Re: My Dad

[Guest guest]

Hi Windy,I wonder if estrogen patches might be an idea. They help lower the effect of testosterone, and for me and others can help counter fatigue. Better some homones in the body than none, as the saying goes. I'm 54 with widespread bone cancer mets and I'm on the equivalent of Lupron and I recently added the estrogen. That plus taking more exercise has led to a lot less fatigue and getting some of my muddled brain back. It can also help counter oesteroporosis (I also take a lot of Vit D and some Calcium). The side effects are just tender nipples and perhaps overtime some breast enlargement, but I havn't had much trouble in that department yet, and one can always have a break from taking them.Best regardsWill Hi All. i am writing on behalf of my father who is 84 years old. He had his prostate removed about 10 years ago. He was fine for about 5 to 6 years then his PSA started climbing so they gave hin shots of Lupron. Unfortunately if totally sapped all of his vitality and he has been getting various infections not related to the prostate since then. Anyway his doctor now suspects bone cancer and he will be getting a scan to see if he actually has it.If it turns out he has it they want to give him more Lupron. I am just concerned that what little energy he has left will be taken away. The doctor went onto great detail about how horrible death from bone cancer can be so I think he will probably go for the shot.My questions are:Considering his age is this the best thing to do?Are there any other drugs out there that have less side effects? (fatigue, etc.)I had always heard that at that age you will usually pass from something else since in your 80s the cancer grows so slowly.Anybody have any thoughts on this?Are there any good web pages that explain options in detail?ThanksWindy

[Guest guest]

I'm 54 with widespread bone cancer mets and I'm on the equivalent of Lupron and I recently added the estrogen. That plus taking more exercise has led to a lot less fatigue and getting some of my muddled brain back. It can also help counter oesteroporosis (I also take a lot of Vit D and some Calcium)

Hi Will,

Thanks for responding. I am so sorry to hear you have the bone mets. It sounds like you are doing okay on the equivalent of Lupron. That is great. Since you are the only one that responded and looking at your age and others post, it looks like there aren't many senoirs on this email list. My Dad was just really taken down by the Lupron. He was very active and healthy too besides the PC, but now he is just getting one thing after another. At 84 he just can;t afford to lose any more energy, but of course I don't want the BC to get the best of him either (if he has It). I will tell him about the estrogen and see what his doctor says. I just hope to get more info on this.

Thanks again,

Windy

[Guest guest]

Good luck - the estrogen patches make a lot of sense to me ... Dr Myers is keen on them as are others.BestWillI'm 54 with widespread bone cancer mets and I'm on the equivalent of Lupron and I recently added the estrogen. That plus taking more exercise has led to a lot less fatigue and getting some of my muddled brain back. It can also help counter oesteroporosis (I also take a lot of Vit D and some Calcium)Hi Will,Thanks for responding. I am so sorry to hear you have the bone mets. It sounds like you are doing okay on the equivalent of Lupron. That is great. Since you are the only one that responded and looking at your age and others post, it looks like there aren't many senoirs on this email list. My Dad was just really taken down by the Lupron. He was very active and healthy too besides the PC, but now  he is just getting one thing after another. At 84 he just can;t afford to lose any more energy, but of course I don't want the BC to get the best of him either (if he has It). I will tell him about the estrogen and see what his doctor says. I just hope to get more info on this.Thanks again,Windy

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I’m sorry to say I don’t

recall reading any of your previous posts, so am a bit kin the dark as to your

father’s position. I gather from what you say that he must have had ADT

(Androgen Deprivation Therapy) and that this has now failed – would that

be right?

There are Mailing Lists

where the focus is on advanced prostate cancer and hormone therapies and I know

that the men on those sites will help you all they can. You might join http://www.prostatepointers.org/mailman/listinfo/chb

a List where men discuss hormone blockade options and http://www.groups.prostate-help.org/grsubsc.htm where you will see that there is a specific List

for men with Advanced Disease. The PPML List, although a general one, also has

a number of members with advanced PCa who may be able to help you – you can

join that at http://listserv.acor.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ACOR.EXE?SUBED1=prostate & A=1

Below are some links for

men with advanced disease you might find helpful

http://prostate-cancer.org/resource/advancedprostatecancerhandbook.html

This is an excellent handbook that you can order free of charge entitled Living with Advanced Prostate Cancer

When PSA Rises During Hormone Therapy

http://www.ustoo.com/Experienced_Relapse.asp

One of the US-TOO sites with excellent advice on pain management

http://patient.cancerconsultants.com/prostate_cancer_news.aspx?id=32365

Details of a chemotherapy treatment with Taxotere that has proved a useful

management tool

All the best,

Terry

Herbert in Melbourne, Australia

Diagnosed ‘96: Age

54: Stage T2b: PSA 7.2: Gleason 3+3=6: No treatment. August '06 PSA 27.4

My site is at www.yananow.net

As a

physician, I am painfully aware that most of the decisions we make with regard

to prostate cancer are made with inadequate data: Dr

“Snuffy” Myers.

From: ProstateCancerSupport

[mailto:ProstateCancerSupport ]

On Behalf Of pebblejean@...

Sent: 10 October 2006 10:42 AM

To:

prostatecancersupport

Subject: My dad

My dad

was in th hospital for a week with back pain a little over two weeks ago. The

x-rays finally came back and then finally the MRI it was just a muscle strain

and we sighed with relief afraid that it was something with his cancer. Last

week we went to his oncologist. He was the Doctor over him in the hospital

because they transfered him to a better hospital. Anyway he told us that they

DID do a PSA in the hospital. It was 15 now. It was 7 just about 2 months or

less ago. So he has told us that it is deffinaly HRPC like he had thought last

time. He diabetes is out of wack due to the steroids. He is going to have to go

to insulin now because of the steroids he's going to have to go on with the

strong chemo. He's afraid, I'm afraid, This issomething we expected but didn'

at the same time. He's still young and doesn't have grandchildren yet. I'm his

only child and he's divorced. I'm doing my best to be strong but it sure isn't

easy. I could use all the advice you could give this nice sweet lurker

Thanks

[Guest guest]

Hi group, I just joined this group to find out some info on what to expect

from my dads surgery on Oct. 13th. My 18 year old sister, my 7 year old

daughter, and I are all my dad has. He was told he had prostate cancer in

May I think. We decided to take the route of surgery to remove it. However

when he is recovering he will be staying with me so I can try to take care

of him. Unfortunately I have not been to all of his appointments with him.

