to have or not to have a baby with RA?

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

I have been diagnosed for 1 year. I have three daughters, and would not

consider having another baby because I have been unable to get my disease under

control. But everyone is different, and I would encourage you to speak frankly

with your doctor and even have a second opinion. Everyone's RA effects us in

different ways. I wish you the very best,

Kirsten, MN

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

I have been diagnosed for 1 year. I have three daughters, and would not

consider having another baby because I have been unable to get my disease under

control. But everyone is different, and I would encourage you to speak frankly

with your doctor and even have a second opinion. Everyone's RA effects us in

different ways. I wish you the very best,

Kirsten, MN

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

From: rgkmacias

> I have a 20 month old baby and was

planning on having another, but now that i have RA I don't know.

I worked with a girl who had two children specifically because the only time she

was in remission was when she was pregnant.

Nina

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

From: rgkmacias

> I have a 20 month old baby and was

planning on having another, but now that i have RA I don't know.

I worked with a girl who had two children specifically because the only time she

was in remission was when she was pregnant.

Nina

[Guest guest]

I was also in question about having a baby. I've been thinking about

it

a lot lately. I'm 27 and I don't have any kids, and well, I'm at a

point where I really want a baby. When I first went to my Rheumy

though

he told me because of the medication that I take that getting

pregnant

would not be good. I know this lady who did have a baby and I believe

she went off of her medication for the whole 9 months. She also says

it

was the best time because she was pain free.

>

> ----- Original Message -----

> From: rgkmacias

>

> > I have a 20 month old baby and was

> planning on having another, but now that i have RA I don't know.

>

> I worked with a girl who had two children specifically because the

only time she was in remission was when she was pregnant.

>

> Nina

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I was also in question about having a baby. I've been thinking about

it

a lot lately. I'm 27 and I don't have any kids, and well, I'm at a

point where I really want a baby. When I first went to my Rheumy

though

he told me because of the medication that I take that getting

pregnant

would not be good. I know this lady who did have a baby and I believe

she went off of her medication for the whole 9 months. She also says

it

was the best time because she was pain free.

>

> ----- Original Message -----

> From: rgkmacias

>

> > I have a 20 month old baby and was

> planning on having another, but now that i have RA I don't know.

>

> I worked with a girl who had two children specifically because the

only time she was in remission was when she was pregnant.

>

> Nina

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/29/2005 12:38:35 P.M. Pacific Standard Time,

highestexaulted@... writes:

When I first went to my Rheumy

though

he told me because of the medication that I take that getting

pregnant

would not be good. I know this lady who did have a baby and I believe

she went off of her medication for the whole 9 months. She also says

it

was the best time because she was pain free.

If you don't mind answering, which meds are you are referring to?

Abby

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/29/2005 12:38:35 P.M. Pacific Standard Time,

highestexaulted@... writes:

When I first went to my Rheumy

though

he told me because of the medication that I take that getting

pregnant

would not be good. I know this lady who did have a baby and I believe

she went off of her medication for the whole 9 months. She also says

it

was the best time because she was pain free.

If you don't mind answering, which meds are you are referring to?

Abby

[Guest guest]

My RA/PA was diagnosed after my first child was born, though I'd had

symptoms for years. I had a lot of random joint pain before my pregnancy that

completely disappeared for the full term. It returned with a vengeance when my

son

was 2 months old. Still, I went on to have 3 more children : ) They're now 19,

16, 15 and 11. Three of my four pregnancies offered wonderful, complete

remissions. Unfortunately, my 4th pregnancy was a nightmare.

While it's often been difficult raising 4 children with RA, I wouldn't

change things for the world : ) All my life, I'd wanted a bunch of kids. The

choice was easy for me. I had no doubts that I'd somehow manage to do whatever

needed to be done to provide my children with happy, safe, healthy, balanced

lives. While their lives may be a bit different than some of their friends,

they've never suffered for it. Actually, it's made all of them incredibly

giving,

kind and compassionate towards everyone. It's also allowed me to teach them

independence and responsibility. And, when there were activities that were

physically impossible for me to participate in, I always found something else

fun for

us to do together or I went with them and watched, cheering them on. IMO (and

experience), what counts most with children are the good old 'cliches;' love

and quality time. It never much mattered what we did, as long as were together

and they always knew I was on their side.

