Hi

October 23, 2003

Hi Kate,

No need to be terrified, quite a natural reaction. Ms is surely a problem at times but it is a very manageable circumstance. There are a lot of things that you can do to help yourself. First and foremost is education. Learn as much as you can about ms. This will give you the confidence to know that there is no reason why you cannot have a happy, active and fulfilling life. Go to www.copingandprevailing If you cannot afford to pay for the book send me your mailing address and I will send it to you.

Regards,

Tom

Hi

Hi Everyone,I'm new here. I guess I should say I haven't been diagnosed and this is the only place that I feel at all comfortable discussing some of the problems I've been having. 2 years ago I was told that MS was a strong possibility by my GP and it was recommended that I go to a neurologist which I have ignored until now. I am terrified but have finally confided in my best friend and I am going to go to a neurologist. Thank you for being here, I've read some of the archived messages and am starting to understand a bit more. Thank You, Kate

November 29, 2003

I have only had the one. I am getting worse (bladder bowel and pain) I

don't have a doctor near. I am not sure if I would have another surgery. I

guess if it was absolutely necessary. I have read on the websites that some

people have had 3 or more, I guess it depends on the situation. Good luck

with whatever you decide.

>

>Reply-To: tetheredspinalcord

>To: tetheredspinalcord

>Subject: hi

>Date: Sat, 29 Nov 2003 06:34:20 +0000 (GMT)

>

>hi all - hope everyone is doing fine. A question

>please:

>

>How many surgeries have you guys gone through for

>tethered cord? I was operated at birth and then at age

>23 and I have to go in again for surgery now at age

>28. I have been told by the top neurosurgeons in the

>US that it is very very very unusual for people to go

>in for 3 surgeries..they say deterioration usually

>stops after the 1st or 2nd surgery.

>

>after reading mails on this group site, it seems a lot

>of you guys have gone in for repeat surgeries...anyone

>had 3 or more? Is this unusual or am I the only one

>who is continuing to deteriorate even after 2

>surgeries? I have no chiari or syrinx and can walk

>with braces on though i do have a neurological

>bladder..

>

>thanks and happy thanksgivign to all...

>shanz

>

> --- JUDY JEROME wrote:

>---------------------------------

>My thoughts are with you.

>

> >

> >Reply-To: tetheredspinalcord

> >To: tetheredspinalcord

> >Subject: Re: No Mail on groups, and surgery

>tomorrow

> >Date: Thu, 27 Nov 2003 17:31:07 -0000

> >

> >I do the same thing (no mail on groups, I mean). I

>get so much junk

> >in my mail boxes that there is always a risk of

>deleting the wrong

> >mail!

> >

> >I wanted to let everyone know that I'm having surgery

>tomorrow. I am

> >having a hysterectomy. I'm hoping that this will

> " settle " some of my

> >TC symptoms which become more severe during my cycle.

>I will check

> >back in as soon as I am able to. I will miss reading

>all of your

> >posts for a few days!

> >

> >Take care,

> > V.

> >

> > > Glad the mystery is solved!

> > > My mail gets delivered in various places too. I've

>got all my yahoo

> > > groups set for " no mail. " I check them all from

>the website and

> > > answer from there too, so I don't have to search

>for them in

> >strange

> > > places (and save my few remaining brain cells from

>overloading <g>)

> > > V

> >

>

>_________________________________________________________________

>Share holiday photos without swamping your Inbox. Get

>MSN Extra Storage

>now! http://join.msn.com/?PAGE=features/es

>

December 7, 2003

everyone's metabolism is different so keep that in mind. Try walking up and

down your steps 10 times in a row until your heart rate is slightly up and

you are breathing slightly heavy. Not gasping for air hunched over but

rather breathing heavy and your heart rate is up some. Once you can walk

up/down your steps 10 times and it is easy, up it to 20 times and so on. By

walking your steps, you will help your cardiovascular system get a good

workout and also burn off some of the excess fat your body is storing. So,

if you limit your carbs to like 15 grams per meal and do some walking or

steps 3 or 4 times a week, you'll drop some weight. Like I said though,

everyone's body is different so *don't* be to hard on yourself, ok?

