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Emotional Orphan

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It is really hurting me to realize that I must put a buffer zone

around me and my last FOO. My sister Janet is messed up with her

codependency and guilt for her actions and she is unable to enjoy

life or have fun. She derives happiness and joy from others versus

being able to feel joy inside herself. I just can't be around people

that lie to themselves anymore. I am past that and have moved on. It

would kill me inside to ever go back to that dysfunction. It is just

so hard to have to let go of the only blood relative you have. I

feel like and emotional orphan. It is hard to deal with the fact

that my nada, my 3 sister and my codependent friend (like a sister)

never really loved me. I know it is the way it is, but sometimes it

just hurts.

Mt theropist was 100% right. she said people don't get help until

the pain of the present becomes worse then the pain of the past.

Meaning, staying in that constant state of denial and pain is harder

to bear than going through the pain of fixing it.

Sometimes life just sucks!!!!

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