Re: sorry I have not been here- updates some OT Tawny

[Guest guest]

hey do you have a new email addy on here?

I do not know, I must be some kind of ?? martyr?? is that the right word? I get

so wrapped up in sick hubby, the 2 disabled kids and blow off self care.ya know?

I keep sayiing oh after I tend to this for them, then I will take care of me

only ya know, by then something else pops up with the kids or hubby so it is

again, oh after I deal with THIS I will go to doc etc.....and it winds up I

never get around to tending to me. I KNOW Better, gosh I truly know

better.....I DEFINETLY know better, for goodness sake, I am a nurse, and I also

am in a support group for wives of disabled husbands and also for parents of

disabled kids and the FIRST rule is " take care of yourself " but, ya know, it

just kinda slides off and I just forget or something, ya know?

Yes, the ER doc, he is actually a partner of my rheumy and my GP doc....and yes,

he did say follow up with rheumy, especially, he suggested Remicaide in addition

to the MTX, which rheumy was waiting till my next appt to maybe begin. He

thinks that will at least help with the jaw stuff....and to follow up with my GP

to see if my GP wants to pursue a specialist. He just meant (I think) that HE

could not do more for me in ER?? (I hope)

Maybe if the jaw is not as bothersome, my capacity and threshold will be higher

to cope?

- In , " tdianaok " <tdianaok@y...> wrote:

>

> I'm glad that your went to ER. I can't imagine how much pain you

> have been in, girl. Did the doctor recommend you go to a

> specialist? It seems like there is something that can be done. Glad

> to hear the med is helping a little.

> You have had a difficult time, and I will keep you, and the family in

> my prayers,....Tawny

>

>

>

>

>

> >

> > I posted this today on another group I belong to-

> > I broke down finally and went in - been sick since Dec 26, thought

> it was ear

> > infection or maybe possibly a bad tooth?   I kept hoping that in

> spite of my

> > chemo, my body might fight it off, anyway, on it's own? (I live in

> partial

> > denial that I have RA and am on chemo- so used to having a sturdy

> healthy

> > constitution, ya know?) This morning at pinewood derby weigh in, my

> ear began to

> > bleed inside. It has been hurting a LOT, and my jaw has been

> swelling, so much

> > my teeth would not close or meet up lately sometimes. Well, having

> my ear bleed

> > I though oh you dummy now you went and let your dumb eardrum

> rupture, you fool.

> > SO I went in to the ER, deciding it should not wait till Monday.

> > UG. Doc said my eustachian tubes are damaged, and so are my salivary

> > glands....no infection, just chronic fluid that damaged it

> all.....and my jaw

> > has RA in it.....like my fingers. (and toes and shoulder and knees

> etc, yeesh)

> > He said he really can do very little for any of it. He gave me a

> decongestatnt

> > hoping it will help the pressure and pain some, but warned me it

> might not and

> > this is long term problem. grrrr. and the RA in the jaw will be

> just like

> > everywhere else, sometimes it will act up and sometimes it won't.

> sometimes I

> > will be to my knees in pain and unable to eat and sometimes it will

> be fine. Oh

> > joy. The good news is I took one pill so far and already the

> pressure and pain

> > are better, bearable, and so is my hearing.

> > I really am disgusted with my dumb body turning on itself. LOL. And

> I am like

> > anyone else, - hey fix me doc! NOW. I am tired of all the things in

> me, Ray and

> > the kids that medicine cannot yet fix, LOL, I am a product of the

> instant

> > gratification generation, ya know? LOL.

> > XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

> > In addition, I was at Shriners childrens hospital with my youngest

> for 3 full

> > days this week.came home to find a cousin and a friend - both early

> 40s had

> > passed away.....UG. broke her shoulder, I am not yet sure

> how......

> > I counted, I have been to 8 funerals this year for people in their

> teens and

> > 20's and 6 for people in their 30s and 40s, and it is hitting me

> hard in my

> > face. also 2 for teen agers.

