Guest guest Posted April 9, 2008 Report Share Posted April 9, 2008 Dear Ron, I don't remember all of the circumstances, but is there a particular reason your Mom couldn't be moved into the nursing home in which you will be working a full-time position as a CNA? It seems like the perfect solution, but there must be a good reason you're not considering it. Is it that you think she would be very upset--even if you're there? Norma Ron <dawgg4456yahoo (DOT) com> To Sent by: lbdcaregivers LBDcaregivers@yah cc oogroups.com Subject still tough choices 04/09/2008 10:23 AM Please respond to LBDcaregivers@yah oogroups.com Hi everyone.A quick update is probably due being that I hardly ever post anymore.Life has been changing by the day for us.Mom is still in her own house with my nephew.I am with , and yesterday I got offered a fulltime position as a cna at a nursing home here in town.But my nephew called last night and said they were only going to stay with mom for 20 more days and Ive been on the phone with family members trying to work something out for after the twenty days , but to no avail.My sister is buying a home and should be in it in about 8 weeks and she said that when she gets it mom could stay with her.But I cant find any solutions for mom to live at home until then unless I turn down the job and move back home.So thats where things are at right now and I may have to move back with mom, if I do then it will be sooner than later because I dont want to start work and then quit and also if I dont start work I dont have an income and cant afford to drive to moms everyday to help her and take her to appointments.So it looks like Im moving home within the next few days.I wish I knew what else to do and I hope my brothers and sisters someday realize what theyve done to me by not caring at all.I will never forgive them.I hope your all well. Ron __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 9, 2008 Report Share Posted April 9, 2008 --- Hi Norma, Yes thats pretty much it.When I moved her in with and I in s house she got exellant treatment but would get very upset and stay that way, she would refuse her meds and wed have to argue with her for hours just to get her to take them.Thats with me and so I know it would be worse in a nursing home. In LBDcaregivers , Norma Loeb/CORPHQ/NYTIMES wrote: > > > Dear Ron, > > I don't remember all of the circumstances, but is there a particular reason > your Mom couldn't be moved into the nursing home in which you will be > working a full-time position as a CNA? It seems like the perfect solution, > but there must be a good reason you're not considering it. Is it that you > think she would be very upset--even if you're there? > > Norma > > > > > Ron > <dawgg4456yahoo (DOT) > com> To > Sent by: lbdcaregivers > LBDcaregivers@yah cc > oogroups.com > Subject > still tough choices > 04/09/2008 10:23 > AM > > > Please respond to > LBDcaregivers@yah > oogroups.com > > > > > > > > > > Hi everyone.A quick update is probably due being that I hardly ever post > anymore.Life has been changing by the day for us.Mom is still in her own > house with my nephew.I am with , and yesterday I got offered a > fulltime position as a cna at a nursing home here in town.But my nephew > called last night and said they were only going to stay with mom for 20 > more days and Ive been on the phone with family members trying to work > something out for after the twenty days , but to no avail.My sister is > buying a home and should be in it in about 8 weeks and she said that when > she gets it mom could stay with her.But I cant find any solutions for mom > to live at home until then unless I turn down the job and move back home.So > thats where things are at right now and I may have to move back with mom, > if I do then it will be sooner than later because I dont want to start work > and then quit and also if I dont start work I dont have an income and cant > afford to drive to > moms everyday to help her and take her to appointments.So it looks like Im > moving home within the next few days.I wish I knew what else to do and I > hope my brothers and sisters someday realize what theyve done to me by not > caring at all.I will never forgive them.I hope your all well. Ron > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 9, 2008 Report Share Posted April 9, 2008 Ron, I don't know exactly what stage she is at. Is she very much aware of her surroundings? Is there absolutely no possibility of getting a home health aide to come in to help her in her home? " dawgg4456 " <dawgg4456yahoo (DOT) com> To Sent by: LBDcaregivers LBDcaregivers@yah cc oogroups.com Subject Re: still tough 04/09/2008 10:36 