Re: the dark comedy in it all

[Guest guest]

WOW...crazy behavior.

My mother came to my wedding...she is the type that wouldn't let me out of

her clutches BUT the funny thing was that I got thrown out of a bridal

boutique because she raged at the clerk there !! I also remember (when I

was 10y.o.) my mother screaming and swearing at the program director at my

church !!! The stories we could tell !!

>

>Reply-To: WTOAdultChildren1

>To: WTOAdultChildren1

>Subject: Re: the dark comedy in it all

>Date: Fri, 23 Feb 2007 16:00:19 -0000

>

>I think we definitely have to find humor in some of the over the top

>ridiculous things BPD people do. Sometimes, they are so ridiculous,

>what choice do we have...

>Here's a couple from my Nada:

>

>She claimed to have full frontal brain atrophy while walking around

>and acting " normal " for her.

>She also had elephantitis of the ankles which I've never even heard

>of- I think that one was purely made up.

>Performed fake surgery on her face for fake skin cancer. She cut her

>face up pretty bad for that one.

>

>She always had some sort of absurd ailment- she really focused on

>ones that had to do with her bladder and bowels- I think she did have

>some real problems from being anorexic and abusing laxatives- but she

>really exaggerated any real symptoms, but she used to have a whole

>closet full of adult diapers. Not a few, but a whole closet full!

>

>She met my ex in AA before I met him and they went out to eat in a

>group. He accidentally spilled water all over her and she laughed,

>said it felt good, and proceeded to dump a whole pitcher of water on

>herself. He told me that story, it really freaked him out.

>

>When we would go out to eat she had to have at least 3 drinks- 2

>glasses of water and a diet coke plus a million napkins- she never

>had enough napkins to make her happy. It was quite an event to go to

>a restaurant!

>

>

>

>

>

> > >

> > > i'm sorry, i had to laugh at the whole wedding situation because i

> > > went through a similar thing. though my nada had many reasons for

> > not

> > > coming to our wedding, one of the key components was that should

> > > couldn't leave " the babies " alone for that long.

> > >

> > > i'm curious, do you feel you have developed a keeness for dark

> > comedy?

> > > i've been noticing a lot on here that we all seem to share in

>that.

> > i

> > > guess in some of the abuse, there is the absolute absurd where it

>is

> > > just plain hilarious. i'll never forget what on of my friend's

>said

> > to me:

> > >

> > > " yeah, i remember meeting your mom. she was tweaking balls (on

>meth)

> > > and her dog was running around in a diaper. " (i mean that in the

> > > literal sense)

> > >

> > > love,

> > > christine.

> > >

> >

>

>

_________________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

Wow, my nada has this major thing with her bowels and digestive

system too (and she has battled anorexia off and on). Every time I

talk to her, I get a blow-by-blow description about the last time she

had a " movement " , the last time she took her laxative, etc.(sorry for

the pun). I mean, seriously, I hear these things on a weekly basis.

I also remember her taking us to the mall as teens (you know, about

that time every child is embarrassed to be seen with their parents).

She used to sing, out loud, and really, everyone could hear her!

You'd ask her to stop and she'd just get louder. It wasn't funny to

me then, but looking back, it's just absolutely hilarious.

> > >

> > > i'm sorry, i had to laugh at the whole wedding situation

because i

> > > went through a similar thing. though my nada had many reasons

for

> > not

> > > coming to our wedding, one of the key components was that should

> > > couldn't leave " the babies " alone for that long.

> > >

> > > i'm curious, do you feel you have developed a keeness for dark

> > comedy?

> > > i've been noticing a lot on here that we all seem to share in

> that.

> > i

> > > guess in some of the abuse, there is the absolute absurd where

it

> is

> > > just plain hilarious. i'll never forget what on of my friend's

> said

> > to me:

> > >

> > > " yeah, i remember meeting your mom. she was tweaking balls (on

> meth)

> > > and her dog was running around in a diaper. " (i mean that in the

> > > literal sense)

> > >

> > > love,

> > > christine.

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I used to hear the same thing too- a complete description of her

movements etc. She was so bad that on days she took her laxatives

she couldn't leave the house. She had to schedule all of her doctors

apts. around what we called " Laxative Day " . LOL!

It is so amazing to hear all of these same behaviors in other people-

it blows my mind!

> > > >

> > > > i'm sorry, i had to laugh at the whole wedding situation

> because i

> > > > went through a similar thing. though my nada had many reasons

> for

> > > not

> > > > coming to our wedding, one of the key components was that

should

> > > > couldn't leave " the babies " alone for that long.

> > > >

> > > > i'm curious, do you feel you have developed a keeness for

dark

> > > comedy?