He had had a girlfriend going with him who just recently left him. Since she

was going to be his caregiver during recovery she knows all the things to

expect and what he will be needing as far as care. Now that she is no longer

in the picture I am picking up where she left off. However my dad is not

real informative about all the things discussed in his appointments. You see

I am only 25 and he still looks at me like I am his child, and doesn't want

to worry or bother me with details. I have made him tell the doctors that

they are to tell me anything I need to know since I am the only one he

really has to depend on. The thing is I work 2 jobs and live with just my

daughter. I know I will talk to the doctors tons while he is in the hospital

to find out what he needs when I take him home. I am just looking for a

little heads up on if I need to prepare for more care than I will be able to

offer him. My sister will be staying with me on her days off Mon. and thurs.

So I know he will be ok on those days. Other than that I will leave my house

at 9:00am and will not be home until almost 6:00pm. I am having my daughter

come home after school at 4:00pm instead of going to her daycare so that she

can call me if something is wrong with him. She will also be able to make

him food and drinks if he needs them, but that is about all she can do. I

then work my second job wed. and sat. nights from 7pm to about 2am. My

concerns are how well will he be able to function on his own?? I know he

will be on a catheter and wearing depends. Will he be able to change those

things himself or will I need to?? Do I need to find someone else to be with

him during the day?? If so do they need to be there all day or can they just

come check on him?? He also is a very heavy smoker and drinker. He was told

to quit of coarse, but if he couldn't to at least slow down. So his approach

was going from 3 packs a day to 1 1/2 packs a day, and instead of drinking

nonstop from the time he gets home from work until he passes out to just

drinking maybe a handful of drinks, but still everyday. My father has

several health issues as I am sure you noticed they are mostly self

inflicted. My other issue though is he thinks as soon as he gets out of the

hospital he will be going right back to his old ways. Since he will be in my

care and will not be able to access that stuff himself how should I approach

that. I mean I have heard if you go from doing those things as much as he

does to stopping cold turkey it can actually effect your body in a worse way

than helping it. With him already going through the surgery and recovery I

don't want to make things worse by cutting him off completely, but I don't

want to just give him what he wants if it will hurt his recovery more. Any

suggestions??

As you all can see I am extremely stressed, confused and could use a little

advice. Thanks for taking the time to read my story. If nothing else I just

really needed to get it out of my head to some people who may have been

where I am now!!

Thank you,

Jess

_________________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

Folks who drink lots of alcohol generally heal very slowly and poorly. You

need to tell his physician about his drinking habits before surgery. It is

possible he could go into withdrawal while in post op. It is also possible

he will react in unexpected ways to both the aesthetic and/or any subsequent

pain meds. It is also possible that he has poor liver function, clots very

slowly, and other risky conditions for someone going into surgery.. The doc

really needs to be aware of this before surgery for your dad's safety.

FYI. Low risk drinking (there is no no risk drinking) for men is defined as

no more than two drinks a day for not more than six days a week. A drink

here means a standard drink (one can of bear, one glass of wine, one shot of

hard liquor). Fifteen or more standard drinks a week is considered high

risk drinking.

It is possible the doc may want to place your dad in detox after surgery.

Ask about this. I seriously doubt anyone will be able to control his

drinking once he is home.

Hope this helps. I worked in addictions for nearly 30 years.

Peace,

K'sitew

Re: My dad

> Hi group, I just joined this group to find out some info on what to expect

> from my dads surgery on Oct. 13th. My 18 year old sister, my 7 year old

> daughter, and I are all my dad has. He was told he had prostate cancer in

> May I think. We decided to take the route of surgery to remove it. However

> when he is recovering he will be staying with me so I can try to take care

> of him. Unfortunately I have not been to all of his appointments with him.

> He had had a girlfriend going with him who just recently left him. Since

> she

> was going to be his caregiver during recovery she knows all the things to

> expect and what he will be needing as far as care. Now that she is no

> longer

> in the picture I am picking up where she left off. However my dad is not

> real informative about all the things discussed in his appointments. You

> see

> I am only 25 and he still looks at me like I am his child, and doesn't

> want

> to worry or bother me with details. I have made him tell the doctors that

> they are to tell me anything I need to know since I am the only one he

> really has to depend on. The thing is I work 2 jobs and live with just my

> daughter. I know I will talk to the doctors tons while he is in the

> hospital

> to find out what he needs when I take him home. I am just looking for a

> little heads up on if I need to prepare for more care than I will be able

> to

> offer him. My sister will be staying with me on her days off Mon. and

> thurs.

> So I know he will be ok on those days. Other than that I will leave my

> house

> at 9:00am and will not be home until almost 6:00pm. I am having my

> daughter

> come home after school at 4:00pm instead of going to her daycare so that

> she

> can call me if something is wrong with him. She will also be able to make

> him food and drinks if he needs them, but that is about all she can do. I

> then work my second job wed. and sat. nights from 7pm to about 2am. My

> concerns are how well will he be able to function on his own?? I know he

> will be on a catheter and wearing depends. Will he be able to change those

> things himself or will I need to?? Do I need to find someone else to be

> with

> him during the day?? If so do they need to be there all day or can they

> just

> come check on him?? He also is a very heavy smoker and drinker. He was

> told

> to quit of coarse, but if he couldn't to at least slow down. So his

> approach

> was going from 3 packs a day to 1 1/2 packs a day, and instead of drinking

> nonstop from the time he gets home from work until he passes out to just

> drinking maybe a handful of drinks, but still everyday. My father has

> several health issues as I am sure you noticed they are mostly self

> inflicted. My other issue though is he thinks as soon as he gets out of

> the

> hospital he will be going right back to his old ways. Since he will be in

> my

> care and will not be able to access that stuff himself how should I

> approach

> that. I mean I have heard if you go from doing those things as much as he

> does to stopping cold turkey it can actually effect your body in a worse

> way

> than helping it. With him already going through the surgery and recovery I

> don't want to make things worse by cutting him off completely, but I don't

> want to just give him what he wants if it will hurt his recovery more. Any

> suggestions??