choices AM Please respond to LBDcaregivers@yah oogroups.com --- Hi Norma, Yes thats pretty much it.When I moved her in with and I in s house she got exellant treatment but would get very upset and stay that way, she would refuse her meds and wed have to argue with her for hours just to get her to take them.Thats with me and so I know it would be worse in a nursing home. In LBDcaregivers , Norma Loeb/CORPHQ/NYTIMES wrote: > > > Dear Ron, > > I don't remember all of the circumstances, but is there a particular reason > your Mom couldn't be moved into the nursing home in which you will be > working a full-time position as a CNA? It seems like the perfect solution, > but there must be a good reason you're not considering it. Is it that you > think she would be very upset--even if you're there? > > Norma > > > > > Ron > <dawgg4456yahoo (DOT) > com> To > Sent by: lbdcaregivers > LBDcaregivers@yah cc > oogroups.com > Subject > still tough choices > 04/09/2008 10:23 > AM > > > Please respond to > LBDcaregivers@yah > oogroups.com > > > > > > > > > > Hi everyone.A quick update is probably due being that I hardly ever post > anymore.Life has been changing by the day for us.Mom is still in her own > house with my nephew.I am with , and yesterday I got offered a > fulltime position as a cna at a nursing home here in town.But my nephew > called last night and said they were only going to stay with mom for 20 > more days and Ive been on the phone with family members trying to work > something out for after the twenty days , but to no avail.My sister is > buying a home and should be in it in about 8 weeks and she said that when > she gets it mom could stay with her.But I cant find any solutions for mom > to live at home until then unless I turn down the job and move back home.So > thats where things are at right now and I may have to move back with mom, > if I do then it will be sooner than later because I dont want to start work > and then quit and also if I dont start work I dont have an income and cant > afford to drive to > moms everyday to help her and take her to appointments.So it looks like Im > moving home within the next few days.I wish I knew what else to do and I > hope my brothers and sisters someday realize what theyve done to me by not > caring at all.I will never forgive them.I hope your all well. Ron > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 9, 2008 Report Share Posted April 9, 2008 -- Well right now she is aware of her surroundings, understands enough to know that she wants to be at home, but has no reasoning at all like a small child.I have looked in to home helpers but she doesnt make that much, and the pace program would only be available for us if we were in the next county over.I do have it set up so the agency on aging pays for a cena, but its only three hours a day and they wont pay more, so thats how I was getting paid when i was with her 24/7 that was my only income, now that Im not there I dont have an income unless I take the job offer.And an outside cena coming in for 3 hours a day doesnt fix the problem.So it leaves me pretty helpless other than to just go back home and do things like I was doing them. In LBDcaregivers , Norma Loeb/CORPHQ/NYTIMES wrote: > > > Ron, > > I don't know exactly what stage she is at. Is she very much aware of her > surroundings? > > Is there absolutely no possibility of getting a home health aide to come in > to help her in her home? > > > > > " dawgg4456 " > <dawgg4456yahoo (DOT) > com> To > Sent by: LBDcaregivers > LBDcaregivers@yah cc > oogroups.com > Subject > Re: still tough > 04/09/2008 10:36 choices > AM > > > Please respond to > LBDcaregivers@yah > oogroups.com > > > > > > > > > > --- > Hi Norma, > Yes thats pretty much it.When I moved her in with and I in > s house she got exellant treatment but would get very upset and > stay that way, she would refuse her meds and wed have to argue with > her for hours just to get her to take them.Thats with me and so > I know it would be worse in a nursing home. > > In LBDcaregivers , Norma Loeb/CORPHQ/NYTIMES > <Normal@> wrote: > > > > > > Dear Ron, > > > > I don't remember all of the circumstances, but is there a particular > reason > > your Mom couldn't be moved into the nursing home in which you will be > > working a full-time position as a CNA? It seems like the perfect > solution, > > but there must be a good reason you're not considering it. Is it > that you > > think she would be very upset--even if you're there? > > > > Norma > > > > > > > > > > > Ron > > > <dawgg4456yahoo (DOT) > > > com> > To > > Sent by: lbdcaregivers > > > LBDcaregivers@yah > cc > > oogroups.com > > > > Subject > > still