Re: I need quick support right now, thanks.

[Guest guest]

Recovering,

You did NOT deserve ANY of the abuse inflicted on you as a child. You didn't

deserve it then -- none of us did! -- and I can very much empathize with how

painful it is sometimes to have to parent yourself now.

I can also identify with being triggered by seeing those experiments. I missed

Primetime last night but I've seen footage from those experiments on other

shows. For me, as a KO, the whole issue of other people " going along " with

abuse -- instead of stepping in on the subjects' behalf and defending them -- is

particularly upsetting. For obvious reasons, right?

When you were a child, you WERE alone and abused and no one understood what you

were going through or stood up for you. But you're NOT alone now. You have all

of us on this board who've been there, who understand, who went through the same

things, and who support you and understand. You also have the gift of insight

that allows your adult self to protect and nurture that child now, and give that

child the love, compassion and protection he didn't have growing up.

You are not alone. As an adult, you have the tools of recovery to help you heal

now, and the unconditional support of your fellowship here on this board.

Sometimes it feels like an endless journey -- but please remember that we're all

on that road together!

Stay strong, dude.

Shana

I need quick support right now, thanks.

To: WTOAdultChildren1

> Hi Everyone,

>

> I just finished watching the ABC TV Primetime Basic

> Instinct series show about a repeated version of

> Stanley Milgram’s famous 1951 experiment in which

> people were measured to see how far they would go in

> administering physically painful actions to another

> person. The show also looked briefly at the 1971

> Stanford Prison Study in which similar things were

> measured. There’s much more to both experiments, but

> I’m keeping it simple here.

>

> I need some quick support. A few minutes after the

> show ended, I could quickly tell that I was VERY

> upset, especially in the younger parts of myself.

> Writing this is helping me take quick corrective,

> calming, and healing action. I think what I also need

> is for some people I trust to tell the younger parts

> of me that I didn’t deserve the sadistic, cruel,

> inhumane, destructive, evil abuse I endured for

> decades, especially when I was a virtual emotional,

> psychological and spiritual slave for my FOO.

> Intellectually, as the adult I am now, I know all

> this. I could really use your support RIGHT NOW about

> this so that the younger parts of me hear other voices

> of support, guidance and encouragement besides my own

> adult voice.

>

> Thanks, everyone. I’ll be reading the board for

> awhile longer tonight.

>

> One Non-BP Recovering Man

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Shana,

Thanks so much for your reply. I silently read it,

and then read it aloud to myself. I could feel the

calming and healing of your words. Yes, as you wrote,

“the whole issue of other people " going along " with

abuse -- instead of stepping in on the subjects'

behalf and defending them -- is particularly

upsetting.” Yes, the reasons are obvious. By the

way, in the Primetime show, in the repeated Milgram

experiment roughly SEVENTY percent of the people

“administer[ed] physically painful actions to another

person,” similar to Milgram’s results 45 years ago.

Today, a man in New York City jumped in front of an

oncoming subway train to save a stranger’s life. I

didn’t expect anyone to jump on the tracks for me, but

that little boy in me still wonders, and probably

always will, “couldn’t somebody have said, `If you

talk to that boy like that again in front of me or I

find out you did, I’m gonna kick your ***’?

I am working to “stay strong.” Your words help.

Thanks.

One Non-BP Recovering Man

--- slarsen988@... wrote:

> Recovering,

>

> You did NOT deserve ANY of the abuse inflicted on

> you as a child. You didn't deserve it then -- none

> of us did! -- and I can very much empathize with how

> painful it is sometimes to have to parent yourself

> now.

>

> I can also identify with being triggered by seeing

> those experiments. I missed Primetime last night

> but I've seen footage from those experiments on

> other shows. For me, as a KO, the whole issue of

> other people " going along " with abuse -- instead of

> stepping in on the subjects' behalf and defending

> them -- is particularly upsetting. For obvious

> reasons, right?

