Re: holograms,etc. with hair

[Guest guest]

Camille wrote:

>Your brother sounds like a force to be dealt with. What is he doing

>now, generally speaking?

Vocationally, he's a tech writer (a skill that may have grown

out of his being able to write fluent elvish when he was a

teen ager). He went through a long period of getting good

work evaluations and then being fired for his autistic traits

(which he does not recognize at all). Recently, he's had a

" real " job (i.e., not contract work), but a week or so ago he

found out that his job is being " contracted out " as of April.

So he may be unemployed again for a while.

Otherwise...he has been married for many years (about 25, I

think) to a woman he met in England. She had below-zero self-

esteem at the bginning. My brother, when he loves, is 100%

loyal, no question. He can't imagine living without her. At

the same time, he drove her crazy for at least a deade --

without ever meaning to. It just took her that long to learn

how his mind works and to learn how to get him to compromise

where it was most important to her.

They live out in the country (40 miles NE of Seattle) in the

house they built with the money they got when their previous

house burned down (faulty wiring). Their four sons range in age

from 11 to 18 now. My sister-in-law trained as a beautician

in England and got re-certified over here, but she hasn't

worked in that field for about a decade. Mostly, she is a

mother and very active home-maker, figuring out creative ways

to keep them fed and clothed even when my brother can't find

a job for a long stretch.

My brother goes through various perseverations. For a while it

was old pocket watches. Lately it's been an old wind-up

phonograph he got somewhere. He loves to read really old

encyclopedias and other old reference books, the older the

better.

I know very, very little about the kids, because they don't talk

to me and my brother doesn't ever have anything to say about them.

With my brother, he truly doesn't have anything to say unless it

is something that comes from inside himself. If you ask him about

something else, it's like his mind goes blank and finding an

answer takes him a while. Yet he's clearly extremely " intelligent "

by all the usual measures. He's working towards an MA now, hoping

to become more employable, and blowing his class-mates' minds

on a regular basis with how much he knows.

Jane

[Guest guest]

I wrote this for my Livejournal. Since we've been discussing dealing with

others, (be they friends, acquantences, strangers, or clients with or without

hair), and the autistic relationship to " the rest of the world, " I thought I'd

post and fish for feedback. Thanks.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maybe I'm not autistic. Maybe I'm schizotypal or schizoid. The

counterindications are that my personality has been fairly consistant from

childhood onwards. I've always been wierd, withdrawn, not good at dealing with

others, etc.

I'm wondering this, because I transgressed against a norm. Now, I do that all

the damned time. The truly strange thing is that I had only the vaguest idea it

existed, have no idea why it exists, and have have offended another autist

through my transgression.

Whether autistic, schizotypal, or schizoid, my basic statement towards my

individuality is best summed up by an epiphany I had in September of 1999, " I

just realized, I really don't care about other people, and I'm OK with that. " I

know of at least one other person like me in that respect, a mildly retarded

autistic woman (or teenager) named Caitlyn. (No relation, honest). She knows

enough to say, " Oh, that's sad, " when she's expected to, but she really doesn't

care.

I, of course, have some basic levels of caring for others. I'm going to vote for

whomever has the best chance of ousting W. Bush, for instance. I also

oppose Libertarianism as a half-witted political philosophy of selfish assholes.

I may be an insensitive brute, but I'm not an asshole. But, even my stance of

being a Satanic Red is fairly selfish... what's good for the nation is good for

me, even if it helps lots of other people.

I dunno. I care about my not caring. I'm OK with it, but I'm not sure what it

means. I know it's not normal, not really, but in some ways it is. I mean, my

uncle who wants to turn Iraq into a parking lot... just bomb it all and kill

everyone. Meanwhile, I see the Iraqi's as real humans with real human rights,

such as the right not to be bombed to death because of my Uncle's lack of penis

size. (Yeah, his dick may be only 3 " long, but we've got the bomb, so fuck all!)

However, I see them as real human beings whom I'd rather not have to deal with.

Maybe, in a way, I care less then my uncle, because I actually supported

business-as-usual minus sanctions. Sadam, as " bad as he was " to use the cliche,

was a positive, anti-terrorist, progressive force that held Shi'ite fanaticism

at bay.

I'm confused. But, at least it means I get along famously with infintysquared.

He's depersonalized, so while I see others as essentially non-existant, he sees

himself that way. As long as we're sober, it's a perfect balance.

[Guest guest]

Kaiden wrote:

>However, I see them as real human beings whom I'd rather not have to deal

>with.

Me, too. I used to be told I was " masculine " or " like a man "

because I supposedly " loved humanity but hated humans. " I

don't hate humans. I just prefer to limit my contact with them.

If it were entirely up to me, everyone would be healthy and

happy and well-fed. I'm not mean. But I don't want to spend

time with them or have to cater to them by spending my time

in ways that would engage me with them in some/any way.

Come to think of it, I don't " love humanity, " either. There

are other species I find more appealing and much less

annoying (not to mention less devastating).

Jane

[Guest guest]

Good to know that I'm not abnormal, or at least not abnormal in an abnormal

way.