tough > choices > > 04/09/2008 10:23 > > > AM > > > > > > > > > Please respond to > > > LBDcaregivers@yah > > > oogroups.com > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Hi everyone.A quick update is probably due being that I hardly ever post > > anymore.Life has been changing by the day for us.Mom is still in her own > > house with my nephew.I am with , and yesterday I got offered a > > fulltime position as a cna at a nursing home here in town.But my nephew > > called last night and said they were only going to stay with mom for 20 > > more days and Ive been on the phone with family members trying to work > > something out for after the twenty days , but to no avail.My sister is > > buying a home and should be in it in about 8 weeks and she said that > when > > she gets it mom could stay with her.But I cant find any solutions > for mom > > to live at home until then unless I turn down the job and move back > home.So > > thats where things are at right now and I may have to move back with > mom, > > if I do then it will be sooner than later because I dont want to > start work > > and then quit and also if I dont start work I dont have an income > and cant > > afford to drive to > > moms everyday to help her and take her to appointments.So it looks > like Im > > moving home within the next few days.I wish I knew what else to do and I > > hope my brothers and sisters someday realize what theyve done to me > by not > > caring at all.I will never forgive them.I hope your all well. Ron > > > > __________________________________________________ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 9, 2008 Report Share Posted April 9, 2008 ---Norma, I just wanted to say though that if you or anyone have any suggestions I appreciate any input.I really dont see any good solutions I was once dead set against putting her in a nh but this is getting so hard to deal with I hardly can function.Thats why I keep thinking that if I just move back at least I cant rest my mind some.Its not fair but if thats the only way I can get some peace of mind then so be it.I appreciate being able to get this out and here your and all oppinions because I know that you guys care.Thats what we do here, and you all feel more like family than my own family does. Ron In LBDcaregivers , " dawgg4456 " wrote: > > -- Well right now she is aware of her surroundings, understands > enough to know that she wants to be at home, but has no reasoning at > all like a small child.I have looked in to home helpers but she doesnt > make that much, and the pace program would only be available for us if > we were in the next county over.I do have it set up so the agency on > aging pays for a cena, but its only three hours a day and they wont > pay more, so thats how I was getting paid when i was with her 24/7 > that was my only income, now that Im not there I dont have an income > unless I take the job offer.And an outside cena coming in for 3 hours > a day doesnt fix the problem.So it leaves me pretty helpless other > than to just go back home and do things like I was doing them. > > > In LBDcaregivers , Norma Loeb/CORPHQ/NYTIMES > <Normal@> wrote: > > > > > > Ron, > > > > I don't know exactly what stage she is at. Is she very much aware > of her > > surroundings? > > > > Is there absolutely no possibility of getting a home health aide to > come in > > to help her in her home? > > > > > > > > > > > " dawgg4456 " > > > <dawgg4456yahoo (DOT) > > > com> > To > > Sent by: LBDcaregivers > > > LBDcaregivers@yah > cc > > oogroups.com > > > > Subject > > Re: still > tough > > 04/09/2008 10:36 choices > > > AM > > > > > > > > > Please respond to > > > LBDcaregivers@yah > > > oogroups.com > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > --- > > Hi Norma, > > Yes thats pretty much it.When I moved her in with and I in > > s house she got exellant treatment but would get very upset and > > stay that way, she would refuse her meds and wed have to argue with > > her for hours just to get her to take them.Thats with me and so > > I know it would be worse in a nursing home. > > > > In LBDcaregivers , Norma Loeb/CORPHQ/NYTIMES > > <Normal@> wrote: > > > > > > > > > Dear Ron, > > > > > > I don't remember all of the circumstances, but is there a particular > > reason > > > your Mom couldn't be moved into the nursing home in which you will be > > > working a full-time position as a CNA? It seems like the perfect > > solution, > > > but there must be a good reason you're not considering it. Is it > > that you > > > think she would be very upset--even if you're there? > > > > > > Norma > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Ron > > > > > <dawgg4456yahoo (DOT) > > > > > com> > > To > > > Sent by: lbdcaregivers > > > > > LBDcaregivers@yah > > cc > > > oogroups.com > > > > > > > Subject > > > still tough > > choices > > > 04/09/2008 10:23 > > > > > AM > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Please respond to > > > > > LBDcaregivers@yah > > > > > oogroups.com > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Hi everyone.A quick update is probably due being that I hardly > ever post > > > anymore.Life has been changing by the day for us.Mom is still in > her own > > > house with my nephew.I am with , and yesterday I got offered a > > > fulltime position as a cna at a nursing home here in town.But my > nephew > > > called last night and said they were only going to stay with mom > for 20 > > > more days and Ive been on the phone with family members trying to work > > > something out for after the twenty days , but to no avail.My sister is > > > buying a home and should be in it in about 8 weeks and she said that > > when > > > she gets it mom could stay with her.But I cant find any solutions > > for mom > > > to live at home until then unless I turn down the job and move back > > home.So > > > thats where things are at right now and I may have to move back with > > mom, > > > if I do then it will be sooner than later because I dont want to > > start work > > > and then quit and also if I dont start work I dont have an income > > and cant > > > afford to drive to > > > moms everyday to help her and take her to appointments.So it looks > > like Im > > > moving home within the next few days.I wish I knew what else to do > and I > > > hope my brothers and sisters someday realize what theyve done to me > > by not > > > caring at all.I will never forgive them.I hope your all well. Ron > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 9, 2008 Report Share Posted April 9, 2008 Ron, My assumption is that she owns her own? So she wouldn't be eligible for Medicaid. Have you looked into a reverse mortgage? " dawgg4456 " <dawgg4456yahoo (DOT) com> To Sent by: LBDcaregivers LBDcaregivers@yah cc oogroups.com Subject Re: still tough 04/09/2008 10:47 choices AM Please respond to LBDcaregivers@yah oogroups.com -- Well right now she is aware of her surroundings, understands enough to know that she wants to be at home, but has no reasoning at all like a small child.I have looked in to home helpers but she doesnt make that much, and the pace program would only be available for us if we were in the next county over.I do have it set up so the agency on aging pays for a cena, but its only three hours a day and they wont pay more, so thats how I was getting paid when i was with her 24/7 that was my only income, now that Im not there I dont have an income unless I take the job offer.And an outside cena coming in for 3 hours a day doesnt fix the problem.So it leaves me pretty helpless other than to just go back home and do things like I was doing them. In LBDcaregivers , Norma Loeb/CORPHQ/NYTIMES wrote: > > > Ron, > > I don't know exactly what stage she is at. Is she very much aware of her > surroundings? > > Is there absolutely no possibility of getting a home health aide to come in > to help her in her home? > > > > > " dawgg4456 " > <dawgg4456yahoo (DOT) > com> To > Sent by: LBDcaregivers > LBDcaregivers@yah cc > oogroups.com > Subject > Re: still tough > 04/09/2008 10:36 choices > AM > > > Please respond to > LBDcaregivers@yah > oogroups.com > > > > > > > > > > --- > Hi Norma, > Yes thats pretty much it.When I moved her in with and I in > s house she got exellant treatment but would get very upset and > stay that way, she would refuse her meds and wed have to argue with > her for hours just to get her to take them.Thats with me and so > I know it would be worse in a nursing home. > > In LBDcaregivers , Norma Loeb/CORPHQ/NYTIMES > <Normal@> wrote: > > > > > > Dear Ron, > > > > I don't remember all of the circumstances, but is there a particular > reason > > your Mom couldn't be moved into the nursing home in which you will be > > working a full-time position as a CNA? It seems like the perfect > solution, > > but there must be a good reason you're not considering it. Is it > that you > > think she would be very upset--even if you're there? > > > > Norma > > > > > > > > > > > Ron > > > <dawgg4456yahoo (DOT) > > > com> > To > > Sent by: lbdcaregivers > > > LBDcaregivers@yah > cc > > oogroups.com > > > > Subject > > still tough > choices > > 04/09/2008 10:23 > > > AM > > > > > > > > > Please respond to > > > LBDcaregivers@yah > > > oogroups.com > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Hi everyone.A quick update is probably due being that