> > I am in middle of suing our school district for disability

> discrimination and

> > harrassment for my oldest child.....the trial starts this week, and

> sadly I am

> > having to represent myself (LONG story)

> > Life is just being really hard right now. I did not mean to not be

> here and not

> > be supportive to you guys in your battles. Please do know I keep

> you all in my

> > prayers daily, and I am inspired by your attitudes.

> > My best to all of you.

[Guest guest]

hey do you have a new email addy on here?

I do not know, I must be some kind of ?? martyr?? is that the right word? I get

so wrapped up in sick hubby, the 2 disabled kids and blow off self care.ya know?

I keep sayiing oh after I tend to this for them, then I will take care of me

only ya know, by then something else pops up with the kids or hubby so it is

again, oh after I deal with THIS I will go to doc etc.....and it winds up I

never get around to tending to me. I KNOW Better, gosh I truly know

better.....I DEFINETLY know better, for goodness sake, I am a nurse, and I also

am in a support group for wives of disabled husbands and also for parents of

disabled kids and the FIRST rule is " take care of yourself " but, ya know, it

just kinda slides off and I just forget or something, ya know?

Yes, the ER doc, he is actually a partner of my rheumy and my GP doc....and yes,

he did say follow up with rheumy, especially, he suggested Remicaide in addition

to the MTX, which rheumy was waiting till my next appt to maybe begin. He

thinks that will at least help with the jaw stuff....and to follow up with my GP

to see if my GP wants to pursue a specialist. He just meant (I think) that HE

could not do more for me in ER?? (I hope)

Maybe if the jaw is not as bothersome, my capacity and threshold will be higher

to cope?

- In , " tdianaok " <tdianaok@y...> wrote:

>

> I'm glad that your went to ER. I can't imagine how much pain you

> have been in, girl. Did the doctor recommend you go to a

> specialist? It seems like there is something that can be done. Glad

> to hear the med is helping a little.

> You have had a difficult time, and I will keep you, and the family in

> my prayers,....Tawny

>

>

>

>

>

> >

> > I posted this today on another group I belong to-

> > I broke down finally and went in - been sick since Dec 26, thought

> it was ear

> > infection or maybe possibly a bad tooth?   I kept hoping that in

> spite of my

> > chemo, my body might fight it off, anyway, on it's own? (I live in

> partial

> > denial that I have RA and am on chemo- so used to having a sturdy

> healthy

> > constitution, ya know?) This morning at pinewood derby weigh in, my

> ear began to

> > bleed inside. It has been hurting a LOT, and my jaw has been

> swelling, so much

> > my teeth would not close or meet up lately sometimes. Well, having

> my ear bleed

> > I though oh you dummy now you went and let your dumb eardrum

> rupture, you fool.

> > SO I went in to the ER, deciding it should not wait till Monday.

> > UG. Doc said my eustachian tubes are damaged, and so are my salivary

> > glands....no infection, just chronic fluid that damaged it

> all.....and my jaw

> > has RA in it.....like my fingers. (and toes and shoulder and knees

> etc, yeesh)

> > He said he really can do very little for any of it. He gave me a

> decongestatnt

> > hoping it will help the pressure and pain some, but warned me it

> might not and

> > this is long term problem. grrrr. and the RA in the jaw will be

> just like

> > everywhere else, sometimes it will act up and sometimes it won't.

> sometimes I

> > will be to my knees in pain and unable to eat and sometimes it will

> be fine. Oh

> > joy. The good news is I took one pill so far and already the

> pressure and pain

> > are better, bearable, and so is my hearing.

> > I really am disgusted with my dumb body turning on itself. LOL. And

> I am like

> > anyone else, - hey fix me doc! NOW. I am tired of all the things in

> me, Ray and

> > the kids that medicine cannot yet fix, LOL, I am a product of the

> instant

> > gratification generation, ya know? LOL.

> > XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

> > In addition, I was at Shriners childrens hospital with my youngest

> for 3 full

> > days this week.came home to find a cousin and a friend - both early

> 40s had

> > passed away.....UG. broke her shoulder, I am not yet sure

> how......

> > I counted, I have been to 8 funerals this year for people in their

> teens and

> > 20's and 6 for people in their 30s and 40s, and it is hitting me

> hard in my

> > face. also 2 for teen agers.

> > I am in middle of suing our school district for disability

> discrimination and

> > harrassment for my oldest child.....the trial starts this week, and

> sadly I am

> > having to represent myself (LONG story)

> > Life is just being really hard right now. I did not mean to not be

> here and not

> > be supportive to you guys in your battles. Please do know I keep

> you all in my

> > prayers daily, and I am inspired by your attitudes.

> > My best to all of you.

[Guest guest]

Yes, I do have a new email addy. Was having problems with my email.

I do know how you feel though, I don't take care of myself like I

should. And, I too usually wait until I am really bad.

You have a lot on your shoulders, and I don't see how you do it, but

I know that you have too. That's what keeps us going.

The Remicade sure might help you on the jaw pain, I hope so. A few

years ago, I was having what I thought was ear pain, turned out to be

TMJ, and it finally stopped hurting after awhile. That was quite a

big pain for sure.

Please, start taking better care of yourself. You are such a sweet

and caring lady, and always thinking of someone else. I pray that

you start feeling better soon. Is your rheumy appointment close?

Keep us posted, Tawny

> > >

> > > I posted this today on another group I belong to-

> > > I broke down finally and went in - been sick since Dec 26,

thought

> > it was ear

> > > infection or maybe possibly a bad tooth?   I kept hoping that

in

> > spite of my

> > > chemo, my body might fight it off, anyway, on it's own? (I live

in

> > partial

> > > denial that I have RA and am on chemo- so used to having a

sturdy

> > healthy

> > > constitution, ya know?) This morning at pinewood derby weigh

in, my

> > ear began to

> > > bleed inside. It has been hurting a LOT, and my jaw has been

> > swelling, so much

> > > my teeth would not close or meet up lately sometimes. Well,

having

> > my ear bleed

> > > I though oh you dummy now you went and let your dumb eardrum

> > rupture, you fool.

> > > SO I went in to the ER, deciding it should not wait till Monday.

> > > UG. Doc said my eustachian tubes are damaged, and so are my

salivary

> > > glands....no infection, just chronic fluid that damaged it

> > all.....and my jaw

> > > has RA in it.....like my fingers. (and toes and shoulder and

knees

> > etc, yeesh)

> > > He said he really can do very little for any of it. He gave me

a

> > decongestatnt

> > > hoping it will help the pressure and pain some, but warned me

it

> > might not and

> > > this is long term problem. grrrr. and the RA in the jaw will be

> > just like

> > > everywhere else, sometimes it will act up and sometimes it

won't.

> > sometimes I

> > > will be to my knees in pain and unable to eat and sometimes it

will

> > be fine. Oh

> > > joy. The good news is I took one pill so far and already the

> > pressure and pain

> > > are better, bearable, and so is my hearing.

> > > I really am disgusted with my dumb body turning on itself. LOL.

And

> > I am like

> > > anyone else, - hey fix me doc! NOW. I am tired of all the

things in

> > me, Ray and

> > > the kids that medicine cannot yet fix, LOL, I am a product of

the

> > instant

> > > gratification generation, ya know? LOL.

> > > XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

> > > In addition, I was at Shriners childrens hospital with my

youngest

> > for 3 full

> > > days this week.came home to find a cousin and a friend - both

early

> > 40s had

> > > passed away.....UG. broke her shoulder, I am not yet sure

> > how......

> > > I counted, I have been to 8 funerals this year for people in

their

> > teens and

> > > 20's and 6 for people in their 30s and 40s, and it is hitting

me

> > hard in my

> > > face. also 2 for teen agers.

