Re: sherry

[Guest guest]

Tell her if you could get rid of it, you would choose to give it to her! Sorry,

couldn't resist. I don't think I would try to salvage this friendship until she

gets over her phase of judging people when she knows nothing of what she is

talking about.

Margaret

Sherry

>I received a very strange email from a girl I have been friends

with via the internet/mail for about four years+. She is apparently

into some new age thing where they try to avoid and take out all the

negativity and stress in your life.< >Anyway, she told me that I

was a negative influence on her because I abuse myself by giving

into the pain and all< >What would you do? By the way

she said we could no longer be friends until I could completely let

all of the pain go.<

Sherry,

To be blunt, I don't think this girl has any idea what you are going

thru and you are better off without her. When people start telling

you that you are a negative influence on them -- it is time to walk

away -- so you can be a negative influence on someone who won't tell

you <g>. I have heard of people who get on a kick about not having

any " stress " or " negativity " in their lives - but to tell you the

truth - I think that it is impossible to achieve that. If this

person is not willing to listen to anything that is going on with

you - negative or not - then it is probably better not to worry

about contacting her again. Ok --- enough of my 2 cents <g>.

>My family is great, but they don't always understand specifics and

I want to be here for all of you and help you too! Sometimes, it

seems like my husband doesn't always understand (even though he says

he does) whenever I don't feel like having sex. Any suggestions on

this? Hope this isn't TOO personal!<

My husband doesn't understand also. I think he tries, at times, but

fibro is hard to understand - even we don't understand it all and we

are the smarter of the sexes ;-) I try to explain it to him, and

to explain to him exactly why I do not feel like or cannot have sex

at that time. It is not something the guys will ever truly

understand since they LIVE for sex. No matter how much we assure

them that it is not because of them that we do not wish to have sex,

to THEM it is about them - it's called ego. And NO - this is not a

slam against men for any who may be reading this - this is how they

were made. Women can be comforted and accepting of cuddling as

spending time together, but men want to know if the cuddling is

going to lead them somewhere.

As much as possible, try to offer sex when you DO feel like it - or

lay and cuddle and you might get to feeling like it. I find that if

I offer when I feel like it - or when I am not COMPLETELY against it

(LOL) - that it helps my husband because at least he knows that he

will get it every so often. I have other problems than the fm that

cause a great deal of vaginal area pain - and if I don't want it -

He's not getting it. I know that there have been times where he's

had to go quite awhile before I wanted intercourse, but some times I

am willing to take care of things another way.

And that is the rest of my 2 cents - but I suppose these 2 added to

the 2 above makes 4 cents - so I guess I've spent over my limit ----

darn, maybe I'll do better next time - LOL.

((((HUGS))))

a

1. While it is wonderful to share our experiences with everyone on the list as

to what treatments do and don't work for us, pls always check with your dr.

Some treatments are dangerous when given along with other meds as well as to

certain health conditions or just dangerous in general.

2. If you are in a difficult situation (doesn't matter what it is) pls don't

be afraid to ask for help. It is the first step to trying to make that

situation better.

Have a nice day everyone.

[Guest guest]

Sherry,

That doesn't sound like much of a friend to me. I think true friends

are with us through the good, the bad and the ugly. If you do not

wish to lose this person from your life I would suggest that you

consider " demoting " her from " friend " to " occasional acquaintance

status " . For me when someone is placed on " OAS " it means that I

don't go out of my way for them. If they email I will email back, if

they say how are you I will give them the 8 x 10 glossy version

which means I hit the highlights of my life and that's all (meaning

I don't give them any in depth info about me) and if I never hear

from them again...welllll....that's ok too.

Just my " 2 "

Pixi

[Guest guest]

Hi Sherry,

Bless your heart, I could feel your distress as I read your

post.

I know that it hurts you because she said that you can't be

friends anymore. I know that it hurts because you didn't do

anything to expect this behavior from her, and so you don't know

what you are supposed to do because there was not really an

explanation.

Sometimes we have to move on. If you were ever in girl scouts

remember the song make new friends but keep the old one is silver

and the other gold.

Well some old friends are Gold but some turn out to be fools

gold. Meaning they have fooled you into thinking they have been

your friend but in reality they wanted you for them, and didn't care

about you or your problems.

This sounds like the case here.

If she can't take you through the bad times but can be there

for you in the good times she is not there for you when you need her

most, and that is always. A true friend will be there for you all

the time, not just when your feeing good.

Sometimes we have to let go of the fools gold, and bring in the

silver to make our lives happier.

Let us be your silver and make up for that fools gold

Love ya

Lynette

[Guest guest]

oh,Sherry,that is terrible,hon..and i agree,it sounds as if you are better

off without her..real friends support you,through your pain,your

depression,through everything..(((hugs))) carmen