It's a tough decision. There's no taking it (a child) back once it's here

: ) You'll need to search the depths of your heart and soul. Try to envision

as many situations, scenarios and 'problems' as you can. Life is all about

change and surprise. And, we can't possibly imagine every scenario. But, we can

prepare for what may come. Then, imagine how you'd deal with things as they come

up. Talk to lots of other moms, too. See what they deal with and how they

deal with it. Would you be able to take things as they're thrown at you; let

them

slide off your back and make the best of whatever happens? Or, would you be

incredibly stressed, overwhelmed and consumed with anxiety? Think of how you

deal with life on life's terms right now. Examine your coping methods, skills

and fears. Think about what kind of person you are and what it's 'worth' to

change your life in the myriad ways children require.

For me, it was a no brainer. Even when it's been hard, I've continued to

get back almost more than my very full heart can bear : ) Having these amazing

children continues to be the most awesome thing I've ever done, even on the

worst of days. But, going into it, I knew how much it meant to me. I knew how

much I'd be willing to tolerate and somehow knew that I'd figure it all out.

Even if it had to be one minute at a time. Often, it's not easy. Always, it's

been worth it : )

After some major soul-searching, a decision still may not come easily to

you. But, at least you'll have more of an idea of what you're facing. You'll

have learned much about yourself. Both of those things will help you in making

your decision. You're still young. You do have some time if you're not ready

to rush into a big decision right now. Take that time. For me, things always

seem to work out in the end...exactly as they're supposed to : )

Good luck to you! Please let us know how it goes.

Patty/NJ

[Guest guest]

My RA/PA was diagnosed after my first child was born, though I'd had

symptoms for years. I had a lot of random joint pain before my pregnancy that

completely disappeared for the full term. It returned with a vengeance when my

son

was 2 months old. Still, I went on to have 3 more children : ) They're now 19,

16, 15 and 11. Three of my four pregnancies offered wonderful, complete

remissions. Unfortunately, my 4th pregnancy was a nightmare.

While it's often been difficult raising 4 children with RA, I wouldn't

change things for the world : ) All my life, I'd wanted a bunch of kids. The

choice was easy for me. I had no doubts that I'd somehow manage to do whatever

needed to be done to provide my children with happy, safe, healthy, balanced

lives. While their lives may be a bit different than some of their friends,

they've never suffered for it. Actually, it's made all of them incredibly

giving,

kind and compassionate towards everyone. It's also allowed me to teach them

independence and responsibility. And, when there were activities that were

physically impossible for me to participate in, I always found something else

fun for

us to do together or I went with them and watched, cheering them on. IMO (and

experience), what counts most with children are the good old 'cliches;' love

and quality time. It never much mattered what we did, as long as were together

and they always knew I was on their side.

It's a tough decision. There's no taking it (a child) back once it's here

: ) You'll need to search the depths of your heart and soul. Try to envision

as many situations, scenarios and 'problems' as you can. Life is all about

change and surprise. And, we can't possibly imagine every scenario. But, we can

prepare for what may come. Then, imagine how you'd deal with things as they come

up. Talk to lots of other moms, too. See what they deal with and how they

deal with it. Would you be able to take things as they're thrown at you; let

them

slide off your back and make the best of whatever happens? Or, would you be

incredibly stressed, overwhelmed and consumed with anxiety? Think of how you

deal with life on life's terms right now. Examine your coping methods, skills

and fears. Think about what kind of person you are and what it's 'worth' to

change your life in the myriad ways children require.

For me, it was a no brainer. Even when it's been hard, I've continued to

get back almost more than my very full heart can bear : ) Having these amazing

children continues to be the most awesome thing I've ever done, even on the

worst of days. But, going into it, I knew how much it meant to me. I knew how

much I'd be willing to tolerate and somehow knew that I'd figure it all out.