> > > I am in middle of suing our school district for disability

> > discrimination and

> > > harrassment for my oldest child.....the trial starts this week,

and

> > sadly I am

> > > having to represent myself (LONG story)

> > > Life is just being really hard right now. I did not mean to not

be

> > here and not

> > > be supportive to you guys in your battles. Please do know I

keep

> > you all in my

> > > prayers daily, and I am inspired by your attitudes.

> > > My best to all of you.

[Guest guest]

Yes, I do have a new email addy. Was having problems with my email.

I do know how you feel though, I don't take care of myself like I

should. And, I too usually wait until I am really bad.

You have a lot on your shoulders, and I don't see how you do it, but

I know that you have too. That's what keeps us going.

The Remicade sure might help you on the jaw pain, I hope so. A few

years ago, I was having what I thought was ear pain, turned out to be

TMJ, and it finally stopped hurting after awhile. That was quite a

big pain for sure.

Please, start taking better care of yourself. You are such a sweet

and caring lady, and always thinking of someone else. I pray that

you start feeling better soon. Is your rheumy appointment close?

Keep us posted, Tawny

> > >

> > > I posted this today on another group I belong to-

> > > I broke down finally and went in - been sick since Dec 26,

thought

> > it was ear

> > > infection or maybe possibly a bad tooth?   I kept hoping that

in

> > spite of my

> > > chemo, my body might fight it off, anyway, on it's own? (I live

in

> > partial

> > > denial that I have RA and am on chemo- so used to having a

sturdy

> > healthy

> > > constitution, ya know?) This morning at pinewood derby weigh

in, my

> > ear began to

> > > bleed inside. It has been hurting a LOT, and my jaw has been

> > swelling, so much

> > > my teeth would not close or meet up lately sometimes. Well,

having

> > my ear bleed

> > > I though oh you dummy now you went and let your dumb eardrum

> > rupture, you fool.

> > > SO I went in to the ER, deciding it should not wait till Monday.

> > > UG. Doc said my eustachian tubes are damaged, and so are my

salivary

> > > glands....no infection, just chronic fluid that damaged it

> > all.....and my jaw

> > > has RA in it.....like my fingers. (and toes and shoulder and

knees

> > etc, yeesh)

> > > He said he really can do very little for any of it. He gave me

a

> > decongestatnt

> > > hoping it will help the pressure and pain some, but warned me

it

> > might not and

> > > this is long term problem. grrrr. and the RA in the jaw will be

> > just like

> > > everywhere else, sometimes it will act up and sometimes it

won't.

> > sometimes I

> > > will be to my knees in pain and unable to eat and sometimes it

will

> > be fine. Oh

> > > joy. The good news is I took one pill so far and already the

> > pressure and pain

> > > are better, bearable, and so is my hearing.

> > > I really am disgusted with my dumb body turning on itself. LOL.

And

> > I am like

> > > anyone else, - hey fix me doc! NOW. I am tired of all the

things in

> > me, Ray and

> > > the kids that medicine cannot yet fix, LOL, I am a product of

the

> > instant

> > > gratification generation, ya know? LOL.

> > > XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

> > > In addition, I was at Shriners childrens hospital with my

youngest

> > for 3 full

> > > days this week.came home to find a cousin and a friend - both

early

> > 40s had

> > > passed away.....UG. broke her shoulder, I am not yet sure

> > how......

> > > I counted, I have been to 8 funerals this year for people in

their

> > teens and

> > > 20's and 6 for people in their 30s and 40s, and it is hitting

me

> > hard in my

> > > face. also 2 for teen agers.

> > > I am in middle of suing our school district for disability

> > discrimination and

> > > harrassment for my oldest child.....the trial starts this week,

and

> > sadly I am

> > > having to represent myself (LONG story)

> > > Life is just being really hard right now. I did not mean to not

be

> > here and not

> > > be supportive to you guys in your battles. Please do know I

keep

> > you all in my

> > > prayers daily, and I am inspired by your attitudes.