I hardly ever post > > anymore.Life has been changing by the day for us.Mom is still in her own > > house with my nephew.I am with , and yesterday I got offered a > > fulltime position as a cna at a nursing home here in town.But my nephew > > called last night and said they were only going to stay with mom for 20 > > more days and Ive been on the phone with family members trying to work > > something out for after the twenty days , but to no avail.My sister is > > buying a home and should be in it in about 8 weeks and she said that > when > > she gets it mom could stay with her.But I cant find any solutions > for mom > > to live at home until then unless I turn down the job and move back > home.So > > thats where things are at right now and I may have to move back with > mom, > > if I do then it will be sooner than later because I dont want to > start work > > and then quit and also if I dont start work I dont have an income > and cant > > afford to drive to > > moms everyday to help her and take her to appointments.So it looks > like Im > > moving home within the next few days.I wish I knew what else to do and I > > hope my brothers and sisters someday realize what theyve done to me > by not > > caring at all.I will never forgive them.I hope your all well. Ron > > > > __________________________________________________ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 9, 2008 Report Share Posted April 9, 2008 Ron, your life seems to have as many roller coaster highs and lows as LBD! Could you tell the nh that wants to hire you the status of things in your life right now and possibly not start working for them until your sister can take Mom? Or place her in the same nh and then you could really oversee her care and work as well? Something has to work out for both of you here. So sorry for the lows you continually battle. Life will turn around for you. It just might need a little nudge. > > Hi everyone.A quick update is probably due being that I hardly ever post anymore.Life has been changing by the day for us.Mom is still in her own house with my nephew.I am with , and yesterday I got offered a fulltime position as a cna at a nursing home here in town.But my nephew called last night and said they were only going to stay with mom for 20 more days and Ive been on the phone with family members trying to work something out for after the twenty days , but to no avail.My sister is buying a home and should be in it in about 8 weeks and she said that when she gets it mom could stay with her.But I cant find any solutions for mom to live at home until then unless I turn down the job and move back home.So thats where things are at right now and I may have to move back with mom, if I do then it will be sooner than later because I dont want to start work and then quit and also if I dont start work I dont have an income and cant afford to drive to > moms everyday to help her and take her to appointments.So it looks like Im moving home within the next few days.I wish I knew what else to do and I hope my brothers and sisters someday realize what theyve done to me by not caring at all.I will never forgive them.I hope your all well. Ron > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 9, 2008 Report Share Posted April 9, 2008 Ron, Which part about being at 's did she not like or resent the most? " dawgg4456 " <dawgg4456yahoo (DOT) com> To Sent by: LBDcaregivers LBDcaregivers@yah cc oogroups.com Subject Re: still tough 04/09/2008 11:04 choices AM Please respond to LBDcaregivers@yah oogroups.com ---Norma, I just wanted to say though that if you or anyone have any suggestions I appreciate any input.I really dont see any good solutions I was once dead set against putting her in a nh but this is getting so hard to deal with I hardly can function.Thats why I keep thinking that if I just move back at least I cant rest my mind some.Its not fair but if thats the only way I can get some peace of mind then so be it.I appreciate being able to get this out and here your and all oppinions because I know that you guys care.Thats what we do here, and you all feel more like family than my own family does. Ron In LBDcaregivers , " dawgg4456 " wrote: > > -- Well right now she is aware of her surroundings, understands > enough to know that she wants to be at home, but has no reasoning at > all like a small child.I have looked in to home helpers but she doesnt > make that much, and the pace program would only be available for us if > we were in the next county over.I do have it set up so the agency on > aging pays for a cena, but its only three hours a day and they wont > pay more, so thats how I was getting paid when i was with