>

> As you all can see I am extremely stressed, confused and could use a

> little

> advice. Thanks for taking the time to read my story. If nothing else I

> just

> really needed to get it out of my head to some people who may have been

> where I am now!!

>

> Thank you,

> Jess

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> Express yourself - download free Windows Live Messenger themes!

>

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>

>

>

> There are just two rules for this group

> 1 No Spam

> 2 Be kind to others

>

> Please recognise that Prostate Cancerhas different guises and needs

> different levels of treatment and in some cases no treatment at all. Some

> men even with all options offered chose radical options that you would not

> choose. We only ask that people be informed before choice is made, we

> cannot and should not tell other members what to do, other than look at

> other options.

>

> Try to delete old material that is no longer applying when clicking reply

> Try to change the title if the content requires it

>

[Guest guest]

Jess, First I feel compelled to comment one one important factor in your father's recovery. You. I am impressed by your levelheaded appraisal of your situation. You are facing a difficult situation but you are approaching it well by seeking information in this group. I am probably your father's age being 55 myself. I have prostate cancer and found out about it in very early June. I have yet to be treated so I cannot offer much advice as to what to expect as regards care

after surgery. Still I have a few suggestions that I hope may serve you well and I hope you take them into consideration. You are very honest and forthright about your father's drinking and smoking. I will assume these are likely to be more difficult things to deal with than the surgery itself. Here is why: After surgery your father will probably have medication which may make him drowsy or less alert. If he should drink while on these medicines the effects of alcohol will be compounded. Added to this is the smoking. Added all up my worry is less for him than those around him for this reason.... Suppose he should have a drink while on the medicine. He will likely be on a couch, living room chair, or in bed. One can easily fall asleep under these conditions.. If he should be smoking if or when this happens there could easily be a fire. Would your 7 yr old daughter be able to

resist bringing him a drink or his cigarettes while you are away? I suggest you have no cigarettes, alcohol or matches in the house if your daughter is alone with him. I do not mean merely hidden or locked away but NONE in the house or available at all. I can see you love your dad and are thoughtful about what you must do . I do not wish to stress you but I think you may benefit by making sure you have done all you can to keep everyone safe. It will speed your father's recovery as well. You seem like a very good daughter, I wish you well. Jeff Gillaspie wrote: Hi group, I just joined this group to find out some info on what to expect from my dads surgery on Oct. 13th. My 18 year old sister, my 7 year old daughter, and I are all my dad has. He was told he had prostate cancer in May I think. We decided to take the route of surgery to remove it. However when he is recovering he will be staying with me so I can try to take care of him. Unfortunately I have not been to all of his appointments with him. He had had a girlfriend going with him who just recently left him. Since she was going to be his caregiver during recovery she knows all the things to expect and what he will be needing as far as care. Now that she is no longer in the picture I am picking up where she left off. However my dad is not real informative about all the things

discussed in his appointments. You see I am only 25 and he still looks at me like I am his child, and doesn't want to worry or bother me with details. I have made him tell the doctors that they are to tell me anything I need to know since I am the only one he really has to depend on. The thing is I work 2 jobs and live with just my daughter. I know I will talk to the doctors tons while he is in the hospital to find out what he needs when I take him home. I am just looking for a little heads up on if I need to prepare for more care than I will be able to offer him. My sister will be staying with me on her days off Mon. and thurs. So I know he will be ok on those days. Other than that I will leave my house at 9:00am and will not be home until almost 6:00pm. I am having my daughter come home after school at 4:00pm instead of going to her daycare so that she can call me if something is wrong with him. She will also be able to

make him food and drinks if he needs them, but that is about all she can do. I then work my second job wed. and sat. nights from 7pm to about 2am. My concerns are how well will he be able to function on his own?? I know he will be on a catheter and wearing depends. Will he be able to change those things himself or will I need to?? Do I need to find someone else to be with him during the day?? If so do they need to be there all day or can they just come check on him?? He also is a very heavy smoker and drinker. He was told to quit of coarse, but if he couldn't to at least slow down. So his approach was going from 3 packs a day to 1 1/2 packs a day, and instead of drinking nonstop from the time he gets home from work until he passes out to just drinking maybe a handful of drinks, but still everyday. My father has several health issues as I am sure you noticed they are mostly self inflicted. My other issue though is he

thinks as soon as he gets out of the hospital he will be going right back to his old ways. Since he will be in my care and will not be able to access that stuff himself how should I approach that. I mean I have heard if you go from doing those things as much as he does to stopping cold turkey it can actually effect your body in a worse way than helping it. With him already going through the surgery and recovery I don't want to make things worse by cutting him off completely, but I don't want to just give him what he wants if it will hurt his recovery more. Any suggestions??As you all can see I am extremely stressed, confused and could use a little advice. Thanks for taking the time to read my story. If nothing else I just really needed to get it out of my head to some people who may have been where I am now!!Thank

you,Jess__________________________________________________________Express yourself - download free Windows Live Messenger themes! http://clk.atdmt.com/MSN/go/msnnkwme0020000001msn/direct/01/?href=http://imagine-msn.com/themes/vibe/default.aspx?locale=en-us & source=hmtagline __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi Jeff and Jess,

You offered some good advice about drinking and smoking. I

know how hard it is to stop smoking. I truly believe it is as hard

to stop as if it were heroin. But it can be done.

