Guest guest Posted September 23, 2005 Report Share Posted September 23, 2005 Depends on the person. Is he alone or does he have a support system? Will he be leaving wife, children? What is the stage of his disease. Does he have a pre existing depression? Why has he lost hope? Probably the best thing to do is to ask why and then listen. In a similar situation I was able to set up an intervention with the family and a therapist. In another situation I had a friend who committed suicide and I was one of the last people to talk to him. He did not talk about suicide but did say some things I thought were a little unusual. When someone talks about it, I have been told they want someone to stop them even though they may be angry at whoever does. How is that for no help? This website might help. http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/ This website might also help. http://www.save.org/prevention/someone_you_know.html Kathy What would you say? If a PCa patient talked about suicide? B. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 23, 2005 Report Share Posted September 23, 2005 Bill and I talked about this also. It was something he considered for the time there was no hope. He did not do it. We did hospice and the pain was under control and the time even at the end that we both had meant a great deal to both of us. I understand both your response and his thoughts. Kathy -----Original Message-----From: ProstateCancerSupport [mailto:ProstateCancerSupport ] On Behalf Of captwildchildSent: Friday, September 23, 2005 5:19 PMTo: ProstateCancerSupport Subject: Re: What would you say? Oddly enough I find myself already in this position. When Dale was doing so badly and had lost 25 lbs in 3 weeks he told me in one of his rants about being angry that no doctor was doing anything... if he couldn't live a normal life he would end it. I said ok. I know that the day will come when Dale will be in enough pain and be weak enough that he will not want to live. In Oregon he can get a perscription and take an overdose. My major concerns are not that he kill himself, but that his daughters not know. I don't really want them to carry the burden that he did this. And I would prefer to know he is going to rather than to come home one day and find him dead. I would prefer to be there. I know there are others who think this is terrible. I will live with the consequences. Peace on the journey,Juel captwildchild@...************************************If you are going through hell, keep going. --Winston ChurchillSeptember is Prostate Cancer Awareness Month. http://www.pcaawareness.net/ Yahoo! for GoodClick here to donate to the Hurricane Katrina relief effort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 23, 2005 Report Share Posted September 23, 2005 Bill and I talked about this also. It was something he considered for the time there was no hope. He did not do it. We did hospice and the pain was under control and the time even at the end that we both had meant a great deal to both of us. I understand both your response and his thoughts. Thank you Kathy. I of course hope the end for us turns out more like it did for you. But I recognize that he has the right to choose his own ending. Peace on the journey,Juel captwildchild@...************************************If you are going through hell, keep going. --Winston ChurchillSeptember is Prostate Cancer Awareness Month. http://www.pcaawareness.net/ Yahoo! for Good Click here to donate to the Hurricane Katrina relief effort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 23, 2005 Report Share Posted September 23, 2005 Do you mean " talked about " or " talked of " [committing] it? You seem to be talking " about " it though I must admit I don't understand why you've asked. If you mean talk " of " , then I'd try to find out what lay behind that (eg fear) to see if it could be resolved in a different way. IMO It is a very fraught topic for carers. Although I've read and respect Juel's recent posts the law in Oregon is not like the UK (even after attempts to change it.) Sam, you may be interested to know that [in UK] I might be held responsible if I helped someone to travel [to Oregon] since there have been prosecutions here eg for going to Switzerland for assisted suicide. On Fri, 23 Sep 2005 21:47:21 +0100 " Metcalf " wrote: If a PCa patient talked about suicide? B. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 23, 2005 Report Share Posted September 23, 2005 I know its very much like that here to. However it seems to be upto the procuter wheather to file or not. Some do and some dont. I wasnt suggesting, just expressing my feelings and thoughts. I hope it didnt come out that way. Like you said its upto the person. --- yorkiedip@... wrote: > > > Do you mean " talked about " or " talked of " > [committing] it? You seem to be talking " about " it > though I must admit I don't understand why you've > asked. If you mean talk " of " , then I'd try to find > out what lay behind that (eg fear) to see if it > could be resolved in a different way. > > IMO It is a very fraught topic for carers. Although > I've read and respect Juel's recent posts the law in > Oregon is not like the UK (even after attempts to > change it.) > > Sam, you may be interested to know that [in UK] I > might be held responsible if I helped someone to > travel [to Oregon] since there have been > prosecutions here eg for going to Switzerland for > assisted suicide. > > > > > > On Fri, 23 Sep 2005 21:47:21 +0100 " Metcalf " > wrote: > > To: " Prostate Cancer Support " > <ProstateCancerSupport > > > Date: Fri, 23 Sep 2005 21:47:21 +0100 > Subject: What would you say? > > If a PCa patient talked about suicide? > > B. Join with me in cancer research project at Oxford University. All you do is dl the grid UD a small program, connect and follow the url below Your idle processor time will be used to search for chenical bonding of possible cancer fighting proteins. United Devices and The Grid.org. http://www.grid.org/services/teams/team.htm?id=5C7E8C02-9DB9-49F8-A5F3-DD374DCAA\ 144 Someone once gave me a $25.00 gift certificate to DR Kevorkian. I wish I had kept it now! I'm sometimes argumentative, mostly stubborn and opionated, Never wrong but sometimes close to someone who is, but most of all, I always care! Sam I Am ______________________________________________________ Yahoo! for Good Donate to the Hurricane Katrina relief effort. http://store.yahoo.com/redcross-donate3/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 24, 2005 Report Share Posted September 24, 2005 Tough question, my mother died of lung cancer, and she was in great pain up until she pass, she fought each step of the way, taking suicide never came cross her lips, it a terrible sight, I feel that it would only be fair for the person in pain to answer. suicide included. Metcalf wrote: If a PCa patient talked about suicide? B. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 24, 2005 Report Share Posted September 24, 2005 I agree Clarence. Usually a person knows when enough is enough. I watched father and mother pass and its not pleasant. Ive even talked to my family Doc about their passing. I hope when I go that I will see them again in a better place. That thought helps me keep what little sanity I have left. I don't know what the answer is but I do think its a personal choice. I know it will be the right one for me when its time. I just lost one of the owners of the company I work for to pancreatic cancer. His quest was always just around the corner, the magic bullet that was going to cure him. Everyone had him believing that he would survive it even though the stats say less than 5% do. In the end he left this earth a very angry man because he was chasing the cure that never came. It was always just a few weeks away. My wife says I'm a pessimist but I think I'm a realist. Its like a poker game, you look over the hand you were dealt and weigh the percentages then call or fold. There are no raises in this game! --- Clarence wrote: > Tough question, my mother died of lung cancer, and > she was in great pain up until she pass, she fought > each step of the way, taking suicide never came > cross her lips, it a terrible sight, I feel that it > would only be fair for the person in pain to answer. > suicide included. > > Metcalf wrote: If a > PCa patient talked about suicide? Join with me in cancer research project at Oxford University. All you do is dl the grid UD a small program, connect and follow the url below Your idle processor time will be used to search for chenical bonding of possible cancer fighting proteins. United Devices and The Grid.org. http://www.grid.org/services/teams/team.htm?id=5C7E8C02-9DB9-49F8-A5F3-DD374DCAA\ 144 Someone once gave me a $25.00 gift certificate to DR Kevorkian. I wish I had kept it now! I'm sometimes argumentative, mostly stubborn and opionated, Never wrong but sometimes close to someone who is, but most of all, I always care! Sam I Am __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 26, 2005 Report Share Posted September 26, 2005 Thank you for your words cam. You gave me a new perspective. My only worry with Dale's girls are that they will think he is in hell if he commits suicide. Of course I would want him to say goodbyes. He is doing badly again. He was so weak this morning I was afraid he was going to pass out in the shower. I will go home for lunch to check on him in a few minutes. Peace on the journey,Juel captwildchild@...************************************If you are going through hell, keep going. --Winston ChurchillSeptember is Prostate Cancer Awareness Month. http://www.pcaawareness.net/ Yahoo! for Good Click here to donate to the Hurricane Katrina relief effort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 26, 2005 Report Share Posted September 26, 2005 It would depend on what I already knew, and if I felt I needed more information. --- Metcalf wrote: > If a PCa patient talked about suicide? > > B. