Re: Re: Why is this a common thread?

[Guest guest]

GREAT for you, LIzzy!!!!

Gre.g

--- lizzyboo81 wrote:

> To all, first off I want to say Kerrie, you really

> speak with grace.

>

> They will do this mine right now has had " several

> major medical

> conditions " especially in the last 6 months.

> Including benign tumors

> in the brain. UGH! Last year I think it was liver

> cancer! This past

> summer " kidney failure " ! Anything to turn my head

> but my head just

> keeps looking forward.

>

> I know we all have so much in common and one thing I

> have made as a

> personal choice is this….If each family member I

> have were to die

> today would I be at peace with the standing

> relationship? Have I

> spoken all that I need to speak? Would I be happy

> with my self about

> going or not going to a funeral? Because they will

> be dead, we will

> be alive, we only need to worry about ourselves

> because we can't

> worry about anybody else we only can change and help

> our selves.

>

> I have decided I am at peace with all relationships

> the way they are

> standing. They are all very different. Nada and I

> are n/c and I have

> not been able to speak my peace, the last words I

> said were " F%#@

> you " but I think she knows I love her;-) What did

> she think I would

> say she was taking me to court for my kids? I did

> see her one time

> for court forced visitation after now that I think

> about it she did

> something and I said " stop mom your scaring my kids "

> but I think

> overall she would not hear me anyways if I did say I

> love you she

> can't hear when I tell her stop or f off why would

> she hear I love

> you? I would like to be at her deathbed or funeral.

> In regards to my

> sister, she sometimes makes me mad b/c I think she

> is on the fence

> but I clearly said I love you and I meant it. I hope

> nothing happens

> to her she is so young but if it did I am at peace

> with what I said.

> With my dad I tell him every time I talk to him I

> love him if we

> ever talk about the family and how my mom should get

> I even say I

> love my mom and my sister I want him to know I don't

> hate my family

> they are just difficult. I am at peace there also. I

> am not sure my

> mom would let me come to the funeral of my dad or

> sister.

> Grandnada, our last conversation was a bad one but I

> really don't

> care what do you expect from a bp? I would not go to

> her funeral and

> I am at peace with what I said to her. I tried to be

> clear this is

> not my fault but she needs a place to lay blame and

> it sure is not

> herself or her daughter! I love her but she is not

> my cup of tea.

> And all the rest I have peace there also. Sometimes

> silence is the

> peace.

>

> I feel much like what Kerrie wrote I don't want to

> get roped into

> their chaos! I am making great strides in my life. I

> know some of my

> last conversations were maybe considered " bad ones "

> by outsiders

> looking in. Like the conversations I had w/ nada and

> grandnada but

> like I said when you talk to a bp what do you

> expect. One thing my

> nada always tried to do to haunt me was tell me how

> I better never

> get mad b/c it might be the last time I see

> somebody. That is bull,

> even if you were mad at somebody when they died I

> like to think that

> years of a steady relationship would cover that! So

> I give myself

> the freedom to feel mad, I am not mad at grandnada

> and nada (for the

> time being) But our last conversation was sour. I

> really could care

> less even if our last conversation was sweet it

> would make no

> difference in the true character in either of us. I

> am at peace

> whether they are or not is up to them.

>

> I hope this did not sound cold hearted I just can't

> let myself be

> hurt anymore. This is the way I know how. Merry

> Christmas. All my

> love Lizzy

>

> > > >

> > > > Why does it seem like as soon as a KO goes NC

> their nada's get

> > > cancer

> > > > or some other major life threatening illness?

> Is it a ploy to

> > pull

> > > us

> > > > back in or is it legit health issues b/c the

> rage eats away at

> > > them

> > > > so badly and they have even more anger when we

> finally

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__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

GREAT for you, LIzzy!!!!

Gre.g

--- lizzyboo81 wrote:

> To all, first off I want to say Kerrie, you really

> speak with grace.

>

> They will do this mine right now has had " several

> major medical

> conditions " especially in the last 6 months.

> Including benign tumors

> in the brain. UGH! Last year I think it was liver

> cancer! This past

> summer " kidney failure " ! Anything to turn my head

> but my head just

> keeps looking forward.

>

> I know we all have so much in common and one thing I

> have made as a

> personal choice is this….If each family member I

> have were to die

> today would I be at peace with the standing

> relationship? Have I

> spoken all that I need to speak? Would I be happy

> with my self about

> going or not going to a funeral? Because they will

> be dead, we will

> be alive, we only need to worry about ourselves

> because we can't

> worry about anybody else we only can change and help

> our selves.

>

> I have decided I am at peace with all relationships

> the way they are

> standing. They are all very different. Nada and I

> are n/c and I have

> not been able to speak my peace, the last words I

> said were " F%#@

> you " but I think she knows I love her;-) What did

> she think I would

> say she was taking me to court for my kids? I did

> see her one time

> for court forced visitation after now that I think

> about it she did

> something and I said " stop mom your scaring my kids "

> but I think

> overall she would not hear me anyways if I did say I

> love you she

> can't hear when I tell her stop or f off why would

> she hear I love

> you? I would like to be at her deathbed or funeral.

> In regards to my

> sister, she sometimes makes me mad b/c I think she

> is on the fence

> but I clearly said I love you and I meant it. I hope

> nothing happens

> to her she is so young but if it did I am at peace

> with what I said.

> With my dad I tell him every time I talk to him I

> love him if we

> ever talk about the family and how my mom should get

> I even say I

> love my mom and my sister I want him to know I don't

> hate my family

> they are just difficult. I am at peace there also. I

> am not sure my

> mom would let me come to the funeral of my dad or

> sister.

> Grandnada, our last conversation was a bad one but I

> really don't

> care what do you expect from a bp? I would not go to

> her funeral and

> I am at peace with what I said to her. I tried to be

> clear this is

> not my fault but she needs a place to lay blame and

> it sure is not

> herself or her daughter! I love her but she is not

> my cup of tea.

> And all the rest I have peace there also. Sometimes

> silence is the

> peace.

>

> I feel much like what Kerrie wrote I don't want to

> get roped into

> their chaos! I am making great strides in my life. I

> know some of my

> last conversations were maybe considered " bad ones "

> by outsiders

> looking in. Like the conversations I had w/ nada and

> grandnada but

> like I said when you talk to a bp what do you

> expect. One thing my

> nada always tried to do to haunt me was tell me how

> I better never

> get mad b/c it might be the last time I see

> somebody. That is bull,

> even if you were mad at somebody when they died I

> like to think that

> years of a steady relationship would cover that! So

> I give myself

> the freedom to feel mad, I am not mad at grandnada

> and nada (for the

> time being) But our last conversation was sour. I

> really could care

> less even if our last conversation was sweet it

> would make no

> difference in the true character in either of us. I

> am at peace

> whether they are or not is up to them.

>

> I hope this did not sound cold hearted I just can't

> let myself be

> hurt anymore. This is the way I know how. Merry

> Christmas. All my

> love Lizzy

>

> > > >

> > > > Why does it seem like as soon as a KO goes NC

> their nada's get

> > > cancer

> > > > or some other major life threatening illness?

> Is it a ploy to

> > pull

> > > us

> > > > back in or is it legit health issues b/c the

> rage eats away at

> > > them

> > > > so badly and they have even more anger when we

> finally

=== message truncated ===

__________________________________________________