I hope the two of you have done lots of research before you

decide on your treatments. There are several options which I

believe are better than surgery. I had surgery in 1992 when we

did not have as many options as today. Removal of the prostate

may change your life forever. If I had it to do over I would choose

brachytherapy, or if possible the new High Intensity Focused

Ultrasound (HIFU).

For many years, women who were diagnosed with breast

cancer had radical mastectomies or removal of the entire

breast. Now most women have simple lumpectomies so

that much of the breast is preserved. I believe that

brachytherapy can be similar to a lumpectomy. The

radiation will disrupt the DNA of the cancer cells and

even many of the normal cells. Most of the normal cells

will be able to recover, but the cancer cells do not have

the ability to repair the damage. This the whole reason

for radiation.

It is your body and your responsibility to make the treatment

decision. It should be a well informed decision because it is

something you will have to live with the rest of your life.

I wish you all the bestAubrey Pilgrim, DC (Ret.) Author ofA Revolutionary Approach to Prostate Cancer-Read the original book for FREE at: http://www.prostatepointers.org/prostate/lay/apilgrim/Read new edition for FREE at http://www.cancer.prostate-help.org/capilgr.htmDr. E. Crawford is co-author of the revision

Jess,

First I feel compelled to comment one one important factor in your father's recovery. You. I am impressed by your levelheaded appraisal of your situation. You are facing a difficult situation but you are approaching it well by seeking information in this group.

I am probably your father's age being 55 myself. I have prostate cancer and found out about it in very early June. I have yet to be treated so I cannot offer much advice as to what to expect as regards care after surgery.

Still I have a few suggestions that I hope may serve you well and I hope you take them into consideration. You are very honest and forthright about your father's drinking and smoking. I will assume these are likely to be more difficult things to deal with than the surgery itself.

Here is why: After surgery your father will probably have medication which may make him drowsy or less alert. If he should drink while on these medicines the effects of alcohol will be compounded. Added to this is the smoking.

Added all up my worry is less for him than those around him for this reason.... Suppose he should have a drink while on the medicine. He will likely be on a couch, living room chair, or in bed. One can easily fall asleep under these conditions.. If he should be smoking if or when this happens there could easily be a fire. Would your 7 yr old daughter be able to resist bringing him a drink or his cigarettes while you are away?

I suggest you have no cigarettes, alcohol or matches in the house if your daughter is alone with him. I do not mean merely hidden or locked away but NONE in the house or available at all.

I can see you love your dad and are thoughtful about what you must do . I do not wish to stress you but I think you may benefit by making sure you have done all you can to keep everyone safe. It will speed your father's recovery as well.

You seem like a very good daughter, I wish you well.

Jeff Gillaspie <jgillaspie4hotmail> wrote:

Hi group, I just joined this group to find out some info on what to expect from my dads surgery on Oct. 13th. My 18 year old sister, my 7 year old daughter, and I are all my dad has. He was told he had prostate cancer in May I think. We decided to take the route of surgery to remove it. However when he is recovering he will be staying with me so I can try to take care of him. Unfortunately I have not been to all of his appointments with him. He had had a girlfriend going with him who just recently left him. Since she was going to be his caregiver during recovery she knows all the things to expect and what he will be needing as far as care. Now that she is no longer in the picture I am picking up where she left off. However my dad is not real informative about all the things discussed in his appointments. You see I am only 25 and he still looks at me like I am his child, and doesn't want to worry or bother me with details. I have made him tell the doctors that they are to tell me anything I need to know since I am the only one he really has to depend on. The thing is I work 2 jobs and live with just my daughter. I know I will talk to the doctors tons while he is in the hospital to find out what he needs when I take him home. I am just looking for a little heads up on if I need to prepare for more care than I will be able to offer him. My sister will be staying with me on her days off Mon. and thurs. So I know he will be ok on those days. Other than that I will leave my house at 9:00am and will not be home until almost 6:00pm. I am having my daughter come home after school at 4:00pm instead of going to her daycare so that she can call me if something is wrong with him. She will also be able to make him food and drinks if he needs them, but that is about all she can do. I then work my second job wed. and sat. nights from 7pm to about 2am. My concerns are how well will he be able to function on his own?? I know he will be on a catheter and wearing depends. Will he be able to change those things himself or will I need to?? Do I need to find someone else to be with him during the day?? If so do they need to be there all day or can they just come check on him?? He also is a very heavy smoker and drinker. He was told to quit of coarse, but if he couldn't to at least slow down. So his approach was going from 3 packs a day to 1 1/2 packs a day, and instead of drinking nonstop from the time he gets home from work until he passes out to just drinking maybe a handful of drinks, but still everyday. My father has several health issues as I am sure you noticed they are mostly self inflicted. My other issue though is he thinks as soon as he gets out of the hospital he will be going right back to his old ways. Since he will be in my care and will not be able to access that stuff himself how should I approach that. I mean I have heard if you go from doing those things as much as he does to stopping cold turkey it can actually effect your body in a worse way than helping it. With him already going through the surgery and recovery I don't want to make things worse by cutting him off completely, but I don't want to just give him what he wants if it will hurt his recovery more. Any suggestions??As you all can see I am extremely stressed, confused and could use a little advice. Thanks for taking the time to read my story. If nothing else I just really needed to get it out of my head to some people who may have been where I am now!!Thank you,Jess

[Guest guest]

>

> Hi group, I just joined this group to find out some info on what to

expect

> from my dads surgery on Oct. 13th. My 18 year old sister, my 7 year

old

> daughter, and I are all my dad has. He was told he had prostate

cancer in

> May I think. We decided to take the route of surgery to remove it.

However

> when he is recovering he will be staying with me so I can try to

take care

> of him. Unfortunately I have not been to all of his appointments

with him.

> He had had a girlfriend going with him who just recently left him.

