Guest guest Posted December 16, 2006 Report Share Posted December 16, 2006 Sylvia, I agree with Kerrie. Thanks for posting that very poignant fable. What a great analogy for dealing with BPs and others. One Non-BP Recovering Man --- Kerrie wrote: > Thanks for sharing this again w/the group Sylvia. > That's such an > incredibly awesome story and I did need to read it > tonight. Thanks so > much! > Kerrie > > > > > Fellow KOs, > > > > Our former moderator, Edith, posted this fable on > our board. I > just > > came across it, and wanted to share it with those > of you who have > > not read it before. It portrays the struggle we > KOs have to go > > through when we establish our lives independent of > our BP parent. > > > > " The Bridge " > > > > There was a man who had given much thought to what > he wanted > > from life. He had experienced many moods and > trials. He had > > experimented with different ways of living, and he > had had his > > share of both success and failure. At last, he > began to see > > clearly where he wanted to go. > > > > Diligently, he searched for the right opportunity. > Sometimes he > > came close, only to be pushed away. Often he > applied all his > > strength and imagination, only to find the path > hopelessly > > blocked. And then at last it came. But the > opportunity would not > > wait. It would be made available only for a short > time. If it > > were seen that he was not committed, the > opportunity would not > > come again. > > > > Eager to arrive, he started on his journey. With > each step, he > > wanted to move faster; with each thought about his > goal, his > > heart beat quicker; with each vision of what lay > ahead, he found > > renewed vigor. Strength that had left him since > his early youth > > returned, and desires, all kinds of desires, > reawakened from > > their long-dormant positions. > > > > Hurrying along, he came upon a bridge that crossed > through the > > middle of a town. It had been built high above a > river in order > > to protect it from the floods of spring. > > > > He started across. Then he noticed someone coming > from the > > opposite direction. As they moved closer, it > seemed as though > > the other was coming to greet him. He could see > clearly, > > however, that he did not know this other, who was > dressed > > similarly except for something tied around his > waist. > > > > When they were within hailing distance, he could > see that what > > the other had about his waist was a rope. It was > wrapped around > > him many times and probably, if extended, would > reach a length > > of 30 feet. > > > > The other began to uncurl the rope, and, just as > they were > > coming close, the stranger said, " Pardon me, would > you be so > > kind as to hold the end a moment? " > > > > Surprised by this politely phrased but curious > request, he > > agreed without a thought, reached out, and took > it. > > > > " Thank you, " said the other, who then added, " two > hands now, and > > remember, hold tight. " Whereupon, the other jumped > off the bridge. > > > > Quickly, the free-falling body hurtled the > distance of the ropes > > length, and from the bridge the man abruptly felt > the pull. > > Instinctively, he held tight and was almost > dragged over the > > side. He managed to brace himself against the > edge, however, and > > after having caught his breath, looked down at the > other > > dangling, close to oblivion. > > > > " What are you trying to do? " he yelled. > > > > " Just hold tight, " said the other. > > > > " This is ridiculous, " the man thought and began > trying to haul > > the other in. He could not get the leverage, > however. It was as > > though the weight of the other person and the > length of the rope > > had been carefully calculated in advance so that > together they > > created a counterweight just beyond his strength > to bring the > > other back to safety. > > > > " Why did you do this? " the man called out. > > > > " Remember, " said the other, " if you let go, I will > be lost. " > > > > " But I cannot pull you up, " the man cried. > > > > " I am your responsibility, " said the other. > > > > " Well, I did not ask for it, " the man said. > > > > " If you let go, I am lost, " repeated the other. > > > > He began to look around for help. But there was no > one. How > > long would he have to wait? Why did this happen to > befall him > > now, just as he was on the verge of true success? > He examined > > the side, searching for a place to tie the rope. > Some > > protrusion, perhaps, or maybe a hole in the > boards. But the > > railing was unusually uniform in shape; there were > no spaces > > between the boards. There was no way to get rid of > this newfound > > burden, even temporarily. > > > > " What do you want? " he asked the other hanging > below. > > > > " Just your help, " the other answered. > > > > " How can I help? I cannot pull you in, and there > is no place to > > tie the rope so that I can go and find someone to > help me help you. " > > > > " I know that. Just hang on; that will be enough. > Tie the rope > > around your waist; it will be easier. " > > > > Fearing that his arms could not hold out much > longer, he tied > > the rope around his waist. > > > > " Why did you do this? " he asked again. " Don't you > see what you > > have done? What possible purpose could you have > had in mind? " > > > > " Just remember, " said the other, " my life is in > your hands. " > > > > What should he do? " If I let go, all my life I > will know that I > > let this other die. If I stay, I risk losing my > momentum toward > > my own long-sought-after salvation. Either way > this will haunt > > me forever. " > > > > With ironic humor he thought to die himself, > instantly, to jump > > off the bridge while still holding on. " That would > teach this > > fool. " But he wanted to live and to live life > fully. " What a > > choice I have to make; how shall I ever decide? " > > > > As time went by, still no one came. The critical > moment of > > decision was drawing near. To show his commitment > to his own > > goals, he would have to continue on his journey > now. It was > > already almost too late to arrive in time. But > what a terrible > > choice to have to make. > > > > A new thought occurred to him. While he could not > pull this > > other up solely by his own efforts, if the other > would shorten > > the rope from his end by curling it around his > waist again and > > again, together they could do it. Actually, the > other could do > > it by himself, so long as he, standing on the > bridge, kept it > > still and steady. > > > > " Now listen, " he shouted down. " I think I know how > to save you. " > > And he explained his plan. > > > > But the other wasn't interested. > > > > " You mean you won't help? But I told you I cannot > pull you up by > > myself, and I don't think I can hang on much > longer either. " > > > > " You must try, " the other shouted back in tears. > " If you fail, I > > die. " > > > > The point of decision arrived. What should he do? > " My life or > > this other's? " And then a new idea. A revelation. > So new, in > > fact, it seemed heretical, so alien was it to his > traditional > > way of thinking. > > > > " I want you to listen to me carefully, " he said, > " because I mean > > what I am about to say. I will not accept the > position of choice > > for your life, only for my own; the position of > choice for your > > own life I hereby give back to you. " > > > > " What do you mean? " the other asked, afraid. > > > > " I mean, simply, it's up to you. You decide which > way this ends. > > I will become the counterweight. You do the > pulling and bring > > yourself up. I will even tug a little from here. " > He began > > unwinding the rope from around his waist and > braced himself anew > > against the side. > > > > " You cannot mean what you say, " the other > shrieked. " You would > > not be so selfish. I am your responsibility. What > could be so > > important that you would let someone die? Do not > do this to me. " > > > > He waited a moment. There was no change in the > tension of the rope. > > > > " I accept your choice, " he said, at last, and > freed his hands. > > > > > > --From " FRIEDMAN'S FABLES " by Edwin Friedman, > > published by Guilford Press > > > > > > I have often referred to this story when I started > to doubt the > > decisions I made for myself in regard to nada. > > > > Sylvia > > > > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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