Re: I'm Cured

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I can read faces and I can make fairly appropriate facial

expressions, but I still have difficulty with eye contact in some

ways, I still am an oaf socially, especially with new people or in

new situtations. I am near the edge of the spectrum heading to plain

ADD or something, but I have self-stimulatory behaviors, have sensory

issues, have spotty work history, clumsiness, bad handwriting,

pedantic speech, talk to myself...I have bunches of " soft signs " . I

definately perseverate and have executive function problems. I have

signs of semantic-pragmatic disorder, a few of hyperlexia...those two

diagnosed by me.

They, the experts, are in the process of redefining AS and HFA.

My mom would not be helpful and my doctor did not talk to her. I

told my doctor plainly that my mom would likely rewrite history to

make me seem more normal, and do it without thinking about it.

She did report to me that I had a fit when she put a perfectly normal

dress on me when I was about 2 1/2 years old. I couldn't stand the

feel of it, apparently.

She didn't know that I used to bang my head on the wall when no one

was at home. She isn't aware of many of my symptoms. She's also

almost 80 years old, my childhood was a long time ago!

Camille

> Today I attended my AS assessment session with my mother before an

AS

> specialist Professor and a fellow female psychologist. This

specialist

> was recommended to me by the National Autistic Society (UK). After 2

> uninformative hours I was again told that I quite clearly did not

have

> AS. This assessment only came about after he had already labelled me

> NT based solely on my mothers answering a questionnaire, of which

she

> said she couldn't remember most of the answers. This assessment, she

> later told me was based on the original questionnaire.

> My problem with my illogical difficulty in addressing my wife by her

> name, was new to him as an AS trait as was a lot of other pointers.

I

> had previously sent him a list of over 60 symptoms. He and his

> associate could not explain why I function in such an unusual

manner,

> other than 'everyone is different' and that I am just a shy,

serious,

> self obsessed thinker. They made a few assumptions which I mostly

> corrected to their subtle dismay but this did not dissuade them from

> their original Dx. They were very much impressed that I have been

> married for 6 years with children and that I have sustained

> employment, regardless of its patchiness.

> Apparently one of the tell-tell signs of me being NT is that I gave

> him eye contact. As far as I could ascertain his dx criteria for AS

> must mean that you must be a complete and obvious social misfit to

score.

>

> I was calm and polite and respectful but clearly not impressed with

> their judgement. Not because I disagree but because I could not

> remember anyone else who views AS in the same light. Maybe I

> misunderstood everything about AS or even about myself, maybe I'm

> confused. This experience has contradicted everything I've learnt.

>

> He put alot of emphasis on my childhood which my mother mostly

failed

> to recollect and interviewed her more than myself. In my opinion her

> few answers were favourable to an AS Dx. All my answers to their

> shallow questions were honest but typically AS answers, although

more

> personally spoken. He said that he will write his assessment to my

GP,

> my mother and myself.

>

> It seems that -Cohen has tricked me with his EQ test etc,

that

> all the books I have read have also misrepresented AS. Even you lot

> are apparently guilty of leading me astray. He said that not

everyone

> on these groups has AS, although he knows some who do, and that not

> all internet information is credible. The only major AS trait, that

I

> do not have to my knowledge, is my NT ability to read faces. I don't

> know if I have learnt this through my long childhood of observing

> rather than contributing, or maybe I'm just a perverse wannabee.

Maybe

> I should face facts and leave this list.

>

> Even my wife is dismayed by all of this. If any of you can give me

> reasons why his Dx is correct, then this would make the pill easier

to

> swallow.

>

> His questions to me were shallow while those to my mother (I later

> learnt) were much more enquiring. I feel that he was simply just

going

> through the motions in order to bury this case.

> It's not so much the AS label that I needed, as the knowledge that I

> have found has benefited my life so much already, I just needed

> recognition for not being lazy or cold or selfish or a hypochondriac

> etc. If he could of explained my 200 odd AS trait coincidences,

then I

> would not have minded so much. As it is, I've been left with no

> answers, just a fake in the mirror.

>

> Anas

[Guest guest]

>

> > If any of you can give me reasons why his Dx is correct,

> > then this would make the pill easier to swallow.

>

> > His questions to me were shallow while those to my mother

> > (I later learnt) were much more enquiring.

