Re: Re: Pound cake

[Guest guest]

, your comment about the thank you note struck a chord with me. I was

always taught to believe that I was a nuisance and that I should thank anyone

who would put up with me. Thank you notes are wonderful and thoughtful - but

not when intended as an apology for your existence. In answer to an earlier

post, yes, I believe all BPDs are " cutters " . If there's any doubt, look at the

scars in the hearts of those who love them. They cut " where it counts " . There

should be a slogan... " BPD - where they drink the poison, and we die " Thank God

for this list where we find a real family. -

christine wrote: i love it. pound cake?

yes, how dare you. how dare you with the pound

cake. they really have mastered us with self-doubt, haven't they?

same here. the last time i visited nada and my foo, i had a live-in

boyfriend that i took with me. we stayed at my grandnada's and

grandfada's house (in separate rooms- they're old fashioned) and nada

pulled me aside and told me not to sneak off and have sex with my

boyfriend. WHAT? like i saved all my sexual energy, with A LIVE-IN

BOYFRIEND, to go off and sex at my grandparent's house ( you know,

'cause i can't think of anything else that gets me all frenzied in a

sexual haze). please.

the day i got ready to leave my nada made me fill out a thank you card

to my grandparents for letting me stay with them. again, i was taken

aback. i wasn't too sure that was appropriate. but she was on the

verge of raging, so i did it and felt terribly awkward. i had to ask

other people if it was a thing you're supposed to do - filling out

thank you cards to family for " letting " you stay with them. it's

laughable.

love to you-

christine

>

> Someone discussed the humor in the situation. I think we try to

tell others about our

> ordeals in a funny way, otherwise they don't understand and try to

get US to understand

> the BPD and give us guilt. I've made many many jokes to others

about my mother.

> Actually, not jokes but true stories.

>

> My husband's favorite. We were going to visit my mother and my

aunts were also going to

> be there. I asked her what to bring and she said, " a dessert " .

Mind you there was always a

> cake per person at these family gatherings, and everyone ended up

taking theirs home.

> So on the way there we stopped at the bakery, and my husband told me

to buy a

> pound cake (his favorite) - we figured my Aunt Marcia would bring a

choc cake, Aunt

> Harriet a blueberry cake and my mother something else real sweet and

dense. Well, my

> mother was furious at me for bringing a pound cake! " What could you

be thinking - a

> pound cake!!!!! " Really angry and nasty. I replied, " Do you know

what I would say if

> someone brought me a pound cake? " She said snottily, " What? " " Thank

you " , I replied.I

> remember being so shocked that I actually cried in my old bedroom.

>

> The story is pretty funny now because of course whenever she is

coming over my husband

> or my brother tell me to buy a pound cake, but at the time, I

actually called up friends (and

> I was around 40 yrs. old) and asked if they thought bringing a pound

cake to someone's

> house was wrong.

>

> It is amazing the doubts she can put in my head. Also, up until

about 5 yrs ago she

> returned every single gift I gave her and told me. Now, finally she

returns them

> and doesn't tell me (I insisted on this) and I don't ask. She would

usually tell me before

> she left the restaurant on her birthday that the gift was the wrong

color, size, etc.

>

> Also, one more thing, since you were talking about Nada's stealing.

Whenever we shopped

> for a coat or jacket, she always brought along a pair of cuticle

scissors so she could cut a

> button off of another coat and have an extra in case I lost one. I

was mortified - not to

> mention all the times she hit me in the dressing room.

>

> She can never make a decision about anything and then when life

makes the decision for

> her (she doesn't understand that NO decision is a decision), she is

furious at the world -

> usually me or my brother, because besides my brother, and one of her

sisters, no relatives

> speak to her anymore.

>

> She has made me so crazy - buying and returning is her life, that I

used to buy a winter

> coat and leave the label on for a week or two ( while wearing

it)because she convinced me

> it wouldn't be warm enough and I couldn't decide if I should keep it

or not. I don't do that

> any more either.

>

> Thank G-d I have a wonderful relationship with my 16 yr old

daughter, we laugh together

> all the time, are great buddies and she loves to be with me. Of

course, i've put quite a bit

> of distance between me and my mother (to survive and to be able to

be a good mom) - try

> to keep calls to once a week and visits to every 2 -3 months. She

only lives 50 minutes

> away. I also thank G-d for my DH.

>

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