Re: Baby Got Back, a non- weight loss story

[Guest guest]

greeneuropa2 wrote:

> Well I've really done it this time. I'm officially fat. I went into

> Lane and I was able to actually fit into their size 14 pants.

>

>

> I used to be a size 4, 2 years ago.

That is a lot of weight to gain in two years. Do you know what

triggered this?

> At 150, I feel like a heafty, big, coming-at-ya FULL size truck. Like

> the one I have.

150 is fat? I know a female who is 5'4 " or something like that, and 150

lbs, and she does not appear fat to me. When you wrote before that you

were fat, I was thinking FAT... like my former semi-friend acquaintance

who weighed 250 at 5'6 " . She was fat.

I think size 12 is average for an American woman, so 14 is not that

unusual.

> I can walk down the street now and not have to worry about being

> approched for anything.

>

> It would be almost impossible for me to get any kind of a date, and

> no one is going to ask me if I'm gay- they'll just assume I'm too fat

> to get a mate of any kind!!

I am not certain about that. The aforementioned 150-lb woman just got

married not that long ago (to a male that is not white, if that matters).

> It's amazing how I get NO attention now. Men are far more straight

> forward than they were before- they have no interest in me, so

> transactions and what not are more straight forward.

>

> If I try hard enough, I can be the most unattractive woman on the

> planet!!

If you are already getting NO attention, and that is your desire, what

added benefit would being the most unattractive woman hold?

> So I got a personal trainer to help me lose weight WITHOUT losing

> muscle. If I bulk up enough, I still won't get any crap from

> anybody.

Studies have long shown that attractive people are treated better than

unattractive people. People can be pretty shallow... even people with

more attractive names are treated better than those with names perceived

as unattractive. " " is better than " Elmer; " " " is better

than " Edna. " In school, kids that are more attractive, or that have

more attractive names, are perceived as smarter, more capable, and just

better in general. The psychology that causes a teacher to do this does

not, of course, go away when she puts down the chalk and leaves the

classroom.

You may not get hit on as much, but in other things, like when you are

trying to get someone to do something for you, whether it be at the DMV,

at a store where you want to return something without the receipt, or

something like that, you will have better results as an attractive

person. You will tend to be more highly rated at work, given the same

output, if you are attractive. You will be treated more fairly in your

dealings with the police. Not fair, but true anyway.

I say this as someone who is not attractive, and who never has been (I

am talking about things people can tell at first glance, so my sometimes

nasty personality won't be an issue at that point). Not all of it is

related to my actual appearance. Some of it is my clothes, which (in

high school) were anachronistic and terribly out of style, and now are

dull and often considered by many to be inappropriate seasonally. Some

of it is my lack of body language conveying strength and

self-assuredness, which males are supposed to have. Some of it is in my

visibly awkward and somewhat effeminate way of moving. Some of it is in

my lack of eye contact and inattention to people. And now, especially

that I am losing my hair, a lot of it is that I am unattractive in a

physical sense. I would not want to be so attractive that people were

constantly looking at me and wanting to go out with me (as a male, there

is less risk for this), but it would be nice to have the added advantage

in other matters.

Now, I am not so wanting of this that I would make the effort to change

anything. I am me, and this is it. However, if I were suddenly more

attractive one day, I would not be unhappy about that. I really do not

have any idea of what it is like to have people proposition me... that's

never happened in person, really, so I would not know how I would

react. Shock, probably, followed by an intense desire to leave. I

consider it inappropriate to " hit on " anyone when you are not completely

certain that they are receptive to such moves, and so I would be pretty

shocked if anyone hit on me. But again, I am insulated from this, to a

degree, by being male. (The last person to take an interest in me in

person, by the way, was also male... he did not hit on me then, though;

he waited to do it via email.)

> I want to tell all the big women and unattractive women how lucky

> they are to be that way...

That would probably be untrue, because a lot of them are not happy being

that way. They may find the hateful comments or snickers to be very

hurtful. If they are NT, they may want the contact that you express

happiness at not getting.

[Guest guest]

Hi Jeannette,

I have been a 14 for a long time, but I am also tall and so not officially fat.

I have a friend who is quite overweight and once told me that she kind of liked

it (she wasn't always heavy) because she felt like she had a different kind of

" presence " when she entered a room. She's kind of pretty for a 50 year old

woman, but definately obese.

I have another friend who went from a size about 8 to 14 or so, she's not tall,

she's not obese, but she's overweight. She has some mental problems and

told me that she liked gaining weight because men left her alone. She is still

pretty, she was really pretty when she started to gain weight at about 25 years

old.

The second one excercises like a maniac to help with her depression. She

would like to lose the weight now, I think.

The first one would like to lose the weight in theory because her back is not

good and her knees are threatened by the weight.

They say that even an extra 10 pounds increases the likelihood of serious

knee problems developing.

Me, I have a kind of obsession with being thin, I would love to wear size 10

long jeans, I don't think I'd want to be any thinner than that. I looooove

chocolate and sweet stuff in general, so I don't think I'll ever be that size

10,

I'm not bulemic or anorexic, thank goodness.

Men don't hit on me, I don't think they were ever a problem. I like talking

to

men, but they don't seem to hit on me very often, very rarely actually.

Anyway, I hope you can find a happy medium so that you don't have to worry

about health related issues in order to find some peace.

:-)

Camille

-- In AutisticSpectrumTreeHouse , " greeneuropa2 " <

szo701@m...> wrote:

> Hi All,

>

> Well I've really done it this time. I'm officially fat. I went

> into Lane and I was able to actually fit into their size 14

> pants.