>

> When you were a child, you WERE alone and abused and

> no one understood what you were going through or

> stood up for you. But you're NOT alone now. You

> have all of us on this board who've been there, who

> understand, who went through the same things, and

> who support you and understand. You also have the

> gift of insight that allows your adult self to

> protect and nurture that child now, and give that

> child the love, compassion and protection he didn't

> have growing up.

>

> You are not alone. As an adult, you have the tools

> of recovery to help you heal now, and the

> unconditional support of your fellowship here on

> this board. Sometimes it feels like an endless

> journey -- but please remember that we're all on

> that road together!

>

> Stay strong, dude.

>

> Shana

>

> I need quick support

> right now, thanks.

> To: WTOAdultChildren1

>

> > Hi Everyone,

> >

> > I just finished watching the ABC TV Primetime

> Basic

> > Instinct series show about a repeated version of

> > Stanley Milgram’s famous 1951 experiment in which

> > people were measured to see how far they would go

> in

> > administering physically painful actions to

> another

> > person. The show also looked briefly at the 1971

> > Stanford Prison Study in which similar things were

> > measured. There’s much more to both experiments,

> but

> > I’m keeping it simple here.

> >

> > I need some quick support. A few minutes after the

> > show ended, I could quickly tell that I was VERY

> > upset, especially in the younger parts of myself.

> > Writing this is helping me take quick corrective,

> > calming, and healing action. I think what I also

> need

> > is for some people I trust to tell the younger

> parts

> > of me that I didn’t deserve the sadistic, cruel,

> > inhumane, destructive, evil abuse I endured for

> > decades, especially when I was a virtual

> emotional,

> > psychological and spiritual slave for my FOO.

> > Intellectually, as the adult I am now, I know all

> > this. I could really use your support RIGHT NOW

> about

> > this so that the younger parts of me hear other

> voices

> > of support, guidance and encouragement besides my

> own

> > adult voice.

> >

> > Thanks, everyone. I’ll be reading the board for

> > awhile longer tonight.

> >

> > One Non-BP Recovering Man

> >

> >

> > __________________________________________________

> >

[Guest guest]

Non, I sent a reply earlier, but it was lost due to problems with

my internet connection.

I am glad that you got a reply so quickly. I am sorry that you had

to endure all that abuse from your family. You did not deserve it -

no one deserves to be abused. I wanted you to know that I see you

as an intelligent, articulate and sensitive person with a neat sense

of humor. I am sure these qualities were evident when you were a

child as well. I am sorry that there wasn't anyone then who

recognized this and who would care for and protect you.

You have overcome so many obstacles, and you are doing a very good

job of taking care of yourself and the inner children who are still

healing - under your care. It was a smart move to reach out to this

group. I am glad that you felt enough trust in all of us to do

that.

Be sure to be extra nice to yourself as you are getting over this

painful reminder of your past.

Sylvia

>

> Hi Everyone,

>

> I just finished watching the ABC TV Primetime Basic

> Instinct series show about a repeated version of

> Stanley Milgram's famous 1951 experiment in which

> people were measured to see how far they would go in

> administering physically painful actions to another

> person. The show also looked briefly at the 1971

> Stanford Prison Study in which similar things were

> measured. There's much more to both experiments, but

> I'm keeping it simple here.

>

> I need some quick support. A few minutes after the

> show ended, I could quickly tell that I was VERY

> upset, especially in the younger parts of myself.

> Writing this is helping me take quick corrective,

> calming, and healing action. I think what I also need

> is for some people I trust to tell the younger parts

> of me that I didn't deserve the sadistic, cruel,

> inhumane, destructive, evil abuse I endured for

> decades, especially when I was a virtual emotional,

> psychological and spiritual slave for my FOO.

> Intellectually, as the adult I am now, I know all

> this. I could really use your support RIGHT NOW about

> this so that the younger parts of me hear other voices

> of support, guidance and encouragement besides my own

> adult voice.

>

> Thanks, everyone. I'll be reading the board for

> awhile longer tonight.

