Re: Re: Cultural affiliation (was using siblings to gang up)

[Guest guest]

Walking,

It doesn't sound at all crazy. I think there are

probably many people from many cultures who feel this

way. I’ve had a similar experience with this kind of

thing and would guess that it’s especially common

among KOs. What do you all think of this?

One Non-BP Recovering Man

--- walkingto happiness

wrote:

> Hi ,

>

> Your brown hair is something I can relate to. I

> have darker skin coloring, dark brown hair and dark

> eyes. My siblings have lighter skin tones, and

> clear eyes. I absolutely think being the " bad

> child " and being split " black " has to do with

> coloring of my body. I really do. For nada, the

> lighter one is the better.

>

> Nada told me once that I should only date guys

> with clear eyes, and blue eyes were the most

> desirable, because I have some genes for clear eyes,

> and if I were to have children with someone with

> dark eyes, then those genes would be lost forever.

> Nada told me to " keep the genes for clear eyes " as

> if something is wrong with me for darker coloring

> and eyes.

>

> The thing that is really wierd about this, as if

> that isn't wierd enough, is that I have always felt

> more comfortable among black and Latino people. I

> sort of look Latino, although that is not my

> heritage, but it also has to do with being

> immigrant. Being an immigrant, you sort of have more

> freedom to choose which ethnic group you want to

> hang out with in the US, because you are not really

> defined in the census categories. But, I always

> have darker skinned friends, all my life. My

> brother, who is lighter, hangs out exclusively with

> whiter people. This makes sense to me, because he

> was split white and I was split black. This is

> totally reasonable to me. The thing is, I have had

> a lot of people question me, especially white

> people, as to why I would hang out with mostly

> darker skinned people when I could almost go either

> way in terms of my own coloring. It's not something

> I can explain to normal people, and it's not really

> logical, and I really feel uncomfortable when

> people ask me about it.

>

> Sometimes people get it. People will just say

> " oh, she's black " . and I think, yeah I am, on the

> inside, because I was split black most of my life.

> I have found more acceptance and care among browner

> people than among white people. I feel

> uncomfortable around white people. I guess I am a

> reverse-prejudiced person, but it is really just the

> result of decades of training from nada, my

> siblings, the foo and nada's preferential treatment

> of my lighter siblings.

>

> Do I sound crazy, or has anyone else felt this

> way?? I think it is especially interesting because

> in terms of immigrants and trying to find your place

> in America, my brother married a REALLY blonde

> woman. She looks like a Barbie doll. Nada loves

> her. I guess they are " keeping the clear eyed

> genes " as nada would say.

>

> Ozzy, isn't it?

>

> Walkingto happiness.

>

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>