Guest guest Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 Greg, It sounds like you are asking permission from yourself to end therapy with him. What is stopping you from ending it? What statements are on the surface for you? " I'm just being picky. " " He's the expert, not me. " ??? You make a great case about why he isn't a good partner in your healing. If your stick with him, what do you think will be accomplished? You have the right to find a good match in a partner for your healing. And because you have so much knowledge about your healing and your past and these topics, I would look for a therapist who isn't threatened by your knowledge and abilities, but rather builds upon them. Cheers, a Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 > Greg, As a newbie to the group, I have to say that I have found your posts to be insightful, truthful and so supportive of others while at the same time respecting their own personal issues and choices. I think that you must possess a great deal of emotional intelligence for that. I wonder what experience your therapist has had with KO BPD, it sounds like you need to find one who " fits " you better. In the meantime, please know that you are supported here, even if it's just good thoughts sent your way! Take care, O. > Hey Everyone, > > I had therapy today, early this afternoon. It has taken this long to calm down enough to write coherently, and I still am not sure how this is going to come out. I had just explained a dream and the feelings that I used to have and that are now coming back as I've gone n/c with my mom to my psychiatrist. I was very vulnerable and even told him so. He said, " Your emotional IQ must be very low. Oh, that didn't sound right. " From the look on my face, I gathered that he realized he made a huge Freudian slip. I asked him, " What makes you say that? " And he tried to skirt it. He said that I may have problems reading people's emotions, people's body language, etc. THAT IS ALL BULL SHIT. If anything, I'm too acute at reading these things. So I stayed right with it and said " What indicators show you that I have a lack of emotional skill sets? I realize that, as a child of a mother who has BPd And a father that had APD I have some difficult times trusting people, but it > just takes me longer. " He told me that b/c I was not mirrored properly, it's only natural that I would have deficits. I agreed, but that first statement had a harsh, quick tone to it that stings to this moment. I also told him that while I was in school last year, we had one class that the prof encouraged us to take all these very expensive psych tests, as they were freee or next to free. I did and my score on teh emotional IQ was very high. I told him this and he just laughed. He's missed 3 appointments out of 8 and I didn't like his remark 3 weeks ago that he had me scheduled in his calendar indefinitely. He wasn't laughing: Tuesdays at 1:30. This is not what feel right; it's not what I signed up for. When I ask himabout the treatment plan, he gets vague and skirts the question and then when something emotionally hard comes up, he says, " Well, this is why we need to keep working on your past, as it effects your present dating.... " Yes, and NO. If I listen to > only my gut intuition, it is telling me to end the " therapy. " He is after my money. he is helping on the way, but isn't putting much effort into it. After many sentences he said today, I reminded him what it was like having a BPD mother and what UBM said about it. I think that this irritated him. He told me in the beginning that he has some experience treating BPD and KO BPD. I'm not sure he's had enough, b/c the things he is saying are so not a part of the BPD world. He's a nice guy, but i'm not paying for nice. and that comment almost first thing was anything but nice. I know that therapy is a form of manipulation with consent, one-way relationship, built on trust. Was he manipulating me to get me to feel other feelings or transference or what?????????? The last thing is that I read about other people's posts about how they feel good after sessions and I don't. I feel worse. Any advice or comments are welcome........Thanks. Greg. > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 Oh Greg, that is sooo not normal therapy. I've had a few rough spots in therapy, but I did have one genuine quack like how you paint this therapist/psychiatrist of yours and it really freaked me out. I was very shaken and kind of scared to find a new one, but I eventually did a few years later when I moved out of state. I would definitely try and find a new doctor. Even if he had a Freudian slip, it seems a repeated thing w/a lack of sensitivity to your background. But further more, if you can't trust your psychiatrist, then you definitely need a new one- same w/a psychologist. Trust issues WILL come up most likely, but not to this degree and so early on- rather as the relationship builds and the shades of gray open up- or at least that's my experience. But you definitely don't want to keep subjecting yourself to this kind of backhanded abuse and I do think it rather callous of him to insult your emotional IQ like that- rather abusive to be honest in verbiage. I may laugh at myself about my emotional IQ being low yesterday, but someone who doesn't know me that well and whom I'm spilling my guts out to definitely shouldn't say that. Then again, I am not one who EVER suggests spilling one's guts early in on therapy- trust takes time to build and so its too jeopardizing to the person to have them open up like a can of sardines to be further exploited- yet soooo many people approach therapy from this angle-this Freudian angle vs a more concrete behavior/eclectic approach (I do believe things do need to be uncovered,only in due time). That's my two cents, but I feel for you. I've had crappy therapy before and it really scared me away for too long when I needed it the most. Can you find anyone else in the area to help or does this guy have a boss you can talk to? This is just bad bedside manner from any kind of doctor. Kerrie > > Hey Everyone, > > I had therapy today, early this afternoon. It has taken this long to calm down enough to write coherently, and I still am not sure how this is going to come out. I had just explained a dream and the feelings that I used to have and that are now coming back as I've gone n/c with my mom to my psychiatrist. I was very vulnerable and even told him so. He said, " Your emotional IQ must be very low. Oh, that didn't sound right. " From the look on my face, I gathered that he realized he made a huge Freudian slip. I asked him, " What makes you say that? " And he tried to skirt it. He said that I may have problems reading people's emotions, people's body language, etc. THAT IS ALL BULL SHIT. If anything, I'm too acute at reading these things. So I stayed right with it and said " What indicators show you that I have a lack of emotional skill sets? I realize that, as a child of a mother who has BPd And a father that had APD I have some difficult times trusting people, but it > just takes me longer. " He told me that b/c I was not mirrored properly, it's only natural that I would have deficits. I agreed, but that first statement had a harsh, quick tone to it that stings to this moment. I also told him that while I was in school last year, we had one class that the prof encouraged us to take all these very expensive psych tests, as they were freee or next to free. I did and my score on teh emotional IQ was very high. I told him this and he just laughed. He's missed 3 appointments out of 8 and I didn't like his remark 3 weeks ago that he had me scheduled in his calendar indefinitely. He wasn't laughing: Tuesdays at 1:30. This is not what feel right; it's not what I signed up for. When I ask himabout the treatment plan, he gets vague and skirts the question and then when something emotionally hard comes up, he says, " Well, this is why we need to keep working on your past, as it effects your present dating.... " Yes, and NO. If I listen to > only my gut intuition, it is telling me to end the " therapy. " He is after my money. he is helping on the way, but isn't putting much effort into it. After many sentences he said today, I reminded him what it was like having a BPD mother and what UBM said about it. I think that this irritated him. He told me in the beginning that he has some experience treating BPD and KO BPD. I'm not sure he's had enough, b/c the things he is saying are so not a part of the BPD world. He's a nice guy, but i'm not paying for nice. and that comment almost first thing was anything but nice. I know that therapy is a form of manipulation with consent, one-way relationship, built on trust. Was he manipulating me to get me to feel other feelings or transference or what?????????? The last thing is that I read about other people's posts about how they feel good after sessions and I don't. I feel worse. Any advice or comments are welcome........Thanks. Greg. > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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