Since she

> was going to be his caregiver during recovery she knows all the

things to

> expect and what he will be needing as far as care. Now that she is

no longer

> in the picture I am picking up where she left off. However my dad

is not

> real informative about all the things discussed in his

appointments. You see

> I am only 25 and he still looks at me like I am his child, and

doesn't want

> to worry or bother me with details. I have made him tell the

doctors that

> they are to tell me anything I need to know since I am the only one

he

> really has to depend on. The thing is I work 2 jobs and live with

just my

> daughter. I know I will talk to the doctors tons while he is in the

hospital

> to find out what he needs when I take him home. I am just looking

for a

> little heads up on if I need to prepare for more care than I will

be able to

> offer him. My sister will be staying with me on her days off Mon.

and thurs.

> So I know he will be ok on those days. Other than that I will leave

my house

> at 9:00am and will not be home until almost 6:00pm. I am having my

daughter

> come home after school at 4:00pm instead of going to her daycare so

that she

> can call me if something is wrong with him. She will also be able

to make

> him food and drinks if he needs them, but that is about all she can

do. I

> then work my second job wed. and sat. nights from 7pm to about 2am.

My

> concerns are how well will he be able to function on his own?? I

know he

> will be on a catheter and wearing depends. Will he be able to

change those

> things himself or will I need to?? Do I need to find someone else

to be with

> him during the day?? If so do they need to be there all day or can

they just

> come check on him?? He also is a very heavy smoker and drinker. He

was told

> to quit of coarse, but if he couldn't to at least slow down. So his

approach

> was going from 3 packs a day to 1 1/2 packs a day, and instead of

drinking

> nonstop from the time he gets home from work until he passes out to

just

> drinking maybe a handful of drinks, but still everyday. My father

has

> several health issues as I am sure you noticed they are mostly self

> inflicted. My other issue though is he thinks as soon as he gets

out of the

> hospital he will be going right back to his old ways. Since he will

be in my

> care and will not be able to access that stuff himself how should I

approach

> that. I mean I have heard if you go from doing those things as much

as he

> does to stopping cold turkey it can actually effect your body in a

worse way

> than helping it. With him already going through the surgery and

recovery I

> don't want to make things worse by cutting him off completely, but

I don't

> want to just give him what he wants if it will hurt his recovery

more. Any

> suggestions??

>

> As you all can see I am extremely stressed, confused and could use

a little

> advice. Thanks for taking the time to read my story. If nothing

else I just

> really needed to get it out of my head to some people who may have

been

> where I am now!!

>

> Thank you,

> Jess

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> Express yourself - download free Windows Live Messenger themes!

> http://clk.atdmt.com/MSN/go/msnnkwme0020000001msn/direct/01/?

href=http://imagine-msn.com/themes/vibe/default.aspx?locale=en-

us & source=hmtagline

>

Dear Jess,

I want to congratulate you. You sound like a really great person.

I just have a minute now but I wanted to suggest you talk to the

hospital social worker and explain your situation. Ask to have a

visiting nurse look in on your father after he is discharged. My

husband does not have any special insurance but I arranged for him to

have a nurse come over even though he didn't really need it in the

end.

Also, try to see that he stays in the hospital as long as possible so

he could get initial care there. You know, when they release people

has a lot to do with discretion and in your father's case he might

benefit from being there longer.

My husband did not have a problem taking care of himself after

surgery. But you do have to be motivated and organized. The main

thing is changing the dressings and keeping the area clean and

managing the catheter.

Good luck and feel free to ask me any questions.

Leah

[Guest guest]

Thank you to all for your advice. I have talk with his doctors about these

issues and they are dealing with it as I guess they feel they should. I

wanted to let you all know that the surgery went well. They said it was the

best that they could have expected. They don't have all the results back

yet, but they don't think that it has spread anywhere else. We were very

happy to hear that!! He is in alot of pain, but they think they are getting

that under control. They allso said they were able to spare more nerves then

they had thought, and he should regain ALL his functions. Not that, that is

something I like to talk about since it is my father, but for those of you

who haven't been treated yet I would like to give you that info so you have

some hope. I know that it was a big concern for my father going into this.

Again thank you all, and I will stay in touch.

Jess

P.S. For those of you who had responded about his age, he is 57. Thanks!!

_________________________________________________________________

Find a local pizza place, music store, museum and more…then map the best

route! http://local.live.com

[Guest guest]

HI ! I'm glad you wrote and told us of your Dads Surgery! I am very glad it went well. My name is Tom and went thru this same surgery 2 and a half years ago and am doing fine now. I don't think you will have to do anything for your Dad when he gets home. He should stay in the hospital around 4 days. That's what I did! I went home feeling great! You won't have to worry about changing dressings or anything like that. He should get his staples out in about a week, and then the catheter should come out in a week after that! The main thing is that He goes home, when released, and do NOTHING! I would get up in the morning, eat something and lay down, read the paper and watch tv. No lifting, nothing strenuos at all! He should start eating again and take it slowly. Things will come back slowly and he will feel fine. I was 49 when I started this journey and am about to turn 52. All of my PSA tests are zero and I hope your Dads are too!

Feel free to write and ask all the questions you want. I'd love to help! Take care and write soon! Tom Gillaspie wrote: Thank you to all for your advice. I have talk with his doctors about these issues and they are dealing with it as I guess they feel they should. I wanted to let you all know that the surgery went well. They said it was the best that they could have expected. They don't have all the results back yet, but they don't think that it has spread anywhere else. We were very happy to hear that!! He is in alot of pain, but they think they are getting that under control. They allso said they were able to spare more nerves then they had thought, and he should regain ALL his functions. Not that, that is something I like to talk about since it is my father, but for

those of you who haven't been treated yet I would like to give you that info so you have some hope. I know that it was a big concern for my father going into this. Again thank you all, and I will stay in touch.JessP.S. For those of you who had responded about his age, he is 57. Thanks!!_________________________________________________________________Find a local pizza place, music store, museum and more…then map the best route! http://local.live.comThere are just two rules for this group 1 No Spam 2 Be kind to othersPlease recognise that Prostate Cancerhas different guises and needs different levels of treatment and in some cases no treatment at all. Some men even with all options offered chose radical options that you would not choose. We only ask that people be informed before choice is made, we cannot and should not tell other members what to do, other than look at other options. Try to

delete old material that is no longer applying when clicking replyTry to change the title if the content requires it

[Guest guest]

>

> Thank you to all for your advice. I have talk with his doctors

about these

> issues and they are dealing with it as I guess they feel they

should. I

> wanted to let you all know that the surgery went well. They said it

was the

> best that they could have expected. They don't have all the results

back

> yet, but they don't think that it has spread anywhere else. We were

very

> happy to hear that!! He is in alot of pain, but they think they are

getting

> that under control. They allso said they were able to spare more

nerves then

> they had thought, and he should regain ALL his functions. Not that,

that is

> something I like to talk about since it is my father, but for those

of you

> who haven't been treated yet I would like to give you that info so

you have

> some hope. I know that it was a big concern for my father going

into this.