hi

> >

> > > hi just wanted to let everyone know that I am starting my carb

counting,

> > this morning I had two pieces of toast and three eggs with cheese I also

> > bought turkey for turkey and cheese sandwiches which I have tried for

lunch

> > yesterday, I still crave chips or something with my sandwich but I am

hoping

> > in time its easier to fight that,. is there anything else that I can

sub,

> > with the sandwich to kill that craving for the chips? either way, the

lunch

> > was good and so was the breakfast. so here is hoping.

> > > shane

> > >

December 7, 2003

ya, that is true Harry. After a week or two Shane you wil begin to lose your

carbohydrate cravings so hang in there. Some folks take longer than that,

like a month, but once you stick to moderately carbing after a while, you

just won't crave them.

hi

>

> > hi just wanted to let everyone know that I am starting my carb counting,

> this morning I had two pieces of toast and three eggs with cheese I also

> bought turkey for turkey and cheese sandwiches which I have tried for

lunch

> yesterday, I still crave chips or something with my sandwich but I am

hoping

> in time its easier to fight that,. is there anything else that I can sub,

> with the sandwich to kill that craving for the chips? either way, the

lunch

> was good and so was the breakfast. so here is hoping.

> > shane

> >

December 7, 2003

Oh with your sugars under control Harry you won't die from a heart attack

related to diabetes, that is for certain. I admire you for walking, or

wanting to start walking, 6 times a week but man take it easy. Most

diabetics walk to keep sugar under control but man 6 days? Won't you get

burned out? Can't you just say 3 or 4 days is good enough and control that

perfectionistic side of yours *smile*? I know you are walking in part for

your heart but take easy Harry... you are doing great already so why do you

need to improve? Look at your last a1c and the other lab readings/results.

They are perfect. Please don't walk more if you think you need to improve

your health because you are doign great man. It is perfect Harry, or near

perfect. Well, just trying to encourage you to take it easy man!

hi

> > >

> > > > hi just wanted to let everyone know that I am starting my carb

> counting,

> > > this morning I had two pieces of toast and three eggs with cheese I

also

> > > bought turkey for turkey and cheese sandwiches which I have tried for

> lunch

> > > yesterday, I still crave chips or something with my sandwich but I am

> hoping

> > > in time its easier to fight that,. is there anything else that I can

> sub,

> > > with the sandwich to kill that craving for the chips? either way, the

> lunch

> > > was good and so was the breakfast. so here is hoping.

> > > > shane

> > > >

December 7, 2003

Hi Rita.

Lets face it... some in life will be big boned, some middle-sized boned, and

some petite boned. We have to master the hand of cards we have been dealt in

life and each of us *master* our own bodies since they are all distinctly

different, beautiful, and unique in their own ways. For example, my mom is

66 and 5 foot 3 and weighs 150 pounds. Considering 9 months ago she weighed

185 and her cholesterol was 290 prior to low carbing, with her son's help

obviously LOL, she now has a cholesterol reading of 197 and her weight is

150. Her back and knees no longer bother her and she is walking 2 miles a

day and feeling great about herself. She knows she is chubby but she is very

comfortable with her body, her weight, and knowing that her lab work is near

perfect now she feels overall better about her health. She will never go

below 150 and will always be slightly chubby. That is just her build. She

will never be that blond barbiedoll weighing a buck 5 and big boobs and a

tight but etc. She will always be chubby mom but a *healthy* chubby mom.

The main thing is if your a1c is 5.0 to 5.5, and your cholesterol levels

LDL/HDL/Trigliserites are all within normal range, than you are ok. You may

never be what some call skinny, but you can be comfortable with yourself at

the weight you can reach/lose to. I.E if you can only lose to be 145 or 150

then so be it. At least that is better than 185 in my mom's situation. I

used to weigh 210 and now weigh 155 so I lost the weight. However, my bone

mass is small, my metabolism is furious, my mom's big boned, her metabolism

is so slow she could get fat off eating lettuce LOL, my older brother is big

boned and fatter, etc. It all is in what genetics you were dealt. Some can

drop weight like it is effortless and others must struggle to do it. Hang in

there, you can lose weight, but *don't* compare your weight to anyone else.

