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Why me syndrom today

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As I sit here tonight, reading what other's have posted today, I

started thinking about my situation, my chronic back pain, and my

clinical depression and the fact that the pain gets worse every day. It

just, well it just makes me mad. Mad that I can't do normal things with

my husband. Mad because I can't keep up anymore, mad that I wear out so

fast.

A couple weekends ago, hubby and I went to the flea market, well I was

only able to walk around for about 20 mins, and that was it for the

day. I just couldn't take one more step. That's pretty pathetic for a

45 year old. I can barely go to the grocery store anymore without

getting tired.

Life for me, mostly consists of being home, doing little chores here,

resting in bed a lot, taking care of my dog and parrot, which bring me

great joy. My animals and my husband keep me going, keep me sane.

Sometimes I feel useless, worthless. Because I can't do what a normal

person can do. I wish I could get out of this way of thinking. I cry,

when I'm by myself a lot. It helps, but obviously doesn't solve the

problem.

Thank goodness I have this group to come to and cry and vent, without it

I would be lost. Thanks for listening and understanding and allowing me

just to get it off my chest.

Leigh

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