Guest guest Posted January 9, 2007 Report Share Posted January 9, 2007 and Kath, Thanks for the laughs. You know, you might be a KO if you try to break up a FOO fight and they look at you like YOU'RE the crazy one. One Non-BP Recovering Man --- Kath wrote: > Replace Fada with Nada as it applies to you; > > You might be a KO if your Fada's way of " punishing " > you for breaking > your own toy is to break several more himself, then > tells you to clean > up the mess you made. > > You might be a KO if your Fada suggests the only way > you'll ever keep > a husband is to be sure to give him enough blowjobs. > > > You might be a KO if your Fada flirts with every > cashier/banker/attendant in front of you by calling > them " lovie, " > " hun, " or " babe. " > > You might be a KO if you know the gifts Fada gives > you are really > about how much you appreciate him for giving them. > > You might be a KO if you're Fada is proud of having > bought a cooler > full of softballs, " all for just a dollar at the > yard sale! " > > You might be a KO if said cooler full of softballs > sits among other > piles of useless junk acquired at yardsales, or just > never thrown > away, " in case we need it sometime. " > > You might be a KO if you are used to being referred > to by Fada in > relation to himself. You are Fada's child, child of > Fada's wife, or > the one still living under Fada's roof. > > You might be a KO if you are afraid to tell your > family about big > life-events, for fear that Fada will interfere or > want to run the party. > > You might be a KO if your Fada is insulted when you > voice your own > opinion about something, or try to implement your > own control over a > situation. > > You might be a KO if, in response to being > " personally insulted, " Fada > proceeds to one-up you by insulting himself, and > then turns to insult > you the most degrading way he knows how. > > You might be a redneck-KO if your Maw steals your > boyfriend, then > yells at you for letting her date her own nephew.... > > > > > > > > Since I'm now officially a resident of Tennessee > and no longer one of > > Michigan, I figured I'd post in the spirit of > such. Jeff Foxworthy has > > his harsh stereotyping bit, called you might be a > " ***neck " . I figured > > why not do I parity of this that doesn't > disenfranchise any of us > > (including myself proudly living in ole Dixie > land) , but allows us to > > laugh or shun our nada's backward ways. > > > > You might be a KO if your mother takes you to > therapy and sits in on > > the session (nada talks about your " problems:lack > of respect, > > depression, anger problem, way you dress, company > you keep etc. " , all > > the while basically malling boundaries and ethical > codes medicine and > > crating you a huge distrust for the profession. We > all HOPE for the > > day our nada may make the mistake of thinking the > state appointed > > shrink is her friend and demonstrates her > Machiavellian modes and > > ends, but that's just pipe dreams. She operates > within the laws of > > self preservation, darn it! > > > > You might be a KO if your mother is getting ready > to intently bite > > down on a Lara,Weight Watcher's bar,(acting in and > out, either one) > > burgerX10 or what have you and state the phrase > god I'm dying (of > > hunger). Of course amply conditioning you to her > words that will keep > > you from departing her. Instead of the boy/nada > that cries wolf it > > seems to be she is readying you for all time > favorite trick guilt and > > apathy. > > > > You might be a KO if wake up to sound of nada > trudging around the > > house with a vacuum cleaner blaring at 8:00am, > then loudly opens your > > door to remind you: " its YOUR friends coming > over... get out here and > > clean this filthy house! I'm out here working my > hand to the bone! " > > Message: " How dare you spring this on me! " So its > your fault she's > > slaving away? Yet the house is cleaner than most > of your peers houses? > > What the ****! > > > > > > > > You might be a KO if you compare your family to > other families (boy do > > you wanna see a pissed off nada!). She might say > " its not fair to > > compare " , " nothing perfect " or look at so an so's > mom/dad there all > > f***** up do you wanna be like that! " Then your > shunned for comparing > > and that's when she mimics your behavior with a > huge BPD twist, nada > > compares you to your friends. Holy emotional > vertigo! The most brutal > > part of it, is that you can't even do long > division yet, so what! > > > > You also might be a KO if nada calls you right > before a critical > > moment of your life, to remind that Giraldo had an > hour long ex