Guest guest Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 Hi Ann,....Not sure what that site is, but just wait because someone will post it for you. It's very hard to explain your illness. They see you healthy looking, and they just don't understand. They hear the word, " arthritis " , and think put some bengay on it, and quit whining. Also, an idea! You might go on www.arthritis.org you can get some free brochures sent to you, and just let them read those. I hope they are considerate, and take the time to try to fully understand what your going through. Your doing your best at your job. I would take the time for a bathroom break, and just do what you are capable of. You can't push yourself, Ann. Take care of yourself, Tawny > > I don't post much but I read all posts. My name is Ann and I'm > trying to find an old post where I " think " the title was " But, you > don't look sick. " I'm trying to gather my thoughts together to > explain to my office manager and my boss, exactly how this disease > affects my everyday life. Of course, they're both men so I must keep > it short and sweet, anything longer than 2 or 3 sentences and I've > lost them. I've tried the old Spoons theory but they can't sit > still that long. So, whatever it is, it has to be succinct and to > the point. I'm a paralegal in a law office and there are times when > we are so busy and pushed for time that I can't even take the time > to go to the bathroom. I can't pick up more than one file at a time > out of the filing cabinet, I can't bend over a conference table for > projects that require spreading papers out, I can't sit in > conferences for long periods without getting up and moving around. > You've all been there, how do you explain to them? > > Thanks > Ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 Thanks! I'll look at the arthritis web site and here's hoping someone remembers that post. And, you're right, my office manager actually told me, get this " Yeah, I've got arthritis in my thumbs, but I just take an Advil and it's gone. Maybe you should try Advil. " ..yeah. > > > > I don't post much but I read all posts. My name is Ann and I'm > > trying to find an old post where I " think " the title was " But, you > > don't look sick. " I'm trying to gather my thoughts together to > > explain to my office manager and my boss, exactly how this disease > > affects my everyday life. Of course, they're both men so I must > keep > > it short and sweet, anything longer than 2 or 3 sentences and I've > > lost them. I've tried the old Spoons theory but they can't sit > > still that long. So, whatever it is, it has to be succinct and to > > the point. I'm a paralegal in a law office and there are times > when > > we are so busy and pushed for time that I can't even take the time > > to go to the bathroom. I can't pick up more than one file at a time > > out of the filing cabinet, I can't bend over a conference table for > > projects that require spreading papers out, I can't sit in > > conferences for long periods without getting up and moving around. > > You've all been there, how do you explain to them? > > > > Thanks > > Ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 Hi Ann - someone told me they say - 'I have RA' & when asked what is that, the reply is 'it is an auto immune disease where my body attacks & destroys my hands & feet' I think that is quite a good reply, succinct & to the point. It could be elaborated on slightly to fit whatever joints are affected. I would really like to see a name change from rheumatoid arthritis to rheumatoid disease. Has anyone suggestions who to approach & how we could go about this. People in general hear the word arthritis & think it is an aching bigtoe like grandma had! One of the hardest things for me about RA is seemingly no-one understands what it is & we often look quite healthy. Holly [ ] Re: can't remember > > > Hi Ann,....Not sure what that site is, but just wait because someone > will post it for you. It's very hard to explain your illness. They > see you healthy looking, and they just don't understand. They hear > the word, " arthritis " , and think put some bengay on it, and quit > whining. > Also, an idea! You might go on www.arthritis.org you can get some > free brochures sent to you, and just let them read those. I hope > they are considerate, and take the time to try to fully understand > what your going through. > Your doing your best at your job. I would take the time for a > bathroom break, and just do what you are capable of. You can't push > yourself, Ann. Take care of yourself, Tawny > > > > > > > > > I don't post much but I read all posts. My name is Ann and I'm > > trying to find an old post where I " think " the title was " But, you > > don't look sick. " I'm trying to gather my thoughts together to > > explain to my office manager and my boss, exactly how this disease > > affects my everyday life. Of course, they're both men so I must > keep > > it