Guest guest Posted February 8, 2008 Report Share Posted February 8, 2008 - thanks for the explanation of question 4.. i never got that before thats why i love your posts love, roslyn -- In Loving-what-is , " Hypegia Phoebe " wrote: > > > > > > ok have done the JYN, this is the 1st > > is trying to make me look like afool > > > > > > Q1 When people have found out how she has been behaving, people have > > been supportive and judged her not me....so yes she has, but it has > > backfired on her > > > > Q2 No i cant absolutely know her aim is to make me look foolish, no > > matter how much i think it to be true > > > > Q3 i feel very angry, humiliated and stressed(she must not win), I > > feel a tightness in my chest and throat > > My mind attacks her, wants to destroy her, teach her a lesson once > > and for all, make her feel bad, I also feel guilty/ashamed to be > > thinking theses things. > > I treat myself badly when I believe this thought, feel stressed, beat > > myself up, I feel inadequate > > I have got to win , prove myself, come out looking good > > > > Q4 calmer, less angry, more objective, more willing to cooperate, my > > mind feels sharper, the problem smaller and more defined, more > > compassion > > > > Turnaround > > I am trying to make me look like a fool > > by setting myself up for something I can,t win or if I did win > > the victory would be hollow and not worth the effort > > > > Iam trying to make look like a fool > > Yes I AM,I AM GOING TO SORT HER OUT ONCE AND FOR ALL > > > > is not trying to make me look like a fool > > I think she is afraid and using anything at her disposal to > > fight back > > > > mmmm, lot to think about there, i cant seem tos top crying when i > > read this but i still dont know what to do next, i have so much > > pressure from my manager to sort this problem out > > thanks for reading, all comments gratefully recieved > > > > When you answer question 4 are you answering what you *think* you > would feel or what you have *actually* felt when quietly sitting > without the thought clouding your mind? To think/perceive without this > thought that this person is trying to make you look like a fool is > literally like a letting a dark cloud pass by and seeing the view > beyond. When you actually see the view beyond, *then* and only then > will you honestly feel what that feels like. Answering question 4 is > not about using your imagination thinking what it might feel like > without the thought, it's an actual experience. > > If you have experienced that, were there any new realizations that > came to you during that experience? For example, " It is not possible > for anyone to make me look like a fool. Everyone is responsible for > their own perceptions of me, including my boss. " So your main concern > might not be that is trying to make you look like a fool but that > your boss could possibly be convinced that you are a fool by the > manipulations of . Then taking it to possibly more stressful and > underlying layers: If my boss thinks I'm a fool, then I could get > reprimanded and being reprimanded is an embarrassment and a poor > reflection on my job record. My job record is key in making sure I > have a good and secure job. Having a good and secure job makes sure I > can support myself and my family. I need to support my family. My > family needs me. I need to have someone to need me. If no one needs me > I will be alone, isolated, rejected, a failure, and worthless. If I > have nothing and no one then I am nothing and no one and not capable > of joy, love, and gratitude. If I don't have joy, love, gratitude, I > could not handle it. If I cannot handle it, I will self-destruct in > grief, hate, and resentment. > > I know that was a rather long example but that is what anxiety and > fear (stress) urges us to avoid is our grief, hate, and resentment. > The paradox, though, is that we *believe* in grief, hate, and > resentment and stress is the apparent tool to get us out of it but it > actually creates *more* of it in our lives because of our underlying > belief. If you question whether or not that grief, hate, and > resentment exist is actually true, you might see that it is not. It is > merely a figment of our imagination like a dragon, yet we believe it > to be true and react to is as such. It is how we create our dream we > call 'reality'. > > Hope that wasn't too confusing. > > So, if I see that there can be no such thing as grief, hate, > resentment, isolation, rejection, failure, worthlessness, etc., then > I'll relax through all those layers of stress and be relaxed in the > presence of apparently *trying* to make me look like a fool. I > would have the clarity to know how to talk to my boss about the > situation and how to calmly and assertively and even with a sense of > humor address the issue of . I would also see where is > pointing out actual chips in my own character that make the work > environment less efficient and where I could improve my performance. > And if I see I do not want to exert the effort to make those changes, > I might see that this job is not a good fit for me. I might realize > that my true calling is elsewhere. However, if this job is a good fit > for me, then I would good-naturedly and effortlessly change aspects > about myself to better fit myself to the job and people like > might not feel a need to undermine me. But if is truly trying to > unjustly undermine me, I would dispassionately and efficiently put a > system in place that exposes such employees and their > morale-degrading, and performance-distracting behavior. > > Woo! > > That was fun to ponder. Hope any of that helped... > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2008 Report Share Posted February 8, 2008 -thanks thats helpful.. rh-- In Loving-what-is , " Jon Willis @ SELFHappiness.com " wrote: > > > I hadn't caught what was said about question 4 until now - I fidn it > hard to read postings with comments added into the original posting. > > I disagree about question 4 and using imagination - for me it is very > much imagining what I would feel like without this belief in my life - I > like to think of it as " reverse visualisation " - most visualisation > techniques seem to focus on life with things, whereas what I like about > question 4 is that it focuses on life without :-) > > For me when I do this it becomes an actual experience in the moment. > > One of the places I can get caught is trying with question 4 - I find > sitting back, taking a deep breath, letting go allows whatever feeling > to come up more easily. > > For me an image of an old window frame comes to mind, painted with > layers and layers of paint - I see the layers as the beliefs I have. > Sometimes all I can imagine is very slightly lifting off a layer of > paint just for a moment. But hey, what can you expect, some of these > layers of paint have been with me a long time! > > Also what I often helpful is to take the concept in the thought and > imagine not knowing what it is - for example, dishonesty - if I didn't > know what it meant. > > With much love, > > Jon x > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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