her 24/7 > that was my only income, now that Im not there I dont have an income > unless I take the job offer.And an outside cena coming in for 3 hours > a day doesnt fix the problem.So it leaves me pretty helpless other > than to just go back home and do things like I was doing them. > > > In LBDcaregivers , Norma Loeb/CORPHQ/NYTIMES > <Normal@> wrote: > > > > > > Ron, > > > > I don't know exactly what stage she is at. Is she very much aware > of her > > surroundings? > > > > Is there absolutely no possibility of getting a home health aide to > come in > > to help her in her home? > > > > > > > > > > > " dawgg4456 " > > > <dawgg4456yahoo (DOT) > > > com> > To > > Sent by: LBDcaregivers > > > LBDcaregivers@yah > cc > > oogroups.com > > > > Subject > > Re: still > tough > > 04/09/2008 10:36 choices > > > AM > > > > > > > > > Please respond to > > > LBDcaregivers@yah > > > oogroups.com > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > --- > > Hi Norma, > > Yes thats pretty much it.When I moved her in with and I in > > s house she got exellant treatment but would get very upset and > > stay that way, she would refuse her meds and wed have to argue with > > her for hours just to get her to take them.Thats with me and so > > I know it would be worse in a nursing home. > > > > In LBDcaregivers , Norma Loeb/CORPHQ/NYTIMES > > <Normal@> wrote: > > > > > > > > > Dear Ron, > > > > > > I don't remember all of the circumstances, but is there a particular > > reason > > > your Mom couldn't be moved into the nursing home in which you will be > > > working a full-time position as a CNA? It seems like the perfect > > solution, > > > but there must be a good reason you're not considering it. Is it > > that you > > > think she would be very upset--even if you're there? > > > > > > Norma > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Ron > > > > > <dawgg4456yahoo (DOT) > > > > > com> > > To > > > Sent by: lbdcaregivers > > > > > LBDcaregivers@yah > > cc > > > oogroups.com > > > > > > > Subject > > > still tough > > choices > > > 04/09/2008 10:23 > > > > > AM > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Please respond to > > > > > LBDcaregivers@yah > > > > > oogroups.com > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Hi everyone.A quick update is probably due being that I hardly > ever post > > > anymore.Life has been changing by the day for us.Mom is still in > her own > > > house with my nephew.I am with , and yesterday I got offered a > > > fulltime position as a cna at a nursing home here in town.But my > nephew > > > called last night and said they were only going to stay with mom > for 20 > > > more days and Ive been on the phone with family members trying to work > > > something out for after the twenty days , but to no avail.My sister is > > > buying a home and should be in it in about 8 weeks and she said that > > when > > > she gets it mom could stay with her.But I cant find any solutions > > for mom > > > to live at home until then unless I turn down the job and move back > > home.So > > > thats where things are at right now and I may have to move back with > > mom, > > > if I do then it will be sooner than later because I dont want to > > start work > > > and then quit and also if I dont start work I dont have an income > > and cant > > > afford to drive to > > > moms everyday to help her and take her to appointments.So it looks > > like Im > > > moving home within the next few days.I wish I knew what else to do > and I > > > hope my brothers and sisters someday realize what theyve done to me > > by not > > > caring at all.I will never forgive them.I hope your all well. Ron > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 9, 2008 Report Share Posted April 9, 2008 Ron, remind me in which city and state you live. " dawgg4456 " <dawgg4456yahoo (DOT) com> To Sent by: LBDcaregivers LBDcaregivers@yah cc oogroups.com Subject Re: still tough 04/09/2008 10:47 choices AM Please respond to LBDcaregivers@yah oogroups.com -- Well right now she is aware of her surroundings, understands enough to know that she wants to be at home, but has no reasoning at all like a small child.I have looked in to home helpers but she doesnt make that much, and the pace program would only be available for us if we were in the next county over.I do have it set up so the agency on aging pays for a cena, but its only three hours a day and they wont pay more, so thats how I was getting paid when i was with her 24/7 that was my only income, now that Im not there I dont have an income unless I take the job offer.And an outside cena coming in for 3 hours a day doesnt fix the problem.So it leaves me pretty helpless