Re: Re: Good Daughter (formerly New to group)

[Guest guest]

Dee, buscar and All,

Dee, I had those same experiences about the different

nada voices and about the feeling of having my energy

sucked out of me, and I felt the same ways. Life is

so much better when I don't think about those things.

One Non-BP Recovering Man

--- gmat60 wrote:

>

> <<<I only

> >know I get a pit in my stomach even writing about

> putting on the

> >act. Maybe it has to do with the excessive

> closeness she has wanted

> >with me and my sibs feels kind of incestuous.>>>

>

> I just wanted to comment about this statement. I

> also felt icky at

> the closeness she wanted. Way back when I was

> growing up I remember

> not liking to have her touch me. It wasn't a

> constant thing and felt

> uncomfortable when she did. Of course, it made me

> feel like something

> was wrong with me that I had those feelings. Now, I

> finally

> understand that even though I didn't know anything

> about BPD, I always

> knew something was not OK with her. I remember

> responding with the

> same kinds of feelings when I would awaken in the

> morning and hear her

> on the phone with one of her friends. She had a

> totally different

> voice for them. It seemed so phony to me. I was

> very young when I

> felt that. She was such an actress. Her tone and

> demeanor changed

> for each role she would play.

>

> As far as closeness, I think of it as feeling

> smothered. My one

> sister and I always spoke of being with her as

> having all your blood

> sucked out, and your marrow too. Being around her

> drained us of all

> energy. No wonder we dreaded it. But her hold on

> us made us feel too

> guilty to ever say no to a request to spend time

> with her. It is all

> so complicated. Makes me tired just to remember how

> I felt back then.

> Dee

>

>

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