Re: Debbie--Re: Depression

[Guest guest]

Hi Debbie,

Although we may not be able to help your hubby until he realizes that he needs help with his depression, there's a good chance I can help you by telling you how I've dealt with my depression. This past month I grew so discouraged that I picked out a church at random and stopped in to visit with one of its pastors, telling him of my depression and cancer fears. Even though your hubby may not be open to doing the same, it could well work for you. My medical condition hasn't gotten better but my attitude has become noticeably better since I feel the support of that church and the nice people in it just as a result of stopping in that one day and seeking help (and crying my eyes out).

Just as you must miss the intimacy your hubby used to provide, I was missing the contact and support of my 3 sons. They weren't phoning or writing me, even though they knew my situation has been grave---and I felt all alone in my cancer battle. By trying to get closer to God, I forgave them (at the pastor's urging) so I wasn't "looking" for an email or phone call from them anymore as I had been doing everyday prior----which just been deepening my disappointment and depression.

In other words my expectations of them fell to nearly zero and I made a "deal" with God that I'd forgive their neglect if only He would help me feel better. I also began looking for things I could be grateful for. Just as people go to California's coastline to spot whales, I call my newly adopted attitude "miracle spotting". Sure enough within just days of forgiving my 3 sons for not being more attentive to me, and reducing my expectations of them to zero, I received an email from Son #3. Then one day later I got a brief email from Son #1. 2 out of 3 ain't bad after going for weeks with no contact from them despite my recent re-hospitalization.

Perhaps those events weren't miracles....but they sure were "coincidences". What's more important, even though I cannot change them, I have changed and I feel more calm and peace about the turmoil around me. I hope you will try something similar and feel the calm and peace and love that comes to you from Him thus reducing your depression. And maybe, just maybe, once you begin feeling better, who knows? Hubby may want to know how you did it!

God is blessing you already, (and others reading this post who need freedom from depression) I just know it.

RJ

RE: Debbie--Re: Depression

Thank you for your response to my question... I cannoy convince my husband he is in depression.... Before my husband was told he had this terminal illness, he was in alot of pain... so no intimacy before he started receiving injection and none in the future... because of the injection..I think he feels the loss of that part of our marriage..which i have told him its not what is important...He stays REAL busy.... fixing things, visiting neighbors... seems as if hes avoiding all issues...So his depression is different then mine..

[Guest guest]

IMMORTALITY

Many scientists believe that the earth was formed about 4.56 billion

years ago. About 4 billion years ago, a bit of protoplasm was

floating around in some brackish water, when suddenly it was

zapped by a bolt of lightning and the very first life was formed.

(Some of you are permitted to think that the bolt of lightning was

actually the hand of God. According to Bishop Usher, that

first life was formed as Adam at 9 A.M. on Oct. 26, 4004. He

did not say whether that was Daylight Saving Time or not.)

At any rate, that first little cell soon grew to such an extent that

it had to split into two cells. Those two then split and soon there

were little cells everywhere. For about 2.8 billion years these

cells reproduced asexually by just splitting into two cells. But

about 1.1 billion years ago, sex was invented. Suddenly millions

of new organisms were developed.

But there was a price to pay for this new found fun. Up until

then, the little single cell organisms were immortal, no natural

death. But after sex was invented, there was mortality. They

lived for a time, then died.

However, there was still a road to immortality provided by sex.

That is half of each offspring derives from you. So the more

offspring one has, the more of your genes are left behind.

The urge to reproduce in humans, animals, plants, bacteria and

every other living thing, is one of the strongest drives known.

Another road to immortality is to be a great writer such as

Shakespeare, or Sir Isaac Newton, or any of the other

geniuses who still live on in their contributions.

We can't all be great writers, philosophers or inventors,

but we can leave contributions. For instance, you can

plant trees, build a nice house, volunteer to give of

yourself to others or thousands of other things for which

you may be remembered.

Of course, the reproduction part is still the most fun.

