Guest guest Posted December 20, 2006 Report Share Posted December 20, 2006 Greg, If I understand correctly, you are asking if it's hard to put our BPD Mom's into one category. Yes? Personally, I would agree it is hard. Thankfully, my nada wasn't a witch. She's definitely the Queen with a bit of hermit in her. a > > Do any of you guys that have read Understanding the > Boardline Mother have a hard time getting her into > just one of the three others besides the Witch that > goes with all of them? > > Greg. > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2006 Report Share Posted December 20, 2006 Greg, I've also had a hard time fitting my nada into just one category -- she's really equal parts Queen, Hermit and Waif (and, of course, the Witch). The combination of all these qualities make up the different aspects of her personality EXACTLY -- it's very creepy to have read such accurate descriptions of who she is at different times, because she's constantly changing roles. But, since BPs have no core identity and change themselves in response to different people and situations, I figure this just goes with the territory. Freaky! Shana UBM: Nada in a Box To: WTOAdultChildren1 > Do any of you guys that have read Understanding the > Boardline Mother have a hard time getting her into > just one of the three others besides the Witch that > goes with all of them? > > Greg. > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2006 Report Share Posted December 21, 2006 Greg, I think of my Witch nada (when I think of her) as having overlapping traits from the Queen and a little Waif (whoopie for me!). There's no need for me to fit her into one box, although sometimes I'd like to -- and send her to the North Pole or somewhere else and see what THEY'D do with her! One Non-BP Recovering Man --- slarsen988@... wrote: > Greg, I've also had a hard time fitting my nada into > just one category -- she's really equal parts Queen, > Hermit and Waif (and, of course, the Witch). The > combination of all these qualities make up the > different aspects of her personality EXACTLY -- it's > very creepy to have read such accurate descriptions > of who she is at different times, because she's > constantly changing roles. > > But, since BPs have no core identity and change > themselves in response to different people and > situations, I figure this just goes with the > territory. > > Freaky! > > Shana > > > > UBM: Nada in a Box > To: WTOAdultChildren1 > > > Do any of you guys that have read Understanding > the > > Boardline Mother have a hard time getting her into > > just one of the three others besides the Witch > that > > goes with all of them? > > > > Greg. > > > > __________________________________________________ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2006 Report Share Posted December 21, 2006 For me when I read UBM I wrote in the book on the sides and then I would be able to see which personality she was when. To me it seemed nada would go through waves. For me it was impossible to put her in a box. Sometimes she could even be charming and sweet. Many people would not even believe me if I told them she was a nut job! Like she would go on and on " Lizzy is such a good kid she does all the work around the house cleaning and she is a saint to her sister " The next min when nobody was there " Lizzy when I get home I want the house cleaned top to bottom! " When my sister would cry she would bark orders for me to calm her down! I was just a child myself! She was much like Cinderella's wicked step mother " …and then there is the mending and the sewing and don't forget to give Lucifer his bath ahahahah! " She really had the queen in her to. I wanted more than anything this big pink plastic bubble ring. It was like all the girls in my class had. But nada would not see to that, I had to were diamonds, rubies, and emeralds anything to show off the queen. I was teased but she had me wear them I could not lose them I was called ungrateful. All I wanted was plastic jewels and pink cover girl lip gloss. I got clinique red lip stick and gold jewels! And for the record I usually like silver or white gold. She could also easily play the waif. I think the waif has been much more dominant in the last 4-6 years. The waif started to come out before I left. Along with the hermit. This was when I was starting to get out on my own she was trying to show me the way. Unfortunately or fortunately how ever you look at it? Not too many people saw the witch I sure did. The witch is very dominant in my mom and the people who have seen it are close to her but she can typically pull them back in by her charm. They just figure she is overly emotional, I know she is a wack! If it were up to my nada she would be a queen witch and she would have raised a hermit waif. But to bad so sad she didn't succeed. She wanted me to be helpless and afraid. But I learned to stand up. If I can make it through her I can make it through anything! She had the opposite affect. HAHA Nada! I think the confusing part of a bp is that you can see more than one trait in them. Helpless to control freak! They are like a big fruit cake a little of everything with extra nuts. Merry Christmas Love lizzy > > > Greg, I've also had a hard time fitting my nada into > > just one category -- she's really equal parts