>

> I think your mother answered the questions in such a way

> as to make you sound normal, because she didn't want to

> deal with a diagnosis of AS. My Dx was based on the re-

> sults of tests, such as WAIS-3, MMPI, and another one I

> forget the name of. I'm sure that some observations

> entered into making the Dx, but it was mainly the tests

> that provided the best information.

>

> The guy was inpressed with your work record, huh? I've

> been employed for most of 40 years, in a wide variety of

> jobs. I've worked where I am now for nearly 11 years,

> and I can see no reason why I couldn't continue until

> retirement, another 9 years. That is not the criteria

> for Asperger's, and neither is the ability to make eye

> contact. And I also am able to read faces, probably

> better than most NTs do. You need to find a psychologist

> whose definition of Asperger's is more in line with reality,

> instead of assumptions based on media perceptions. And

> leave your mother out of it this time.

>

> Clay

[Guest guest]

Anas,

I can understand your frustration. I have had similar problems with

two doctors, who say that I have various anxiety disorders but not

AS, despite my bringing in lists of AS traits that I possess. In my

case these are doctors who have a lot of experience with AS, so maybe

I should believe them, but it doesn't explain my non-social problems

like clumsiness, bad handwriting and (I just found out after taking

an online test) prosopagnosia (face-blindness) and low ability to

recognize facial expressions. No tests were done on me for these

things with either doctor.

In my case my parents both passed away, so there was no one from my

childhood to remember what I was really like. In addition, I was

very ambivalent about getting an AS diagnosis--in the one way it

would explain some things, but as I had previously believed I had a

curable anxiety disorder, it would have seemed so final to have

something like Asperger's. So I'm thinking that I put a different

spin on things in my childhood when questioned about them, even

though I tried to be as honest as possible.

I have gone through all the lists of traits again, and all of the

sets of diagnostic criteria (except the AQ test, where try as I might

I can't seem to score above 20.) I've listed all that apply to me

and why I feel that they apply. I'm mailing all this to the doctor

who did my most recent evaluation, and will talk to him about it when

I see him next week.

I hope you will be able to find a diagnosis that suits you so you

will be able to be at peace about this. It sounds as if possibly the

doctor you saw doesn't really know that much about AS?

Norah

> Today I attended my AS assessment session with my mother before an

AS

> specialist Professor and a fellow female psychologist. This

specialist

> was recommended to me by the National Autistic Society (UK). After 2

> uninformative hours I was again told that I quite clearly did not

have

> AS. This assessment only came about after he had already labelled me

> NT based solely on my mothers answering a questionnaire, of which

she

> said she couldn't remember most of the answers. This assessment, she

> later told me was based on the original questionnaire.

>

[Guest guest]

Kaiden wrote:

> The guy sounds.... dumb. It's easy to give eye contact, especially in

> a professional setting with clearly defined roles and expectations.

> If he's basing his diagnosis solely on the look of your eyes, you've

> got yourself a bad doctor on your hands.

I'm considering exposing him to the NAS, because at the moment I can

do very little with his status against me on my records.

`Even if you tried faking eye contact I doubt that you could do it' he

said.

Norah wrote:

>I hope you will be able to find a diagnosis that suits you so you

will be able to be at peace about this. It sounds as if possibly the

doctor you saw doesn't really know that much about AS?

This doctor is a Professor and a `AS specialist'. As far as I am

aware, AS specialists are quite rare in the UK. I think that he is the

only one in my city. I also get the impression that he is over worked

especially in his non autistic duties. Unlike you, I have not been

Dx'ed with anything, I'm 'normal'.

I went to a funeral today with about 40 others. I didn't have a lift

back home so someone offered to take me. After the funeral, he

disappeared. I walked towards the graveyard exit contemplating having

to walk home in the near freezing conditions, while others drove

passed me. One person I know, who was a passenger in a car, signalled

to me to maybe join his car. I panicked as his gesture was unclear and

also he was not the driver, so I pretended that I was in no need of a

lift. I did this knowing that I would have to walk for over an hour to

get home. If I did approach them to get into the car, only to find

that I misunderstood the gesture (very unlikely), I would have

suffered a meltdown. I appraised the situation and concluded that any

other person would of jumped into the car. I instantly thought about

that `AS specialist' and felt like screaming out `this is not normal,

I am obviously not normal'. Luckily another car passed with a much

clearer gesture and so I jumped in.

Kaiden wrote:

>I'm going to write Norm Ledgin and ask his advice on

the subject.

No! I give in. Who???

Anas

At the end of the day, my life couldn't even create a ripple in the

ocean of mankind