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 26, 2005 Report Share Posted September 26, 2005 I'd be on your side Juel. --- captwildchild wrote: > Oddly enough I find myself already in this position. When Dale was doing so badly and had lost > 25 lbs in 3 weeks he told me in one of his rants about being angry that no doctor was doing > anything... if he couldn't live a normal life he would end it. I said ok. > > I know that the day will come when Dale will be in enough pain and be weak enough that he will > not want to live. In Oregon he can get a perscription and take an overdose. My major concerns > are not that he kill himself, but that his daughters not know. I don't really want them to carry > the burden that he did this. And I would prefer to know he is going to rather than to come home > one day and find him dead. I would prefer to be there. > > I know there are others who think this is terrible. I will live with the consequences. > > > Peace on the journey, > Juel > captwildchild@... > ************************************ > If you are going through hell, keep going. --Winston Churchill > > September is Prostate Cancer Awareness Month. http://www.pcaawareness.net/ > > --------------------------------- > Yahoo! for Good > Click here to donate to the Hurricane Katrina relief effort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 26, 2005 Report Share Posted September 26, 2005 I watched my grandfather die of pancreatic cancer. I was living with him at the time... --- sam mcdaniel wrote: > I agree Clarence. Usually a person knows when enough > is enough. I watched father and mother pass and its > not pleasant. Ive even talked to my family Doc about > their passing. I hope when I go that I will see them > again in a better place. That thought helps me keep > what little sanity I have left. I don't know what the > answer is but I do think its a personal choice. I know > it will be the right one for me when its time. > > I just lost one of the owners of the company I work > for to pancreatic cancer. His quest was always just > around the corner, the magic bullet that was going to > cure him. Everyone had him believing that he would > survive it even though the stats say less than 5% do. > In the end he left this earth a very angry man because > he was chasing the cure that never came. It was always > just a few weeks away. > > My wife says I'm a pessimist but I think I'm a > realist. > Its like a poker game, you look over the hand you were > dealt and weigh the percentages then call or fold. > There are no raises in this game! > > > --- Clarence wrote: > > > Tough question, my mother died of lung cancer, and > > she was in great pain up until she pass, she fought > > each step of the way, taking suicide never came > > cross her lips, it a terrible sight, I feel that it > > would only be fair for the person in pain to answer. > > suicide included. > > > > Metcalf wrote: If a > > PCa patient talked about suicide? > > > Join with me in cancer research project at Oxford University. > All you do is dl the grid UD a small program, connect and follow the url below > Your idle processor time will be used to search for chenical bonding of possible > cancer fighting proteins. United Devices and The Grid.org. > > http://www.grid.org/services/teams/team.htm?id=5C7E8C02-9DB9-49F8-A5F3-DD374DCAA\ 144 > > Someone once gave me a $25.00 gift certificate to DR Kevorkian. > I wish I had kept it now! I'm sometimes argumentative, mostly stubborn and opionated, > Never wrong but sometimes close to someone who is, but most of all, I always care! > > Sam I Am > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 26, 2005 Report Share Posted September 26, 2005 I really don't know what to say. I do wish I could help! Just remember that my points of view are mine alone and shouldn't be taken any other way. I'm going through a hard time with my wife and boys. My wife promptly reminded me that I wasn't the only one going through this. At first I was hurt and disappointed because no one wanted to talk about it. Then out of the clear blue it hit me. Not on purpose, but, I have been trying to remote myself from them to spare them as much pain as possible. Not understanding this since diagnosis, the more they try to console me the harder I pushed them away. This is not logical as I love and need them very much. We have been together 34 years this coming February. So after my epiphany, I'm cleaning up my act and am bound and determined to live as normally as I can for what ever time I have left. The reason I'm writing this to you is so you might understand what Dale's motives might be! He may not be conscience of it or not. Take care As always Love and Peace be with you both. Sam I am --- captwildchild wrote: > Thank you for your words cam. You gave me a new > perspective. My only worry with Dale's girls are > that they will think he is in hell if he commits > suicide. Of course I would want him to say goodbyes. > > > He is doing badly again. He was so weak this morning __________________________________ Yahoo! Mail - PC Magazine Editors' Choice 2005 http://mail.yahoo.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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