posy > > on the bird flu pandemic that is going to take > your life at any > > moment and has already overnighted a months supply > of Tamaflu (mine > > really did). Even worse is when Trump, > Rosie, Andy Rooney > > Dr.Phil or Oprah has given nada earth shattering > that will change her > > or even worse, your life better. > > > > You might be a KO if your nada shops non-stop on > QVC and then verbally > > assaults you for asking for lunch money as a 11 yr > old child. " What > > happen to the $20 I gave you last week, fools and > there money will > > soon part, huh! " > > > > You might be a KO if she let's you knowingly drink > as a child then > > grind her teeth when the your friends parents call > and crack down the > > the adolescent speak easy. Nada's so scared of how > she will look in > > front of the neighbors. Your wellbeing, forget it. > > > > You might be a KO if nada steals all your lingo > and maybe your > > identity because she has no concept of her own. > > > > You might be a KO if you feel you've been slimmed > when nada bogusly > > tries to reward/congratulate you in front of your > peers or relatives. > > > > You might be a KO if your stepfada/fada has been > sicked on unknowing > > individuals, therefore resulting in his life being > absent of friends > > and him freeing up more time to take orders from > the goose stepper. > > > > You might be a KO if your family/extended has > turned into fleeing > > refugees that have moved fast and far from the > epicenter of the chaos. > > > > You might be a KO if you feel like the eyes you > see through are > > watching someone else's life and not your own, nor > do you feel present > > to the moment or your being. > > > > Your probably a KO if your between the ages 1-100 > and you get really > > sad and angry when you watch the family channel, > especially the guy > > that's in that one family show from the 80's. You > know " I remember to > > check ma blood often " , that guy. Talk about a > model for the idealized > > family, they even through a divorce in there to > make it more life > like. > > > > You might be a KO if your nada looses her keys and > she projects that > > frustration onto you, as if it were your fault; > " why do I feel like > > such a burden or a thief? " > > > > You might be a KO if your constantly picking sides > on with the FOO and > > being conditioned to stay by her if her worst fear > ever comes, (being > > found out resulting in everyone leaving her) this > might give a stick > > in the mud feeling. > > > > > > You might be a KO if nada's obsessed with aging, > vanity and the est > > ethics of physical appearance of others and her > self. She'll let you > > know where you, your children and spouse fall on > that spectrum with > > her passive aggressive language that dives deep > into your sub > > conscience. Since she is all knowing and > Omnipotent. > > > > > > > > > > They say ignorance is bliss, but I think I'm luck > to know that I'm a > > KO.I feel very, very sad (not pity, pity is > something people need to > > feel better about there position) for those who > are unknowing and are > > still lost in the storm. It hurts to know the > truth, but knowing gives > > me the power to change what is attracted to me. > I'll always be a KO, > > and I love who I am. > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2007 Report Share Posted January 11, 2007 Good post, , very interesting, some things a bit comical, many things unfortunately very sad. We love who you are too! YOu might be a KO when your nada professes that no child was more loved than you, and then goes on to tell you that she can no longer love you because of how bad you are. Sylvia > > Since I'm now officially a resident of Tennessee and no longer one of > Michigan, I figured I'd post in the spirit of such. Jeff Foxworthy has > his harsh stereotyping bit, called you might be a " ***neck " . I figured > why not do I parity of this that doesn't disenfranchise any of us > (including myself proudly living in ole Dixie land) , but allows us to > laugh or shun our nada's backward ways. > > You might be a KO if your mother takes you to therapy and sits in on > the session (nada talks about your " problems:lack of respect, > depression, anger problem, way you dress, company you keep etc. " , all > the while basically malling boundaries and ethical codes medicine and > crating you a huge distrust for the profession. We all HOPE for the > day our nada may make the mistake of thinking the state appointed > shrink is her friend and demonstrates her Machiavellian modes and > ends, but that's just pipe dreams. She operates within the laws of > self preservation, darn it! > > You might