Queen, > > Hermit and Waif (and, of course, the Witch). The > > combination of all these qualities make up the > > different aspects of her personality EXACTLY -- it's > > very creepy to have read such accurate descriptions > > of who she is at different times, because she's > > constantly changing roles. > > > > But, since BPs have no core identity and change > > themselves in response to different people and > > situations, I figure this just goes with the > > territory. > > > > Freaky! > > > > Shana > > > > > > > > UBM: Nada in a Box > > To: WTOAdultChildren1 > > > > > Do any of you guys that have read Understanding > > the > > > Boardline Mother have a hard time getting her into > > > just one of the three others besides the Witch > > that > > > goes with all of them? > > > > > > Greg. > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 22, 2006 Report Share Posted December 22, 2006 Thanks for the reply, a. I've found this book to be very enlightening, memories are coming back from all over the place; benign - or so i thought - memories, that i understand now why she did what she did and he did what he did. My nada fits all four and primarily lives out of the Queen/Hermit. But if you cross her and it hits her deeply, the witch comes out and it is frightening. I " tricked " her into coming into therapy with me about 3 years ago for 3, 2.5 hour sessions during the time she was with me in Dallas. OH MY GOD. On the first visit, when the therapist asked her questions regarding her actions (my memories of her doing really, really bad things to me) after I brought it up and she didn't respond right away. My nada go up from the chair on her knees, crawled over to me and trapped me in my chair, using her body to push me/lock me in the chair. and my therapist could only see the back of her head (so my nada thought). She had the " Shark " look and her voice changed and I turned into this little child and said over and over and over again, " GET AWAY FROM ME " The therapist had to pull her off of me, as she was talking in a voice that my therapist didn't recognize (through her teeth). My therapist then asked her why she did that and she denied doing it!!!! Now, imagine how a child would make sense of this insanity; they can't except to blame themselves. Holy Moo! Merry Christmas. Greg. Re: UBM: Nada in a Box Greg, If I understand correctly, you are asking if it's hard to put our BPD Mom's into one category. Yes? Personally, I would agree it is hard. Thankfully, my nada wasn't a witch. She's definitely the Queen with a bit of hermit in her. a > > Do any of you guys that have read Understanding the > Boardline Mother have a hard time getting her into > just one of the three others besides the Witch that > goes with all of them? > > Greg. > > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 22, 2006 Report Share Posted December 22, 2006 Oh My God, Shana. My nada is so much like what you described of your nada. It has been really difficult to read about them, as it fits them to a t. The one area that I would disagree with the author is her logic. If you had this, than you will forever have that. The human spirit is to miraculous to be limited to " if x, than y, " and i think it a bit gradious of her to assume that of all KO's. In fact, I consider it damaging, not to mention the $40 for the damn book! LOL. I read on Amazon.com (where I didn't buy it) where she wrote an apology for " her publisher setting the price so high (and that she's going to see if she can get it down " RIGHT> Party Ohn and Merry Christmas!! ;o) Greg. UBM: Nada in a Box To: WTOAdultChildren1@ yahoogroups. com > Do any of you guys that have read Understanding the > Boardline Mother have a hard time getting her into > just one of the three others besides the Witch that > goes with all of them? > > Greg. > > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 22, 2006 Report Share Posted December 22, 2006 Wouldn't that be GREAT!! If she was stuffed in a box and Santa and the Elves had to deal with her!! I love it. Love conquers All, except Lionel Richie's daughter's drug habit. just kidding. I'm soooo sorry that you has sooo much of a Witch nada. Mine was a bit of all four and I could always tell (still can) by the tone in her voice. eWWWWWWWW!! Crate her up too! Merry Christmas! Greg. UBM: Nada in a Box > To: WTOAdultChildren1@ yahoogroups. com > > > Do any of you guys that have read Understanding > the > > Boardline Mother have a hard time getting her into > > just one of the three others besides the Witch > that > > goes with all of them? > > > > Greg. > > > > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 22, 2006 Report Share Posted December 22, 2006 Lizzy, I loved your post and it is so true what you wrote. That inconsistency and randomness is what does such deep damage to children. And I agree that our nadas are fruitcakes, which of course, everyone hates getting one of those for Christmas!!! Merry Christmas!! Greg. UBM: Nada in a Box > > To: WTOAdultChildren1@ yahoogroups. com > > > > > Do any of you guys that have read Understanding > > the > > > Boardline Mother have a hard time getting her into > > > just one of the three others besides the Witch > > that > > > goes with all of them? > > > > > > Greg. > > > > > > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.