FROM CINDI TO TAWNY

[Guest guest]

DEAR TAWNY,

YOU TAKE CARE GIRL AND KNOW THAT I AM PRAYING FOR EVERYONE ON

THIS SITE EACH AND EVERY SINGLE DAY. YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH ALOT AND

JUST BECAUSE I DO NOT FEEL WELL ENOUGH TO WRITE ENOUGH, I HAVEN'T

FORGOTTEN YOU OR TESS OR EVERYONE ELSE HERE, MARINA YOU TOO GIRL. !

EVERYBODY --- FIGHT HARD AND FIGHT FOR YOUR HEALTH AND NEVER GIVE

UP ! I AM GOING THROUGH A NEW TREATMENT: I JUST STARTED AT OUR

CITY'S PAIN MANAGEMENT CLINIC. I FOUND OUT FROM MY NEW DOCTOR THAT 8

YEARS AGO HE SAVED MY LIFE WHEN I WAS HAVING A ROUTINE PROCEDURE AS

AN OUT PATIENT, AN ENDOSCOPY OF MY STOMACH. AND SINCE NO ONE CHECKED

ON MY MEDS AND REALIZED ON I WAS ON SEDATIVES I NEEDED TO BE

RESUSITATED IN THE E.R. AND MY DOCTOR THAT RESUSITATED ME IS MY

DOCTOR IN THE PAIN CLINIC. OF COURSE, MY HUSBAND AND I WERE NEVER

TOLD THE TRUTH, TO MAKE EXCUSES FOR THE BRUISES ON MY BODY THEY WERE

TOLD THAT I HAD BECOME VIOLENT WITH THE VERSED I WAS GIVEN......

WHEN I WENT TO THE PAIN CLINIC FRIDAY, 8 YEARS AFTER THIS EVENT, MY

NEW DOCTOR REMEMBERED RESUSITATING ME AND TOLD ME SO. IF YOU DONOT

THINK THAT WAS SHOCK ! I CAN REMEMBER TELLING MY HUSBAND FOR

SEVERAL WEEKS AFTER THE ENDOSCOPY THAT I WAS SCARED AND PANICKY AND

I DIDNT KNOW WHY, AND I CRIED ALOT. HE REMEMBERS IT TOO. THIS WAS

SOMETHING I JUST REMEMBER A FEW HOURS AGO. APPARENTLY, THE HORRORS

OF BEING RESUSITATED WERE BURIED, BUT MY BRAIN SOMEHOW REMEMBERED

SOMETHING VERY UNPLEASANT.

MY PAIN MANAGEMENT DOCTOR IS A DOCTOR WHO DOES NOT ONLY TREAT ME,

HIS QUOTE WAS, WE GET THE WHOLE FAMILY ON BOARD TO HELP YOU, TO

UNDERSTAND YOU DISEASES, I HAVE 3, AND TO LEARN WHAT PHYSICAL HELP

YOU NEED AT HOME. WE GET THERAPISTS, PHYSCHIATRISTS, FOR THE WHOLE

FAMILY, WHETHER THEY STILL LIVE AT HOME OR NOT, AND I TREAT YOU !

HE WAS A BIT INTIMIDATING, HE IS FROM INDIA LIKE MY RHEUMATALOGIST

AND VERY TALL...... I WAS SO MUCH IN PAIN WHEN I WENT TO SEE HIM, I

STARTED BLUBBERING ALMOST RIGHT AWAY....

I TOLD HIM BETWEEN HICCUPS THAT I WAS THERE BECAUSE I COULD NOT

EMOTIONALLY HIDE THE AMOUNT OF PAIN I WAS IN FROM MY FAMILY AND THAT

WAS HARDER THAN DEALING WITH THE PAIN AND DID NOT WANT TO LET ANY OF

MY CHILDREN DOWN BECAUSE THEY DID NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT I WAS LIVING

WITH.....THEY NEEDED TO KNOW NOW, SO THEY DID NOT HAVE RESENTMENT

THAT GREW AND GREW.....

MONDAY MORNING I GO FOR A 45 MINUTE MRI AND THEN I GET WHEELED

RIGHT TO HIM AND HE IS GOING TO READ THE RESULTS TO ME AND TO MY

HUSBAND....I TOLD HIM I WILL NOT START FROM THE BEGININNING, I AM

EXHAUSTED OF TEST AFTER 3 YEARS, BUT THAT I WILL DO THE MRI, HE

WANTS TO RULE OUT ANY INJURY, WITH ALL MY 16 YEARS OF EQUESTRIAN

YEARS IN THE SADDLE THERE IS A GREAT PERCENT OF INJURY THAT COULD BE

THERE....SO I AM DOING THE MRI ONLY AND THEN HE CAN HAVE WHAT HE

WILL.

HE ALREADY STARTED ME ON CYMBALTA FOR MY NEUROPATHY AND IT IS

WORKING AFTER ONE DAY......I THINK I HAVE COME FULL CIRCLE......

SO, ALL OF MY DEAR ARTHRITIS SUFFERERS, NEVER SAY NEVER, AND NEVER

EVER GIVE UP.....PLEASE, THERE IS ALWAYS ONE MORE AVENUE OF HELP OUT

THERE, IF YOU DO NOT LIKE YOUR DOCTOR - FIRE IS #@#, YOU ARE PAYING

FOR HIM, YOU ARE HIS BOSS, HE DID NOT HIRE YOU. FIND SOMEONE ELSE, I

KNOW IT IS EXHAUSTING, FRUSTRATING, JUST DIG DEEP DOWN INSIDE

YOURSELF AND ASK FOR HELP ON THIS GROUP AND WE WILL GET YOU THROUGH

IT. I DO NOT KNOW IF THIS DOCTOR CAN MAKE MY LIFE A BIT MORE

COMFORTABLE OR HAVE ME OUT OF MY WHEELCHAIR MORE EACH AND EVERY DAY

AND TRIP TO THE STORE, BUT IT IS LOOKING GOOD. ! CINDI