House Keeping

[Guest guest]

I do my early morning, what I can do.

I gave up and hired a lady to do my floors for me.

It is when I can move, as to what i get done, and that isn't very much

anymore.

Hoolihanma

[Guest guest]

Does anyone have problems with cleaning the house? I have DDD & have

problems with my back hurting most of the time. My wife has Hepatitis C

& muscles & joints hurting. In the past month she has been in the Hosp

twice. Close to a week each time. When is the best time for you to clean the

house? I also have spinal arthritis & my clavical was broken at one time. It

still bothers me.

[Guest guest]

I am one of the lucky ones, i have a teenage daughter who will clean

the house/cook! After all this is the reason why i had a child after

all....lolololol

[Guest guest]

I have Arachnoiditis, DDD, diverticulosis, chostocondrites, knees swollen to the

size of grapefruit with water. I have reherniated discs also.

I can barely do the grocery shopping and have a huge home. We have 3 kids, 2

are gone, the 1 left would get into my art supplies and make a mess, and not

small, and tell me she cleaned it up. Trash the kitchen with cooking experiments

and not clean it up, same with her room, and after the boys moved on, she

proceeded into their rooms. All fun and no cleaning up.

DCF took her. She is 13 and capable of cleaning up her own mess, nobody asked

her to clean up others. They tried to get her to say we hit her. Never once did

we even spank. We did remove priviledges. We did everything short of physical

punishment.

I also have ongoing kidney infections. She has been

placed with her father who is a substance abuser. When they do a monthly check

up down there its a 15 min visit, a drink of soda and gone.

He carries a 9mm on his person- he is an ac tech- why would one need that. I

have no problem with target shooting etc, but she is terrified.

he is racist and narrow. She has gained 60 lbs in 4 mos being there and has

cried at the case worker that all she wanted was to be home.

They wanted us to get new carpeting because of a small stain in the family room

we couldnt get up with 3 tries with a carpet cleaner. She calls daily and

usually cries at some point wanting to come home.

We have cleaned up alot, but not enough. Cobwebs are a crime here. We do not

have the $$ to put in new carpet. And paint the walls etc.

She is in a bad area and is talking about things she should not

know about at 13 and wants to talk with me further about them so she

understands.

DCF has ruined our lives. I have had to see one of their rehab therapists

because I take rx meds. I also had to provide a letter from my Dr saying I do

not abuse my meds.

I don't know what to tell you about cleaning, but if you have kids, do whatever

it takes, even thru tears shed in pain to get it done or you will lose the most

precious thing in your life.

Diane

From: " lobo452000 "

Subject: House Keeping

> Does anyone have problems with cleaning the house? I have DDD & have

> problems with my back hurting most of the time.

[Guest guest]

You mean you can actually have a clean house? I always say to young moms who

just cannot seem to keep up, " It is okay, a person can always tell when the

housecleaner loves her family. You can write I Love you in the dust. " When you

can do that the person is spending more time on others instead of on dirt! "

Seriously it is often hard. I find that I can do one room a day or every other

day. How this place gets so messy I do not know! I have a bucket with all of my

cleaning stuff and I put it in the next room to clean so that I can remember

where I go next. If you can't do it, then just don't. I sit on a stoll to cook,

do dishes, and anything else that is hard for me. One of my grandchildren or one

of the neighborhood kids vacuum for me, in exchange for homemade cookies. We

only vacuum once every two weeks. I am known for putting the dirty dishes in my

oven if company is coming that I had not planned on.

Do what you can and don't do the rest! We were made out of dust originally

and to dust we go back, so God Himself likes dust! Gwen

lobo452000 wrote:

Does anyone have problems with cleaning the house? I .

[Guest guest]

Hi

I have DDD too along with FM and other things. House keeping is

almost non-existant for me. My honey will vaccuum when he is here,

which is every other weekend. He works out of state alot. I just do

a little at a time. Clean, sit down...ect. Cooking is also really

bad. I have to use a bar stool to sit on and cook. Just to let you

know I feel your pain...not being funny. Hope your wife gets much

better.

Take care, Kay

wrote:

>

> Does anyone have problems with cleaning the house?

[Guest guest]

Dear Gwen,

What a perfectly delightful response. You seem to have the drill down to a

science. What better hiding place than the oven. Except sometimes I forget the

pans and find things growing in there.

