Re: **notice: adult content--- spectrumites and bdsm

[Guest guest]

ceruleaniwa wrote:

> since this is 's list and may not be the most appropriate place

> to discuss these areas, if anyone is interested, or has explored

> these areas or wondered about it in terms of deep sensory integration

> issues and there's enough interest, perhaps another list could be

> formed, although my online time has become more limited lately.

> would still be interested in hearing first about whether others have

> considered or explored these areas.

It's just as much yours as it is mine. We are both only one person

among many. As far as I am concerned, you are free to discuss anything

here. If others are offended, they can skip the offensive messages

(which is easier if the messages have descriptive titles, of course).

Everything substantive is going to offend someone out there, and if you

go trying to prevent offense at all costs, you end up with a censored,

boring list where nothing important is ever said. It was censorship by

another listowner, in the days following 9-11-01, that was the impetus

for me to create this list, as you probably recall; this is a free

speech zone.

[Guest guest]

>

> It's just as much yours as it is mine. We are both only one person

> among many. As far as I am concerned, you are free to discuss

anything

> here. If others are offended, they can skip the offensive messages

> (which is easier if the messages have descriptive titles, of

course).

> Everything substantive is going to offend someone out there, and if

you

> go trying to prevent offense at all costs, you end up with a

censored,

> boring list where nothing important is ever said. It was

censorship by

> another listowner, in the days following 9-11-01, that was the

impetus

> for me to create this list, as you probably recall; this is a free

> speech zone.

>

>

:

Oh cool. Was not really up for creating a new list anyhoo

nanne

[Guest guest]

>

> It's just as much yours as it is mine. We are both only one person

> among many. As far as I am concerned, you are free to discuss

anything

> here. If others are offended, they can skip the offensive messages

> (which is easier if the messages have descriptive titles, of

course).

> Everything substantive is going to offend someone out there, and if

you

> go trying to prevent offense at all costs, you end up with a

censored,

> boring list where nothing important is ever said. It was

censorship by

> another listowner, in the days following 9-11-01, that was the

impetus

> for me to create this list, as you probably recall; this is a free

> speech zone.

>

>

:

Oh cool. Was not really up for creating a new list anyhoo

nanne

[Guest guest]

ceruleaniwa wrote:

....

Nanne,

Your messages are coming through in duplicate. Are you sending twice?

[Guest guest]

>

Hey ,

I appear to be bouncing with multiple msgs. coming through; just

re-set back to individual email; would you mind terribly re-setting

from your end? thanks,

nanne

[Guest guest]

ceruleaniwa wrote:

> Hey ,

>

> I appear to be bouncing with multiple msgs. coming through; just

> re-set back to individual email; would you mind terribly re-setting

> from your end? thanks,

Resetting how? I am showing you as being on individual mail.

[Guest guest]

Sorry to be so naive,

(not into bdsm),

but what does " re-setting from ones end " entail,precisely,??????

....and ......................does it hurt?

anna

ceruleaniwa wrote:

>

Hey ,

I appear to be bouncing with multiple msgs. coming through; just

re-set back to individual email; would you mind terribly re-setting

from your end? thanks,

nanne

---------------------------------

[Guest guest]

--- anna wim wrote:

> Sorry to be so naive,

>

> (not into bdsm),

>

> but what does " re-setting from ones end "

> entail,precisely,??????

------------It means takes control and changes

the settings around.

>

> ...and ......................does it hurt?

>

> anna

---------------Only if there is mutually agreed upon

consent! ;D

nanne

>

> ceruleaniwa wrote:

>

> >

> Hey ,

>

> I appear to be bouncing with multiple msgs.

> coming through; just

> re-set back to individual email; would you mind

> terribly re-setting

> from your end? thanks,

>

> nanne

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

>

[Guest guest]

I have considered it since nothing seems to " do it " for me but I have never

actually experimented in that area.

