Feeling blue about RA today.

[Guest guest]

Hi gang, I lost my internet for a minute so I am not sure if you got

the first message I sent. I was just feeling blue about the disease

today and thought I would write. I have been missing Tawny since

she is moving and no longer has internet. She was a good buddy who

I met through this site. I have been in a flare since being

diagnosed in November really. Things have not improved much for me

at all. I had to get done working finally at my doctor's

recommendation and my employer's relief as it was putting a huge

strain on them because I was so unpredictable with my reliability to

work. I heard from disability today and they tell me I should have

their decision by the end of next week. I am so scared they are

going to say no. How will we feed our three children? We cannot do

it on my husband's salary alone not with the fuel and gas prices

being what they are here in Maine. Our winters are long and cold.

I have always worked so it is so depressing to me to not be able

to. I know the doctor is right and I need to focus on my battle

with this disease right now and such, but I feel like such a loser

not working and I know if I get denied I will feel even worse about

myself. My son's birthday party is today and I am just letting him

have a friend sleep over. I used to have energy for more, but not

anymore. This will be more than enough for me. My kids have been

very understanding (the little one does not have a clue), but they

miss their old mom and so do I quite frankly. I read your messages

a lot, but don't write in much. If anyone needs a friend, you can

email me at tracierae@... Thanks for your support and I

have been praying for all of you. Tracie