> Again thank you all, and I will stay in touch.

>

> Jess

>

> P.S. For those of you who had responded about his age, he is 57.

Thanks!!

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> Find a local pizza place, music store, museum and more…then map the

best

> route! http://local.live.com

jess--

I am really glad everything went well. I don't know if he had open or

lab/robotic surgery but I have to tell you this. My husband's doctor

suggested that he be up and about as soon as possible. He said this

would help the healing.

My husband was initially resistant but then he started walking as

much as he could (a couple of miles a day) and he felt somewhat

better. (He had had bladder cramps and they subsided). Also, once

he got out of the house his mood really improved.

So make sure to check with his doctor about dad's post-op regimen.

He may need to move around a little.

Also, when you pick him up from the hospital make sure he has a pair

of loose pants to go home in and maybe a towel to sit on.

All the best. FEel free to ask questions.

Leah

P.S. It is hard to talk about your father's private life. Mine had a

stroke and was laid up for a year and I had discussions about every

part of his body with the med staff. I couldn't pick and choose. But

I did feel a little wicked about it

>

[Guest guest]

Aubrey, Thank you for writing this post. 3 months ago I had made arrangements for robotic surgery to be done next Thursday. About a month back I read one of your posts and then researched other options and chose brachytherapy instead. I canceled the surgery and am now pursuing the latter as it more fits what I feel is best for me. I do not mean to suggest this is what anyone else should do as we are all different. I only say this appears the better option for myself. I am going to Dr Dattoli in Sarasota as I live only a 2 hr drive away. My Gleason is 4+3 and PSA is 11.2. Many surgeons have told me to act quickly but I view it as a blue light special at KMART. I will take the small risk of being late if that is what it takes to feel at ease with my decision. If I have waited too long so be it. It is my call I have read, and believe, that our greatest regrets in live will not be over what we have done, but

rather what we have not done. I think this is a Mark Twain remark. For me I believe I may very well have regretted not looking past surgery. I thank you for your post making me rethink what I might do. To others out there, and to Jess, I have to point out that because I have changed my mind about me does in no way suggest that what I have done is what your or your loved ones should do.There are no easy answers here. No one size fits all. And to you Aubrey I must say the following..Your post gave me pause to rethink what I expect and want from all this. If I have made the wrong choice by rethinking all of this it is only my responsibility to do so. You merely pointed out an option. The choice was mine and mine alone. That leads me to the real point of this post. In this group we can say and suggest things, make comment, offer ideas etc. where our doctors are too greedy or too afraid of lawsuits to

do so. We recognize each person as intelligent and worthy of respect regardless of backround or social status. This is a strength that will serve those who come after us well. For myself I can only say that I appreciate the time and courage it takes to offer ideas on improving my life and those of others who benefit from all this. Giving advice carries a great burden and we rarely learn the outcome of our advice. Perhaps the best thing about this site is that we relearn daily one very important truth. There are good people out there who take an interest and honest concern for our well being. Jess is my own daughter's age. I know nothing of her nor her father. I can only say she made a good choice in posting to this site. I know she has done well by doing so.Joke of the day....I have been studied and scanned to the point I cannot recall them all. I understand even had a brain scan. I

called to find the results of the brain scan and was told "we did not find anything" I am not sure if this is good news or bad. If anyone finds a wayward brain it may well be mine. Please do not throw it in the trash. I am in need of one just now. APilgrm@... wrote: Hi Jeff and Jess, You offered some good advice about drinking and smoking. I know how hard it is to stop smoking. I truly believe it is

as hard to stop as if it were heroin. But it can be done. I hope the two of you have done lots of research before you decide on your treatments. There are several options which I believe are better than surgery. I had surgery in 1992 when we did not have as many options as today. Removal of the prostate may change your life forever. If I had it to do over I would choose brachytherapy, or if possible the new High Intensity Focused Ultrasound (HIFU). For many years, women who were diagnosed with breast cancer had radical mastectomies or removal of the entire breast. Now most women have simple lumpectomies so that much of the breast is preserved. I believe that brachytherapy can be similar to a lumpectomy. The radiation will disrupt the DNA of the cancer cells and even many

of the normal cells. Most of the normal cells will be able to recover, but the cancer cells do not have the ability to repair the damage. This the whole reason for radiation. It is your body and your responsibility to make the treatment decision. It should be a well informed decision because it is something you will have to live with the rest of your life. I wish you all the bestAubrey Pilgrim, DC (Ret.) Author ofA Revolutionary Approach to Prostate Cancer-Read the original book for FREE at: http://www.prostatepointers.org/prostate/lay/apilgrim/Read new edition for FREE at http://www.cancer.prostate-help.org/capilgr.htmDr. E. Crawford is co-author of the revision In a message dated 10/12/2006 8:28:29 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, jeffreyo33315 writes: Jess, First I feel compelled to comment one one important factor in your father's recovery. You. I am impressed by your levelheaded appraisal of your situation. You are facing a difficult situation but you are approaching it well by seeking information in this group. I am probably your father's age being 55 myself. I have prostate cancer and