CZ

-- **notice: adult content--- spectrumites and

bdsm

greetings all --

have been away from all spectrum lists for awhile, ventured out,

created a livejournal, put some art work up online for a bit, etc.

since i communicate so much better via writing, why not venture out

into the world, eh? have been itchy to come out of the shell i was in.

anyway, recent unfolding of events has prompted me to write here

to ask whether any other spectrumites have ever ventured into

exploring bdsm and discovered incredible sensory integration relief?

i always used to think of bdsm as sick sexual titillation for bored

people. now when i think of bondage, can't help but flash back to

Temple Grandin and her Squeeze Machine. (that need for deep

pressure). in terms of pain, there are many areas on the body where

deep pressure/pain brings a flood of endorphins (yes i know exercise

does this too, but one can't exactly break out into jumping jacks in

the middle of the grocery store like one can a quick squeeze of

thigh.)

obviously this brought up, initially for me, great fears about

difficulties with auditory comprehension/social skills; but

interestingly enough, the smart and serious people into this stress

the importance of very direct, concrete, clearly understood

communications between two people. this is *very* different, and

actually liberating, than the usual trying to figure out what the

hell someone is intending/saying/doublespeaking while out on a date.

a light bulb also went off, in terms of, previously thinking it

*tacky* to attempt partnering with someone based on equal balance of

giving/receiving sexual needs, but actually, for someone on the

spectrum, it makes great sense. of course there are dangers but tons

of support available in terms of safety issues until one is with

another whom one trusts.

also, in terms of spectrumites needing some rigid and contained

formats to live in (i.e, routines, etc. )personally, without going

into the gory details, my own discoveries with a teacher in a D/s

relationship is satisfying that deep need. i always thought these

things would be about women who are 'doormats', but it's quite the

opposite; has liberated me from extraneous crap out there and helped

my focus -- my creative impetus in writing and art has returned. i'm

not going about like a bundled up hiding mouse any more. It's not

merely about sex, but about what's referred to as a 'power

exchange'. Not sure yet how to define exactly how it works, but so

far, it does.

since this is 's list and may not be the most appropriate

place to discuss these areas, if anyone is interested, or has

explored these areas or wondered about it in terms of deep sensory

integration issues and there's enough interest, perhaps another list

could be formed, although my online time has become more limited

lately. would still be interested in hearing first about whether

others have considered or explored these areas.

thanks, and take care,

Nanne

take care,

[Guest guest]

--- mystibird wrote:

> I have considered it since nothing seems to " do it "

> for me but I have never

> actually experimented in that area.

>

> CZ

>

--------Well I'll be happy to share with you how

things go as they go along.

A lot of people i've met so far (online)

incorporate it into the spiritual aspects of their

relationship, which is interesting.

And Jah only knows there's been DECADES of

tensions and defensiveness that a lovely ...uhm,

whupping might release. heh.

nanne

=====

" Let's go get drunk on light again---it has the power to console. " --

Seurat

[Guest guest]

How on earth would that work with spirituality or religion?

CZ

-- Re: **notice: adult content--- spectrumites and

bdsm

--- mystibird wrote:

> I have considered it since nothing seems to " do it "

> for me but I have never

> actually experimented in that area.

>

> CZ

>

--------Well I'll be happy to share with you how

things go as they go along.

A lot of people i've met so far (online)

incorporate it into the spiritual aspects of their

relationship, which is interesting.

And Jah only knows there's been DECADES of

tensions and defensiveness that a lovely ...uhm,

whupping might release. heh.

nanne

=====

" Let's go get drunk on light again---it has the power to console. " --

Seurat

[Guest guest]

--- mystibird wrote:

> How on earth would that work with spirituality or

> religion?

>

> CZ

-------Whew, that's a big one.....but so far, on

another list i've met women w/partners, running from

Pagan to Christian..... It might be bigger than what i

can describe here.... i suppose in a

sensory-integration sense one could experience the

release of energy/tension/blocks in both a

neurological and a spiritual way. (i.e. defensive

clogged up body/energy =creatively blocked/clogged up

soul).

Personally, i met my teacher through a jewish

mysticism class; responded viscerally to what was

written.

nanne

>

>

> -- Re: **notice: adult

> content--- spectrumites and

> bdsm

>

> --- mystibird wrote:

> > I have considered it since nothing seems to " do

> it "

> > for me but I have never

> > actually experimented in that area.

