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Doing the Work on something that seems contradictory in these economic times....

but here goes.

" I'm being forced to work at BBBS "

is that true? no

when I think that thought I feel horrified by my life. I feel ashamed that I

feel so powerless to change things. If I call them to change my mind, I am

missing out on having a job that will pay me money that we need (at least right

now). On the other hand, S's job seems to be picking up... but still that isn't

translating into money in the bank. I have no idea when he will get more

commission checks. Could be next month, could be in six or eight months from

now. Do I take that chance and plan on going to back to school come January?

Or do I work for whatever amount of time and then quit? What kind of person

does that make me - to quit soon after starting a job?

Without the thought... I can start on Monday and not feel like I am in prison.

I can exist without stress. I stop projecting negativity onto my present and

future.

TA:

I am not being forced to work at BBBS.

-True. I don't have to take the job. There will be financial consequences, but

even S isn't forcing me...

-Working somewhere for a while to earn money is not a " trap. " It is a temporary

situation, not a lifelong prison sentence.

My thinking is forcing me to work at BBBS

-yes, I'm creating all these worst case scenarios...

-I am creating shame about " quitting before I start " or " quitting after I

start... "

-I am trapping me with my thinking

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April,

I don't know if this is helpful but...

your last statement reads " My thinking is forcing me to work at BBBS...I

am trapping me with my thinking. "

You post brought to mind such questions as: Are " you " any different from

" your thinking " ? Is there an " April " apart from the thoughts? Is there

a " you " who has any choice but to think whatever thoughts are thought?

Are there, in fact, any choices at all? I know there seem to be. But a

" seems " is not, necessarily, an " is. " Perhaps the notion that there are

any choices is, itself, simply a thought.

~ Andy

>

> Doing the Work on something that seems contradictory in these economic

times.... but here goes.

>

> " I'm being forced to work at BBBS "

>

> is that true? no

>

> when I think that thought I feel horrified by my life. I feel ashamed

that I feel so powerless to change things. If I call them to change my

mind, I am missing out on having a job that will pay me money that we

need (at least right now). On the other hand, S's job seems to be

picking up... but still that isn't translating into money in the bank.

I have no idea when he will get more commission checks. Could be next

month, could be in six or eight months from now. Do I take that chance

and plan on going to back to school come January? Or do I work for

whatever amount of time and then quit? What kind of person does that

make me - to quit soon after starting a job?

>

> Without the thought... I can start on Monday and not feel like I am in

prison. I can exist without stress. I stop projecting negativity onto

my present and future.

>

> TA:

>

> I am not being forced to work at BBBS.

> -True. I don't have to take the job. There will be financial

consequences, but even S isn't forcing me...

> -Working somewhere for a while to earn money is not a " trap. " It is a

temporary situation, not a lifelong prison sentence.

>

> My thinking is forcing me to work at BBBS

> -yes, I'm creating all these worst case scenarios...

> -I am creating shame about " quitting before I start " or " quitting

after I start... "

> -I am trapping me with my thinking

>

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