> > > > i've been noticing a lot on here that we all seem to share in

> > that.

> > > i

> > > > guess in some of the abuse, there is the absolute absurd

where

> it

> > is

> > > > just plain hilarious. i'll never forget what on of my

friend's

> > said

> > > to me:

> > > >

> > > > " yeah, i remember meeting your mom. she was tweaking balls

(on

> > meth)

> > > > and her dog was running around in a diaper. " (i mean that in

the

> > > > literal sense)

> > > >

> > > > love,

> > > > christine.

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

LOL, my nada would halt all activity until the BM came...she was so afraid

of diarrhea !! Crazy...

>

>Reply-To: WTOAdultChildren1

>To: WTOAdultChildren1

>Subject: Re: the dark comedy in it all

>Date: Fri, 23 Feb 2007 18:01:41 -0000

>

>I used to hear the same thing too- a complete description of her

>movements etc. She was so bad that on days she took her laxatives

>she couldn't leave the house. She had to schedule all of her doctors

>apts. around what we called " Laxative Day " . LOL!

>It is so amazing to hear all of these same behaviors in other people-

>it blows my mind!

>

>

>

> > > > >

> > > > > i'm sorry, i had to laugh at the whole wedding situation

> > because i

> > > > > went through a similar thing. though my nada had many reasons

> > for

> > > > not

> > > > > coming to our wedding, one of the key components was that

>should

> > > > > couldn't leave " the babies " alone for that long.

> > > > >

> > > > > i'm curious, do you feel you have developed a keeness for

>dark

> > > > comedy?

> > > > > i've been noticing a lot on here that we all seem to share in

> > > that.

> > > > i

> > > > > guess in some of the abuse, there is the absolute absurd

>where

> > it

> > > is

> > > > > just plain hilarious. i'll never forget what on of my

>friend's

> > > said

> > > > to me:

> > > > >

> > > > > " yeah, i remember meeting your mom. she was tweaking balls

>(on

> > > meth)

> > > > > and her dog was running around in a diaper. " (i mean that in

>the

> > > > > literal sense)

> > > > >

> > > > > love,

> > > > > christine.

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

>

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[Guest guest]

i could compile a movie for wes anderson and still, it would need some

drastic editing otherwise the film would be 8 years long. i have a

huge list of dark-comical things my mother would do. i loved the

napkin story by the way - my mom couldn't seem to have enough either!

a couple of stories: she used to go to denny's specifically to hang

out and steal condiment packets, small dishes for ketchup and

ashtrays. i can't tell you how many of those tiny dishes we had at our

house - and what the hell were we supposed to do with them? how many

people came over to eat a lot of ketchup or ranch dressing? umm, not

many. (on a side note, when i was 16 she happened to be at denny's

while i was there with a friend and she got kicked out for stealing

and being too drunk and obnoxious.)

she also used to take an obscene amount of those plastic produce bags

at the grocery store. she would stand there (usually in rage for some

reason) spinning the roll while miles of these bags were strewn all

over the tomato and onion isle. then she would shove them in her

purse...because they were free. again, we had enough of those bags to

wrap around the world twice, yet i didn't know why we needed them. god

knows we never had a reason to use them.

anyway, i hpe you all have found some degree of humor in the absurd.

it SO helps...

love,

christine.

[Guest guest]

I'm with you all about the dark comedy. It is the only way that I

keep myself sane and grounded. Recognizing the absurdity of some of

my nada's behaviors keeps me in the real world.

For instance, how could it not be funny when she started obsessively

drawing stick figures of my husband to show me where his parts should

go because she thinks that we're not getting pregnant due to poor

technique? It was nearly impossible not to laugh in her face. I

thanked her, said that I know that she was trying to help, and that

we were managing our sex life just fine.

Then I went home and cracked up until I had cramps.

-Maureen

> >

> > i'm sorry, i had to laugh at the whole wedding situation because i

> > went through a similar thing. though my nada had many reasons for

> not

> > coming to our wedding, one of the key components was that should

> > couldn't leave " the babies " alone for that long.

> >

> > i'm curious, do you feel you have developed a keeness for dark

> comedy?

> > i've been noticing a lot on here that we all seem to share in

that.

> i

> > guess in some of the abuse, there is the absolute absurd where it

is

> > just plain hilarious. i'll never forget what on of my friend's

said

> to me:

> >

> > " yeah, i remember meeting your mom. she was tweaking balls (on

meth)

> > and her dog was running around in a diaper. " (i mean that in the

> > literal sense)

> >

> > love,

> > christine.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

My nada did the same thing! I remember being so embarrassed when my

then-boyfriend (now my husband) was meeting my parents for the first

time, we went out to some place for lunch -- my mom put a handful of

the free crackers in her purse! And she hoards the packets, too.