>

> I used to be a size 4, 2 years ago.

>

> At 150, I feel like a heafty, big, coming-at-ya FULL size truck.

> Like the one I have.

>

> I actually want to be fat in many ways.

>

> Did you know that as well as gaining fat, you also gain muscle when

> you gain weight?

>

> I'm only 33.6% body fat, which means, after calculating with the

> body fat percentages of past and present, I've gained 10 lbs of

> muscule!!

>

> It makes a huge difference to have that extra muscle. I can now

> lift 80 lbs.

>

> That means more independence- I like doing physical work, and that's

> how the yard looks decent now.

>

> Part of me doesn't like the extra weight- it's starting to get

> uncomfortable, so I need to stop it.

>

> I think the fat acts like a protector, padding against the world,

> and I'm physically stronger.

>

> The best part of all is that no one wants to get near me.

>

> The only men that even look at me anymore are the ethnic groups-

> mexican, arabian, african- all dark men. For some reason they still

> try to hit on me, but not nearly as much as they used to- their

> culture is different than the skinny-minny USA idea of beauty.

>

> I can walk down the street now and not have to worry about being

> approched for anything.

>

> It would be almost impossible for me to get any kind of a date, and

> no one is going to ask me if I'm gay- they'll just assume I'm too

> fat to get a mate of any kind!!

>

> It's amazing how I get NO attention now. Men are far more straight

> forward than they were before- they have no interest in me, so

> transactions and what not are more straight forward.

>

> None of this bullshit of telling chronic lies, putting down their

> wives and girlfriends in front of me, trying to impress me and

> getting me to fall for their " tricks " , which never works anyway, at

> which point I either have to pretend I have a husband or go through

> their bullshit of " How dare you not think I am god, woman? You must

> be gay! " crap.

>

> If I try hard enough, I can be the most unattractive woman on the

> planet!!

>

> Men will run out of my way as I walk down the street for fear they

> may turn to stone, or be hit with my " Mt. Rainer " pyroclast vibe!

>

> I can't stay this way, unfortunately. My sleep apnea is going to

> get worse, back problems, etc. The health risks are too high.

>

> (I wish I had a " fat suit " that I could wear. Maybe I'll just get

> bulky clothing, and put a bag over my head.)

>

> So I got a personal trainer to help me lose weight WITHOUT losing

> muscle. If I bulk up enough, I still won't get any crap from

> anybody.

>

> I want to tell all the big women and unattractive women how lucky

> they are to be that way...

>

> Jeanette

[Guest guest]

> > At 150, I feel like a heafty, big, coming-at-ya FULL size truck. Like

> > the one I have.

> 150 is fat? I know a female who is 5'4 " or something like that, and 150

> lbs, and she does not appear fat to me. When you wrote before that you

> were fat, I was thinking FAT... like my former semi-friend acquaintance

> who weighed 250 at 5'6 " . She was fat.

> I think size 12 is average for an American woman, so 14 is not that

> unusual.

Definitely isn't unusual.

For reference, I'm 5 feet 2 inches, somewhere between 170 and 180 pounds, and

considered medically (by whichever doctor last bothered to tell me, which was I

think the guy who decided to weigh me rather than examine me when I came in with

a serious health problem he of course didn't find) to be *mildly* obese.

Although my *mother* was pushing me to lose weight even when I weighed between

120 and 150 (I think there's a real problem with women being expected to be

unrealistically small -- I refuse to do anything beyond eat sensibly and try to

live a healthy lifestyle because I watched my mother yoyo-diet a lot of my life

and it wasn't cool).

And the *smallest* size I've ever fit into in adulthood -- including when I was

dangerously underweight and bony from continued lack of nutrition -- was a 10 or

*maybe* (if I wanted to be really uncomfortable) an 8 in women's sizes. I have

no clue what size I am now, mainly because I wear oversized clothing for comfort

reasons and haven't bought women's clothing in awhile because it fits weird, but

I know I'm larger than a 14. I was a 14 when I was at my prior " normal " size.

(And no wonder I don't deal well with women's clothing -- I just attempted to

fit

myself with a sizing chart and came up with measurements that put me anywhere

between an 18 and a 22 depending on where you measured me. Is this stuff

supposed to fit *anyone* female?)

This isn't the sort of thing I'd obsess over, at any rate.

[Guest guest]

wrote:

>You may not get hit on as much, but in other things, like when you are

>trying to get someone to do something for you, whether it be at the DMV,

>at a store where you want to return something without the receipt, or

>something like that, you will have better results as an attractive

>person. You will tend to be more highly rated at work, given the same

>output, if you are attractive. You will be treated more fairly in your

>dealings with the police. Not fair, but true anyway.

I have seen studies showing that people perceived as

physically unattractive are judged more severely by

juries and given longer sentences by judges. Other

factors (e.g., perceived " race " and class) being

equal, of course.

Jane

[Guest guest]

wrote:

> You may not get hit on as much, but in other things, like when you are

> trying to get someone to do something for you, whether it be at the DMV,

> at a store where you want to return something without the receipt, or

> something like that, you will have better results as an attractive

> person. You will tend to be more highly rated at work, given the same

> output, if you are attractive. You will be treated more fairly in your

> dealings with the police. Not fair, but true anyway.

I think smiling does a lot for me in this regard. People rave about my

smile. I don't know what is so great about it, but people really react

positively to it. However, if I am in a bad mood and don't smile, people

tend to cross the street to avoid me. I'm told I just look so intense or

pissed off when I don't smile.

Take care,

Gail :-)