Reflections on 2004 and your part in the year of keeping in touch.

[Guest guest]

For the last few weeks, I've been thinking about 2004 and boy...What a YEAR!!!!

I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your

chain letters over the past year.

Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.

Because of your concern:

I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products

(supposly) are 'atheists' who refuse to put " Under God " on their cans.

I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from the rat

feces and urine.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could get pricked with

a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer causing deodorants even though I smell like a water

buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume

sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda

in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they don't support our American troops.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a stupid number

for which I will get the phone bill from HELL with calls to Jamaica, Uganda,

Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks

with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now HAVE their

recipe.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 Angels looking out for

Me.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to

die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the

$15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special

E-mail program.

Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking out for me !!!

I will now return the favor. If you don't send this E-mail to at least 1200

people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will crap on your head

at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your

armpits. I know this will occur because .... it actually happened to a friend of

a friend

~ " We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a

little of each other everywhere. " ~ ~ " If I could reach up and hold a star for

every time you've made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of

my hand. " ~