Re: RE: Conference morons.....

[Guest guest]

Gerald Newport wrote:

> At least will be there along with some of my other local peers.

> Fortunately, we have a major part of today's program being done by

> people on the spectrum.

Actually, I did not go to this one.

[Guest guest]

Klein wrote:

> Gerald Newport wrote:

>

> > At least will be there along with some of my other local

> > peers. Fortunately, we have a major part of today's program being

> > done by people on the spectrum.

>

> Actually, I did not go to this one.

I would like to elaborate on that.

Ever since I wrote that message stating that it was about time for my

perseveration to change, and that I expected my autism interest to go

the way that all the others have over the yeats, I realized that this is

beginning to happen already. When people post links to autism-related

papers, I rarely read them. I stopped attending the autistic adult

meetings. I don't read autism books anymore. The rate at which I write

articles for my site has dropped off steeply. In short, this list (and

AutAdvo) is/are the only autism-related thing I do with any regularity

anymore. I wonder if the only thing that is keeping autism from being

another forgotten perseveration now is that I do not have a new interest

to replace it.

I don't want this to happen. I think that I have something to offer the

autistic community, and it would be a shame if I lost that. I had hoped

that this perseveration would stick, or at least turn into a regular

NT-style interest, after the perseverative period ended, since it was so

personal, and since my participation can make more of a difference in

terms of improving the lives of others more than my perseveration in

Volkswagens or Mustangs.

As such, I am kind of on autism vacation now. Not entirely, because I

am still here, but for the most part, it is accurate. I would have

liked to participate in the conference... I certainly would like to see

Temple Grandin speak, but when the email about the conference went out

to the members of the Phoenix group, I did not even read it. When my

friend said that she was going to participate, I didn't really consider

it even then, nor did I really think about attending. When she left for

the conference, I was surprised, because I did not know it started

today. There was some block preventing me from thinking about

attending. I wasn't really in a place where I could consider it,

whether as a participant or a guest. Even if I was not then consciously

aware of my " autism vacation, " I guess I knew at some level that I was

running out of gas.

So, I'll just take it easy for a while, and return to full-power when I

can. Perhaps this will prevent the loss of the interest entirely. It

seems odd that I would be burned out, given that I really have not done

that much externally... but even though I did not do as much as others

may have with regard to autism advocacy, I did expend a lot of CPU

cycles (brain power) on it.

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I can totally understand what you are feeling. And I hope it goes as

you hope, that the former autism perseveration can become a low

simmering interest at the least. I hit an autism-topic burnout in

December and almost decided to dump it altogether, but here I am.

Anyway, as for me, I will just hope that you can stick with what your

website, etc, on some level or that we get a clone of you to take

over.

Camille

> >

> > > At least will be there along with some of my other local

> > > peers. Fortunately, we have a major part of today's program

being

> > > done by people on the spectrum.

> >

> > Actually, I did not go to this one.

>

> I would like to elaborate on that.

>

> Ever since I wrote that message stating that it was about time for

my

> perseveration to change, and that I expected my autism interest to

go

> the way that all the others have over the yeats, I realized that

this is

> beginning to happen already. When people post links to autism-

related

> papers, I rarely read them. I stopped attending the autistic adult

> meetings. I don't read autism books anymore. The rate at which I

write

> articles for my site has dropped off steeply. In short, this list

(and

> AutAdvo) is/are the only autism-related thing I do with any

regularity

> anymore. I wonder if the only thing that is keeping autism from

being

> another forgotten perseveration now is that I do not have a new

interest

> to replace it.

>

> I don't want this to happen. I think that I have something to

offer the

> autistic community, and it would be a shame if I lost that. I had

hoped

> that this perseveration would stick, or at least turn into a

regular

> NT-style interest, after the perseverative period ended, since it

was so

> personal, and since my participation can make more of a difference

in

> terms of improving the lives of others more than my perseveration

in

> Volkswagens or Mustangs.

>

> As such, I am kind of on autism vacation now. Not entirely,

because I

> am still here, but for the most part, it is accurate. I would have

> liked to participate in the conference... I certainly would like to

see

> Temple Grandin speak, but when the email about the conference went

out

> to the members of the Phoenix group, I did not even read it. When

my

> friend said that she was going to participate, I didn't really

consider

> it even then, nor did I really think about attending. When she

left for

> the conference, I was surprised, because I did not know it started

> today. There was some block preventing me from thinking about

> attending. I wasn't really in a place where I could consider it,

> whether as a participant or a guest. Even if I was not then

consciously

> aware of my " autism vacation, " I guess I knew at some level that I

was

> running out of gas.

>

> So, I'll just take it easy for a while, and return to full-power

when I

> can. Perhaps this will prevent the loss of the interest entirely.

It

> seems odd that I would be burned out, given that I really have not

done

> that much externally... but even though I did not do as much as

others

> may have with regard to autism advocacy, I did expend a lot of CPU

> cycles (brain power) on it.

>

>

[Guest guest]

This message from Klein arched across the cosmos:

>So, I'll just take it easy for a while, and return to full-power when I

>can. Perhaps this will prevent the loss of the interest entirely. It

>seems odd that I would be burned out, given that I really have not done

>that much externally... but even though I did not do as much as others

>may have with regard to autism advocacy, I did expend a lot of CPU

>cycles (brain power) on it.

The situation, from what you've said, sounds more like it's the other way

around, and a lot like what I've been going through (and have been through

repeatedly in the past).

You've been writing less abstractly than you used to, and talking more of

things you are actively doing. The incident with the blood bank, plus the

past few months of helping another autistic IRL -- sharing your home,

dealing with the SSA system, and everything else I can't think of -- that

might be either draining your perseverative energy or simply redirecting

it. Same basic perseverative subject, but moderately different presentation.

I know that the more energy I spend helping somebody learn about or deal

with the realities of autism on a " personal " level (like Parrish, a new

friend, a doctor, etc) over an extended period of time, even if it's done

via email, the less I then have for reading/writing in a more

abstract/autobiographical fashion. I eventually reach a point where I just

can't make myself read incoming mail on the topic, like I've hit my max

saturation level and simply *can't* do more in that regard. In fact, I'll

at some level stop being able to respond to all mail entirely, and then

after that stop being able to read anything new for a while as well. When

the focus on personal interaction lessens, over a period of days or weeks

my drive towards the writing/reading type of participation returns.

DeGraf ~*~ http://www.sonic.net/mustang/moggy