You must *master* your *own* body and what weight you can get it down to and

hold excellent blood work in your lab readings. Like I said, my mom is 150,

considered about 20 to 30 pounds over weight for her size, but her blood lab

work is perfect.

I guess I am saying... hang in there, do what you can, and don't be to hard

on yourself nor compare your weight to others. Even if you lose 1 pound a

month, that is 1 pound. See the glass half full, not half empty. See the 1

pound as progress, not as man this is not going to work. 1 pound is 1 pound

Rita!

I will tell you... cut your carbs to 15 grams per meal and walk up/down your

steps at a decent speed 10 to 15 times until your heart rate is elevated and

you are breathing slightly heavy... not gasping for air hunched over

coughing. That isn't exercise, that is torture. If you have a treadmill, hit

it for about 10 minutes 3 or 4 times a week. Once you get comfortable with

that, up it to 15 minutes 3 or 4 times a week. Most people who start

exercising never last since they get way to crazy about it like walking 20

minutes 7 days a week etc. You'll get burned out. Take it easy, start into

it slow, so you can stick with it. If you jump in with both feet and go

crazy, you'll burn out and quit. Trust me, I know *smile*.

If you need encouraged or any tips/advice, just ask me and I'll help you the

best I can. I was able to help my mom drop some of her weight and get her

lab work/blood levels back into normal range.

Just remember Rita, your name is Rita, not barbiedoll. Get my point? *smile*

Re: hi

>

> > Harry! I admire your success and am delighted with your superior

health.

> > Are you saying there is no hope? Growl!

> >

> > Rita

> >

December 8, 2003

Oh thank you so much for your encouragement. Also thanks to .

I will write more later and yes I'll go for it.

Hug,

Rita

December 8, 2003

sounds good Rita. You'll do fine.

regards,

Re: hi

> Oh thank you so much for your encouragement. Also thanks to .

> I will write more later and yes I'll go for it.

>

> Hug,

>

> Rita

>

December 9, 2003

Rita, Atkins has a super low carb dite, but if you do not reduce the total

calories you are taking in, protein and fat included, you are not going to

lose weight. I know a person who does only about 30 grams of protein a day,

but he eats close to a pund of meat at his meals and has therefore actually

gained weight! he does not like vegetaables, so eats hardly any of those!

Re: hi

Hi Harry, Shane and list,

I know of course your main concern is tight bgs control. Atkins suggests

no more than twenty or thirty caarbs a day and yet you drop weight with

fifty a day. hmmmmm I am confused. And still fat! Rita

> Have you set a goal for the maximum number of carbohydrate grams per day

or

> per meal or snack you will consume? I love chips, but they are now a no

no

> for me, since they are loaded with carbs. For a crunchy and salty taste I

> munch on a few roasted nuts. It seems to help me. I consume around an

> average of 50 plus or minus 10 grams of carbs per day, and it took me

almost

> a week to get over those carb cravings. I have more energy now, and in

the

> past five months I have lost 22 pounds. Be prepared to buy new clothes,

> since you will probably drop a size or two in your clothes requirement.

> hi

>

> > hi just wanted to let everyone know that I am starting my carb counting,

> this morning I had two pieces of toast and three eggs with cheese I also

> bought turkey for turkey and cheese sandwiches which I have tried for

lunch

> yesterday, I still crave chips or something with my sandwich but I am

hoping

> in time its easier to fight that,. is there anything else that I can sub,

> with the sandwich to kill that craving for the chips? either way, the

lunch

> was good and so was the breakfast. so here is hoping.

> > shane

> >

July 24, 2005

I have a defined pulling sensation from my lower back that goes down into my

tailbone.