other than to just go back home and do things like I was doing them. In LBDcaregivers , Norma Loeb/CORPHQ/NYTIMES wrote: > > > Ron, > > I don't know exactly what stage she is at. Is she very much aware of her > surroundings? > > Is there absolutely no possibility of getting a home health aide to come in > to help her in her home? > > > > > " dawgg4456 " > <dawgg4456yahoo (DOT) > com> To > Sent by: LBDcaregivers > LBDcaregivers@yah cc > oogroups.com > Subject > Re: still tough > 04/09/2008 10:36 choices > AM > > > Please respond to > LBDcaregivers@yah > oogroups.com > > > > > > > > > > --- > Hi Norma, > Yes thats pretty much it.When I moved her in with and I in > s house she got exellant treatment but would get very upset and > stay that way, she would refuse her meds and wed have to argue with > her for hours just to get her to take them.Thats with me and so > I know it would be worse in a nursing home. > > In LBDcaregivers , Norma Loeb/CORPHQ/NYTIMES > <Normal@> wrote: > > > > > > Dear Ron, > > > > I don't remember all of the circumstances, but is there a particular > reason > > your Mom couldn't be moved into the nursing home in which you will be > > working a full-time position as a CNA? It seems like the perfect > solution, > > but there must be a good reason you're not considering it. Is it > that you > > think she would be very upset--even if you're there? > > > > Norma > > > > > > > > > > > Ron > > > <dawgg4456yahoo (DOT) > > > com> > To > > Sent by: lbdcaregivers > > > LBDcaregivers@yah > cc > > oogroups.com > > > > Subject > > still tough > choices > > 04/09/2008 10:23 > > > AM > > > > > > > > > Please respond to > > > LBDcaregivers@yah > > > oogroups.com > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Hi everyone.A quick update is probably due being that I hardly ever post > > anymore.Life has been changing by the day for us.Mom is still in her own > > house with my nephew.I am with , and yesterday I got offered a > > fulltime position as a cna at a nursing home here in town.But my nephew > > called last night and said they were only going to stay with mom for 20 > > more days and Ive been on the phone with family members trying to work > > something out for after the twenty days , but to no avail.My sister is > > buying a home and should be in it in about 8 weeks and she said that > when > > she gets it mom could stay with her.But I cant find any solutions > for mom > > to live at home until then unless I turn down the job and move back > home.So > > thats where things are at right now and I may have to move back with > mom, > > if I do then it will be sooner than later because I dont want to > start work > > and then quit and also if I dont start work I dont have an income > and cant > > afford to drive to > > moms everyday to help her and take her to appointments.So it looks > like Im > > moving home within the next few days.I wish I knew what else to do and I > > hope my brothers and sisters someday realize what theyve done to me > by not > > caring at all.I will never forgive them.I hope your all well. Ron > > > > __________________________________________________ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 9, 2008 Report Share Posted April 9, 2008 Dear Ron, I am so sorry with all my heart. So close to a job and so far. If you do take care of your Mother can you ask the NH where you would work if you can still get the job later? Or, can your Mother be placed in the same facility where you would work? You would be able to look in on her that way. I know a nurse that did it with both her grandparents. It worked well. They didn't feel negelected, and they were reassured by the granddaughter's visits, and closeness. They were never neglected by caregivers, because one of their own workers was close by all the time. The granddaughter kept tabs on eveything. Love you Ron, hope something works out for you. Love a bunch, Imogene > > Hi everyone.A quick update is probably due being that I hardly ever post anymore.Life has been changing by the day for us.Mom is still in her own house with my nephew.I am with , and yesterday I got offered a fulltime position as a cna at a nursing home here in town.But my nephew called last night and said they were only going to stay with mom for 20 more days and Ive been on the phone with family members trying to work something out for after the twenty days , but to no avail.My sister is buying a home and should be in it in about 8 weeks and she said that when she gets it mom could stay with her.But I cant find any solutions for mom to live at home until then unless I turn down the job and move back home.So thats where things are at right now and