>

> One Non-BP Recovering Man

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

((((((((One Non-BP Recovering Man)))))))), I am so sorry you have

endured so much pain over the years. You have not deserved any of

it. I know the felling of wanting to hear it sometimes. Sometimes it

is good to hear that we are loveable and you are loveable. I hear

the words you write on here and you are one of the kindest persons

ever. I can only imagine that as a child you would have been the

same, an innocent sweet child who did not deserve any of it. I am

sorry for everything that has happened and I hope you know you are

loveable.

I did watch most of it until the Mc 's part but I have seen

that already anyways. I found it so cruel especially that many

people were laughing or using a cold heartless voice and did not

seem to care. I was also to tired so I did not want that to be the

last image in my mind before I fell asleep. Even so I still had bad

dreams last night, I dreamed I was in a home improvement store

shopping and the workers told me to get out that I was not good

enough to be in their store I was annoying and they did not like me.

I thought I was being quiet and polite I was not trying to bother

anybody and but it did not matter they did not like me. It was not a

good dream. So I know that feeling of wanting to know you are

loveable and good enough. Sometimes it hurts. I try to avoid

watching stuff like that but I was so sleepy and it came on so fast,

I was not thinking clear. I know my mind better than that I should

have never watched it.

I am sorry and I do understand I was having similar feelings. Lots

of love and a big hug Lizzy

>

> Hi Everyone,

>

> I just finished watching the ABC TV Primetime Basic

> Instinct series show about a repeated version of

> Stanley Milgram's famous 1951 experiment in which

> people were measured to see how far they would go in

> administering physically painful actions to another

> person. The show also looked briefly at the 1971

> Stanford Prison Study in which similar things were

> measured. There's much more to both experiments, but

> I'm keeping it simple here.

>

> I need some quick support. A few minutes after the

> show ended, I could quickly tell that I was VERY

> upset, especially in the younger parts of myself.

> Writing this is helping me take quick corrective,

> calming, and healing action. I think what I also need

> is for some people I trust to tell the younger parts

> of me that I didn't deserve the sadistic, cruel,

> inhumane, destructive, evil abuse I endured for

> decades, especially when I was a virtual emotional,

> psychological and spiritual slave for my FOO.

> Intellectually, as the adult I am now, I know all

> this. I could really use your support RIGHT NOW about

> this so that the younger parts of me hear other voices

> of support, guidance and encouragement besides my own

> adult voice.

>

> Thanks, everyone. I'll be reading the board for

> awhile longer tonight.

>

> One Non-BP Recovering Man

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Dear " One Non-BP Recovering Boy, "

No one deserves to be physically, emotionally, and spiritually

abused, most of all YOU. You are a survivor and with each loving

interaction, each laugh, each caress, you will continue to heal.

a

>

> Hi Everyone,

>

> I just finished watching the ABC TV Primetime Basic

> Instinct series show about a repeated version of

> Stanley Milgram's famous 1951 experiment in which

> people were measured to see how far they would go in

> administering physically painful actions to another

> person. The show also looked briefly at the 1971

> Stanford Prison Study in which similar things were

> measured. There's much more to both experiments, but

> I'm keeping it simple here.

>

> I need some quick support. A few minutes after the

> show ended, I could quickly tell that I was VERY

> upset, especially in the younger parts of myself.

> Writing this is helping me take quick corrective,

> calming, and healing action. I think what I also need

> is for some people I trust to tell the younger parts

> of me that I didn't deserve the sadistic, cruel,

> inhumane, destructive, evil abuse I endured for

> decades, especially when I was a virtual emotional,

> psychological and spiritual slave for my FOO.

> Intellectually, as the adult I am now, I know all

> this. I could really use your support RIGHT NOW about

> this so that the younger parts of me hear other voices

> of support, guidance and encouragement besides my own

> adult voice.

>

> Thanks, everyone. I'll be reading the board for

> awhile longer tonight.

>

> One Non-BP Recovering Man

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

((((Big HUGS)))Non-BP Man.