> >

> > CZ

> >

> --------Well I'll be happy to share with you how

> things go as they go along.

> A lot of people i've met so far (online)

> incorporate it into the spiritual aspects of their

> relationship, which is interesting.

> And Jah only knows there's been DECADES of

> tensions and defensiveness that a lovely ...uhm,

> whupping might release. heh.

>

> nanne

>

> =====

>

> " Let's go get drunk on light again---it has the

> power to console. " --

> Seurat

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

In that case i must respectfully decline Master consent to change the

settings ,from my end,

but you 2,..................do go ahead !!

anna

Cerulean wrote:

--- anna wim wrote:

> Sorry to be so naive,

>

> (not into bdsm),

>

> but what does " re-setting from ones end "

> entail,precisely,??????

------------It means takes control and changes

the settings around.

>

> ...and ......................does it hurt?

>

> anna

---------------Only if there is mutually agreed upon

consent! ;D

nanne

>

> ceruleaniwa wrote:

>

> >

> Hey ,

>

> I appear to be bouncing with multiple msgs.

> coming through; just

> re-set back to individual email; would you mind

> terribly re-setting

> from your end? thanks,

>

> nanne

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

>

[Guest guest]

--- anna wim wrote:

> In that case i must respectfully decline Master

> consent to change the settings ,from my end,

> but you 2,..................do go ahead !!

> anna

-------dear anna;

while i have not been collared yet, i must say i am

Spoken For, already. (frank will have to do his own,

eh, legwork.)

the only settings of mine that frank can change

involve my email bounce settings on this list!

H's /nanne

> Cerulean wrote:

>

> --- anna wim wrote:

> > Sorry to be so naive,

> >

> > (not into bdsm),

> >

> > but what does " re-setting from ones end "

> > entail,precisely,??????

>

> ------------It means takes control and changes

> the settings around.

> >

> > ...and ......................does it hurt?

> >

> > anna

>

> ---------------Only if there is mutually agreed upon

> consent! ;D

>

> nanne

> >

> > ceruleaniwa wrote:

> >

> > >

> > Hey ,

> >

> > I appear to be bouncing with multiple msgs.

> > coming through; just

> > re-set back to individual email; would you mind

> > terribly re-setting

> > from your end? thanks,

> >

> > nanne

> >

> >

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> >

[Guest guest]

anna wim wrote:

> In that case i must respectfully decline Master consent to

> change the settings ,from my end, but you 2,..................do go

> ahead !! anna Cerulean wrote:

Shall we set a safeword, or do we want to live on the edge?

[Guest guest]

--- Klein wrote:

> anna wim wrote:

>

> > In that case i must respectfully decline Master

> consent to

> > change the settings ,from my end, but you

> 2,..................do go

> > ahead !! anna Cerulean

> wrote:

>

> Shall we set a safeword, or do we want to live on

> the edge?

>

>

------Yo, ! what <i>have</i> you been holding

back?!

nanne

=====

" Let's go get drunk on light again---it has the power to console. " --

Seurat

[Guest guest]

ceruleaniwa wrote:

>recent unfolding of events has prompted me to write here

>to ask whether any other spectrumites have ever ventured into

>exploring bdsm and discovered incredible sensory integration relief?

>

Ooooooooh Yeah!!

It made the meltdowns go away.

It prevented me from becoming addicted to drugs.

It makes depression go away.

It is such a great stim!!

Fortunately, I figured this out when I was quite young.

I got bullied a lot, and I was too small and way too

uncoordinated to fight back. It got pretty bad.

Then it got wierd. When I was feeling really down

and someone hit me, sometimes it made me feel better!

I started hitting myself*, and lost the fear I used to have

of being hit.

When I reached puberty, it became a huge turn-on too.

I totally freaked out the bullies:

" What's this? I hit him in the stomach and he's still smiling?! "

I guess they thought this was highly inappropriate,

because they stopped bullying me.

Ride the Music

AndyTiedye

*Never in the presence of others, because I was afraid of

being Locked Up Forever if I was found out.