Your are so right, and you can't always be Mrs. Clean. It can wait. there

are more important thing to do than be pecking at the house all the time. I

know it wears thin for me. I love to go out and just sit on the bench in the

sun and enjoy the birds. Life is too short.

Hope you have a good night. Sleep well.

donna

[Guest guest]

The best money I spend all month is on a cleaning lady who comes in

just twice a month, to do all the " heavy " cleaning - she scrubs the

toilets, the tub and shower, the sinks and countertops, cleans all the

mirrors, mops and vacuums all the floors, and dusts everything.

We still have to do the laundry and dishes and pick up after ourselves

on a daily basis, but the relief of not having to do the heavy

maintenance stuff is tremendous.

I finally broke down and admitted I needed the help when I had back

surgery after decades of saying " I should be able to clean my own

house! " I also have bad dust allergies and allergic-asthma, and

dusting/vacuuming only made those conditions worse also.

I realize lots of folks here are on very limited incomes, and that even

that little luxury might be totally out of the question, but if you can

find a way to save up the extra $80 or $100 a month it costs to have a

cleaning service twice a month, it will make all the difference in your

quality of life! Unless you're really a slob <g>, twice a month is

probably enough to keep things maintained, and relieve your pain.

Even when my husband got laid off a couple of years ago, his first

request was that we not fire Emma! We found a way to keep her even

though we didn't have his income for several months, because having

that extra help is just worth so much to our quality of life and my

health!

Cheryl in AZ

[Guest guest]

Hey, .

What other reasons to have a child but to do housework and other

chores. My son is nine years old, I'm just beginning to train him, I

should have stayed on him while he was six and thought cleaning was

fun, than he got hip to the game, now he hides or acts sick.

I tell him I pay you $1.

Take care, LaDonna

>

> I am one of the lucky ones, i have a teenage daughter who will clean

> the house/cook! After all this is the reason why i had a child after

> all....lolololol

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Diane,

I feel bad for you, it is not easy dealing with pain and having to do

house work, if you not in pain you are tired.

I hope things work out for you. Since the state is giving you a hard

time make them provide attendant/assistant care services for you. The

doctor note should suffice for you getting some assistance with your

chores. Most states sponsor agencies that provide assistance for you

do accomplish daily routines: errands, basic housecleaning. Since

they want you to have a clean house make them provide that service.

If that does not work you may have to search for either a

housecleaning/maid service (private) or pay out of pocket for your

attendant care.

Just some advice, it may not be suitable for your situation depending

on your state resources, but make them do something for you. You are

ill and have chronic ailments that are documented. That warrants some

help.

Take Care. LaDonna.

>

> I have Arachnoiditis, DDD, diverticulosis, chostocondrites, knees

swollen to the size of grapefruit with water... We have cleaned up

alot, but not enough. Cobwebs are a crime here. We do not have the $$

to put in new carpet. And paint the walls etc.

>

> Diane

>

[Guest guest]

The thing is- I used to clean houses. That was before. My life is seperated

into before and after. Before was good and functional, after is this. I

would love to have someone in, but my husband was working for the state

which kept promising a raise- something that was the only reason he took the

job because what they paid was almost poverty level. The raise never came,

but his boss used to torment him asking if he was looking forward to it,

and, boy he must be looking forward to having it etc. It was awful.Hopefully

after we clean up and sell here and go into a place a lot smaller, it will be

a lot easier to keep on top of. Also having no steps will help alot.

Happy Easter,

Diane

Cheryl wrote:

> The best money I spend all month is on a cleaning lady who comes in

> just twice a month, to do all the " heavy " cleaning - she scrubs the

> toilets, the tub and shower, the sinks and countertops, cleans all the

> mirrors, mops and vacuums all the floors, and dusts everything.

[Guest guest]

I have no way of expressing the pain I have because one could not do surgery in

my home. Our daughter needs me now more than ever with her changes coming soon

and living with a man who could care less. She is pawned off onto his gf 5 out

of 7 days/nights a week and now this woman talks to her like she is her mother.

When I had my daughter I was told I couldnt have any more

children. I had prayed so hard for a little girl and was so happy when I learned

of my pregnancy. I knew how fast time flew by- her brothers were 7 1/2 and 5 1/2

and I cherished my time with her.