Never to be used.

Once, when she needed hangers, instead of putting it on her list and

going and buying them, she went to the local dry cleaner and talked

the teenager working the counter to give her some! What nerve! And

how much did she save? She bragged about it later.

I think she thinks she should be able to live free -- not charged

for anything. Even though simple economics dictates that the people

out there providing goods and services have lives to pay for, too.

Nada doesn't think of that -- she wants everything free or dirt

cheap. I'm not sure she's worked out in her mind exactly WHO is

supposed to pay for it all.....

>

> i could compile a movie for wes anderson and still, it would need

some

> drastic editing otherwise the film would be 8 years long. i have a

> huge list of dark-comical things my mother would do. i loved the

> napkin story by the way - my mom couldn't seem to have enough

either!

>

> a couple of stories: she used to go to denny's specifically to hang

> out and steal condiment packets, small dishes for ketchup and

> ashtrays. i can't tell you how many of those tiny dishes we had at

our

> house - and what the hell were we supposed to do with them? how

many

> people came over to eat a lot of ketchup or ranch dressing? umm,

not

> many. (on a side note, when i was 16 she happened to be at denny's

> while i was there with a friend and she got kicked out for stealing

> and being too drunk and obnoxious.)

>

> she also used to take an obscene amount of those plastic produce

bags

> at the grocery store. she would stand there (usually in rage for

some

> reason) spinning the roll while miles of these bags were strewn all

> over the tomato and onion isle. then she would shove them in her

> purse...because they were free. again, we had enough of those bags

to

> wrap around the world twice, yet i didn't know why we needed them.

god

> knows we never had a reason to use them.

>

> anyway, i hpe you all have found some degree of humor in the

absurd.

> it SO helps...

>

> love,

> christine.

>

[Guest guest]

--- OMG....this freaked me out alittle bit, because my mom had a

thing about her bowel movements too. When I was really young, she

would show them to me. It just would gross me out. What did I know or

care to know about that subject.

I guess it is good we can laugh about it.

In WTOAdultChildren1 , " mitchell_kristin "

wrote:

>

> I used to hear the same thing too- a complete description of her

> movements etc. She was so bad that on days she took her laxatives

> she couldn't leave the house. She had to schedule all of her

doctors

> apts. around what we called " Laxative Day " . LOL!

> It is so amazing to hear all of these same behaviors in other

people-

> it blows my mind!

>

>

>

> > > > >

> > > > > i'm sorry, i had to laugh at the whole wedding situation

> > because i

> > > > > went through a similar thing. though my nada had many

reasons

> > for

> > > > not

> > > > > coming to our wedding, one of the key components was that

> should

> > > > > couldn't leave " the babies " alone for that long.

> > > > >

> > > > > i'm curious, do you feel you have developed a keeness for

> dark

> > > > comedy?

> > > > > i've been noticing a lot on here that we all seem to share

in

> > > that.

> > > > i

> > > > > guess in some of the abuse, there is the absolute absurd

> where

> > it

> > > is

> > > > > just plain hilarious. i'll never forget what on of my

> friend's

> > > said

> > > > to me:

> > > > >

> > > > > " yeah, i remember meeting your mom. she was tweaking balls

> (on

> > > meth)

> > > > > and her dog was running around in a diaper. " (i mean that

in

> the

> > > > > literal sense)

> > > > >

> > > > > love,

> > > > > christine.

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

These are so funny! I remember being in an all-you-can-eat buffet and seeing

mom pour her soup into her purse (not the container with the soup - just the

soup) because she paid for it and she was going to get all she paid for. Oh me,

I just felt like sliding under the table. -

kylaboo728 wrote: My nada did the same thing! I

remember being so embarrassed when my

then-boyfriend (now my husband) was meeting my parents for the first

time, we went out to some place for lunch -- my mom put a handful of

the free crackers in her purse! And she hoards the packets, too.

Never to be used.

Once, when she needed hangers, instead of putting it on her list and

going and buying them, she went to the local dry cleaner and talked

the teenager working the counter to give her some! What nerve! And

how much did she save? She bragged about it later.

I think she thinks she should be able to live free -- not charged

for anything. Even though simple economics dictates that the people

out there providing goods and services have lives to pay for, too.

Nada doesn't think of that -- she wants everything free or dirt

cheap. I'm not sure she's worked out in her mind exactly WHO is

supposed to pay for it all.....

>

> i could compile a movie for wes anderson and still, it would need

some

> drastic editing otherwise the film would be 8 years long. i have a

> huge list of dark-comical things my mother would do. i loved the

> napkin story by the way - my mom couldn't seem to have enough

either!

