Re: Re: Me and my boyfriend have a question

[Guest guest]

No I don't know for sure if she has it or if I do. I'm going to go get tested

but she won't even accept anything is wrong and it really isn't my problem

whether she is or not. Now neither my boyfriend or I am perfect and he is

seeing someone to work out his issues and I will be seeing someone to work out

mine. All I know is we want to be together and despite all the crap that has

happened we keep coming back together. So I was just wondering if anyone else

had similiar experiences and if there was anything they could suggest as maybe a

way to avoid it. I have read all the books and my boyfriend is reading them too

and they have been very helpful and I was hoping maybe some personal experience

would help too.

maryec73 wrote:

There isn't one person here that could definately diagnose you or

anybody else with BPD. That really takes a theropist who's

speciality is in personality disorders. We could probably reconize

borderline in people we have been around for awhile. I would

strongly suggest seeing a theropist that does specialize in

personality disorders, as some do not even believe they exist.

I will say what you are doing is not good. That symptom alone does

not make someone borderline. You sould read some books like " Stop

walking on Eggshells " , Understanding the Borderline Mother " and Get

me out of Here " . The latter is a book by Reiland who recoved

from BPD. It's a good book. Please seek help for whats ever going on

with you. I do have to wonder if you have been so unstable why your

boyfriend stays with you? Please do not say love. Love maybe be able

to move mountains, but it takes a codependent person to stay in a

bad relationship. Sounds like he needs some help too. Good Luck.

>

> Our situation is that my mother most definitely has BPD and I

(being

> raised by her) either have BPD myself or at least have BPD

tendencies.

> I'm in a relationship with a guy who has been absolutely great and

> supportive even though I have put him through hell. In our

> relationship I tend to go through phases or mood swings (whatever

you

> want to call them). One of the phases I go through is I start

> thinking that everything in our relationship is horrible and can't

be

> fixed and that it was always horrible and I start thinking back to

> previous fights and thinking that that is how it all has been all

the

> time. So with this I freak out and leave. I've done this 3 or 4

> times. And we amazingly get back together and things are great.

This

> time around I have recognized that my mom has BPD and that I have

> those same tendencies and I am planning on going to a therapist

after

> I move in with my boyfriend again. We are both concerned that I'm

> going to get into this mode again and end up splitting even though

> that is not what I really want.

>

> Our question is what are some techniques that we could maybe use

when

> I get this way and what are some methods that others have used to

deal

> with the same or similar situations? Is recognizing it now going

to

> help with it or is it something that I'm just always bound to do

> again? My boyfriend and I were thinking of maybe some sort of

signal

> when I get this way. Is that effective or am I already lost by

that

> point? Any help with this would be greatly appreciated.

>

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