Re:Chelle/block and friends

[Guest guest]

,

I'm feeling really down today about my friend next door. I went over there on

Wednesday, because she had just come home from having a c-section and her

husband had to run into work to pick some things up and was gone for about three

hours. She just had major surgery (the c-section) and has 5 kids plus a

newborn, so I didn't figure she would be able to handle that on her own just

yet.

Unfortunately for me, I have to be really careful not to be too pushy with her,

because she had a terrible childhood and a very controlling, crazy mother. She

wants to do everything for herself and is not able to ask anyone to help her,

because when she was growing up, her mother always attached a price tag to

everything she did for her.

She almost pushed me out the door after a couple of hours, and I could tell she

just didn't want me to be there. I'm not taking it personally - I know it's

just the way she is, but it makes me sad that she won't let me help more. I

called and left messages yesterday and today, and kinda backed off a lot, and I

won't call her again this weekend. I'll just wait and see if she calls me back.

I can be really pushy sometimes, and I have a feeling I might have gone too far

trying to help her out, so now I'm really worried that she'll push me away. I

hope that like you, she's not upset with me. I'm afraid she's thinking that I'm

trying to be controlling, even though I'm really not, and that she'll cool the

friendship way down. I hope that doesn't happen, but I'm feeling very sad right

now.

I don't have any other good friends here in our neighborhood, but a lot of nice

acquaintances. I'm supposed to go to a partylite party at one of my other

neighbor's houses tonight, and it will be fun, but it's not like we're calling

each other every day or I'm really good friends with anyone who will be there.

It kind of hurt my feelings last year when I had surgery, and nobody called to

see how I was doing or sent me flowers or made me meals or anything. I try so

hard to be nice to everyone, but like you said, it seems like everyone just has

their own lives and can't be bothered. Everyone is so busy and can't understand

how isolated we are because of our pain issues and everything else.

I'm glad your friend isn't like that. I think we can count ourselves lucky if

we have just one very good friend.

Chelle