Re: My aching back....

[Guest guest]

Oh, Caitlin, I'm so sorry you're feeling so sucky, especially when

you've got company coming!

I'm the same way, I always want my house to be spankin' clean for

company, especially those in-laws.

But maybe you can reframe your thinking - instead of you feeling

inadequate about it, maybe you can just tell yourself that you're

making your MIL feel " needed " ! There's not a mother out there who

doesn't *love* feeling needed, right? Especially after their kids

grow up and don't really need them much any more....

(And BTW, where's your dear hubby in the preparation process for

*his* parents' visit, hmmm? Maybe you can do some directing from a

comfortable position on the couch while he does the heavy lifting in

the cleaning process! <smile>)

I also know what you mean about the frustration of the parents being

healthier than you...last time I went to visit, my 80-year-old

parents boasted about not taking any pills except their daily multi-

vitamin, while I unpacked a complete pharmacy from its own

suitcase. Sigh.

Anyway, vent all you need to, girlfriend! We can love those in-laws

to pieces, but they *all* have bad timing, and since you can't

complain to your spouse about it, you've got to be able to tell your

friends!

Take care of yourself, stay warm, rest up and don't try to clean!,

and let us know what you find out from the endoscopy...

Cheryl in AZ

--- In chronic_pain , " Caitlin " <caitlink69@y...>

My MIL is a clean fanatic, so maybe I should

> just let her do what she enjoys, but it makes me feel inadequate.

> Caitlin

>

[Guest guest]

Cheryl,

You are so sweet!!! Thank you so much, your post made me feel sooo much

better. Yes, my MIL does like to feel needed and I'll just mention how much I

need her and it will make her day. Why is it so hard to tell people you

need/could use their help? Its a life lesson that I need to learn...and QUICK!

My husband was suppose to be cleaning all week. Oh, how things come up when he

is has cleaning to do!! LOL! He will help, but you know how it is, he neglects

to see dirt right in front of his eyes. He does try, so I appreciate that.

I will let you know how the procedure goes. Thanks again for the support. You

don't know how much it means to me.

Caitlin

Cheryl wrote:Oh, Caitlin, I'm so sorry you're feeling so sucky, especially when

you've got company coming!

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[Guest guest]

I have a mother in law and I have two daughters in love as I call them. I say

let her do it. She will feel needed and that is so important. You ahve no idea

until your kids are grown. She will feel like you trusted and she has helped

you. She will be happy to do it I am sure if she is decent at all. Or......you

could put greeting cards all around so it looks like you have been really sick

and people sent cards out of concern! (just kidding of course) Gwen

Caitlin wrote:Hello all,

Well, winter has officially hit here in Arkansas. I ache from my

toes to the top of my head.

[Guest guest]

Gwen,

Thanks for the laugh. I know I'm probably making a mountain out of a mole

hill, so to say. I've let it go...there is only so much I can do, especially

with my back out.

She is a good MIL. We are just really different people. She is a clean freak

and I just think that there is too much life to live to be cleaining all the

time like she does. One time she saw dust on my dresser and ran her finger

through it and held it up. She didn't have to say a thing. I was mortified. Ever

since then I've been a little sensitive.

On the other hand, she has taught me a lot about cleaning. My own mom didn't

clean much, and never really taught me how. My MIL gives great tips. So there

are two sides to every story!

Thanks for the support. I appreciate it.

Caitlin

Gwen wrote:

I have a mother in law and I have two daughters in love as I call them. I say

let her do it. She will feel needed and that is so important. You ahve no idea

until your kids are grown. She will feel like you trusted and she has helped

you. She will be happy to do it I am sure if she is decent at all. Or......you

could put greeting cards all around so it looks like you have been really sick

and people sent cards out of concern! (just kidding of course) Gwen

Caitlin wrote:Hello all,

Well, winter has officially hit here in Arkansas. I ache from my

toes to the top of my head.

[Guest guest]

Moderator's note:Everyone,please try to remember to clean your posts up prior to

sending them in to the group. It only takes a few seconds to delete the stuff

when you are finished typing your message, and it really does help the

moderators! We will have to start rejecting posts if they are sent in with

the entire previous message, and all the yahoo stuff still attached. Thank you,

one and all, in advance, for all of your wonderful help in keeping the board

cleaned up!!

I think I relate because ,my own mother in law is a clean freak. She will

actually follow you around and pick up the newspaper when you try to lay it

down. Drives me insane. Here is my philosphy about dust....There is not enough

love in the house until you can wirte I love you in the dust. Because the

people who live there are more important than dusting. Gwen

[Guest guest]

Moderator's note: Thank you, Gwen it really means a lot!

Sandy

Moderator

Oh no! Did I forget again to clean it up? I am so sorry if I did. I truly do

try to remember! Gwen

Gwen wrote:Moderator's note:Everyone,please try to

remember to clean your posts up prior to sending them in to the group.

[Guest guest]

I'm so sorry that you are having increased pain Caitlin, like others

have already said, let your mother-in-law help yeah you will still be

in pain but at least your house will be clean!

[Guest guest]

Caitlin,

I was killing myself trying to keep up with the cleaning. Three long

haired cats and a long haired dog made it so much more challenging.

Finally, my husband said to stop and get a cleaning lady. Best thing

I ever did. I'm still a clean freak but, now I don't have to put

myself in bed for two days recovering from cleaning.

Do you have children that could help out? Or someone from your

church? I know how men are so you may have to let hubby off the hook

just to keep the peace. Mine steps over things that need to be

picked up so I know he sees them. I've had two Orthopedic surgeons

and a physical therapist tell me to NEVER bend over to pick up

something from the floor and after hurting my back numerous times I

listened and got some of those 'reachers'. I have one in every room

of the house and carry a folding one in the back pocket of my chair

for using in stores.

Anyway, enough babbling. Hope your back feels better. Try moist

heat. That almost always works for me. Gotta run. Need to take my

special kitty to the vet. She has kidney disease and we are trying

to keep her going a while longer.

" Caitlin " <caitlink69@y...> wrote:

>

>

>

> My back totally went out this morning

[Guest guest]

,

So sorry about your Kitty. I hope she is okay.

I have one of those " steps over it instead of picking it up " husbands. Can be

so frustrating. Now that we have a bigger house, at least he confines it to his

office space. Used to make me so mad when I was in a cast and crutches and he

would leave stuff all over the floor. Could have broken my neck!!!

My daughter did help me clean a little Thursday night, made the bed, etc,

cleaned up all her stuff. I did a very minimal amount and then hubby mopped the

floors. YEAH. So then my MIL only had to clean up after meals and did a little

elsewhere. She said she wished she lived closer so she could come over and

clean. I DO TOO!!!

We had a nice visit anyway. My back is still out and I can barely move my

neck. If I move it in certain positions a shooting pain goes from my neck all

the way down my back. Its scares me because it is most definately nerve pain AND

those horrible spasms we all know too well. Needless to say, I spent most of the

weekend with my TENS unit going or on ice packs. I'm trying to not get that

defeatest attitude but its starting to catch up with me.

Thanks for the suggestion on the reacher. If things don't improve soon, I may

have to invest in one myself. Oh and a cleaning lady might be on the agenda soon

too. UGH!

Take care,

Caitlin

Goodwin < wrote:Finally, my husband said to stop and get a cleaning lady.

Best thing I ever did. I'm still a clean freak but, now I don't have to put

myself in bed for two days recovering from cleaning.Mine steps over things that

need to be picked up so I know he sees them.

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