found out about it in very early June. I have yet to be treated so I cannot offer much advice as to what to expect as regards care after surgery. Still I have a few suggestions that I hope may serve you well and I hope you take them into consideration. You are very honest and forthright about your father's drinking and smoking. I will assume these are likely to be more difficult things to deal with than the surgery itself. Here is why: After surgery your father will probably have medication which may make him drowsy or less alert. If he should drink while on these medicines the effects of alcohol will be compounded. Added to this is the smoking. Added all up my worry is less for him than those around him for this reason.... Suppose he should have a drink while on the medicine. He will likely be on a couch, living room chair, or in bed. One can easily fall

asleep under these conditions.. If he should be smoking if or when this happens there could easily be a fire. Would your 7 yr old daughter be able to resist bringing him a drink or his cigarettes while you are away? I suggest you have no cigarettes, alcohol or matches in the house if your daughter is alone with him. I do not mean merely hidden or locked away but NONE in the house or available at all. I can see you love your dad and are thoughtful about what you must do . I do not wish to stress you but I think you may benefit by making sure you have done all you can to keep everyone safe. It will speed your father's recovery as well. You seem like a very good daughter, I wish you well. Jeff Gillaspie <jgillaspie4hotmail> wrote: Hi group, I just joined this group to find out some info on what to expect from my dads surgery on Oct. 13th. My 18 year old sister, my 7 year old daughter, and I are all my dad has. He was told he had prostate cancer in May I think. We decided to take the route of surgery to remove it. However when he is recovering he will be staying with me so I can try to take care of him. Unfortunately I have not been to all of his appointments with him. He had had a girlfriend going with him who just recently left him. Since she was going to be his caregiver during recovery she knows all the things to expect and what he will be needing as far as care. Now that she is no longer in the picture I am picking up where she left off. However my dad is not real informative about all the things discussed in his

appointments. You see I am only 25 and he still looks at me like I am his child, and doesn't want to worry or bother me with details. I have made him tell the doctors that they are to tell me anything I need to know since I am the only one he really has to depend on. The thing is I work 2 jobs and live with just my daughter. I know I will talk to the doctors tons while he is in the hospital to find out what he needs when I take him home. I am just looking for a little heads up on if I need to prepare for more care than I will be able to offer him. My sister will be staying with me on her days off Mon. and thurs. So I know he will be ok on those days. Other than that I will leave my house at 9:00am and will not be home until almost 6:00pm. I am having my daughter come home after school at 4:00pm instead of going to her daycare so that she can call me if something is

wrong with him. She will also be able to make him food and drinks if he needs them, but that is about all she can do. I then work my second job wed. and sat. nights from 7pm to about 2am. My concerns are how well will he be able to function on his own?? I know he will be on a catheter and wearing depends. Will he be able to change those things himself or will I need to?? Do I need to find someone else to be with him during the day?? If so do they need to be there all day or can they just come check on him?? He also is a very heavy smoker and drinker. He was told to quit of coarse, but if he couldn't to at least slow down. So his approach was going from 3 packs a day to 1 1/2 packs a day, and instead of drinking nonstop from the time he gets home from work until he passes out to just drinking maybe a handful of drinks, but still everyday. My father has several

health issues as I am sure you noticed they are mostly self inflicted. My other issue though is he thinks as soon as he gets out of the hospital he will be going right back to his old ways. Since he will be in my care and will not be able to access that stuff himself how should I approach that. I mean I have heard if you go from doing those things as much as he does to stopping cold turkey it can actually effect your body in a worse way than helping it. With him already going through the surgery and recovery I don't want to make things worse by cutting him off completely, but I don't want to just give him what he wants if it will hurt his recovery more. Any suggestions??As you all can see I am extremely stressed, confused and could use a little advice. Thanks for taking the time to read my story. If nothing else I just really needed to get it out of my head

to some people who may have been where I am now!!Thank you,Jess

Get your own web address for just $1.99/1st yr. We'll help. Yahoo! Small Business.

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I think you have made an excellent choice. I have met Dr. Dattoli

several times. I think he is one of the best at what he does.

Sure wish I had been able to have brachytherapy in 1992

instead of surgery.

Aubrey

Aubrey, Thank you for writing this post. 3 months ago I had made arrangements for robotic surgery to be done next Thursday. About a month back I read one of your posts and then researched other options and chose brachytherapy instead. I canceled the surgery and am now pursuing the latter as it more fits what I feel is best for me. I do not mean to suggest this is what anyone else should do as we are all different. I only say this appears the better option for myself. I am going to Dr Dattoli in Sarasota as I live only a 2 hr drive away. My Gleason is 4+3 and PSA is 11.2. Many surgeons have told me to act quickly but I view it as a blue light special at KMART. I will take the small risk of being late if that is what it takes to feel at ease with my decision. If I have waited too long so be it. It is my call I have read, and believe, that our greatest regrets in live will not be over what we have done, but rather what we have not done. I think this is a Mark Twain remark. For me I believe I may very well have regretted not looking past surgery. I thank you for your post making me rethink what I might do. To others out there, and to Jess, I have to point out that because I have changed my mind about me does in no way suggest that what I have done is what your or your loved ones should do.There are no easy answers here. No one size fits all. And to you Aubrey I must say the following..Your post gave me pause to rethink what I expect and want from all this. If I have made the wrong choice by rethinking all of this it is only my responsibility to do so. You merely pointed out an option. The choice was mine and mine alone. That leads me to the real point of this post. In this group we can say and suggest things, make comment, offer ideas etc. where our doctors are too greedy or too afraid of lawsuits to do so. We recognize each person as intelligent and worthy of respect regardless of backround or social status. This is a strength that will serve those who come after us well. For myself I can only say that I appreciate the time and courage it takes to offer ideas on improving my life and those of others who benefit from all this. Giving advice carries a great burden and we rarely learn the outcome of our advice. Perhaps the best thing about this site is that we relearn daily one very important truth. There are good people out there who take an interest and honest concern for our well being. Jess is my own daughter's age. I know nothing of her nor her father. I can only say she made a good choice in posting to this site. I know she has done well by doing so.Joke of the day....I have been studied and scanned to the point I cannot recall them all. I understand even had a brain scan. I called to find the results of the brain scan and was told "we did not find anything" I am not sure if this is good news or bad. If anyone finds a wayward brain it may well be mine. Please do not throw it in the trash. I am in need of one just now. APilgrmaol wrote:

Hi Jeff and Jess,

You offered some good advice about drinking and smoking. I

know how hard it is to stop smoking. I truly believe it is as hard

to stop as if it were heroin. But it can be done.