>

> a couple of stories: she used to go to denny's specifically to hang

> out and steal condiment packets, small dishes for ketchup and

> ashtrays. i can't tell you how many of those tiny dishes we had at

our

> house - and what the hell were we supposed to do with them? how

many

> people came over to eat a lot of ketchup or ranch dressing? umm,

not

> many. (on a side note, when i was 16 she happened to be at denny's

> while i was there with a friend and she got kicked out for stealing

> and being too drunk and obnoxious.)

>

> she also used to take an obscene amount of those plastic produce

bags

> at the grocery store. she would stand there (usually in rage for

some

> reason) spinning the roll while miles of these bags were strewn all

> over the tomato and onion isle. then she would shove them in her

> purse...because they were free. again, we had enough of those bags

to

> wrap around the world twice, yet i didn't know why we needed them.

god

> knows we never had a reason to use them.

>

> anyway, i hpe you all have found some degree of humor in the

absurd.

> it SO helps...

>

> love,

> christine.

>

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Oh my gosh! Yet another similarity. My nada was obsessed with my

BMs, too. I had to actually report to her every day when I had one,

and I could go on and on about the horror stories she would tell me

about people who went too long without having a BM. Sick, sick,

sick to tell a little girl those things.

MJL

>

> These posts are disturbing, realistic, and I really understand

what

> you mean... it seems so unreal. I mean, obviously these people

are

> mentally ill, and if it weren't for the abuse they deal out, it

> would just seem goofy to some people. It is sad, really, as they

> are so pathetic, and then I think of nada's meanness, and I don't

> feel a bit sorry for her.

>

> My nada was SO obsessed with her bowels. It was a daily affair,

to

> discuss her bowels, and well, I truly think LC started because I

> just couldn't take it anymore... I had SO much to do and she

wanted

> to tell the same poop stories over and over.

>

> I know this sounds so gross, but she was obsessed with my bm's too

> when I was little. She was just freaking wierd about it.

>

> Also, she thought she had high blood pressure, menopause that

lasted

> 25 years, and she at 70 decided it was perfectly reasonable to put

> antiperspirant on her nose so it wouldn't sweat.

>

> I could tolerate her wierdness, if she wasn't mean. It was quite

> entertaining, actually to see what she'd do next. She does crafty

> things and she's always making things out of found objects/trash.

> She's gone through phases of making dolls out of walnuts,

> lightbulbs, and dried apples. She's been making a lot of " native

> american " art even though she doesn't have a drop of indian blood

in

> her pedigree.

>

[Guest guest]

Sooo sooo glad my mom didn't make me look at her BMs!! She does have irritable

bowel syndrome, however, and needs to run to the toilet a lot. Not that I think

she's making that up, just the whole bowels thing!

mitchell_kristin wrote: I had no clue that

obsession over bowels seems to be such a BPD

trait! It should be listed in the criteria!

I had another memory when everyone was talking about their nada

stealing sugar packets, etc. from restaurants.

Mine would take rubber gloves and gauze pads from the hospital, also

the alcohol wipes. When she died she had at least 10 boxes of rubber

gloves in her closet.

-- In WTOAdultChildren1 , " Kath "

wrote:

>

> The dreaded words from Fada in my house;

>

> " Hey! Come look at this before I flush it! " *shudder*

>

>

>

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > i'm sorry, i had to laugh at the whole wedding

situation

> > > > because i

> > > > > > > went through a similar thing. though my nada had many

> > reasons

> > > > for

> > > > > > not

> > > > > > > coming to our wedding, one of the key components was

that

> > > should

> > > > > > > couldn't leave " the babies " alone for that long.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > i'm curious, do you feel you have developed a keeness

for

> > > dark

> > > > > > comedy?

> > > > > > > i've been noticing a lot on here that we all seem to

share

> > in

> > > > > that.

> > > > > > i

> > > > > > > guess in some of the abuse, there is the absolute

absurd

> > > where

> > > > it

> > > > > is

> > > > > > > just plain hilarious. i'll never forget what on of my

> > > friend's

> > > > > said

> > > > > > to me:

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > " yeah, i remember meeting your mom. she was tweaking

balls

> > > (on

> > > > > meth)

> > > > > > > and her dog was running around in a diaper. " (i mean

that

> > in

> > > the

> > > > > > > literal sense)

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > love,

> > > > > > > christine.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

Tara Rice, BCCE

Affiliated Instructor, The Bradley Method® of Natural Childbirth

www.healthybirth.net

" The world needs more Bradley® Births! "

" Every now and again take a good look at something not made with hands —a

mountain, a star, the turn of a stream.

There will come to you wisdom and patience and solace and, above all, the

assurance that you are not alone in the world. "

-Sidney Lovett

---------------------------------

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