Simple things like shaving my legs will cause that sensation. Its like a dog

being on a chain and running, forgetting there is an end to

it...........snaps me back instantly. Once it gets pulled, sometimes over the

slightest

movement.......it just aches and aches for days.

Thats one of the major problems I have that leads me to believe I am

tethered.

I have a nice size lipoma also........one that never showed in any previous

MRIs. (one in 93, and in 2003, both were clear of any lipoma and my dad was an

xray tech and he even looked to make sure)

Like I said, I have other back problems as well so its hard to pinpoint

exactly what is tsc and what is other back related stuff. (unstable facet

joints,

lot of movement in the SI joints, hip pain, lower leg nerve damage, a

bulging disc, degenerative disc disease, plus the SBO......and now arthritis is

setting in also, what FUN it is to get old.)

Jules

Jules, when you say that you have all the symptoms of a tc, what exactly are

they?

July 24, 2005

The symptoms all sound the same as mine...I guess all the degenerative stuff

and herniated stuff and arthritis goes along with the territory. All my

life I had leg pain, but I only recently started with back pain that I can

contribute to SB. The pulling is the worst...there is no relief.

July 24, 2005

I use a lot of ICE which seems to help most of the time. Its soothing if

nothing else.

They say not to have ice on for long lengths of time but I have actually

fallen asleep for hours with an ice pack (well wrapped so its not freezing me)

I cut an old pair of panty hose.......cut the legs and crotch out so it was

like one big elastic band, pull it on and shove the ice bag where I need it

and it STAYS in one spot without moving around. It works great.

Perhaps you could try the ice method for a little while to see if it brings

any relief.

Dont be like me and keep it on for hours. LOL

I am just used to it.

Jules

The symptoms all sound the same as mine...I guess all the degenerative stuff

and herniated stuff and arthritis goes along with the territory. All my

life I had leg pain, but I only recently started with back pain that I can

contribute to SB. The pulling is the worst...there is no relief.

July 24, 2005

Never tried ice...but twice fell asleep with a heating pad on my leg (the leg

that has no feeling)...bad move. Burned it twice so badly it blistered!!

July 25, 2005

Well I dont recommend falling asleep with the ice then!

I only use the ice on my lower back and it feels soothing to me....it helps

in my opinion.

Like when the pain pills and muscle relaxers just cant help anymore, the ice

on top of it seems to do the trick.

I cant put dry heat on my back like a heating pad. OMG it is way too

painful. It might help others but not me. Now I can get in my hot tub until I

look

like a lobster and I am so relaxed my legs are wobbly.......that helps, but

not dry heat for some reason.

And no more heating pads for you lady! OUCH! Thats dangerous!

Jules

Never tried ice...but twice fell asleep with a heating pad on my leg (the

leg

that has no feeling)...bad move. Burned it twice so badly it blistered!!

July 25, 2005

Hi, I am Judy. I haven't been on in a while. I have tethered cord. I have

no doctor to call. I am having pain in the area of tethering (I had a

detether, but it reattached) - My pain was always leg pain, nothing else.

This feels like a knife with an air bubble going in and out. Any ideas

anyone?

>

>Reply-To: tetheredspinalcord

>To: tetheredspinalcord

>Subject: Re: Hi

>Date: Sat, 23 Jul 2005 15:02:04 -0000

>

>No problem.

>

>However, just because this kind of information is often sensative.

>I want you to understand that I am in no way qualified to give

>medical advice and am certainly in no position to say that Dr.

>Wisoff can in fact surgically treat you.

>

>However, I do believe he is an exceptional neurosurgeons and worth--

>if for nothing else--consultating with you on this matter because he

>has followed up on tcs with many patients and is recognized as a top

>surgeon in the field, investigating surgical and non-surgical

>methods of treatment.

>

>Some people have also had good experiences with Dr. Mckormick(might

>have spelled this wrong) who is affiliated with columbia

>presbyterian.

>

> > Hi Jules

> > I have seen your name many times on this website. You seem to be

>so very

> > supportive with everyone.

