Siblings

[Guest guest]

I have really enjoyed reading everyone's information. This is so hard

to go through and just doesn't make sense. I think that is what

causes my head to hurt is trying to figure out this crazy disorder.

Anyway, any ideas on this one..... I have an older brother who was the

golden child in nada's eyes. But he was a drug abuser, partier, in

jail for theft, wrecked cars, never kept bills paid, still owes taxes,

and lied to us about having a fatal illness..... man were we

dysfunctional....

Anyway, she always bailed him out. She knew everything about him and

I found out in Oct. that she didn't know where I worked, what I did,

or what I studied in college. I always " knew " he was favored in her

eyes, but when you really " know " it, it seems to hurt more.

Anyway, how does that play into the BPD stuff?

Rhonda

[Guest guest]

Hi Rhonda,

What you described is essential when there is more than one child in the family;

splitting. It really has nothing to do with reality; it is based on the

insanity of the bpd.

The real question that I would ask you, as I agree 110% that it hurts even worse

when you find out that your parent(s) don't care about you at all, is why is

that important? Do you believe her? Do you want to try and get on her good

side (there is no such thing - not even for the golden child)?

I think it is helpful to sometimes step back and take the word and image of

mother out of it and just put a person in there instead. So if you imagine this

stranger painting your brother all beautiful and golden (especially when he is

doing all the illegal and harmful things to himself) would you trust this

stranger? Or would you more likely think htat person is an insane idiot?

What if that very same stranger told you those things about you, or said those

things about you and you found out? Would you believe them? Doubt it.

Distance can help gain perspective.

Take good care,

Greg.

Siblings

I have really enjoyed reading everyone's information. This is so hard

to go through and just doesn't make sense. I think that is what

causes my head to hurt is trying to figure out this crazy disorder.

Anyway, any ideas on this one..... I have an older brother who was the

golden child in nada's eyes. But he was a drug abuser, partier, in

jail for theft, wrecked cars, never kept bills paid, still owes taxes,

and lied to us about having a fatal illness..... man were we

dysfunctional. ...

Anyway, she always bailed him out. She knew everything about him and

I found out in Oct. that she didn't know where I worked, what I did,

or what I studied in college. I always " knew " he was favored in her

eyes, but when you really " know " it, it seems to hurt more.

Anyway, how does that play into the BPD stuff?

Rhonda

__________________________________________________