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Hi a...

No matter what anyone tells you,if you have had one or fifty

surgeries and are in pain, then you are in pain. I see people who I

believe are much worse off than me and feel bad for them and am told

the same thing.

I have come to believe that most people who suffer from Chronic pain

are hero's for living through the day to day agony of this worlds

suffering. I also will never say I am worse off than someone else

because everyone's pain is different.

Thanks for the nice welcome and I too am sorry for your suffering.

I hope to remain in the group and make friends and maybe help a few

people out who may need someone out here in cyber space to get them

through a painful night or week or month.

Also, just a warning, I may mispell a lot of words and sometimes not

make a whole bunch of sense and I blame this on the medication and

the lack of sleep. I sometimes go through days in a daze and never

realize the time that has gone by.

I met my Finacee on the web in a chatroom before I was operated on

by the neorosurgeon and we have been together for ten years now. He

is my best friend in the world and I sometimes worry that I am too

much of a burden on him.

Along with the pain I also suffer from depression and have been on

medication for this but it just does not take away the sadness or the

anger and those are the things that make me lie awake at night

thinking things like, " Is this fair? " Why doesn;t it happen to mean

people or people who just don't care about anyone? "

I can see that everyone here has it hard, and it is sad but I hope

that by coming together in a community such as this we can reach out

for the support we need from others we would never have met otherwise.

Just one more thing, I too make sure I always have extra pain meds

with me. I am so tired of fighting with nurses and doctors in certain

hospitals about my high doseage of pain meds. It's just so wrong. I

sometimes find myself wondering why they can't feel the pain for just

a minute and then see what they would say.

Nice to meet you!

Christi

a wrote:

> Your story brought tears to my eyes. You've been through so much;

I feel like I have no right to complain about pain or my 15 surgeries

after reading what's befallen you over the years.

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Christi wrote:

I met my Finacee on the web in a chatroom before I was operated on

by the neorosurgeon and we have been together for ten years now. He

is my best friend in the world and I sometimes worry that I am too

much of a burden on him.

Christi,

I met my husband online, too! We both played video poker at pogo.com (a free

site where you play for worthless tokens, not money). Dave and I got to talking,

one thing led to another, and before I knew it, he'd moved from Colorado to

land to be with me! I didn't want to get married again, and it was a running

joke with us that he'd propose every couple of months and I'd turn him down.

Glad I finally gave in, though (although I maintain it's because I was on meds!

LOL), because he's been terrific throughout this ordeal and I don't know how I

could handle life without him now. Like you, I worry about being a burden, but

then I remind myself that he sure knew what he was getting himself into when he

said " I do. "

Along with the pain I also suffer from depression and have been on

medication for this but it just does not take away the sadness or the

anger

Oh, yes! The zoloft takes away the really bad thoughts (suicidal ideation) but

it doesn't really affect the underlying depression. Kind of like the meds take

the edge off of the pain, but my body still hurts most of the time.

My body has been falling apart since I was in my early 30s, so almost 20 years

now. Through it all, I somehow managed to bounce back. Broken knee, broken

wrist, trapped ulnar and radial nerves, broken hip ,I recovered. (Okay, not so

much from the hip, but still, I was back to doing almost what I'd been able to

do beforehand.) But of all things, the facial pain is what's done me in. Even

though I'm facing more arm and foot surgery, at least I know that those can be

fixed, albeit for just a few years, as my nerves keep getting trapped over and

over again. But with the face, there's no fix. Just treat the pain. So my choice

is horrific pain all the time, or " just " pain and the brain fog of the meds.

The computer has become my lifeline, my window into the outside world. I

sometimes go out to the store or to dinner with Dave or a friend, but nowhere

near as often as I used to, because there are days when I just can't manage to

put clothes on. And I don't drive anymore because I'm so spacy that I feel it

would be irresponsible to do so. The loss of independence is perhaps the worst

side-effect of the meds for me.

Well, I'm off to the pain doc today for my monthly check-in. Don't know if

he's going to adjust my meds again or keep the status quo. At least he works

with me and is trying. Guess I can't ask for much more than that.

Hugs,

a

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" Christi " wrote:

>

> Hi, My name is Christi, I am 42 years old and live in New York State.

> I was injured at work in 1987

Good morning and hello to all new members,

I haven't been on line for a few days, and have missed many

opportunities greeting all new people to Chronic_pain, I am sorry you

need to be here, but ,In my opinion, you wont find a better group of

supportive people on the planet.

Again, welcome, I am very happy to have found this group myself

recently too!

Take care and feel better.

/NY

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Christi,

Welcome to the group. I like what you said about taking it one day at a time.

I totally agree because otherwise it can all just be too overwhelming. I hope

you find some comfort in this group. Take care,

Caitlin

Christi wrote:Mainly I am looking for people who,

like me, suffer daily, and try to get through each day as it comes

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> Christi,

>

> I met my husband online, too! We both played video poker at

pogo.com (a free site where you play for worthless tokens, not money).

a.

Sounds like you two really hit it off. I remember pogo. We used to

play spades there till all hours of the night. LOL

I am glad you also found someone who will love you for being you. My

Finacee say it was my strength that made him first attracted to me

and that sounds like what happened with you two.

I have been down to land for my last 6 surgeries and absolutley

love s Hopkins Hospital as they treated me so well there and then

flew me back to NY to finish recovering so I could be closer to my

family.

I too know that a lot of pain I am feeling comes from depression and

I am on 60mgs of Prozac but don't see that big of a difference. I

have been on a few others but they always seem to have the weight

gain as a side affect and I just cannot place anymore pressure on my

spine by gaining any weight. I was 5'8 and weighed a good 150 pounds

but was not heavy but look as if I am because even though I have lost

inches in height, I have not lost weight and remain the same so I

don't want to gain anymore.

It really sucks. There is a great medication out that will help with

my restless legs too but this also had a bad side effect of a extreme

weight gain and I was on it for 2 weeks and gained 10 pounds before

getting off of it. I guess we have to take the bad effects if we want

to be able to breath without any pain.

Thanks for sharing. I am sorry for your pain and hope one day we all

will be pain free.

Christi

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>caitlin wrote:

I like what you said about taking it one day at a time. I totally agree because

otherwise it can all just be too overwhelming.

Hi Caitlin

Thank you.

I agree with the above as sometimes just going minute by minute is

the only way to get through a pain crisis. I hope one day that nobody

needs to suffer anymore and that there are ways for them to measure

our physical pain so they stop jugding and just " prescribe to get by "

Too many docs are afraid of pain meds and it is us who ends up

suffering, not them or the FDA or the states insurance co.

Second by second, minute by minute and thank god for the internet as

none of us would have known where or when we could get this much

support.

Christi

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" Christi " wrote:

>

> Hi, My name is Christi, I am 42 years old and live

in New York State.

> I was injured at work in 1987

Christi

welcome to the group from another New Yorker ( from

Buffalo)

and also started my road to chronic pain thru work

injuries

good luck

Hope your having a pain free and interresting day

Jim

check out my site for personal info and photography

http://www.gargoylesdomain.com

There is only one difference between a madman and me.

The madman thinks he is sane.

I know I am mad.

Salvador Dali

__________________________________________________

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Christi wrote:Too many docs are afraid of pain meds

and it is us who ends up suffering, not them or the FDA or the states insurance

co.

I hear you Christi!

I get prescribed a VERY limited amount of pain meds and can't even get ones

with lower doses of Tylenol in them. I'm scared for my liver!

They WILL give me meds that make me mentally unstable, obese, lethargic and

manic though(but still in pain!). Go figure!

Caitlin

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