Even if it had to be one minute at a time. Often, it's not easy. Always, it's

been worth it : )

After some major soul-searching, a decision still may not come easily to

you. But, at least you'll have more of an idea of what you're facing. You'll

have learned much about yourself. Both of those things will help you in making

your decision. You're still young. You do have some time if you're not ready

to rush into a big decision right now. Take that time. For me, things always

seem to work out in the end...exactly as they're supposed to : )

Good luck to you! Please let us know how it goes.

Patty/NJ

[Guest guest]

,

I had 2 children while having RA. My first pregnancy caused remission,

while my second pregnancy caused me to flare.

Some people can live their life normally with RA meds, while others

don't respond to them. Some members here have had RA for a long time,

and since then new and better meds have been approved. Some people

didn't get diagnosed right away and had a lot of damage before getting

diagnosed and starting meds. Everyone here is different. I hope you

are one that responds right away and has a healthy and active life.

a

On Mar 29, 2005, at 9:14 AM, rgkmacias wrote:

>

>

> Hi out there, I have a few ?' for those of you with RA. I'm 30 and

> have had Ra for 1 year. I've been very fortunate to have no damage

> because I was diagnosed very early. So they have me on Enbrel and

> Metho. I hurt alot of the times like I have the flu but no swelling or

> redness. Anyway here is my ? I have a 20 month old baby and was

> planning on having another, but now that i have RA I don't know. My

> fear is that it will make it worse and I want to stay as healthy as I

> can. I just wanted to talk to someone that has had a child with Ra,and

> see if it made them worse. The other ? is and I know that everyone is

> different, but as with age is it going to get so bad that I hurt and

> become disfigured, even with the new drugs? My rhumy says with new

> meds you can live your life as before but with a little pain, but then

> I get on here and people can't get out of bed, they are having to have

> replacements, ect. sometimes I don't even read the messages because it

> scares me so bad. I just needed to hear from someone who has it. I do

> know that talking about RA with people that have RA is helpful just so

> you know your not alone. Thanks for letting me ramble.

> Thanks REBECCA

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

I had 2 children while having RA. My first pregnancy caused remission,

while my second pregnancy caused me to flare.

Some people can live their life normally with RA meds, while others

don't respond to them. Some members here have had RA for a long time,

and since then new and better meds have been approved. Some people

didn't get diagnosed right away and had a lot of damage before getting

diagnosed and starting meds. Everyone here is different. I hope you

are one that responds right away and has a healthy and active life.

a

On Mar 29, 2005, at 9:14 AM, rgkmacias wrote:

>

>

> Hi out there, I have a few ?' for those of you with RA. I'm 30 and

> have had Ra for 1 year. I've been very fortunate to have no damage

> because I was diagnosed very early. So they have me on Enbrel and

> Metho. I hurt alot of the times like I have the flu but no swelling or

> redness. Anyway here is my ? I have a 20 month old baby and was

> planning on having another, but now that i have RA I don't know. My

> fear is that it will make it worse and I want to stay as healthy as I

> can. I just wanted to talk to someone that has had a child with Ra,and

> see if it made them worse. The other ? is and I know that everyone is

> different, but as with age is it going to get so bad that I hurt and

> become disfigured, even with the new drugs? My rhumy says with new

> meds you can live your life as before but with a little pain, but then

> I get on here and people can't get out of bed, they are having to have

> replacements, ect. sometimes I don't even read the messages because it

> scares me so bad. I just needed to hear from someone who has it. I do

> know that talking about RA with people that have RA is helpful just so

> you know your not alone. Thanks for letting me ramble.

> Thanks REBECCA

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you Patty for writing such an uplifting post with such positive words. My

niece had two whoppers(9lb boys) when she was 22 and again at 26. She was

diagnosed with RA at age 15 and by the time she had the first boy, her hands

were badly crippled as were her feet and knees. We worried how she would ever

manage but she proved to us, there was no need to worry. Her first son is now in

college and second last year of high school. Has she had problems? Oh, yes,

during raising the boys, she has had two operations on her hands and several on

her feet, lots of flares etc. but she tells us all of the pain was worth having

her boys. By the way, she lives in the states and we are not able to help her

very much and her husband does absolutely nothing, but that is another story.

Hugs

June

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