HELP WANTED: Friend who understands...

June 12, 2005

Dear RA Group;

I probably belong here as well as anywhere else...if you all will

have me that is! I have Lupus, OA, Osteopenia, Post Thyroid CA,

Fibromyalgia, severe sleep apnea, ideopathic sinus tachycardia, and

of course- Depression! It sounds like a lot when you write it all

down, but as you all probably know, a lot of this stuff goes

together, and just makes for one different and difficult life!

Different from who we used to be, and who we wanted to be. Difficult

because it's hard...to give up your career, and vitality, and

independence in some cases. It's hard to live with chronic pain,

and " living " the " claim " years: You know- trying to get your due via

SS, employer-based insurance, VA comp, etc and constantly having

to " prove " your disability instead of being able to do the " healthy "

thing, and get on with this different and difficult life.

I was DX was LUPUS in 1994, after years of severe arthralgias,

a " fetal " demise @ 20 weeks, petechial rashes, and then the big guns:

Brain MRI showing multiple lacunar infarcts, and positive lab work-

once they finally started looking in the right direction. Have had

Fibromyalgia since 1989- before it was even called " fibro " (it was

called various forms of 'myositis'). Thyroid Cancer in 1995. Had to

finally cease and desist my beloved (and much grieved loss of my)

Nurse/Manager position in 1999, and have been trying to get SS and VA

comp since. Actually, been trying to get VA comp since 1991, when I

got out of the AF Nurse Corps during Operation Desert Storm. Finally

after 14 years- I am getting evaluated by the VA MD's (5 different

appointments, no less!)during the next 3 weeks. So I guess I'm a

little more depressed and anxious, and possibly cynnical,than usual-

because I just dont have ANY faith in the VA system doing the right

thing, and I just can't deal with that.

Anyway- thats a little bit about me. I look forward to getting to

know you all.

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