short and sweet, anything longer than 2 or 3 sentences and I've > > lost them. I've tried the old Spoons theory but they can't sit > > still that long. So, whatever it is, it has to be succinct and to > > the point. I'm a paralegal in a law office and there are times > when > > we are so busy and pushed for time that I can't even take the time > > to go to the bathroom. I can't pick up more than one file at a time > > out of the filing cabinet, I can't bend over a conference table for > > projects that require spreading papers out, I can't sit in > > conferences for long periods without getting up and moving around. > > You've all been there, how do you explain to them? > > > > Thanks > > Ann > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 Hi Ann - someone told me they say - 'I have RA' & when asked what is that, the reply is 'it is an auto immune disease where my body attacks & destroys my hands & feet' I think that is quite a good reply, succinct & to the point. It could be elaborated on slightly to fit whatever joints are affected. I would really like to see a name change from rheumatoid arthritis to rheumatoid disease. Has anyone suggestions who to approach & how we could go about this. People in general hear the word arthritis & think it is an aching bigtoe like grandma had! One of the hardest things for me about RA is seemingly no-one understands what it is & we often look quite healthy. Holly [ ] Re: can't remember > > > Hi Ann,....Not sure what that site is, but just wait because someone > will post it for you. It's very hard to explain your illness. They > see you healthy looking, and they just don't understand. They hear > the word, " arthritis " , and think put some bengay on it, and quit > whining. > Also, an idea! You might go on www.arthritis.org you can get some > free brochures sent to you, and just let them read those. I hope > they are considerate, and take the time to try to fully understand > what your going through. > Your doing your best at your job. I would take the time for a > bathroom break, and just do what you are capable of. You can't push > yourself, Ann. Take care of yourself, Tawny > > > > > > > > > I don't post much but I read all posts. My name is Ann and I'm > > trying to find an old post where I " think " the title was " But, you > > don't look sick. " I'm trying to gather my thoughts together to > > explain to my office manager and my boss, exactly how this disease > > affects my everyday life. Of course, they're both men so I must > keep > > it short and sweet, anything longer than 2 or 3 sentences and I've > > lost them. I've tried the old Spoons theory but they can't sit > > still that long. So, whatever it is, it has to be succinct and to > > the point. I'm a paralegal in a law office and there are times > when > > we are so busy and pushed for time that I can't even take the time > > to go to the bathroom. I can't pick up more than one file at a time > > out of the filing cabinet, I can't bend over a conference table for > > projects that require spreading papers out, I can't sit in > > conferences for long periods without getting up and moving around. > > You've all been there, how do you explain to them? > > > > Thanks > > Ann > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 Hi Ann -- I posted that note and the website is just that ... _www.butyoudontlooksick.com_ (http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com) . You can look there for some tips and other info. As far as talking to the partners (I work with folks on communication challenges a lot), I would first ask you: what do you want as a result of the conversation? Do you want them to understand you? To help you? To bring in more help? To give you time off? What? Answer that question for yourself and then plan the conversation beginning with the end result in mind. Once you have that, work back and get very succinct with what you want to say. But definitely be clear about why you are having the conversation and what you want as a result of the conversation. Let us know how it goes! We're holding the space for an excellent and productive conversation with the outcome focused on your highest good! Love and Prayers, Beth ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Philippians 4:8 (The Message): Friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things that are true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious -- the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 Hi Ann -- I posted that note and the website is just that ... _www.butyoudontlooksick.com_ (http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com) . You can look there for some tips and other info. As far as talking to the partners (I work with folks on communication challenges a lot), I would first ask you: what do you want as a result of the conversation? Do you want them to understand you? To help you? To bring in more help? To give you time off? What? Answer that question