> > > My best to all of you.

[Guest guest]

Bummer about the email problems.

Yes, the appt is coming up soon here, and we had been discussing adding

Remicaide, anyway cuz the mtx just was not doing it all by itself.

funny how on one hand I do seem to blame nearly everything that comes up with me

on the RA- whether it is an ache a pain or whatever....on the other hand there

are times when even tho I am blaming the RA I am still going no no it cannot be

the RA THERE in THAT spot.....

bummer is lotsa times the docs seem to blame the RA too, and I am not sure if it

really is always the RA. sometimes I wonder.

My friend , the one with the melanoma, she has had MS since 95, in her

20s..and when she first had her cancer, her docs kept blaming all her symptoms

on her MS and did not really investigate things very much.

2 summers ago, the RA was bothering of all odd places, - my hyoid in the throat?

too weird. My rheumy keeps shaking his head cuz I am being so non typical

according to him. when I DO call him and say gee I have this here, he will

sometimes say no, that is not RA....and then I go in and he is like hmmmm, well,

it IS RA after all. But in the ER it seems the docs blame EVERYTHING on RA and

kinda just dismiss me telling me to go see my rheumy. (I know, ER is NOT for

diagnostic and long term care, but, --)

I also have bipolar disorder and before my diagnosis of RA, I would go to the ER

with swollen joints or whatever and they would dismiss me, telling me to call my

psychiatrist. At that time they just wanted to blame everything on my bipolar

disorder. I never did understand why they would think swollen fingers, knees

and wrists were mental illness. GRRR.

Maybe it is " pass the buck " , maybe it is " gosh I don't know whats wrong with

you, get out of my ER " I am not sure....

but it does get annoying. And me, I just thought it was a simple ordinary ear

infection. I thought oh, I will get an antiobiotic and be done with it or

whatever. What will really be something is if it IS really just an ear

infection or bad tooth. UG. <sigh>

We will see. I guess.

- In , " tdianaok " <tdianaok@y...> wrote:

>

> Yes, I do have a new email addy. Was having problems with my email.

> I do know how you feel though, I don't take care of myself like I

> should. And, I too usually wait until I am really bad.

> You have a lot on your shoulders, and I don't see how you do it, but

> I know that you have too. That's what keeps us going.

> The Remicade sure might help you on the jaw pain, I hope so. A few

> years ago, I was having what I thought was ear pain, turned out to be

> TMJ, and it finally stopped hurting after awhile. That was quite a

> big pain for sure.

> Please, start taking better care of yourself. You are such a sweet

> and caring lady, and always thinking of someone else. I pray that

> you start feeling better soon. Is your rheumy appointment close?

> Keep us posted, Tawny

>

>

>

>

>

>

> > > >

> > > > I posted this today on another group I belong to-

> > > > I broke down finally and went in - been sick since Dec 26,

> thought

> > > it was ear

> > > > infection or maybe possibly a bad tooth?   I kept hoping that

> in

> > > spite of my

> > > > chemo, my body might fight it off, anyway, on it's own? (I live

> in

> > > partial

> > > > denial that I have RA and am on chemo- so used to having a

> sturdy

> > > healthy

> > > > constitution, ya know?) This morning at pinewood derby weigh

> in, my

> > > ear began to

> > > > bleed inside. It has been hurting a LOT, and my jaw has been

> > > swelling, so much

> > > > my teeth would not close or meet up lately sometimes. Well,

> having

> > > my ear bleed

> > > > I though oh you dummy now you went and let your dumb eardrum

> > > rupture, you fool.

> > > > SO I went in to the ER, deciding it should not wait till Monday.

