Guest guest Posted January 4, 2007 Report Share Posted January 4, 2007 Greg, I am glad you came to these realizations and a peaceful decision in your own heart and mind. In no way should you be subject to his comments. You have suffered more than enough abuse in your life as a child and you don't need any more as an adult. I am proud of you for standing up for yourself. This is obviously a milestone for you since Drs were a strong authority in your mindset. So Very Good for standing up for yourself and taking care of your self and shame to the Dr who knew your fear and abused his power. You are doing the right thing. Again you reached another milestone and accomplishment. I am proud. Love Lizzy > > > > Greg, > > As a newbie to the group, I have to say that I have found your posts > to be insightful, truthful and so supportive of others while at the > same time respecting their own personal issues and choices. I think > that you must possess a great deal of emotional intelligence for that. > > I wonder what experience your therapist has had with KO BPD, it > sounds like you need to find one who " fits " you better. In the > meantime, please know that you are supported here, even if it's just > good thoughts sent your way! > > Take care, > O. > > > Hey Everyone, > > > > I had therapy today, early this afternoon. It has taken this long > to calm down enough to write coherently, and I still am not sure how > this is going to come out. I had just explained a dream and the > feelings that I used to have and that are now coming back as I've > gone n/c with my mom to my psychiatrist. I was very vulnerable and > even told him so. He said, " Your emotional IQ must be very low. Oh, > that didn't sound right. " From the look on my face, I gathered that > he realized he made a huge Freudian slip. I asked him, " What makes > you say that? " And he tried to skirt it. He said that I may have > problems reading people's emotions, people's body language, etc. > THAT IS ALL BULL SHIT. If anything, I'm too acute at reading these > things. So I stayed right with it and said " What indicators show > you that I have a lack of emotional skill sets? I realize that, as a > child of a mother who has BPd And a father that had APD I have some > difficult times trusting people, but it > > just takes me longer. " He told me that b/c I was not mirrored > properly, it's only natural that I would have deficits. I agreed, > but that first statement had a harsh, quick tone to it that stings to > this moment. I also told him that while I was in school last year, > we had one class that the prof encouraged us to take all these very > expensive psych tests, as they were freee or next to free. I did and > my score on teh emotional IQ was very high. I told him this and he > just laughed. He's missed 3 appointments out of 8 and I didn't like > his remark 3 weeks ago that he had me scheduled in his calendar > indefinitely. He wasn't laughing: Tuesdays at 1:30. This is not > what feel right; it's not what I signed up for. When I ask himabout > the treatment plan, he gets vague and skirts the question and then > when something emotionally hard comes up, he says, " Well, this is why > we need to keep working on your past, as it effects your present > dating.... " Yes, and NO. If I listen to > > only my gut intuition, it is telling me to end the " therapy. " He > is after my money. he is helping on the way, but isn't putting much > effort into it. After many sentences he said today, I reminded him > what it was like having a BPD mother and what UBM said about it. I > think that this irritated him. He told me in the beginning that he > has some experience treating BPD and KO BPD. I'm not sure he's had > enough, b/c the things he is saying are so not a part of the BPD > world. He's a nice guy, but i'm not paying for nice. and that > comment almost first thing was anything but nice. I know that > therapy is a form of manipulation with consent, one-way relationship, > built on trust. Was he manipulating me to get me to feel other > feelings or transference or what???????? ?? The last thing is that I > read about other people's posts about how they feel good after > sessions and I don't. I feel worse. Any advice or comments are > welcome..... ...Thanks. Greg. > > > > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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