POWER OUTAGE!

[Guest guest]

POWER OUTAGE DURING A MAMMOGRAM

I actually kept my mammogram appointment. I was met with, " Hi! I'm Belinda! "

This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side

and crooned, " All I need you to do is step into this room right hereee, strip to

the waist, thennnn slip on this gown. Everything clearrrr? "

I'm thinking, " Belinda . try decaf. This ain't rocket science. "

Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.

Call me crazy, but I suspect a man invented this machine. It takes a perfectly

healthy cup size of 36-B to a size 38-LONG in less than 60 seconds. Also, girls

aren't made of sugar and spice and everything nice....it's Spandex. We can be

stretched, pulled and twisted over a cold 4-inch piece of square glass and still

pop back into shape.

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and

said, " Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get

everything? "

Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the

remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off?

My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other boob wedged

between those two 4 " pieces of square glass) when we heard, then felt a zap!

Complete darkness and the power went off! " What? " I yelled.

" Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag. " Belinda headed for the

door.

" Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone, are you? " I shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, " Oh, you fussy puppy . the door's wide open so

you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be righttttt backkkk. "

Before I could shout " NOOOO! " she disappeared.

And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found

me, half-naked and part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part

smashed between glass!

After exchanging polite " Hi, how's it going " type greetings, Bubba (or possibly

Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible.

" Uh, yes, yes I did thanks. "

" You bet, take care " Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been

standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin and making no

attempt to suppress her amusement, she said. " Oh I am soooo sorry! The power

came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch.

Are we upset? "

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the

clamps........

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I am still chuckling over this since yesterday when it was received.

Something similiar happened to my aunt years ago and we teased her

unmercifically forever.

My Aunt was posed in the stir-ups waiting for the doctor to come in for a pelvic

exam when suddenly the lights went out.

Seems the nurse had forgotten to tell the doctor she was prepped and ready and a

few other things also....such as that she was even there. Everyone....and I

mean everyone left for the day and the lights being on automatic turn off when

the alarm system went into effect went off. She had to call the answering

service in order to be released that night.

=^..^=

~ " If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the

entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand. " ~