I hope the two of you have done lots of research before you

decide on your treatments. There are several options which I

believe are better than surgery. I had surgery in 1992 when we

did not have as many options as today. Removal of the prostate

may change your life forever. If I had it to do over I would choose

brachytherapy, or if possible the new High Intensity Focused

Ultrasound (HIFU).

For many years, women who were diagnosed with breast

cancer had radical mastectomies or removal of the entire

breast. Now most women have simple lumpectomies so

that much of the breast is preserved. I believe that

brachytherapy can be similar to a lumpectomy. The

radiation will disrupt the DNA of the cancer cells and

even many of the normal cells. Most of the normal cells

will be able to recover, but the cancer cells do not have

the ability to repair the damage. This the whole reason

for radiation.

It is your body and your responsibility to make the treatment

decision. It should be a well informed decision because it is

something you will have to live with the rest of your life.

I wish you all the bestAubrey Pilgrim, DC (Ret.) Author ofA Revolutionary Approach to Prostate Cancer-Read the original book for FREE at: http://www.prostatepointers.org/prostate/lay/apilgrim/Read new edition for FREE at http://www.cancer.prostate-help.org/capilgr.htmDr. E. Crawford is co-author of the revision

In a message dated 10/12/2006 8:28:29 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, jeffreyo33315 writes:

Jess,

First I feel compelled to comment one one important factor in your father's recovery. You. I am impressed by your levelheaded appraisal of your situation. You are facing a difficult situation but you are approaching it well by seeking information in this group.

I am probably your father's age being 55 myself. I have prostate cancer and found out about it in very early June. I have yet to be treated so I cannot offer much advice as to what to expect as regards care after surgery.

Still I have a few suggestions that I hope may serve you well and I hope you take them into consideration. You are very honest and forthright about your father's drinking and smoking. I will assume these are likely to be more difficult things to deal with than the surgery itself.

Here is why: After surgery your father will probably have medication which may make him drowsy or less alert. If he should drink while on these medicines the effects of alcohol will be compounded. Added to this is the smoking.

Added all up my worry is less for him than those around him for this reason.... Suppose he should have a drink while on the medicine. He will likely be on a couch, living room chair, or in bed. One can easily fall asleep under these conditions.. If he should be smoking if or when this happens there could easily be a fire. Would your 7 yr old daughter be able to resist bringing him a drink or his cigarettes while you are away?

I suggest you have no cigarettes, alcohol or matches in the house if your daughter is alone with him. I do not mean merely hidden or locked away but NONE in the house or available at all.

I can see you love your dad and are thoughtful about what you must do . I do not wish to stress you but I think you may benefit by making sure you have done all you can to keep everyone safe. It will speed your father's recovery as well.

You seem like a very good daughter, I wish you well.

Jeff Gillaspie <jgillaspie4hotmail> wrote:

Hi group, I just joined this group to find out some info on what to expect from my dads surgery on Oct. 13th. My 18 year old sister, my 7 year old daughter, and I are all my dad has. He was told he had prostate cancer in May I think. We decided to take the route of surgery to remove it. However when he is recovering he will be staying with me so I can try to take care of him. Unfortunately I have not been to all of his appointments with him. He had had a girlfriend going with him who just recently left him. Since she was going to be his caregiver during recovery she knows all the things to expect and what he will be needing as far as care. Now that she is no longer in the picture I am picking up where she left off. However my dad is not real informative about all the things discussed in his appointments. You see I am only 25 and he still looks at me like I am his child, and doesn't want to worry or bother me with details. I have made him tell the doctors that they are to tell me anything I need to know since I am the only one he really has to depend on. The thing is I work 2 jobs and live with just my daughter. I know I will talk to the doctors tons while he is in the hospital to find out what he needs when I take him home. I am just looking for a little heads up on if I need to prepare for more care than I will be able to offer him. My sister will be staying with me on her days off Mon. and thurs. So I know he will be ok on those days. Other than that I will leave my house at 9:00am and will not be home until almost 6:00pm. I am having my daughter come home after school at 4:00pm instead of going to her daycare so that she can call me if something is wrong with him. She will also be able to make him food and drinks if he needs them, but that is about all she can do. I then work my second job wed. and sat. nights from 7pm to about 2am. My concerns are how well will he be able to function on his own?? I know he will be on a catheter and wearing depends. Will he be able to change those things himself or will I need to?? Do I need to find someone else to be with him during the day?? If so do they need to be there all day or can they just come check on him?? He also is a very heavy smoker and drinker. He was told to quit of coarse, but if he couldn't to at least slow down. So his approach was going from 3 packs a day to 1 1/2 packs a day, and instead of drinking nonstop from the time he gets home from work until he passes out to just drinking maybe a handful of drinks, but still everyday. My father has several health issues as I am sure you noticed they are mostly self inflicted. My other issue though is he thinks as soon as he gets out of the hospital he will be going right back to his old ways. Since he will be in my care and will not be able to access that stuff himself how should I approach that. I mean I have heard if you go from doing those things as much as he does to stopping cold turkey it can actually effect your body in a worse way than helping it. With him already going through the surgery and recovery I don't want to make things worse by cutting him off completely, but I don't want to just give him what he wants if it will hurt his recovery more. Any suggestions??As you all can see I am extremely stressed, confused and could use a little advice. Thanks for taking the time to read my story. If nothing else I just really needed to get it out of my head to some people who may have been where I am now!!Thank you,Jess

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