Does Medical Drama change anything?

[Guest guest]

Question: When you've gone NC/RC, has anyone encountered a phone

call with bad medical news about nada/fada that perhaps the caller

was hoping would soften us, or suddenly change our feelings toward

the BPD?

Background:

Got a call from dishrag that my nada's mammogram might have had a

spot and they want her to come back in. He said " I got the results

of your mom's mammogram and it's not good. "

He said he was worried sick (she's out of town taking care of her

elderly mother) and now that I think about it, I'm not sure what he

wanted me to do. I guess he thought it was bad news that should be

told.

Knowing that he has overdone bad news before, I tried to get the

facts before I reacted.

I tried to calm him by telling him that many, many times, these

things are calcium deposits and are harmless; and that she's been

very regular with her mammograms and checkups, so chances are, even

if it's the " Big C " , it's early. And we don't even know that yet.

He countered with " Well, you know you have a family history of

breast cancer " and I said " Yes, but grandma was 85 when she got it,

and that's at the age when everyone in the general population is

more susceptible to cancers. We don't have the kind of family

history -- young woman relatives getting breast cancer -- that is

cause for alarm.

I also told him that I had had a callback on my mammogram, too. I

had not shared this with him before, so if he was trying to get me

to call my nada and calm her, that pretty much squelched it. Since

he never bothers to call me and chastises me for staying away from

nada, I wasn't about to pour my worries on him or her.

Not to sound callous -- but what experience has everyone had, and

how have you handled it? I can just see my mother in this situation

and a bad diagnosis would be bad enough -- but a bad diagnosis on a

BPD drama queen/pity junkie would be a tough ride for me.

-K