Guest guest Posted July 6, 2004 Report Share Posted July 6, 2004 You are correct. One of our greatest attributes is the ability to learn. Re: Quick fix therapy > Anas wrote: > > > > He is helping me to control my stress and social skills etc. > > > > This councelor asked me to imagine > > > > I am not sure this man can help me. He is treating me like an NT. From > > where I am standing, if I haven't been able to learn what to say after > > 36 years, how can I learn now. > > So I was wondering does anyone think that it is possible for me to > > devolop these social skills or am I wasting my time with him. > > > Yes it is possible but only if you believe in it. I started my personal > growth journey after I was 40. It is definitely harder as you get older > and many times harder with AS but it can happen. The other option but I > don't accept as viable is to go with what some on this list claim, that > they are perfect the way they are and nothing needs fixing. That it is > the rest of the world that needs fixing. > > Many things we will never learn but if we concentrate on those things > that matter most we can manage to blend in better. Many times it will > mean thinking about and studying something that for others comes as > instinct. I think the place to start is simply to recognize those areas > where others go by instinct and you don't have any clue. Accept that and > study it. Practice. One of the greatest features many of us has is the > ability to focus on one specific project to where we know it better than > anyone else. If we can harness that power to learn the instincts we are > missing then we would become the expert. > > Yes this is a simplistic approach but it could work. > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2004 Report Share Posted July 7, 2004 rote; >My father died recently and people >talked a right load of old nonsense. >I think the best thing to say is 'that's >terribly sad- if there's anything at all I can do to help, >please let me know'. That would be good, >because it's about practical solutions. Most of the time I will think that any answer I give is also a 'right load of old nonsense' unless I really feel moved by the situation. So if I speak it will look or sound insincere. I do think that a correct dx would give me and others better guidance on how to address me. I don't wish to try hard in 'blending in' as another member also stated that such a move will also contribute to stress and the main reason for me seeing a councelor is to reduce my stress. In hindsight I don't think it is important for me to learn 'the rules' as playing by the rules is stressful in itself. If he recognised my AS qualities fully, he wouldn't be wishing to take me up such fruitless avenues. (streets, wherein the trees fail to blossom <g>) Anas acsnag wrote: >Many things we will never learn but if we concentrate on those things >that matter most we can manage to blend in better. Thats fine, as long as my councelor recognises that. > > > > > > > He is helping me to control my stress and social skills etc. > > > > > > This councelor asked me to imagine > > > > > > I am not sure this man can help me. He is treating me like an NT. From > > > where I am standing, if I haven't been able to learn what to say after > > > 36 years, how can I learn now. > > > So I was wondering does anyone think that it is possible for me to > > > devolop these social skills or am I wasting my time with him. > > > > > > Yes it is possible but only if you believe in it. I started my personal > > growth journey after I was 40. It is definitely harder as you get older > > and many times harder with AS but it can happen. The other option but I > > don't accept as viable is to go with what some on this list claim, that > > they are perfect the way they are and nothing needs fixing. That it is > > the rest of the world that needs fixing. > > > > Many things we will never learn but if we concentrate on those things > > that matter most we can manage to blend in better. Many times it will > > mean thinking about and studying something that for others comes as > > instinct. I think the place to start is simply to recognize those areas > > where others go by instinct and you don't have any clue. Accept that and > > study it. Practice. One of the greatest features many of us has is the > > ability to focus on one specific project to where we know it better than > > anyone else. If we can harness that power to learn the instincts we are > > missing then we would become the expert. > > > > Yes this is a simplistic approach but it could work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 11, 2004 Report Share Posted July 11, 2004 acsnag@... wrote: > Anas wrote: > >>He is helping me to control my stress and social skills etc. >> >>This councelor asked me to imagine >> >>I am not sure this man can help me. He is treating me like an NT. From >>where I am standing, if I haven't been able to learn what to say after >>36 years, how can I learn now. >>So I was wondering does anyone think that it is possible for me to >>devolop these social skills or am I wasting my time with him. > > Yes it is possible but only if you believe in it. I started my personal > growth journey after I was 40. It is definitely harder as you get older > and many times harder with AS but it can happen. The other option but I > don't accept as viable is to go with what some on this list claim, that > they are perfect the way they are and nothing needs fixing. That it is > the rest of the world that needs fixing. > > Many things we will never learn but if we concentrate on those things > that matter most we can manage to blend in better. Many times it will > mean thinking about and studying something that for others comes as > instinct. I think the place to start is simply to recognize those areas > where others go by instinct and you don't have any clue. Accept that and > study it. Practice. One of the greatest features many of us has is the > ability to focus on one specific project to where we know it better than > anyone else. If we can harness that power to learn the instincts we are > missing then we would become the expert. > > Yes this is a simplistic approach but it could work. Maybe just trying to learn a few basic things at time can help. I have currently been spending the past almost two years learning to let the other person talk half the time, take turns talking, and try not to interrupt. It's been challenging. I have to constantly remind myself and I often forget. Email is easier! -- the Dreamer, alien from planet Asperger http://www.visi.com/~unique Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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