I wish you all the bestAubrey Pilgrim, DC (Ret.)Author of A Revolutionary Approach to Prostate Cancer-Read the original book for free at: www.prostatepointers.org/prostate/lay/apilgrimRead the new edition for free at http://www.cancer.prostate-help.org/capilgr.htmDr. E. Crawford is co-author of the revision

Well said EverandEverard wrote:

Debbie,If you think you are going to die I think it is quite common for many people to try to do as much for others as they can before they become unable to do anything for themselves. I don't think this is depression I think it is a very positive response to life after receiving a reminder that we are not immortal.

<snip>

Who knows? I'm not a psychologist so whatever I say is probably rubbish.

Everard

[Guest guest]

There was very little evolution before sex was invented. There must

have been some changes due to environment. But still only one

cell organisms were the only earthly life.

Aubrey

And what about evolution? APilgrm@... wrote:

IMMORTALITY

Many scientists believe that the earth was formed about 4.56 billion

years ago. About 4 billion years ago, a bit of protoplasm was

floating around in some brackish water, when suddenly it was

zapped by a bolt of lightning and the very first life was formed.

(Some of you are permitted to think that the bolt of lightning was

actually the hand of God. According to Bishop Usher, that

first life was formed as Adam at 9 A.M. on Oct. 26, 4004. He

did not say whether that was Daylight Saving Time or not.)

At any rate, that first little cell soon grew to such an extent that

it had to split into two cells. Those two then split and soon there

were little cells everywhere. For about 2.8 billion years these

cells reproduced asexually by just splitting into two cells. But

about 1.1 billion years ago, sex was invented. Suddenly millions

of new organisms were developed.

But there was a price to pay for this new found fun. Up until

then, the little single cell organisms were immortal, no natural

death. But after sex was invented, there was mortality. They

lived for a time, then died.

However, there was still a road to immortality provided by sex.

That is half of each offspring derives from you. So the more

offspring one has, the more of your genes are left behind.

The urge to reproduce in humans, animals, plants, bacteria and

every other living thing, is one of the strongest drives known.

Another road to immortality is to be a great writer such as

Shakespeare, or Sir Isaac Newton, or any of the other

geniuses who still live on in their contributions.

We can't all be great writers, philosophers or inventors,

but we can leave contributions. For instance, you can

plant trees, build a nice house, volunteer to give of

yourself to others or thousands of other things for which

you may be remembered.

Of course, the reproduction part is still the most fun.

I wish you all the bestAubrey Pilgrim, DC (Ret.)

[Guest guest]

Well said EverandEverard wrote: Debbie,If you think you are going to die I think it is quite common for many people to try to do as much for others as they can before they become unable to do anything for themselves. I don't think this is depression I think it is a very positive response to life after receiving a reminder that we are not immortal. <snip> Who knows? I'm not a psychologist so whatever I say is probably rubbish. Everard

The prostate cancer facts, a forum for survival stats, end of life, and other issues we normally don't discuss. So if your looking for this type of support information stop on by.

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Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates starting at 1¢/min.

[Guest guest]

And what about evolution? APilgrm@... wrote: IMMORTALITY Many scientists believe that the earth was formed about 4.56 billion years ago. About 4 billion years ago, a bit of protoplasm was floating around in some brackish water, when suddenly it was zapped by a bolt of lightning and the very first life was formed. (Some of you are permitted to think that the bolt of lightning was actually the hand of God. According to Bishop Usher, that first life was formed as Adam at 9 A.M. on Oct. 26, 4004. He did not say whether that was Daylight Saving Time or not.) At any

rate, that first little cell soon grew to such an extent that it had to split into two cells. Those two then split and soon there were little cells everywhere. For about 2.8 billion years these cells reproduced asexually by just splitting into two cells. But about 1.1 billion years ago, sex was invented. Suddenly millions of new organisms were developed. But there was a price to pay for this new found fun. Up until then, the little single cell organisms were immortal, no natural death. But after sex was invented, there was mortality. They lived for a time, then died. However, there was still a road to immortality provided by sex. That is half of each offspring derives from you. So the more offspring one has, the more of your genes are left behind. The

urge to reproduce in humans, animals, plants, bacteria and every other living thing, is one of the strongest drives known. Another road to immortality is to be a great writer such as Shakespeare, or Sir Isaac Newton, or any of the other geniuses who still live on in their contributions. We can't all be great writers, philosophers or inventors, but we can leave contributions. For instance, you can plant trees, build a nice house, volunteer to give of yourself to others or thousands of other things for which you may be remembered. Of course, the reproduction part is still the most fun. I wish you all the bestAubrey Pilgrim, DC (Ret.)Author of A Revolutionary Approach to Prostate