for yourself and then plan the conversation beginning with the end result in mind. Once you have that, work back and get very succinct with what you want to say. But definitely be clear about why you are having the conversation and what you want as a result of the conversation. Let us know how it goes! We're holding the space for an excellent and productive conversation with the outcome focused on your highest good! Love and Prayers, Beth ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Philippians 4:8 (The Message): Friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things that are true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious -- the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 YOU tell them " pretend you have the flu, a real bad flu, now put your hand on the table and let me hit it with a hammer , when you are wrenching from that I will hit you on the knees, elbow and neck..then drop the hammer on your feet, get it? " " now go pick up that file box " -------------- Original message -------------- I don't post much but I read all posts. My name is Ann and I'm trying to find an old post where I " think " the title was " But, you don't look sick. " I'm trying to gather my thoughts together to explain to my office manager and my boss, exactly how this disease affects my everyday life. Of course, they're both men so I must keep it short and sweet, anything longer than 2 or 3 sentences and I've lost them. I've tried the old Spoons theory but they can't sit still that long. So, whatever it is, it has to be succinct and to the point. I'm a paralegal in a law office and there are times when we are so busy and pushed for time that I can't even take the time to go to the bathroom. I can't pick up more than one file at a time out of the filing cabinet, I can't bend over a conference table for projects that require spreading papers out, I can't sit in conferences for long periods without getting up and moving around. You've all been there, how do you explain to them? Thanks Ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 YOU tell them " pretend you have the flu, a real bad flu, now put your hand on the table and let me hit it with a hammer , when you are wrenching from that I will hit you on the knees, elbow and neck..then drop the hammer on your feet, get it? " " now go pick up that file box " -------------- Original message -------------- I don't post much but I read all posts. My name is Ann and I'm trying to find an old post where I " think " the title was " But, you don't look sick. " I'm trying to gather my thoughts together to explain to my office manager and my boss, exactly how this disease affects my everyday life. Of course, they're both men so I must keep it short and sweet, anything longer than 2 or 3 sentences and I've lost them. I've tried the old Spoons theory but they can't sit still that long. So, whatever it is, it has to be succinct and to the point. I'm a paralegal in a law office and there are times when we are so busy and pushed for time that I can't even take the time to go to the bathroom. I can't pick up more than one file at a time out of the filing cabinet, I can't bend over a conference table for projects that require spreading papers out, I can't sit in conferences for long periods without getting up and moving around. You've all been there, how do you explain to them? Thanks Ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 Ann, wouldn't you just love to tell that person, " Thanks, I never thought of that. Advil, you say. Never heard of it. " I'll tell you where to go! Mayo Clinic in Rochester http://www.mayoclinic.org/rochester s Hopkins Medicine http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org [ ] Re: can't remember > > > Thanks! I'll look at the arthritis web site and here's hoping > someone remembers that post. And, you're right, my office manager > actually told me, get this " Yeah, I've got arthritis in my thumbs, > but I just take an Advil and it's gone. Maybe you should try > Advil. " ..yeah. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 Ann, wouldn't you just love to tell that person, " Thanks, I never thought of that. Advil, you say. Never heard of it. " I'll tell you where to go! Mayo Clinic in Rochester http://www.mayoclinic.org/rochester s Hopkins Medicine http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org [ ] Re: can't remember > > > Thanks! I'll look at the arthritis web site and here's hoping > someone remembers that post. And, you're right, my office manager > actually told me, get this " Yeah, I've got arthritis in my thumbs, > but I just take an Advil and it's gone. Maybe you should try > Advil. " ..yeah. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/spoons.htm This is the site... but it is the spoon theory story -------------- Original message -------------- Thanks! I'll look at the arthritis web site and here's hoping someone remembers that post. And, you're right, my office manager actually told me, get this " Yeah, I've got arthritis in my thumbs, but I just take an Advil and it's gone. Maybe you should try Advil. " ..yeah. > > > > I don't post much but I read all posts. My name is Ann and I'm > > trying to find an old post where I " think " the title was " But, you > > don't look sick. " I'm trying to gather my thoughts together to > > explain to my office manager and my boss, exactly how this disease > > affects my everyday life. Of course, they're both men so I must > keep > > it short and sweet, anything longer than 2 or 3 sentences and I've > > lost them. I've tried the old Spoons theory but they can't sit > > still that long. So, whatever it is, it has to be succinct and to > > the point. I'm a paralegal in a law office and there are times > when > > we are so busy and pushed for time that I can't even take the time > > to go to the bathroom. I can't pick up more than one file at a time > > out of the filing cabinet, I can't bend over a conference table for > > projects that require spreading papers out, I can't sit in > > conferences for long periods without getting up and moving around. > > You've all been there, how do you explain to them? > > > > Thanks > > Ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/spoons.htm This is the site... but it is the spoon theory story -------------- Original message -------------- Thanks! I'll look at the arthritis web site and here's hoping someone remembers that post. And, you're right, my office manager actually told me, get this " Yeah, I've got arthritis in my thumbs, but I just take an Advil and it's gone. Maybe you should try Advil. " ..yeah. > > > > I don't post much but I read all posts. My name is Ann and I'm > > trying to find an old post where I " think " the title was " But, you > > don't look sick. " I'm trying to gather my thoughts together to > > explain to my office manager and my boss, exactly how this disease > > affects my everyday life. Of course, they're both men so I must > keep > > it short and sweet, anything longer than 2 or 3 sentences and I've > > lost them. I've tried the old Spoons theory but they can't sit > > still that long. So, whatever it is, it has to be succinct and to > > the point. I'm a paralegal in a law office and there are times > when > > we are so busy and pushed for time that I can't even take the time > > to go to the bathroom. I can't pick up more than one file at a time > > out of the filing cabinet, I can't bend over a conference table for > > projects that require spreading papers out, I can't sit in > > conferences for long periods without getting up and moving around. > > You've all been there, how do you explain to them? > > > > Thanks > > Ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 holly, i agree totally... my husband does understand but sometimes, he says things like, your hand is hurting real bad... why, you did not fo anything to day! yeah, right, i only did 2 sets of nails baby sat my 2 grandkids for 1 1/2 hr.. aand fixed dinner for 14 people because it was our son in laws birthday... cleaned up.... then because of the look i gave him, he felt bad.. he got up and loaded both dishwashers... ) sometimes, even the ones real close to us seem to forget because we look ok... i make it a point to get up, get dressed (not matter how hard it is) and put on my make-up... then the rest of the day is up in the air... ha ha ha but at least i look good! ha h ah a rae [ ] Re: can't remember > > > Hi Ann,....Not sure what that site is, but just wait because someone > will post it for you. It's very hard to explain your illness. They > see you healthy looking, and they just don't understand. They hear > the word, " arthritis " , and think put some bengay on it, and quit > whining. > Also, an idea! You might go on www.arthritis.org you can get some > free brochures sent to you, and just let them read those. I hope > they are considerate, and take the time to try to fully understand > what your going through. > Your doing your best at your job. I would take the time for a > bathroom break, and just do what you are capable of. You can't push > yourself, Ann. Take care of yourself, Tawny > > > > > > > > > I don't post much but I read all posts. My name is Ann and I'm > > trying to find an old post where I " think " the title was " But, you > > don't look sick. " I'm trying to gather my thoughts together to > > explain to my office manager and my boss, exactly how this disease > > affects my everyday life. Of course, they're both men so I must > keep > > it short and sweet, anything longer than 2 or 3 sentences and I've > > lost them. I've tried the old Spoons theory but they can't sit > > still that long. So, whatever it is, it has to be succinct and to > > the point. I'm a paralegal in a law office and there are times > when > > we are so busy and pushed for time that I can't even take the time > > to go to the bathroom. I can't pick up more than one file at a time > > out of the filing cabinet, I can't bend over a conference table for > > projects that require spreading papers out, I can't sit in > > conferences for long periods without getting up and moving around. > > You've all been there, how do you explain to them? > > > > Thanks > > Ann > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 holly, i agree totally... my husband does understand but sometimes, he says things like, your hand is hurting real bad... why, you did not fo anything to day! yeah, right, i only did 2 sets of nails baby sat my 2 grandkids for 1 1/2 hr.. aand fixed dinner for 14 people because it was our son in laws birthday... cleaned up.... then because of the look i gave him, he felt bad.. he got up and loaded both dishwashers... ) sometimes, even the ones real close to us seem to forget because we look ok... i make it a point to get up, get dressed (not matter how hard it is) and put on my make-up... then the rest of the day is up in the air... ha ha ha but at least i look good! ha h ah a rae [ ] Re: can't remember > > > Hi Ann,....Not sure what that site is, but just wait because someone > will post it for you. It's very hard to explain your illness. They > see you healthy looking, and they just don't understand. They hear > the word, " arthritis " , and think put some bengay on it, and quit > whining. > Also, an idea! You might go on www.arthritis.org you can get some > free brochures sent to you, and just let them read those. I hope > they are considerate, and take the time to try to fully understand > what your going through. > Your doing your best at your job. I would take the time for a > bathroom break, and just do what you are capable of. You can't push > yourself, Ann. Take care of yourself, Tawny > > > > > > > > > I don't post much but I read all posts. My name is Ann and I'm > > trying to find an old post where I " think " the title was " But, you > > don't look sick. " I'm trying to gather my thoughts together to > > explain to my office manager and my boss, exactly how this disease > > affects my everyday life. Of course, they're both men so I must > keep > > it short and sweet, anything longer than 2 or 3 sentences and I've > > lost them. I've tried the old Spoons theory but they can't sit > > still that long. So, whatever it is, it has to be succinct and to > > the point. I'm a paralegal in a law office and there are times > when > > we are so busy and pushed for time that I can't even take the time > > to go to the bathroom. I can't pick up more than one file at a time > > out of the filing cabinet, I can't bend over a conference table for > > projects that require spreading papers out, I can't sit in > > conferences for long periods without getting up and moving around. > > You've all been there, how do you explain to them? > > > > Thanks > > Ann > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 that was a good way to put it... ha ha hah a..... rae Re: [ ] can't remember YOU tell them " pretend you have the flu, a real bad flu, now put your hand on the table and let me hit it with a hammer , when you are wrenching from that I will hit you on the knees, elbow and neck..then drop the hammer on your feet, get it? " " now go pick up that file box " -------------- Original message -------------- I don't post much but I read all posts. My name is Ann and I'm trying to find an old post where I " think " the title was " But, you don't look sick. " I'm trying to gather my thoughts together to explain to my office manager and my boss, exactly how this disease affects my everyday life. Of course, they're both men so I must keep it short and sweet, anything longer than 2 or 3 sentences and I've lost them. I've tried the old Spoons theory but they can't sit still that long. So, whatever it is, it has to be succinct and to the point. I'm a paralegal in a law office and there are times when we are so busy and pushed for time that I can't even take the time to go to the bathroom. I can't pick up more than one file at a time out of the filing cabinet, I can't bend over a conference table for projects that require spreading papers out, I can't sit in conferences for long periods without getting up and moving around. You've all been there, how do you explain to them? Thanks Ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 18, 2005 Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 Thank you all for your suggestions about talking to my boss and office manager. Beth, you are right, I'll approach this from the result that I want. And, Pat you know what I'm trying to accomplish and the pressure I'm working under. Thanks Tawny for the website, I printed it out. I think I'll ask the office manager to put it in my personnel file, maybe that will get his attention. It might scare him into thinking I'm building my case for disability. HA! Get 'em in the pocketbook, right. Ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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