[Guest guest]

>

> >recent unfolding of events has prompted me to write here

> >to ask whether any other spectrumites have ever ventured into

> >exploring bdsm and discovered incredible sensory integration

relief?

> >

> Ooooooooh Yeah!!

>

> It made the meltdowns go away.

> It prevented me from becoming addicted to drugs.

> It makes depression go away.

> It is such a great stim!!

--------- Um, yeah....until i get to be with my D/ in person have had

to settle for some eh, interesting forms of self stimming. ;D

>

> Fortunately, I figured this out when I was quite young.

> I got bullied a lot, and I was too small and way too

> uncoordinated to fight back. It got pretty bad.

> Then it got wierd. When I was feeling really down

> and someone hit me, sometimes it made me feel better!

> I started hitting myself*, and lost the fear I used to have

> of being hit.

> When I reached puberty, it became a huge turn-on too.

----------Wow, Andy, were you ever lucky! As a kid i used to get

into fistfights with a few neighbor boys but that was it. Oh yeah,

used to grab their arms and chomp down on them, but didn't get

reciprocal treatment. ha!

>

> I totally freaked out the bullies:

> " What's this? I hit him in the stomach and he's still smiling?! "

> I guess they thought this was highly inappropriate,

> because they stopped bullying me.

-------Sure hope you aren't depending on bullies for that anymore,

though Or at least not random ones. ha!

>

>

>

> Ride the Music

>

> AndyTiedye

>

>

>

>

>

> *Never in the presence of others, because I was afraid of

> being Locked Up Forever if I was found out.

[Guest guest]

ceruleaniwa wrote:

>

>>

>>>ecent unfolding of events has prompted me to write here

>>>to ask whether any other spectrumites have ever ventured into

>>>exploring bdsm and discovered incredible sensory integration

>>>relief?

>>>

>>>

>>Ooooooooh Yeah!!

>>

>>It made the meltdowns go away.

>>It prevented me from becoming addicted to drugs.

>>It makes depression go away.

>>It is such a great stim!!

>>

>>

>--------- Um, yeah....until i get to be with my D/ in person have had

>to settle for some eh, interesting forms of self stimming. ;D

>

>

That seems to be something that autistic people can do a lot

more easily than NTs, who seem to have very strong instincts

against it. They make S & M so damn complicated (elaborate

" scenes " and all) when it doesn't have to be.

The ability to make pleasure out of pain is one thing that

nobody can take away from me.

>>Fortunately, I figured this out when I was quite young.

>>I got bullied a lot, and I was too small and way too

>>uncoordinated to fight back. It got pretty bad.

>>Then it got wierd. When I was feeling really down

>>and someone hit me, sometimes it made me feel better!

>>I started hitting myself*, and lost the fear I used to have

>>of being hit.

>>

>>

It occurs to me that before this, there was a period of time

during which I craved that stimulation but wasn't consciously

aware of it. I probably made quite a nuisance of myself at that

time. When I realized what I was doing (at about the age of 10,

I think) I realized it would be much better to just do it myself.

This could be a lot more common than anybody realizes.

>>When I reached puberty, it became a huge turn-on too.

>>

>>

>----------Wow, Andy, were you ever lucky!

>

I have come to realize that in the course of reading these lists.

> As a kid i used to get

>into fistfights with a few neighbor boys but that was it. Oh yeah,

>used to grab their arms and chomp down on them, but didn't get

>reciprocal treatment. ha!

>

>

Did you want it?

>>I totally freaked out the bullies:

>> " What's this? I hit him in the stomach and he's still smiling?! "

>>

>>

A byproduct of hitting myself so much was that I developed

absurdly strong abdominal muscles. That obviously helped a lot.

>>I guess they thought this was highly inappropriate,

>>because they stopped bullying me.

>>

>>

>-------Sure hope you aren't depending on bullies for that anymore,

>though Or at least not random ones. ha!

>

That was quite a few decades ago, and it wasn't a matter of

relying on them for anything (I can do it myself), but when

the world gives you lemons, it's time for lemonade.

Ride the Music

AndyTiedye