Cancer-Read the original book for free at: www.prostatepointers.org/prostate/lay/apilgrimRead the new edition for free at http://www.cancer.prostate-help.org/capilgr.htmDr. E. Crawford is co-author of the revision Well said EverandEverard wrote: Debbie,If you think you are going to die I think it is quite common for many people to try to do as much for others as they can before they become unable to do anything for themselves. I don't think this is depression I think it is a very positive response to life after receiving a reminder that we are not immortal. <snip> Who knows? I'm not a psychologist so whatever I say is probably rubbish. Everard

Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. PC-to-Phone calls for ridiculously low rates.

[Guest guest]

Wow..Thank you..You have put this all in a different light... And I think your right that he is trying to help other people before he no longer can...

Debbie

[Guest guest]

I like it Aubrey....gave me a chuckle to start my day.

[Guest guest]

I like it Aubrey....gave me a chuckle to start my day.

Thanks

I wish you all the bestAubrey

[Guest guest]

Thank you very much Sammy- good to hear from you. You said

it much better than I did.

Aubrey

Nice one Aubrey. I like the theory because it fits very well with the facts we see around us. In particular when you say :

> But there was a price to pay for this new found fun. Up until then, the little single cell organisms were immortal, no natural death. But after sex was invented, there was mortality. They lived for a time, then died.

It could be construed by Creationists that Original Sin has been programmmed into sexual reproduction as a punishment for having fun. Fundamentalists of the Judeo-Christian-Islamic creed through the ages have blamed Eve for this and tried to make her life difficult by burning her of witchery, making her hide her body and face away in shame, by denying her education and by making access to medical care even during childbirth difficult or impossible. I'd hate to think such a good idea as sexual reproduction could end up down the plug-hole of Creationist clap-trap. Hence the need for clarification.

Clarification: Sexual reproduction produces physical variations within the overall genetic blueprint for a species. This is due to the splitting of the DNA double helix during meiosis (a specialised form of cell division) in the male and female germ cell, thereby enabling a 'child cell' to form with DNA from both parents. The offspring-variations have a much greater chance of success in a competetive environment through Natural Selection. In order to maintain the competetive edge acquired by a species or sub-species, it is more advantageous for the younger (successful) generations to pass on their genetic material, hence the older generation cells producing less efficient offspring, need to be got out of the way. Mortality (giving individuals in the species a 'life-time') is simply another selective adaptation that has naturally evolved to further the interests of the species. Indeed, in lower life form it is not unusual to witness the death of the parents as soon as they have mated, fertilised and released the next generation cells.

Higher animals, mammals in particular, and humans especially are capable of reproduction into their middle age. In higher animals, extending the individual's life-time past the point of viable reproduction has value-added potential for the species. The role of the longer living matriarch in human society is inestimable; it probably accounts for human advancement past other ape social systems. The matriarch ensures that our primary tools for survival in the wild - tool making skills and coherent knowledge about the world - are passed from generation to generation with 'value added' so that as a race we continue to evolve to this day. That's the theory anyway. Unfortunately another force is at work in war zones around the world creating a class of traumatised and fragmented individuals who have no protective family network. That should be a sobering thought to us all.

Sammy.

[Guest guest]

Nice one Aubrey. I like the theory because it fits very well with the facts we see around us. In particular when you say :

> But there was a price to pay for this new found fun. Up until then, the little single cell organisms were immortal, no natural death. But after sex was invented, there was mortality. They lived for a time, then died.