I may have to move back with mom, if I do then it will be sooner than later because I dont want to start work and then quit and also if I dont start work I dont have an income and cant afford to drive to > moms everyday to help her and take her to appointments.So it looks like Im moving home within the next few days.I wish I knew what else to do and I hope my brothers and sisters someday realize what theyve done to me by not caring at all.I will never forgive them.I hope your all well. Ron > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 9, 2008 Report Share Posted April 9, 2008 Ron, would the place you are going to work allow you to bring your mom for " day care " during your shift? I realize it would cut down on what you would make, but you could have her near and still work. carol __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 10, 2008 Report Share Posted April 10, 2008 Ron, I so wish I knew what to say or had ideas to make this work but I don't. I am really feeling it for you, and your mom. Are your siblings aware of what a strain this is causing your relationship and the ability to get employment???? Do you think you could talk to the NH and explain the situation and see if they can extend your start date? Grasping for straws here Ron. Wish I could offer more. Courage still tough choices Hi everyone.A quick update is probably due being that I hardly ever post anymore.Life has been changing by the day for us.Mom is still in her own house with my nephew.I am with , and yesterday I got offered a fulltime position as a cna at a nursing home here in town.But my nephew called last night and said they were only going to stay with mom for 20 more days and Ive been on the phone with family members trying to work something out for after the twenty days , but to no avail.My sister is buying a home and should be in it in about 8 weeks and she said that when she gets it mom could stay with her.But I cant find any solutions for mom to live at home until then unless I turn down the job and move back home.So thats where things are at right now and I may have to move back with mom, if I do then it will be sooner than later because I dont want to start work and then quit and also if I dont start work I dont have an income and cant afford to drive to moms everyday to help her and take her to appointments.So it looks like Im moving home within the next few days.I wish I knew what else to do and I hope my brothers and sisters someday realize what theyve done to me by not caring at all.I will never forgive them.I hope your all well. Ron __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 10, 2008 Report Share Posted April 10, 2008 Ron, my heart breaks for you. I know your commitment to keep your Mom home is as strong as mine. Is it possible for you to take her to work with you? Would the NH be willing to work something out like that with you? My other concern is a financial one. As long as you aren't working, you aren't paying into a pension or social security for your own old age. You have to plan for that as well. I have a husband who provides for me. Unfortunately, you don't. I don't know what your financial situation is and I don't want to know because its none of my business but, it is something you have to consider. ((((HUGS)))) Gladys -- still tough choices Hi everyone.A quick update is probably due being that I hardly ever post anymore.Life has been changing by the day for us.Mom is still in her own house with my nephew.I am with , and yesterday I got offered a fulltime position as a cna at a nursing home here in town.But my nephew called last night and said they were only going to stay with mom for 20 more days and Ive been on the phone with family members trying to work something out for after the twenty days , but to no avail.My sister is buying a home and should be in it in about 8 weeks and she said that when she gets it mom could stay with her.But I cant find any solutions for mom to live at home until then unless I turn down the job and move back home.So thats where things are at right now and I may have to move back with mom, if I do then it will be sooner than later because I dont want to start work and then quit and also if I dont start work I dont have an income and cant afford to drive to moms everyday to help her and take her to appointments.So it looks like Im moving home within the next few days.I wish I knew what else to do and I hope my brothers and sisters someday realize what theyve done to me by not caring at all.I will never forgive them.I hope your all well. Ron __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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