> > > > UG. Doc said my eustachian tubes are damaged, and so are my

> salivary

> > > > glands....no infection, just chronic fluid that damaged it

> > > all.....and my jaw

> > > > has RA in it.....like my fingers. (and toes and shoulder and

> knees

> > > etc, yeesh)

> > > > He said he really can do very little for any of it. He gave me

> a

> > > decongestatnt

> > > > hoping it will help the pressure and pain some, but warned me

> it

> > > might not and

> > > > this is long term problem. grrrr. and the RA in the jaw will be

> > > just like

> > > > everywhere else, sometimes it will act up and sometimes it

> won't.

> > > sometimes I

> > > > will be to my knees in pain and unable to eat and sometimes it

> will

> > > be fine. Oh

> > > > joy. The good news is I took one pill so far and already the

> > > pressure and pain

> > > > are better, bearable, and so is my hearing.

> > > > I really am disgusted with my dumb body turning on itself. LOL.

> And

> > > I am like

> > > > anyone else, - hey fix me doc! NOW. I am tired of all the

> things in

> > > me, Ray and

> > > > the kids that medicine cannot yet fix, LOL, I am a product of

> the

> > > instant

> > > > gratification generation, ya know? LOL.

> > > > XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

> > > > In addition, I was at Shriners childrens hospital with my

> youngest

> > > for 3 full

> > > > days this week.came home to find a cousin and a friend - both

> early

> > > 40s had

> > > > passed away.....UG. broke her shoulder, I am not yet sure

> > > how......

> > > > I counted, I have been to 8 funerals this year for people in

> their

> > > teens and

> > > > 20's and 6 for people in their 30s and 40s, and it is hitting

> me

> > > hard in my

> > > > face. also 2 for teen agers.

> > > > I am in middle of suing our school district for disability

> > > discrimination and

> > > > harrassment for my oldest child.....the trial starts this week,

> and

> > > sadly I am

> > > > having to represent myself (LONG story)

> > > > Life is just being really hard right now. I did not mean to not

> be

> > > here and not

> > > > be supportive to you guys in your battles. Please do know I

> keep

> > > you all in my

> > > > prayers daily, and I am inspired by your attitudes.

> > > > My best to all of you.

[Guest guest]

Bummer about the email problems.

Yes, the appt is coming up soon here, and we had been discussing adding

Remicaide, anyway cuz the mtx just was not doing it all by itself.

funny how on one hand I do seem to blame nearly everything that comes up with me

on the RA- whether it is an ache a pain or whatever....on the other hand there

are times when even tho I am blaming the RA I am still going no no it cannot be

the RA THERE in THAT spot.....

bummer is lotsa times the docs seem to blame the RA too, and I am not sure if it

really is always the RA. sometimes I wonder.

My friend , the one with the melanoma, she has had MS since 95, in her

20s..and when she first had her cancer, her docs kept blaming all her symptoms

on her MS and did not really investigate things very much.

2 summers ago, the RA was bothering of all odd places, - my hyoid in the throat?

too weird. My rheumy keeps shaking his head cuz I am being so non typical

according to him. when I DO call him and say gee I have this here, he will

sometimes say no, that is not RA....and then I go in and he is like hmmmm, well,

it IS RA after all. But in the ER it seems the docs blame EVERYTHING on RA and

kinda just dismiss me telling me to go see my rheumy. (I know, ER is NOT for

diagnostic and long term care, but, --)

I also have bipolar disorder and before my diagnosis of RA, I would go to the ER

with swollen joints or whatever and they would dismiss me, telling me to call my

psychiatrist. At that time they just wanted to blame everything on my bipolar

disorder. I never did understand why they would think swollen fingers, knees

and wrists were mental illness. GRRR.

Maybe it is " pass the buck " , maybe it is " gosh I don't know whats wrong with

you, get out of my ER " I am not sure....

but it does get annoying. And me, I just thought it was a simple ordinary ear

infection. I thought oh, I will get an antiobiotic and be done with it or

whatever. What will really be something is if it IS really just an ear

infection or bad tooth. UG. <sigh>

We will see. I guess.