It could be construed by Creationists that Original Sin has been programmmed into sexual reproduction as a punishment for having fun. Fundamentalists of the Judeo-Christian-Islamic creed through the ages have blamed Eve for this and tried to make her life difficult by burning her of witchery, making her hide her body and face away in shame, by denying her education and by making access to medical care even during childbirth difficult or impossible. I'd hate to think such a good idea as sexual reproduction could end up down the plug-hole of Creationist clap-trap. Hence the need for clarification.

Clarification: Sexual reproduction produces physical variations within the overall genetic blueprint for a species. This is due to the splitting of the DNA double helix during meiosis (a specialised form of cell division) in the male and female germ cell, thereby enabling a 'child cell' to form with DNA from both parents. The offspring-variations have a much greater chance of success in a competetive environment through Natural Selection. In order to maintain the competetive edge acquired by a species or sub-species, it is more advantageous for the younger (successful) generations to pass on their genetic material, hence the older generation cells producing less efficient offspring, need to be got out of the way. Mortality (giving individuals in the species a 'life-time') is simply another selective adaptation that has naturally evolved to further the interests of the species. Indeed, in lower life form it is not unusual to witness the death of the parents as soon as they have mated, fertilised and released the next generation cells.

Higher animals, mammals in particular, and humans especially are capable of reproduction into their middle age. In higher animals, extending the individual's life-time past the point of viable reproduction has value-added potential for the species. The role of the longer living matriarch in human society is inestimable; it probably accounts for human advancement past other ape social systems. The matriarch ensures that our primary tools for survival in the wild - tool making skills and coherent knowledge about the world - are passed from generation to generation with 'value added' so that as a race we continue to evolve to this day. That's the theory anyway. Unfortunately another force is at work in war zones around the world creating a class of traumatised and fragmented individuals who have no protective family network. That should be a sobering thought to us all.

Sammy.

Re: Debbie--Re: Depression

IMMORTALITY

Many scientists believe that the earth was formed about 4.56 billion

years ago. About 4 billion years ago, a bit of protoplasm was

floating around in some brackish water, when suddenly it was

zapped by a bolt of lightning and the very first life was formed.

(Some of you are permitted to think that the bolt of lightning was

actually the hand of God. According to Bishop Usher, that

first life was formed as Adam at 9 A.M. on Oct. 26, 4004. He

did not say whether that was Daylight Saving Time or not.)

At any rate, that first little cell soon grew to such an extent that

it had to split into two cells. Those two then split and soon there

were little cells everywhere. For about 2.8 billion years these

cells reproduced asexually by just splitting into two cells. But

about 1.1 billion years ago, sex was invented. Suddenly millions

of new organisms were developed.

But there was a price to pay for this new found fun. Up until

then, the little single cell organisms were immortal, no natural

death. But after sex was invented, there was mortality. They

lived for a time, then died.

However, there was still a road to immortality provided by sex.

That is half of each offspring derives from you. So the more

offspring one has, the more of your genes are left behind.

The urge to reproduce in humans, animals, plants, bacteria and

every other living thing, is one of the strongest drives known.

Another road to immortality is to be a great writer such as

Shakespeare, or Sir Isaac Newton, or any of the other

geniuses who still live on in their contributions.

We can't all be great writers, philosophers or inventors,

but we can leave contributions. For instance, you can

plant trees, build a nice house, volunteer to give of

yourself to others or thousands of other things for which

you may be remembered.

Of course, the reproduction part is still the most fun.

I wish you all the bestAubrey Pilgrim, DC (Ret.)Author of A Revolutionary Approach to Prostate Cancer-Read the original book for free at: www.prostatepointers.org/prostate/lay/apilgrimRead the new edition for free at http://www.cancer.prostate-help.org/capilgr.htmDr. E. Crawford is co-author of the revision

Well said EverandEverard wrote:

Debbie,If you think you are going to die I think it is quite common for many people to try to do as much for others as they can before they become unable to do anything for themselves. I don't think this is depression I think it is a very positive response to life after receiving a reminder that we are not immortal.

<snip>

Who knows? I'm not a psychologist so whatever I say is probably rubbish.

Everard