> > Right off the bat, someone e-mailed me with the name of a top

>pediatric

> > neurosurgeon in NYU that did his second untethering

>procedure...information I have

> > been trying to get for so many years. The person did not leave a

>signature,

> > but through the e-mail address, thank you so very much.

> > I was told about 20 years or so ago that if I continued to go from

>one doctor

> > to another that someone was going to talk me into surgery, and

>that

> > particular doctor did not agree that I should take a chance. Ten

>years or so later

> > though I don't think that I have that choice anymore. I am scared

>to death of

> > surgery, but I do want to know what the future holds if I do not

>go for it.

> > Maybe now I can get some answers.

> >

> > Thank you all for the so very quick response.

> > I am addicted to the website checking in a few times a day. I

>feel without

> > knowing any of you that I truly know all of you.

> >

> > It's a beautiful day here today in NYC; clear and not as humid as

>it has been

> > all week.

> > I hope all have a wonderful day.

> >

> > Ann

> >

July 25, 2005

Hi Judy I have a neurologist that doesn't have a clue...and he's one of

the best in the area, but when it comes to SB, it goes right over his head.

I'm trying to get an appointment with a pediatric neurosurgeon at NYU in NYC,

but the secretary said " I have to see if he'll see you " , and if he can, it's

a Sept appointment. It's like banging your head against the wall. Tonight I

had a good cry and fluffed it all off. I figure one of these days, I'll just

go to the emergency room and they'll have to deal with me!

I have the same leg pain and pulling and it drives me crazy...but noone

really hears it.

I just pop pills and more pills and try to numb it to get some rest.

I hope you find someone who can help you

Ann

July 25, 2005

Ann, if you didnt live in NYC I'd SWEAR we had the same damn Dr!!

I had to wait 2 1/2 months for my last NS appt and he dismissed me as quick

as the one that referred me did!

I was so MAD I could have done the world a favor and choked him out! One

less idiot Dr in the world!

I know what you mean about popping pill after pill because you are banging

your head against the wall repeatedly.

I hope you get somewhere with the ped ns! Might as well make the appt and

see what he has to say. You're still gonna be hurting in Sept right? Might as

well see him since you wont have anything else to do!

Who knows, he may just be the ONE with all the answers. (dont hold your

breath though, blue isnt a very good color sometimes, especially that shade)

Just

give it a shot, give him a shot.........and if all else fails, choke him

out. *smile* (and take pics ok?)

Jules

I have a neurologist that doesn't have a clue...and he's one of

the best in the area, but when it comes to SB, it goes right over his head.

I'm trying to get an appointment with a pediatric neurosurgeon at NYU in

NYC,

but the secretary said " I have to see if he'll see you " , and if he can, it's

a Sept appointment. It's like banging your head against the wall. Tonight

I

had a good cry and fluffed it all off. I figure one of these days, I'll

just

go to the emergency room and they'll have to deal with me!

I have the same leg pain and pulling and it drives me crazy...but noone

really hears it.

I just pop pills and more pills and try to numb it to get some rest.

I hope you find someone who can help you

Ann

July 26, 2005

My mother has SBO and no back problems whatsoever. I have SBO and have so

many back and mobility problems its pathetic.

I was told by many Drs that SBO normally doesnt cause any problems after the

growth spurt in the teens BUT.........have a major back injury (l have had 2

major back injuries) with SBO and your whole world can be turned upside

down......like mine has been.

My mom had to have a back xray to get a job as a nursing assistant about 20

years ago. They diagnosed her with SBO at that time. They were NOT going to

hire her because with SBO she was more prone to back injuries because of the

defect.

She DID get the job but she had to see a few Drs and jump through a bunch of

hoops to get it.

My mom can outwork any 2 full grown men and has never had one tiny back pain

in her life. She is 60 years old.

I have been like this since I was 26 and I will be 40 in Sept, and all my

SBO has done is get worse, coupled with the back injuries.

So please let your kids with SBO know that they are not out of the woods. If

they ever get injured they could have a myriad of back problems real fast.

