Fw: [blind-married] OT Christmas Food Rules

[Guest guest]

[blind-married] OT Christmas Food Rules

this may go along with the food discussion

Christmas Food Rules

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table

knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave

immediately. Go next door where they are serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt

scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch because

you can't find it any other time of the year but now. So drink up! Who cares

that is has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn

into an eggnonog-aholic or something. It's a treat - enjoy it! Have one for

me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, eat it. That's the whole point of gravy.

Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed

potatoes and fill it up with gravy. Eat the whole volcano. Repeat.

4. Only eat mashed potatoes made with whole milk and cream. If they're made

with skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic

transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your

eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other

people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?!

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between Christmas and New Year's.

You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time

for taking long naps which you will need after circling the buffet table while

carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at the buffet table, like

frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself

near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center

of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them

behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if

you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three.

When else do you get to have more than one dessert.... Labor day?

9. One final tip: if you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get

up from the table you haven't been paying attention. You will need to remain

until the threat abandoning the leftovers has passed.

Reread the tips; start over, but hurry - January is just around the corner!

Have a Merry Christmas everyone !!

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[Guest guest]

LOL

regards,

[blind-married] OT Christmas Food Rules

>

>

> this may go along with the food discussion

>

> Christmas Food Rules

>

>

> 1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table

> knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave

> immediately. Go next door where they are serving rum balls.

>

> 2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt

> scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch

because

> you can't find it any other time of the year but now. So drink up! Who

cares

> that is has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to

turn

> into an eggnonog-aholic or something. It's a treat - enjoy it! Have one

for

> me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

>

> 3. If something comes with gravy, eat it. That's the whole point of gravy.

> Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed

> potatoes and fill it up with gravy. Eat the whole volcano. Repeat.

>

> 4. Only eat mashed potatoes made with whole milk and cream. If they're

made

> with skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an

automatic

> transmission.

>

> 5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control

your

> eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other

> people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?!

>

> 6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between Christmas and New

Year's.

> You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the

time

> for taking long naps which you will need after circling the buffet table

while

> carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

>

> 7. If you come across something really good at the buffet table, like

> frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position

yourself

> near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the

center

> of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them

> behind, you're never going to see them again.

>

> 8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or,

if

> you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have

three.

> When else do you get to have more than one dessert.... Labor day?

>

> 9. One final tip: if you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or

get

> up from the table you haven't been paying attention. You will need to

remain

> until the threat abandoning the leftovers has passed.

>

> Reread the tips; start over, but hurry - January is just around the

corner!

>

> Have a Merry Christmas everyone !!

>

>

>

>

> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

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>