The effects of my BP mom and NP dad on my family

[Guest guest]

The more I read, the more I realize that my father was an ND and/or

alcoholic. We actually know he was an alcoholic as alcoholism is one

of the causes of his death. He was a high functioning alcoholic; I

found out he had " chronic alcoholism " from his death certificate.

We all know how my mom made my life hell. Well, NPD dad was no

sweetheart, either. With him, things kicked in during my teen years.

My mom fed him negative ideas about me so he didn't think too highly

of me. My mom would threaten divorce over the slightest thing. When I

was in college, he accused me of ruining their marriage. My mom once

told me that if it was up to my father, I wouldn't be alive. I have

no idea who to believe; I tried to figure it all out when she told me

at the tender age of ten.

As I got older, even in the months before he died, dad did not

support me. It was a constant battle. What I was doing- teaching in a

crappy elementary school- wasn't good enough. If I complained about

the crappiness of the school, he would ask why I worked there. When

my apartment was robbed, he gave me a hard time about choosing the

roommates I chose. (All nice people) At one point, he refused to co-

sign the lease, so I almost didn't have a place to live. (We are

talking about parents who paid for college and rent in grad school.)

It became an emotional battle with him, too.

Much like BP mom, NPD dad didn't trust me. He always praised other

kids. Or, at least inferred that other kids were more trustworthy or

more successful. He, too, questioned why I liked some kids but not

others. He wasn't very supportive of my high school romantic

relationship. It became constant criticism from him. He also became

very " annoyed " with me. Again, my brother was held in a better light.

Thanks to this forum for allowing me to explore these topics.