RE: Day Late, Dollar Short

[Guest guest]

> Okay, run your explanation by me, 'cause I missed something

somewhere! What

> happened?

Ah, I must not have fully woken up when I wrote that. I had a self-

harming meltdown. I'm usually good at begining and ending my

stories... it's the stuff in the middle that I neglect to mention.

[Guest guest]

hey can I steal some of that for my family's cards?

tikigalharkins@... wrote:

> I'm not following either. Were you late in paying some bill?? I would

> be embarassed if that happened to me! Let us in on a little more so we

> could help out. Sorry I was late with this on a prior post but here's my

> input/idea for that " card. "

> " Pardon me if we are having a communication gap here. During my

> lifetime living with Aspergers/Autism, I've faced many such difficult

> encounters in my efforts to maintain civilized relationships & socialize

> amongst others. Obviously, I am hurt and offended by your actions

> toward me since they do not meet my standards and thus, I find them

> quite unbecoming. Oh and BTW, excuse me for stepping on your proverbial

> toe!! ; > P "

>

>

> http://community.webtv.net/tikigalharkins/LETSTALKASPERGERS

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

[Guest guest]

Kaiden wrote:

>I just wrote something for my boss, explaining why the police came in and

>dragged me away from work, and why I'm returning to work with two admittance

>bracelets on my right arm and a hatchwork of scars on my left.

>

>I was wondering if there's any " generic " explanations that I can either

>print-out or photocopy, in case I ever have to explain this to a different

>boss.

So you had a melt-down, eh? And someone called the police,

apparently. I suppose the explanation should be tailored to

correspond as much as possible with what the boss cares

about. You will know better than I can what that will be

for your particular boss. In general, I supopse a boss will

want to know: Is this likely to happen often? Are you a

danger to your co-workers and/or the company's property?

Isn't it dangerous to have an out-of-control person on the

premises? How are you going to make up for the lost

productivity? Are you going to do something to keep this

from happening again?

That is my attempt to imagine what a boss would be wanting

to know. If my attempt is successful at all (about which I

am not sure), you'll probably want to address some of those

questions in what you write to your boss. If your boss likes

you as a worker (values what you do), you might even be able

to use this as the basis for asking for some accommodations

if there are any you can think of that might make meltdowns

less likely.

In general terms, I guess you could say that autism imposes

a strain on anyone trying to navigate through the world/

workplace. Soemtimes additional stresses cause the load to

overwhelm a person's ability to cope. (If relevant, mention

what the particular stressors were in this case, especially

if you want to ask for accommodation with respect to those

elements of your job).

Remind the boss of how long you have worked without melting

down, assure him/her that you are not likely to do this on

a regular/frequent basis. Suggest that he look on it like

any other time-out (as if you had been taken ill). When I

was anticipating being jailed for a few days, I told my boss

it would be (as far as he was concerned) as if I were home

with the flu for a few days.

Depending on your boss, it might be very important to assure

him that you have (or will have) a plan in place to ensure

that if you do approach meltdown at work again, you will have

a way to do it that with NOT involve the police. Most bosses

do not want the police called to the workplace. So you should

brainstorm some alternatives: a way to " clue " you to your

state of mind/being (any co-workers you can trust?) so you

can meltdown in a place or a way that will not draw so much

attention to you. A " time-out " place, permission to leave

instantly when you really need to, a " mentor " to whom you can

go when you need to, something of that sort. That will reassure

your boss that he doesn't need to sit around anticipating

the next upsetting repetition, and the one after that, and

the one after that.

I don't have anything to suggest right now for something you

could print out and hand your boss. If I come up with anything,

I'll let you know.

Jane

[Guest guest]

Oy.

I'm sorry you've had such a hard time. Don't know what to say. My

bosses wife cut her forearms for about the same reason (she's not on

the spectrum). I saw the cuts soon after she did them. Didn't know

what to say to her, either.

Do sunglasses help at all (with the annoying bright lights)? I like

my medium blue cheap sunglasses, they seem to make fluorescents less

irritating visually. I hope you can get to work with someone else

from now on, less irritating.

Camille

[Guest guest]

Sure, why not??? Glad you like it! ; > )

http://community.webtv.net/tikigalharkins/LETSTALKASPERGERS

[Guest guest]

Dude! I read a more detailed description of what happened on another e-mail;

you need a better stim!

I personally like to bang my head against something, which usually I can

only use my hand. I like to bang the top of my head, not the back (no

headaches), or I just rock. You could also modify the rocking by swinging

your leg while you are sitting in a chair (less obvious to NTs).

Louis

In my house, " normal " is only a setting on the dryer.

> Okay, run your explanation by me, 'cause I missed something

somewhere! What

> happened?

Ah, I must not have fully woken up when I wrote that. I had a self-

harming meltdown. I'm usually good at begining and ending my

stories... it's the stuff in the middle that I neglect to mention.