No one deserves abuse, but most especially children and certainly not

you or any other child. Clearly though, your inner child is in need

of comfort and consolation right now. It is perfectly okay to feed

him the love and nurturance you've learned how to give as a man in

today's world. Perhaps you need a good cry to release these sad and

horrific feelings. It is okay to face these demons and bad feelings

from the past and free them from your soul and learn how to get over

these triggers. Its not a one shot deal, but rather a lifetime of

managing these broken parts from yesterday so that today we are free

to live.

I've not seen this experiment you talk about. I will look it up. One

thing I do know is that the media is very biased in the ways of

victimhood. It glorifies it b/c it gets ratings. I chose not to watch

a lot of those shows b/c it only serves to feed my fears and

anxieties.Its definitely an emotional boundary issue thing for me

w/the tv and news shows.

I have also always liked Mark Twains quote- 'there are lies. There

are damned lies.And then there's statistics.'

Best wishes to you and again, big hugs and especially for the little

one within whose in MOST need of them after that trigger.

Kerrie

>

> Hi Everyone,

>

> I just finished watching the ABC TV Primetime Basic

> Instinct series show about a repeated version of

> Stanley Milgram's famous 1951 experiment in which

> people were measured to see how far they would go in

> administering physically painful actions to another

> person. The show also looked briefly at the 1971

> Stanford Prison Study in which similar things were

> measured. There's much more to both experiments, but

> I'm keeping it simple here.

>

> I need some quick support. A few minutes after the

> show ended, I could quickly tell that I was VERY

> upset, especially in the younger parts of myself.

> Writing this is helping me take quick corrective,

> calming, and healing action. I think what I also need

> is for some people I trust to tell the younger parts

> of me that I didn't deserve the sadistic, cruel,

> inhumane, destructive, evil abuse I endured for

> decades, especially when I was a virtual emotional,

> psychological and spiritual slave for my FOO.

> Intellectually, as the adult I am now, I know all

> this. I could really use your support RIGHT NOW about

> this so that the younger parts of me hear other voices

> of support, guidance and encouragement besides my own

> adult voice.

>

> Thanks, everyone. I'll be reading the board for

> awhile longer tonight.

>

> One Non-BP Recovering Man

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

I just got this but I wanted to send you a few affirmations that I have

used on occasion:

You are safe now.

You can protect yourself now.

You will never be that vulnerable again.

The worst is over. You are experiencing the feelings but the event was

long ago and is over now. You are safe.

And for the child in you:

You did not deserve to be treated that way.

You are a very good boy and I am proud of the way you handled yourself.

I am proud of you for surviving such horrible things.

You are lovable and likable. You deserve to be safe and loved. Your

adult self can do that for you now.

You are not responsible for your parents behavior. You are a child who

deserves to be protected. Your adult self will protect you now.

It's ok to feel sad or angry. It is ok to cry. It is ok to yell. It

is ok to do what you need to do to get your feelings out. Your adult

self will keep you safe while you feel whatever you need to feel right

now.

I know how strong and brave and loving you are. I know that you are

going to grow into a strong, brave and loving man. And I know that you

are going to heal. Your adult self will help you do that too. You can

trust him. You can rely on him.

I am so sorry you are going through this! It really sucks when the

past comes back unexpectedly like that. I hope you are feeling better

today, and that you can work through this and come to a better place

for expending the effort. And I hope the little boy you were can hear

us all out here cheering for him, telling him to hang in there because

he is going to make it.

Fresabird

> Hi Everyone,

>

> I just finished watching the ABC TV Primetime Basic

> Instinct series show about a repeated version of

> Stanley Milgram’s famous 1951 experiment in which

> people were measured to see how far they would go in

> administering physically painful actions to another

> person. The show also looked briefly at the 1971

> Stanford Prison Study in which similar things were

> measured. There’s much more to both experiments, but

> I’m keeping it simple here.

>

> I need some quick support. A few minutes after the

> show ended, I could quickly tell that I was VERY

> upset, especially in the younger parts of myself.

> Writing this is helping me take quick corrective,

> calming, and healing action. I think what I also need

> is for some people I trust to tell the younger parts

> of me that I didn’t deserve the sadistic, cruel,

> inhumane, destructive, evil abuse I endured for

> decades, especially when I was a virtual emotional,

> psychological and spiritual slave for my FOO.