Jules

I was diagnosed at 36 and am now 43 (had to add up the years to figure my

age out...ikes.) I have four children. They've all been MRI'd and two have

Spina Bifida Occulta, but no other defects and the SBO will not cause any

problems.

July 26, 2005

Hi Ann

You have some great hospitals available to you in the NYC area and doctors

that specialize in neural tube defects. I wonder if you're asking for the

" right " type of doctor. Maybe it's asking about Spina Bifida Occulta (SBO)?

If so, that's not really anything a doctor would specialize in; however, if

you ask what neurologist or neurosurgeon specializes in neural tube defects,

then I'm sure you'd hit upon some. Even up here in the Maine woods I have

doctors that specialize in neural tube defects (my neurosurgeon does.)

I was diagnosed at 36 and am now 43 (had to add up the years to figure my

age out...ikes.) I have four children. They've all been MRI'd and two have

Spina Bifida Occulta, but no other defects and the SBO will not cause any

problems.

I have lipomeningocele (spinal cord is tethered to a lipoma at the base of

my spine and the tumor is intra and extra dural.)

This list is great. I'll try to remember the name of the neurosurgeon that

I was going to see a few years ago in NYC. I'll be visiting your area

within the next twelve weeks or so. My brother-in-law lives on Staten

Island with his family. I love visiting the city.

So glad you found us and that you've already found some help.

Kathy

co-owner and mgr. of tethered cord list.

Hi

> Hi. My name is Ann and I am new to the website. I have been reading

> your letters and I am amazed to find that I am not the only adult living

with

> SB. Most of the doctors all of my life had me pretty much believing I was

an

> oddity. I read letter after letter and I sit

> with my mouth open realizing that the stories I read could be my own. So

> many people discribe the feelings and the pain I feel every day...however

I

> realize how lucky I am compared to so many that have had surgery after

surgery, or

> are confined to a wheelchair.

>

> I just turned 52 this week. I am married 29 years with two healthy

children

> (thank God).

> My daughter is 25 and my son is 20. I live in the NYC area and I work as

a

> medical receptionist.

>

> When I was born, my mom took me from one doctor to another about the

" dimple "

> on my back. She was told that it was merely a birthmark. Growing up, the

> pains in my right leg were " obviously " growing pains. When I was 14 and

> fractured my toe and it doubled in size and turned all colors, but I

hadn't

> remembered doing anything to it, they got a little suspicious and did a

myelogram.

> They told my parents at that time that I had Spina Bifida Occulta and that

I

> would probably never have children. My mom was besides herself and hid

that

> information from me for years.

> I met my husband when I was 14, he was 16. We dated all through high

school

> and worked toward putting together a wedding and an apartment before we

> married 8 years later.

>

> I always had loss of feeling in my right leg, no reflexes, but terrible

> terrible pain down the leg into the ankle part. As I got older, the

sensations

> changed, but the pain got worse. Year after year I would go from one

neurologist

> to another, noone fully understanding the condition. I would be handed

> prescriptions, ordered to go for therapy and pain management centers. I

was later

> upgraded to being diagnosed with SB with a tethered cord and lipoma.

Most of

> the time I was told that SB in adults was not understood, as most do not

grow

> to a very ripe old age.

>

> I have all kinds of herniated discs cervical and lumbar. I suffered neck

pain

> for a few months a few years back from the hernations, but never had any

back

> pain from the spina bifida.

> When I explained to doctors that having a full bladder created leg pain,

or

> that constipation created havoc with the pain, I was fluffed off; noone

quite

> got it.

> With all of that until only maybe three months ago, I have never never

> suffered back pain...only leg pain. I recently have pain so bad by my

waist/hip and

> down my leg that I don't ever get a decent night's sleep. I take whatever

> pain killers I can get my hands on by the handfuls. Going to the movies

or

> theatre is a nightmare because I cannot sit still without terrible pain.

>

> I have learned more about myself from the people on this website than any

> doctor I have every seen or any website I have browsed.

