Guest guest Posted December 29, 2003 Report Share Posted December 29, 2003 , I've seen a lot of posts on various autism/Asperger's (whether or not there is a difference) lists by other autistics wanting to have friends, or wanting to fit in better at their workplace or in school. I've also seen posts from parents of kids on the spectrum who mention their child comes home crying because a so-called friend wouldn't play with them, or they weren't invited to something. So I'm not really sure if what you said applies to all autistic people. Although I hope I'm not being obnoxious by saying this. Norah > > Reply-To: AutisticSpectrumTreeHouse > Date: Mon, 29 Dec 2003 07:35:04 -0700 > To: AutisticSpectrumTreeHouse > Subject: Re: Re: Teasing > > I don't think that wanting acceptance by others is an autistic trait. On > the contrary-- not caring about those sorts of things is partly what > defines us; the lack of social context, the function and desire to fit > in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 29, 2003 Report Share Posted December 29, 2003 I've been on a particular list for a crafting interest off and on for about 5 years now, and there are a lot of people who have been there as long if not longer. However, it's such a large list that many people just lurk (myself included), so it's hard to tell how many people have been there how long. Norah > > Reply-To: AutisticSpectrumTreeHouse > Date: Mon, 29 Dec 2003 16:36:30 -0700 > To: AutisticSpectrumTreeHouse > Subject: Re: Re: Teasing > > Several of my interests have come back at least once, and some have come > back two or three times. It would be weird to go back to those old > lists that I was on years ago, to see if any of my old interest-mates > were still there, and to have to answer the questions about where I > went. Few of the other people that were interested in the same thing > were as feverishly devoted as was I... but their interests tend, best I > can tell, to last much longer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 29, 2003 Report Share Posted December 29, 2003 Klein wrote: >I have a... a dislike for things that seem to be broken > I have a fascination with things that seem to be broken. Some turn out to be easy to fix, and some aren't really broken at all. Ride the Music AndyTiedye Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 Norah Willett wrote: > I've seen a lot of posts on various autism/Asperger's (whether or not > there is a difference) lists by other autistics wanting to have > friends, or wanting to fit in better at their workplace or in school. > I've also seen posts from parents of kids on the spectrum who mention > their child comes home crying because a so-called friend wouldn't > play with them, or they weren't invited to something. So I'm not > really sure if what you said applies to all autistic people. Just because a lot of autistic people do something does not make it an autistic trait. Wanting to fit in is an NT trait... wanting friends is an NT trait. Some autistics have that NT trait, just as some autistics have other NT traits. No one autistic is probable to have all of the long list of autistic traits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 Me, too! I fix things, that's what I do best. Louis In my house, " normal " is only a setting on the dryer. From: AndyTiedye Klein wrote: >I have a... a dislike for things that seem to be broken > I have a fascination with things that seem to be broken. Some turn out to be easy to fix, and some aren't really broken at all. Ride the Music AndyTiedye Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 Plus since many autistic people find it hard to figure out " how " to make friends, we might go about it the wrong way at first and then when we're rejected a lot, we stay away from people because we don't want to keep either being rejected or criticized, even though we really want friends, maybe not an NT-type social life, but a few friends anyway. Also if we're not sure how to show interest in others, it might come off as just not being interested in others, especially when we're kids and haven't learned to adapt somewhat. Norah > > Reply-To: AutisticSpectrumTreeHouse > Date: Tue, 30 Dec 2003 22:27:12 -0000 > To: AutisticSpectrumTreeHouse > Subject: Re: Teasing > > Actually, I would suspect that the real " autistic trait " in question > is the *appearance* of not wanting friends. This can be caused by any > number of things, only one of which is actually not wanting friends. > Many autistics who look aloof or passive actually want friends, but > have been categorized based on appearance (and working its way into > the definition of autism) as not wanting friends. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 31, 2003 Report Share Posted December 31, 2003 Message: 10 Date: Tue, 30 Dec 2003 21:09:56 -0800 Subject: Re: Re: Teasing Plus since many autistic people find it hard to figure out " how " to make friends, we might go about it the wrong way at first and then when we're rejected a lot, we stay away from people because we don't want to keep either being rejected or criticized, even though we really want friends, maybe not an NT-type social life, but a few friends anyway. Also if we're not sure how to show interest in others, it might come off as just not being interested in others, especially when we're kids and haven't learned to adapt somewhat. Norah i dont have a problem making friends. ppl approach all the time. i do not know why. i have a problem with keeping friends, because they are very hard work. they also find it insulting that i do not want them in my house. ppl think i am joking when i say that my house is a refuge. when they realize that i am not joking, they get in a huff. it is the same when i do not want to go to their houses. i like to see people in the setting where i know them. that way it is easier to talk about a common topic. __________________________________________________________________ New! Unlimited Access from the Netscape Internet Service. Beta test the new Netscape Internet Service for only $1.00 per month until 3/1/04. Sign up today at http://isp.netscape.com/register Act now to get a personalized email address! Netscape. Just the Net You Need. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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