> Intellectually, as the adult I am now, I know all

> this. I could really use your support RIGHT NOW about

> this so that the younger parts of me hear other voices

> of support, guidance and encouragement besides my own

> adult voice.

>

> Thanks, everyone. I’ll be reading the board for

> awhile longer tonight.

>

> One Non-BP Recovering Man

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Sylvia, Lizzy, a, Kerrie and fresabird,

Thanks for your support, your reminders, your hugs,

your love and for being you. I’ve rallied today and

am bouncing back. My boat got rocked last night and

the waves were very choppy for some hours. I shed a

few tears upon reading some of your words. Can you

believe that your posts are the first time anyone else

has EVER spoken to my inner child that way? I know

YOU can believe it. You helped me. You helped make

my day. I can’t tell you how much it means to me, and

this short reply seems woefully inadequate to express

my gratitude to you, but I think you have a pretty

good idea. Big hugs back to all of you. Have a great

day.

One Non-BP Recovering Man

--- fresabird@... wrote:

> I just got this but I wanted to send you a few

> affirmations that I have

> used on occasion:

>

> You are safe now.

>

> You can protect yourself now.

>

> You will never be that vulnerable again.

>

> The worst is over. You are experiencing the

> feelings but the event was

> long ago and is over now. You are safe.

>

> And for the child in you:

>

> You did not deserve to be treated that way.

>

> You are a very good boy and I am proud of the way

> you handled yourself.

>

> I am proud of you for surviving such horrible

> things.

>

> You are lovable and likable. You deserve to be safe

> and loved. Your

> adult self can do that for you now.

>

> You are not responsible for your parents behavior.

> You are a child who

> deserves to be protected. Your adult self will

> protect you now.

>

> It's ok to feel sad or angry. It is ok to cry. It

> is ok to yell. It

> is ok to do what you need to do to get your feelings

> out. Your adult

> self will keep you safe while you feel whatever you

> need to feel right

> now.

>

> I know how strong and brave and loving you are. I

> know that you are

> going to grow into a strong, brave and loving man.

> And I know that you

> are going to heal. Your adult self will help you do

> that too. You can

> trust him. You can rely on him.

>

>

>

> I am so sorry you are going through this! It really

> sucks when the

> past comes back unexpectedly like that. I hope you

> are feeling better

> today, and that you can work through this and come

> to a better place

> for expending the effort. And I hope the little boy

> you were can hear

> us all out here cheering for him, telling him to

> hang in there because

> he is going to make it.

>

> Fresabird

>

>

> On Jan 3, 2007, at 11:25 PM, Recovering Non-BP

> wrote:

>

> > Hi Everyone,

> >

> > I just finished watching the ABC TV Primetime

> Basic

> > Instinct series show about a repeated version of

> > Stanley Milgram’s famous 1951 experiment in

> which

> > people were measured to see how far they would go

> in

> > administering physically painful actions to

> another

> > person. The show also looked briefly at the 1971

> > Stanford Prison Study in which similar things

> were

> > measured. There’s much more to both

> experiments, but

> > I’m keeping it simple here.

> >

> > I need some quick support. A few minutes after

> the

> > show ended, I could quickly tell that I was VERY

> > upset, especially in the younger parts of myself.

> > Writing this is helping me take quick corrective,

> > calming, and healing action. I think what I also

> need

> > is for some people I trust to tell the younger

> parts

> > of me that I didn’t deserve the sadistic,

> cruel,

> > inhumane, destructive, evil abuse I endured for

> > decades, especially when I was a virtual

> emotional,

> > psychological and spiritual slave for my FOO.

> > Intellectually, as the adult I am now, I know all

> > this. I could really use your support RIGHT NOW

> about

> > this so that the younger parts of me hear other

> voices

> > of support, guidance and encouragement besides my

> own

> > adult voice.

> >

> > Thanks, everyone. I’ll be reading the board for

> > awhile longer tonight.

> >

> > One Non-BP Recovering Man

> >

> >

> __________________________________________________

> >