> I am learning things from the experiences of real people living

couregously

> with this all of their lives.

>

> I worry about aging with SB. It seems that the pain is getting so bad. I

> was never ever offered the possibility of untethering my spina cord.

Maybe

> because of my age...maybe it's too late...but I worry about being able to

walk in

> a few years, as I find now that the back pain is getting more and more

> intense.

> I cannot find a doctor who specializes in SB in the NYC area. If anyone

> knows where I can start, I would appreciate it. I have tried to contact

some

> facilities on the SBA website...but

> each phone number I contact gives me another until I wind up back where I

> started.

>

> I know that now SB is recognized in the delivery room...not like in the

> dinosaur days when I was born. I know that there is help for newborns and

for that

> I am greatful, since I do not know how my future grandchildren will be

> affected; something I worry about so very much.

> I wonder how much worse my pain will become as I get older, and whether or

> not I can look forward to my ripe old years with my wonderful husband.

>

> I am greatful that I found this website, if for nothing else to know that

I

> an not alone.

> I wish all of you painfree days...or moments...sometimes realizing that

for a

> few moments I am not hurting is like a gift. I stop and try to capture

the

> feeling (or lack of).

>

> My best to all of you,

> Ann

>

November 10, 2006

Hi Everyone

Woke up to about 6 " of snow this morning. It's the wet heavy kind.

Spent time outside shoveling the front steps and walk and the back

patio. It only took me two hours to do it as I kept taking a

break. When my son stopped by after work he yelled at me for doing

it. He said that next time that either he would shovel or else Dean

could do it. I just laughed at him because Dean will say he doesn't

have time to do it. He comes home from his full time job and wants

to get right to work at his his other job. He runs a small engine

repair business out of the garage. Right now he doesn't have any

machines to fix. He probably will after tonight because of all the

snow. When Dean came home he asked why I didn't shovel out the

trailer that he uses to pick machines up with. I told him that I

shoveled the front steps, walk and patio and that my feet hurt. I

told him that he could shovel it, but he said that he didn't have

time. Well he went and shoveled out the back driveway and the

trailer. He's pissed at me now and won't talk. It seems like there

are times when he just doesn't understand the pain that I'm in. Oh

well he'll get over it.

Hugs

Diane - Minnesota

November 11, 2006

Hugs Diane,

Please never do that again! If hubby can't do it, then it will just have to stay

there till it melts. I'm so sorry he doesn't understand that you hurt so bad. I

agree with what Sue said about taking him to your doc. Unfortunately my 20 yr

relationship/marriage ended a yr and a half after I got sick. Not to discourage

you and perhaps it will work with your husband too, but it didn't with mine. He

just refused to know anything about my illnesses, he just wanted them to go

away. Well, gee, so did I. lol You must stop doing stuff like this. I feel it is

sending him a massage that you CAN do these things, not that you suffer so much

from doing them. As you see, he just expected more when he saw what you had

done.

And in the future if he asks you to do something that is more than you can

handle, that is, something that will cause you great pain, tell him you aren't

able to do that task, he'll have to find another way of getting it done. You are

the one who has to suffer, not him.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but I get so upset with men who just won't

understand. Not that they " don't " understand, they just won't. It's just so

selfish of him

And my fiancee now, well he is totally understanding, he will even bathe me if I

can't and shave my legs. He knows I can't do things. I'm so blessed to have him

and don't know what I'd do without him, he is my rock. While I'm without an

Aide, he has been doing ALL of the house cleaning and he has health issues of

his own. He has pain too. He has chronic pancreatitis and a bad back. So, he

does know pain. I guess that could make a difference in whether he understands

me or not. He knew I was sick when we got together. I was upfront with him from

the get go. We've been together 7 yrs now, don't know if we'll ever get married,

but we've lived together for 6 yrs. lol

I hope you aren't in too much pain today and have plenty of pain meds. Now treat

yourself and do nothing but pamper yourself this weekend!!

Big hugs,

-Tommie/ Oklahoma