be a KO if your mother is getting ready to intently bite > down on a Lara,Weight Watcher's bar,(acting in and out, either one) > burgerX10 or what have you and state the phrase god I'm dying (of > hunger). Of course amply conditioning you to her words that will keep > you from departing her. Instead of the boy/nada that cries wolf it > seems to be she is readying you for all time favorite trick guilt and > apathy. > > You might be a KO if wake up to sound of nada trudging around the > house with a vacuum cleaner blaring at 8:00am, then loudly opens your > door to remind you: " its YOUR friends coming over... get out here and > clean this filthy house! I'm out here working my hand to the bone! " > Message: " How dare you spring this on me! " So its your fault she's > slaving away? Yet the house is cleaner than most of your peers houses? > What the ****! > > > > You might be a KO if you compare your family to other families (boy do > you wanna see a pissed off nada!). She might say " its not fair to > compare " , " nothing perfect " or look at so an so's mom/dad there all > f***** up do you wanna be like that! " Then your shunned for comparing > and that's when she mimics your behavior with a huge BPD twist, nada > compares you to your friends. Holy emotional vertigo! The most brutal > part of it, is that you can't even do long division yet, so what! > > You also might be a KO if nada calls you right before a critical > moment of your life, to remind that Giraldo had an hour long ex posy > on the bird flu pandemic that is going to take your life at any > moment and has already overnighted a months supply of Tamaflu (mine > really did). Even worse is when Trump, Rosie, Andy Rooney > Dr.Phil or Oprah has given nada earth shattering that will change her > or even worse, your life better. > > You might be a KO if your nada shops non-stop on QVC and then verbally > assaults you for asking for lunch money as a 11 yr old child. " What > happen to the $20 I gave you last week, fools and there money will > soon part, huh! " > > You might be a KO if she let's you knowingly drink as a child then > grind her teeth when the your friends parents call and crack down the > the adolescent speak easy. Nada's so scared of how she will look in > front of the neighbors. Your wellbeing, forget it. > > You might be a KO if nada steals all your lingo and maybe your > identity because she has no concept of her own. > > You might be a KO if you feel you've been slimmed when nada bogusly > tries to reward/congratulate you in front of your peers or relatives. > > You might be a KO if your stepfada/fada has been sicked on unknowing > individuals, therefore resulting in his life being absent of friends > and him freeing up more time to take orders from the goose stepper. > > You might be a KO if your family/extended has turned into fleeing > refugees that have moved fast and far from the epicenter of the chaos. > > You might be a KO if you feel like the eyes you see through are > watching someone else's life and not your own, nor do you feel present > to the moment or your being. > > Your probably a KO if your between the ages 1-100 and you get really > sad and angry when you watch the family channel, especially the guy > that's in that one family show from the 80's. You know " I remember to > check ma blood often " , that guy. Talk about a model for the idealized > family, they even through a divorce in there to make it more life like. > > You might be a KO if your nada looses her keys and she projects that > frustration onto you, as if it were your fault; " why do I feel like > such a burden or a thief? " > > You might be a KO if your constantly picking sides on with the FOO and > being conditioned to stay by her if her worst fear ever comes, (being > found out resulting in everyone leaving her) this might give a stick > in the mud feeling. > > > You might be a KO if nada's obsessed with aging, vanity and the est > ethics of physical appearance of others and her self. She'll let you > know where you, your children and spouse fall on that spectrum with > her passive aggressive language that dives deep into your sub > conscience. Since she is all knowing and Omnipotent. > > > > > They say ignorance is bliss, but I think I'm luck to know that I'm a > KO.I feel very, very sad (not pity, pity is something people need to > feel better about there position) for those who are unknowing and are > still lost in the storm. It hurts to know the truth, but knowing gives > me the power to change what is attracted to me. I'll always be a KO, > and I love who I am. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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