VENT: I hate being the boundary police!

[Guest guest]

I just got a happy birthday call on my work # from fada. I hung up as

soon as I heard his voice.

It's so against my nature to do this and I HATE IT! I hate having to

say No over and over again in word and action and not being respected.

Even being NC sucks! But I know it's better than being on the roller

coaster of BP.

a

[Guest guest]

VENT: I hate being the boundary police!

I just got a happy birthday call on my work # from fada. I hung up as

soon as I heard his voice.

It's so against my nature to do this and I HATE IT! I hate having to

say No over and over again in word and action and not being respected.

Even being NC sucks! But I know it's better than being on the roller

coaster of BP.

a

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[Guest guest]

a,

I'm so sorry that he is being such a bastard. Happy Birthday!! I'm proud of you

for protecting yourself. You did great.

Happy B-day and Party Hard.

Greg.

VENT: I hate being the boundary police!

I just got a happy birthday call on my work # from fada. I hung up as

soon as I heard his voice.

It's so against my nature to do this and I HATE IT! I hate having to

say No over and over again in word and action and not being respected.

Even being NC sucks! But I know it's better than being on the roller

coaster of BP.

a

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Happy Birthday a! I am proud of you for your courage and

strength to do what you did.

erbussmom

>

> I just got a happy birthday call on my work # from fada. I hung

up as

> soon as I heard his voice.

>

> It's so against my nature to do this and I HATE IT! I hate having

to

> say No over and over again in word and action and not being

respected.

>

> Even being NC sucks! But I know it's better than being on the

roller

> coaster of BP.

>

> a

>

[Guest guest]

I'm sorry that he did that. Not respecing boundaries is awful. It does

suck being NC, though you are right... better than being on the

emotinoal rollar coaster and being in Oz. Less of two evils. No one

wants to be separated from a parent like this, but what else do you

do???

Hang in there.

And happy birthday. :-)

Grace

>

> I just got a happy birthday call on my work # from fada. I hung up

as

> soon as I heard his voice.

>

> It's so against my nature to do this and I HATE IT! I hate having to

> say No over and over again in word and action and not being

respected.

>

> Even being NC sucks! But I know it's better than being on the roller

> coaster of BP.

>

> a

>

[Guest guest]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY a~~~! Love Lizzy

>

> I just got a happy birthday call on my work # from fada. I hung

up as

> soon as I heard his voice.

>

> It's so against my nature to do this and I HATE IT! I hate having

to

> say No over and over again in word and action and not being

respected.

>

> Even being NC sucks! But I know it's better than being on the

roller

> coaster of BP.

>

> a

>

[Guest guest]

I am so grateful you wrote that about " feeling " it from their

perspectives. I guess that's my problem in a nut-shell. I wish I

could justify my anger and outrage and be in touch with it, rather

than feeling guilty for it. It's so ironic because I KNOW it's wrong

to feel that guilt but I am soooo conditioned. Thousands of dollars

of therapy will hopefully recondition this battered brain. Argh!

Judi

> > >

> > > I just got a happy birthday call on my work # from fada. I

hung

> up

> > as

> > > soon as I heard his voice.

> > >

> > > It's so against my nature to do this and I HATE IT! I hate

> having to

> > > say No over and over again in word and action and not being

> > respected.

> > >

> > > Even being NC sucks! But I know it's better than being on the

> roller

> > > coaster of BP.

> > >

> > > a

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

a,

That is so typical of a FADA. This is just like my foo. My fada does the same

thing, he writes a friendly card or calls for holidays and birthdays, so then

you are the bad guy, because how could he possibly be wrong. " all I was doing

was calling her for her birthday to wish her a happy birthday " . How could

ANYONE argue with a father calling his daughter on her birthday??

My FOO did this to me for years, and then I am the bad one because of having a

reaction that was meant to protect my boundaries, but the FOO would accuse me of

having a bad temper and the smear campaign would begin. And I was all BAD.

I really understand your anger and outrage. They are really the ones who are

outrageous in thinking that wishing someone a happy birthday is acceptable

outside of a healthy and respectful relationship.

good luck to you, stay strong and don't believe the FOG

WALKING TO HAPPINESS

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