Guest guest Posted February 8, 2007 Report Share Posted February 8, 2007 I know what you're saying. Oftentimes, I can absolutely tell that my sister is being used as a message-bearer. I've learned not to tell my sister anything I don't want to get back to nada, because she gets sucked into telling her everything. As the years go by, she and nada have become more and more enmeshed. My sister says she gets along with nada better now than she has in years. It has been very painful, but I don't talk to or see my sister very often anymore. And I used to consider her my best friend, but realize now it was based on me going along to get along. And when the three of us are together, I mostly just feel invisible. I don't feel that way when I'm with my friends, so now I just limit the time I spend with nada and sis. > > I was thinking about my extended family, specifically the people who > Nada enlists to suck me back in (now that I've been NC with her for a > good ten months). I was thinking that the people who are sent to talk > some sense into me, are her Hoover Attachments! > Anyway, I was thinking how relationships with siblings or cousins who > are HA's, can become painful. My Ha's are my siblings and my cousins. > How are other people's sibling relationships? Does sharing the nada > experience bring you closer, or do you have very different experiences > of nada? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 9, 2007 Report Share Posted February 9, 2007 I¹m an only child, so my HA is fada. Sometimes nada also tries to get grandnada involved, but grandnada doesn¹t seem as willing (or maybe as intimidated) to do it. Like MJL¹s sister, my relationship with nada used to be a lot ³better² - when I was fine with being completely enmeshed. I¹m not okay with that anymore, so now we¹re LC. As far as my relationship with the HAs, they¹re not really that much better, either. I¹m very guarded about what I say to fada and grandnada because I KNOW it will all get back to her seriously, how could it not? The other day, I was talking to fada on the phone, but I could hear her voice before and after almost every statement he made. It was creepy like she was using him for her voice or something. How could he not think that there was something wrong with that? Really, I have my best relationships with non-HAs people who don¹t know anything about nada, or if they do know (like my fiancee), they¹re willing to deal with it as it is an unhealthy family situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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