Also, New to Group

[Guest guest]

I just started reading the book, " Stop Walking on Eggshells. " I came

across the website that was used, and decided to look into it. I

couldn't believe there was actually a support group for people like

myself. I feel so vindicated reading so many messages, and being able

to relate. For a while, I have been thinking I am crazy. I have been

in counseling on and off for sixteen years, and normally because my

mother seems to always think that I am the " bad " child. I have spent

years trying to find a counselor that would tell me this, but to no

avail. I finally decided to go and see a " female " therapist because I

have found myself to have such problems trusting females. After

several months; she has recommended this book to me...

I wouldn't even know where to begin, except to say that a little over

a year ago, my mothers therapist called me to ask me some questions.

I found it interesting that with the new confidentiality issues, that

she spoke to me, but I later found out that my dad permitted this.

She made it quite clear after our conversation that my mother had a

personality disorder. I knew she had issues, but I always blamed it

on her drug and alcohol abuse. I then felt guilty of the boundaries I

created, and I started feeling sorry for her. What a major mistake

this was. Needless to say, I got back into counseling. The guilt is

slowly lifting, but I struggle every now and then. I do not talk to my

mother at this current time, and find this to be the easiest way to

deal with this situation. My mother has gone to the depths of

accusing my husband of sexually abusing my children, to telling me my

father is gay. She was constantly aiding and abedding my sister and

me to fight, and much...much...more. In the past sixteen years, I try

to let my mother back into my space, but on or about the second year;

I can't handle it. Two times ago; I told her the only way I would

engage again with her is if she went to counseling. So, when her

counselor called me; I felt I had to follow through on my word. Again

it lasted for almost two years, when I found out she had only seen the

counselor three times and stopped. UGHH! So, after one of

her " mother a " " mother B " explosions; I parted ways again. This time

I told her I needed to see at least six months of therapy (proof)

until I would engage again. Needless to say, I am the worst child

again, I hear from family members terrible lies she tells, etc....

So, here I am hoping to learn more by joining this group to determine

what my future might hold.

I look forward to talking to you all.

Thank you so much for your time, courage, and I am sure

much...much...more.

erbussmom