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Re: I HAVE THE ANSWER

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Our BPD parents had love, real love. There is nothing more real than

the love of children. As innocent children, we gave our love to our

parents, but they didn't recognize it. They didn't cherish it or

nourish it. They just made it very painful for us to love them. I

don't think love is the answer to this problem.

Sylvia

>

> I HAVE THE ANSWER TO BPD.THE REAL ANSWER

> LOOK UP THE FATHER.S LOVE LETTER ON YAHOO.MAYBE ALL BPD NEED IS LOVE

REAL

> LOVE,

>

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Lizzy,

Wow, right on!!! I am right there with you on every point. Well said,

well said. Merry Christmas!

Grace

> >

> >

> >

> > Well, yeah, you're right, but the love the BP really needs is

> THEIR OWN, for

> > themselves.

> >

> > Once upon a time my nada went to a therapist, and discovered she

> had been

> > sexually abused, and what had been done to her was incest and

> child abuse.

> >

> > All she got out of it was a license to complain.

> >

> > That was when I was in high school over 20 years ago, and since

> then

> > countless people have heard her story (whether they wanted to or

> not!), and

> > responded with the appropriate love and sympathy.

> >

> > When a normal person gets this kind of response, eventually the

> caring

> > response of other people begins to sink in and the normal person

> can begin

> > to respect and love her own self. She no longer needs to

> compulsively

> > approval-seek and bludgeon other people to listen to her troubles

> and agree

> > with her perspective on absolutely EVERYTHING or she will smear

> them in

> > public, because she can develop a grounding in her own self to

> stand on.

> >

> > BP's cannot do this. Normal support from other people doesn't

> foster

> > healing as it should, and they're stuck in the early therapy

stage

> FOREVER.

> > Everyone becomes their therapist, there to hear and only to hear

> their

> > problems and their opinions and to say and only to say what the

BP

> wants.

> > If you don't do it they attack you, and then they wonder why no

> one loves

> > them, feel worthless, repeat cycle ad nauseum.

> >

> > This is why the BP needs such intensive help. They are unable to

> love

> > themselves in circumstances which would be healing to most people.

> >

> > --LL.

> >

>

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