- In , " tdianaok " <tdianaok@y...> wrote:

>

> Yes, I do have a new email addy. Was having problems with my email.

> I do know how you feel though, I don't take care of myself like I

> should. And, I too usually wait until I am really bad.

> You have a lot on your shoulders, and I don't see how you do it, but

> I know that you have too. That's what keeps us going.

> The Remicade sure might help you on the jaw pain, I hope so. A few

> years ago, I was having what I thought was ear pain, turned out to be

> TMJ, and it finally stopped hurting after awhile. That was quite a

> big pain for sure.

> Please, start taking better care of yourself. You are such a sweet

> and caring lady, and always thinking of someone else. I pray that

> you start feeling better soon. Is your rheumy appointment close?

> Keep us posted, Tawny

>

>

>

>

>

>

> > > >

> > > > I posted this today on another group I belong to-

> > > > I broke down finally and went in - been sick since Dec 26,

> thought

> > > it was ear

> > > > infection or maybe possibly a bad tooth?   I kept hoping that

> in

> > > spite of my

> > > > chemo, my body might fight it off, anyway, on it's own? (I live

> in

> > > partial

> > > > denial that I have RA and am on chemo- so used to having a

> sturdy

> > > healthy

> > > > constitution, ya know?) This morning at pinewood derby weigh

> in, my

> > > ear began to

> > > > bleed inside. It has been hurting a LOT, and my jaw has been

> > > swelling, so much

> > > > my teeth would not close or meet up lately sometimes. Well,

> having

> > > my ear bleed

> > > > I though oh you dummy now you went and let your dumb eardrum

> > > rupture, you fool.

> > > > SO I went in to the ER, deciding it should not wait till Monday.

> > > > UG. Doc said my eustachian tubes are damaged, and so are my

> salivary

> > > > glands....no infection, just chronic fluid that damaged it

> > > all.....and my jaw

> > > > has RA in it.....like my fingers. (and toes and shoulder and

> knees

> > > etc, yeesh)

> > > > He said he really can do very little for any of it. He gave me

> a

> > > decongestatnt

> > > > hoping it will help the pressure and pain some, but warned me

> it

> > > might not and

> > > > this is long term problem. grrrr. and the RA in the jaw will be

> > > just like

> > > > everywhere else, sometimes it will act up and sometimes it

> won't.

> > > sometimes I

> > > > will be to my knees in pain and unable to eat and sometimes it

> will

> > > be fine. Oh

> > > > joy. The good news is I took one pill so far and already the

> > > pressure and pain

> > > > are better, bearable, and so is my hearing.

> > > > I really am disgusted with my dumb body turning on itself. LOL.

> And

> > > I am like

> > > > anyone else, - hey fix me doc! NOW. I am tired of all the

> things in

> > > me, Ray and

> > > > the kids that medicine cannot yet fix, LOL, I am a product of

> the

> > > instant

> > > > gratification generation, ya know? LOL.

> > > > XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

> > > > In addition, I was at Shriners childrens hospital with my

> youngest

> > > for 3 full

> > > > days this week.came home to find a cousin and a friend - both

> early

> > > 40s had

> > > > passed away.....UG. broke her shoulder, I am not yet sure

> > > how......

> > > > I counted, I have been to 8 funerals this year for people in

> their

> > > teens and

> > > > 20's and 6 for people in their 30s and 40s, and it is hitting

> me

> > > hard in my

> > > > face. also 2 for teen agers.

> > > > I am in middle of suing our school district for disability

> > > discrimination and

> > > > harrassment for my oldest child.....the trial starts this week,

> and

> > > sadly I am

> > > > having to represent myself (LONG story)

> > > > Life is just being really hard right now. I did not mean to not

> be

> > > here and not

> > > > be supportive to you guys in your battles. Please do know I

> keep

> > > you all in my

> > > > prayers daily, and I am inspired by your attitudes.

> > > > My best to all of you.