Now I know ppl who beat, literally, their kids, smoke crack, neglect to the

point where their clothing is 2 sizes too small and either nothing happens or

some kind of help is offered.

So far this has cost almost 3k for our lawyer, we had to take a note on the

house. I can't believe how backwards things are. They

wonder whats wrong with todays kids...I can't imagine.

Diane

[Guest guest]

Hi LaDonna,

If I could afford it i would be paying someone out of pocket in a snap. As it is

now is a struggle. My husband was just laid off to make things even easier

(sarcasm keeps me from crumbling).

We had this meeting- were told that we were meeting with DCF to see what

services they may have to help us. When we got there 5 in ahead of our atty and

mentioned this they actually laughed at us. Laughed. They said no way, it was

about what charges might be filed and how would I plead.

My disability had been documented with them since the botched surgeries as I was

on Medicaid then (we hadn't married

yet) and I had to bring my medical records to prove perm and complete

disability in order to get food stamps.

They won't help. I can only pray the future brings better and I can hang on till

then and Dev stays on track. Pray for us please, we need it badly.

Thank you,

Diane

> Just some advice, it may not be suitable for your situation depending on your

state resources, but make them do something for you. You are ill and have

chronic ailments that are documented. That warrants some help.

>

> Take Care. LaDonna.

[Guest guest]

my dr. has told me no mopping, no vaccumning, i do anyway when im here all day ,

its hard to just sit at look at a dirty floor. i guess i didnt realize a

cleaning service was so inexpensive. i know 100.00 would be hard for me to come

up with untill i get my ss but my middle daughter is coming home this weekend

for Easter with my 18 month old grandson. i sure dont want him sitting around in

a dirty floor. she tries to clean when she visits,(she is a clean freak)lol but

i dont want her to clean i want the spend some quality time with her i dont see

her very often. thanks for the tip. maybe i wont be trying to clean all week

untill she gets here. lol connie

Cheryl wrote:

Even when my husband got laid off a couple of years ago, his first

request was that we not fire Emma! We found a way to keep her even

though we didn't have his income for several months, because having

that extra help is just worth so much to our quality of life and my

health!

Cheryl in AZ

[Guest guest]

--- connie tackett wrote:

>

> she tries to clean when she visits,(she is a clean freak)lol but i

dont want her to clean i want the spend some quality time with her i

dont see her very often.

Hi Connie -

I was just visiting my parents - they're in their 80s and having

trouble keeping their house up these days. I wanted to help by

cleaning up a bit - maybe run the vacuum for them, help with the

dishes after dinner - but you would have thought I was suggesting my

mother needed to be put in a nursing home by the fit she threw over

my offers to help! But all I wanted to do was be a good and helpful

daughter. Some of my fondest memories have been hanging out with my

mom in the kitchen, so I couldn't see why we couldn't continue to

visit and chat over doing the dishes. But for her, it was all about

pride and independence and other stuff. She couldn't see my

motivation for offering, so she rejected me at every turn.

So, speaking as the daughter one of these situations, maybe if your

daughter really enjoys cleaning, think about it this way - let her do

what she enjoys, because it makes her feel useful! She'll feel great

about contributing and giving you something to make you feel better.

And you can still enjoy your quality time together - hang out on the

sofa while she dusts the living room and gossip away, for

example....

Don't be as stubborn as my mom, Connie - let your daughter feel

useful, and spend quality time laughing and talking together while

she putters around cleaning up, and you'll have a great visit and end

up with a sparkling house at the end of the visit as a bonus!

Just a thought from the other side of the mother-daughter

relationship....

Cheryl in AZ

[Guest guest]

Just a thought from the other side of the mother-daughter

relationship....

Cheryl in AZ

I agree it always good to look at the other side. My daughter in law of 10

years is always wanting to do my errands for me. recenly I have been asking her

to do some things for me. My son called today and said thanks mom, it has meant

so much to Becky that you need her. Who would've thought it? Gwen

[Guest guest]

Donna Berg wrote:

> What better hiding place than the oven. Except sometimes

> forget the pans and find things growing in there.

Yuk!. :-)

I only hid things in the oven once. I forgot they were in there and turned the

oven on to preheat.

After that fiasco, I decided that hiding dirty dishes wasn't for me.

--

Lyndi